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 Posted: Wed Jul 16, 2008 6:58 pm
Ok so...
A while ago my girlfriend kissed this guy...and than told me it was only because she was questioning weather she was really a lesbian...but after kissing him, that she knew she only wanted me. About a year later, thanks to good old gaia journals...I found out she let him finger her over her pants while I was out of town. Like the fool in love that I am, i forgave her because she said "I don't need him like I need you...I just needed him in that moment. plus, we would never work together because we both want to kill ourselves" eek Where did wanting to kill herself come from? She had been a cutter before...but she had stopped, I knew for a fact...but when she started hanging out with him again she started cutting again. She tells me shes not bisexual...but she needs us both in "different ways" I've been told by multiple friends that she hangs all over him, and they make-out all the time...but when I confront her face to face she denies it. I really love her, but I just don't know what to do anymore...help?
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Posted: Wed Jul 16, 2008 7:09 pm
Well, I don't really know if you'll like
what I say, but she seems two faced and that she
doesn't know what she wants in life. Or to her
it might not be cheating, I know a lot of people
who are bisexual who think that it is alright to date
and male and female, because well, I really don't know.
They just think its okay.
Maybe you should talk to her about it.
You can be sympathetic if she isn't sure
about who she is, but you shouldn't forgive her again.
She knows you are in love with her and will
do anything for her, so she'll probably use it to her advantage.
I would say to find someone who deserves your love
and who won't abuse it. But thats me D:
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Posted: Wed Jul 16, 2008 9:26 pm
~Forever my most precious person..~
That would be reason number 1 why I won't date a bisexual woman..ever.
Not all of them are like that, I know. So don't jump me for stereotyping. But from what I've seen, a lot of them are actually like that and it's best for me too veer away from that.
Being bi is one thing, acting out on it is another. Self-control is a big issue many people have a problem maintaining.
Forgiving her countless times would only cause her to, like Lora said, take advantage of you. She would keep doing things, knowing that if you found out, you'd forgive her.
There are boundaries, everyone has them. Know your boundaries.
If she's really doing all of these things, maybe you two need to sit down and talk about it. Love is between two people, not 3. I find love between more than 2 people to be selfish. That's my view though.
Like I said, know your boundaries, don't let her cross the line, if she does, leave her and find someone who has enough respect to be committed and faithful like everyone should be to their partner.
 ~Forever my Kaichou-sama..~
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Posted: Wed Jul 16, 2008 9:50 pm
I've tried talking to her about it...and she always promises it will never happen again...and if I confront her about it...she makes herself a victim...and I've been told by many people, including very close friends I should leave her...and I know I should...but at the same time I love her so much...and I can't imagine life without her...she one of those girls where is your have her attention you feel invincible...any tips on getting past that?
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Posted: Thu Jul 17, 2008 11:25 am
Well, I don't really know
how to get around the whole making you feel
invincible, but you should stand your ground.
You don't have to be vicious and an a*****e
but you should be assertive, tell her, shes had her
chances, and ask her what she gets out of cheating on you?
Why does she feel the need to hang on him and make out with
him, PLAY THE VICTIM. Play it well, you are the victim.
Don't let her be the one who is hurting. Really how can you
know if she is hurting or not.. Tell her like it is, call her out
on playing the victim...
And I know it may seem like life will not go on
without her but there are always other better fish
in the sea, and you'll find someone who won't use and
abuse you. Really.
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Posted: Thu Jul 17, 2008 2:23 pm
~Forever my most precious person..~
@Lora: Couldn't have said it better myself. Nicely put.
@Snowcone: It's wrong for her to turn all of what she is doing around. It really is. If she's manipulating you the way she is then you can't let her do it. Boundaries. I can't stress them enough. I will never let anyone cross my boundaries, no matter who it is.
This whole thing is also one reason why I think people are the most useless, worthless pieces of garbage God ever created. People suck, plain and simple.
But then again, there are nice people too. Everybody deserves happiness and she's crushing you hard.
If it were me in your place I would have ditched her ages ago.
~Forever my Kaichou-sama..~
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Posted: Sat Jul 19, 2008 11:40 am
So did we help at all?
How did it turn out?
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Posted: Mon Jul 21, 2008 8:09 am
Well...I'm going to give her one last chance...one final try...and if she ******** up again, I'm gone...and never going to look back
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Posted: Mon Jul 21, 2008 10:08 am
~Forever my most precious person..~
One last chances always lead to more and more chances..I'm actually surprised you can still trust her after all she's done to you.
I'm impressed.
I hope it goes well for you, and if not, and you need someone to talk to, drop me a PM..I will respond post haste.
~Forever my Kaichou-sama..~
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