Welcome to Gaia! ::

Well...

I can't speak for her but I have been in a similar situation...

My best friend confessed his love and tried to ask me out. Unlike your friend, I said no off the bat. I wasn't ready to date someone and I definitely didn't want to date him. He was my best friend...if we broke up, things would never be the same.

Now...I was really upset for a while after that. Really upset...like crying uncontrollably upset. Not because I thought I made a mistake by saying no. But because I thought I hurt his feelings. I know what it's like to be dumped...it sucks. But I can tell you first hand...dumping sucks too. Especially if you know how much it hurts to be on the other end. If we were still in school, I'd probably avoid him just so I wouldn't have to face him.

I was awkward for a few visits after that incident. But what really saved our relationship was his ability to act like he had never said anything. He just...never brought it up again. Ever. I said "no" so there was no point in pursuing the matter...let's go back to being friends.

If I were in her shoes, I'd want to be able to talk to you again without it being awkward. But at the same time I don't want to face you because I think you're mad/upset with me. Unfortunately you are going to have to deal with the fact she doesn't want to date you right now. The doesn't mean she never will (I'm marrying the guy I dumped) BUT. But this rift is the relationship is only going to get bigger if you allow it to. My suggestion is pretend that nothing happened. Pretend that your're okay and that life continues on. If you want to have the old relationship back, you need to act like you did back in the gold relationship. If I see that you're not mad, I'll have an easier time gathering the courage to see you.

But I'm not her so please take my advice with a grain of salt.

You shouldn't ever date just simply to find out if it might work. Cyanna is right when she says that getting into relationships with friends can be damaging to such a relationship. Currently one could say I am in a situation where I want my friendship with someone to become "more" than that, but I'm holding back and it actually is kind of painful, but it could be worse if things went wrong...Try and talk to here again and act like nothing happened. I know it might be difficult because you are the person that's not supposed to act like that, but she might be uneasy around you until the friendship is reintroduced to its normalcy.

If your prayers end up just breaking down into raw emotion and tears, keep praying anyway. "God, this hurts, help me" is a perfectly good prayer when you can't manage anything else. And as someone who's been completely rejected and ignored the past 5 months by one of my very best friends (and bf of two years), I can kind of relate to how you're feeling. Hopefully, after a few days your friend will realize that this incident is not worth ruining a great friendship. And whether she wants to date, to definitively say you're "just friends", or to kind of keep it ambiguous and see what will happen, you know that accepting that choice and not pushing anything is the best way to act on how much you care about her.

Actually that's not 100% what I was really trying to say. sweatdrop

What I wanted to say was to suggest the OP return to a state of being friends and act like he never asked her out. Because the boy in my story was able to do that, the weirdness of the situation wore off. We COULD go back to being friends without any issues.

BUT

"You shouldn't ever date just simply to find out if it might work. Cyanna is right when she says that getting into relationships with friends can be damaging to such a relationship."

If I didn't do that, I wouldn't be getting married this November. The boy I dumped in my story...a few months later I came back to him READY to take that chance and date him. I enjoyed being with him but (here's the catch)...I actually didn't love him.

I was 100% over my ex and I felt I could give us a fair chance. We agreed right from the start that this might not work. He was still a great friend to me...my best friend actually. I enjoyed being with him so much, I thought maybe I could learn to love him. But we agreed to try for the summer and if it did not work, then we would simply return to being friends. (this was going on while we were in college).

To be honest...the jump from "friends" to "dating" really didn't feel that different. I didn't feel like "now we have to become closer to each other and get to know each other better" because we were already pretty darn close. It felt exactly the same as being best friends...only now with hand holding...then eventually kissing (we both agreed that having sex was off the table until marriage (for me) or until we could handle the responsibility of a child (aka marriage for him XD)). Three months went by and while I found myself liking him more and more, I still didn't love him...but I was happy being with him and having a very steady, reliable, companion so we continued. I didn't realize I loved him until about 6 months to a year after we started. It wasn't like a "BAM! I love this guy!" kind of realization. It was more like "I love him...I want to spend the rest of my life with him...when did that happen?"

Ok, im over the drama. I though we were back to talking but, she removed me from her top friends and wont reply to my messages again. Ugg, life sucks.

crying and praying is natural, i cant cry just because i cant, and drift maybe because of something you did, i said GD once and felt like i was alone in the world, and the bible even says god prefers us not to marry but if we must he allows it, maybe she just wasnt right for you