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 Posted: Fri Feb 20, 2009 1:16 pm
Snorting and rolling his eyes wildly, Diego took off again at a high-kneed trot. Keep moving, keep moving until he was too tired and he collapsed. Maybe the voices would stop if he passed out. They didn’t when he slept. When he slept they were worse than ever. Those dreams. Screams. He shuddered and tossed his head again. everything had been so good! Two young daughters, Sekhmet come home, his brother’s new children; everything had been perfect! Now it was all gone, everything he’d ever been. Why him? What had he done? Was this madness punishment for his arrogance? For the cruelty of his youth? He didn’t know, didn’t care, didn’t care about anything. He just wanted it to stop. Wanted it all to stop. It was too much to bear. His pride in his wonderful looks, his sharp mind were being punished. Had to be punishment, how else could all this have come on so suddenly.
Coming to a halt, Diego lifted his head and screamed at the sky, at whatever force had done this to him. It wasn’t fair; he was better than the rest, he shouldn’t be the one to go insane! Yes! He was better, he was superior, he’d never really stopped feeling that, he’d just stopped saying it so there! Yes! He was above others, almost all others. Whatever had done this to him had no right. No right. This was all wrong, this should have happened to someone else. Not him. why him?
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Posted: Fri Feb 20, 2009 10:20 pm
 It was one thing to feel the remnants of wander lust every once in awhile, but it was totally different to experiance an urge like this one. Aitumn had always been an active nequus when it came to his physique, and so when he had made the decision to train himself more formitablly in combat skills his energy seemed to have sky rocketed. Was it the sheer desire to reach his goal that drew such fire from his soul? A soul that use to be nothing but the whim of the wind in his past, nonetheless. Yet even while it had been nothing but wandering that tugged at him, those feelings had been strong enough to drive him all over Urin without so much as staying in one place for over a few days. A few hours even depending on the scenery.
Aitumn was a nequus with a determination to reach his goals, thus he was able to throw himself into training. The blood bay rocked back onto his heels and dug his forehooves into the ground at rhythmic intervals, easily loping across the grassy lands. He wasn't certain what sort of exercise he should do today, perhaps something more to do with strength than an actual technique. No that seemed wrong. His body didn't want that sort of exertion of energy. Almost unconciously the stallion lengthened his strides into an easy gallop and felt the need to go faster still. That was it. He wanted to run. Its been a damn long time since he'd had a challenging race he could go all out on come to think of it.
These thoughts of training and running came to a sudden end however when a nequus' scream shattered the silence of the area. What in Urin?- It didn't take long for his hollow eyes to settle upon a golden figure off to the side, a Jala by the looks of it. The sleek blood bay pulled himself out of his gallop to come to an uncertain halt; eyeing the area around them. Nothing seemed amiss, but he knew better than trust his nothing but his eyes after the ordeal with Zaknafein. Though the thought to continue on struck him, for it wasn't his business to intrude; he couldn't help but stay planted in place. That scream had not been natural, it was almost blood curtling in the peace of the area.
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Posted: Sat Feb 21, 2009 9:35 am
Suddenly one of the voices flared out of the others, but he couldn’t decipher the words, didn’t care to either. The image of how mad he must look to anyone who might be watching him flashed across his mind’s eye, and Diego tossed his head and stamped hard. Then he wheeled about and sprung away into a mad gallop again. A moment later however, he screeched to a halt. Another Jala. Watching him.
Diego pinned his ears back and glared. “What? What do you want? Who are you?” Was this still his herd’s territory? He didn’t think so. Well no objections there then, but he didn’t need this, he didn’t need to be told he was crazy. He knew that damn well himself. He saw himself again, panting, disheveled, nothing like his usual sleek handsome self. This was what he was come to was it? The world reasserted itself, and he saw the tall dark stallion once more. This was what it was some to. This. This. This was it. Voices and images in his head, and strangers staring at him but no longer in awe. He had been beautiful! Wonderful! Braver than any, witty and intelligent and swift and graceful. No longer.
This was his punishment for his pride, his arrogance but damnit all he had every reason to be proud and arrogant. The world had no right to do this to him, and that damn Jala there had no right to be looking at him like... well like whatever it was looking at him like, it was hard to focus. He kept seeing himself. Over and over like he was looking into a mirror-clear lake. What was this? He’d never heard of mad people seeing themselves before. Perhaps he was just that damn arrogant.
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Posted: Sat Feb 21, 2009 10:33 am
Such a strange sight, but he really shouldn't be one to judge when it came to another's situation. For all he knew the golden colored stallion was going through a trying time that ground itself into the top of his priority list. Why did this come to mind? Aitumn himself had driven his mind to brink of madness when he questioned his past. A past he could not remember, and that had been quite frustrating. Damn that drekhallah aeri. For everything.
Although he did see the other gallop off, he was more surprised when it halted and turned its attention over to himself. Great. It hadn't been his intention to approach the stallion. "You caught me off guard is all. On such a quiet day I hadn't expected to hear that", the blood bay responded, keeping his voice mild and his body language indifferent despite the other's pinned ears and obvious disposition. Of course he wasn't entirely certain about what was going on, so he didn't mention either of his earlier thoughts.
As for the 'who' part the sleek stallion flicked his ears about to catch any stray sounds, still somewhat suspicious of the situation at a whole. It was not in his best interest to be caught an any sort of ambush. "Just a stallion out for a hard run, my name is Aitumn." As for the other's situation, he decided if he wanted to share what was going on he'd do it himself; it wasn't Aitumn's nature to stick his nose into other's business.
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Posted: Sat Feb 21, 2009 10:54 am
Diego tossed his head again and growled at the voices. They didn’t go away, but that one voice did flare up at him again. He tried to push it away, but somehow that made him fall closer to it, made it louder and more jumbled than ever. Drekhallah. Diego snorted, tossed his head again and then gave a bitter laugh. First sensible word he managed to catch out of the stream of his madness and it was a cuss. Typical. Just typical of the way his life was turning and twisting and falling apart. Prince of shits, that certainly described whatever or whoever had done this to him.
“Aitumn is it?” the golden stallion said eventually, “well how delightful to meet you on such a lovely day as today. I’m Diego. How lovely. Good for running around here is it? Nice firm flat ground? Maybe it’s good for flying too; not too windy today is it? Lovely quiet day, just charming. So tell me where do you come from? I’m from just a little south of Ryuten. Nice place, you can go and visit the two legs and get brushed whenever you like.”
Trying to focus his attention on the real world might work. Right. Lovely quiet day, nice blue sky - he was in it, he was flying but with unfamiliar beating of the wing, not Jala wings, flying on Aeri wings. Trees over there - he saw them, saw a bush full of berries and he plucked one and ate it, it was a kind he hated but he loved it. Aitumn there, and him here - he saw himself again, his eyes were wild and wide and he saw and felt himself toss his head again. This was all too much. This had to stop. He had to stop it. Had to.
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Posted: Sat Feb 21, 2009 11:23 am
The blood bay craned his neck about to get a better view of their surroundings, sending a shiver of light through his long midnight mane. "Good to meet you as well, Diego. The day is indeed very good for running, and flying I suppose", he replied evenly, although his attention was focused on the area around them. This golden stallion seemed to be either nervous or highly sarcastic, but sarcasm didn't strike him immediately so Aitumn thought the earlier. When Aitumn was satsified with his look around, and seeing nothing that may conceal large bodies of hostile nequus, he turned his full attention back to the other Jala. Something was going on, he just didn't know what.
"I have no permanent residence, but lately I've been staying in D'ob for the warmth." Best not to mention Shrilal, the trees, and the foals. If something strange was going on here, he didn't want to give any clues to the where abouts of his family. Last thing he wanted was to be dragged into some unknown conflict or plot that wasn't meant for him.
Still. Despite his suspicion of the situation Aitumn had to admit the more than wild looking Diego had something going on with him. Nevertheless Aitumn decided to keep him talking, to just maybe get some clue as to the situation. "Sounds nice. Those humans are rather handy with brushing and fruit giving. I suppose you wandered off for some time to your self?" No that was not a serious question, he didn't believe that was the case at all, but perhaps he'd get lucky into baiting out an actual answer.
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Posted: Sat Feb 21, 2009 11:40 am
The golden stallion nodded. “Yes, D’ob, nice and warm there. I usually live just on the border, so a bit colder, and we sometimes get snow but not too bad and not too often. Well a few winters ago we had a bad one, but we all split up and then met up again in spring and it was fine. Well I came back a bit later because I’d been in Shrilal but still, yes, nice near D’ob.” Damn. couldn’t he at least try to sound sane? He was gabbling like an idiot, one of those Nequus everyone saw on the fringes of a group and felt sort of sorry for but wouldn’t approach in case they turned out to be violent. Damn it all, he was never going to be that Nequus. He’d die first. Yes.
“Yes though, being near D’ob and near the humans is a perfect situation. My daughter loves it; we go to see the humans all the time for her because she hates looking messy. I suppose someone else will have to take her now though, because I don’t think I’m going back there anytime soon.” Diego snorted and tossed his head as a voice murmured tauntingly about Shrilal and foals. Yes he knew, he knew he youngest two were too young for him to leave them, so recently come from Shrilal but what could he do? Better no father at all than a mad father. Who knew what he might do as time went on. Maybe he’d get violent. Better he wasn’t around them. Much better.
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Posted: Sat Feb 21, 2009 12:39 pm
Chatty stallion, which seemed to merely enforce Aitumn's guess of nervousness. Yet, that seem to be it either. As wild looking as the golden Jala was, he wasn't throwing around any of the obvious body language. No continuously twitching ears, he wasn't prancing about in place or pacing back and forth, nor was he throwing sudden glances over his shoulder as if he expected to be attacked. So what was it? The more Aitumn thought about it the more uneasy the situation made him; however, he remained still with a fairly indifferent stance. Had he the need to either fight or flee, he was certain he would prevail. And that was enough to keep him sensible in the golden's presence.
"So you have a herd then?" Perhaps he just meant his family group, but from what he said about disbanding in winter he didn't seem to think so. Though he had to admit the bit about the stallion's foals was a bit disturbing. Something must have happened then, Aitumn realized, if he was considering leaving them. "If that's the case at least they'll have others to keep them safe; if that's what you choose to do." Although he admitted it'd be best for a foal to have a father, had he not made nearly that same decision with Tucker? If it came down to his son's life or spending time with him, Aitumn had chosen keeping the foal alive. Had he been killed by Zaknafein, he would have at least died protecting the colt from harm.
Although it wasn't possibly his place to judge, he couldn't be certain of the other's situation. The blood bay flexed a slender neck into its usual arch, accessing and believing there was no chance of ambush about. Steadily he approached a sensible solution, perhaps something to give the golden a better chance at sensible thought. Leaving one's foals was not a decision any father could come to lightly. "As I've said I'd been running earlier, to warm myself up. Its been entirely too long since I've had any sort of challenge against my speed, perhaps a race will help put things into persepctive for you? It is not an easy decision to leave one's children, after all."
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Posted: Sat Feb 21, 2009 1:01 pm
Diego watched the other cautiously as he approached. "Yes," he said after a moment, "yes I have a herd. The girls have a lot of family to look after them as well as friends. They'll be alright. They'll miss me but they'll be alright." He'd miss them too, although perhaps not for very long. He might forget them or, who knew, he might not be alive much longer. Perhaps a last race would be nice. He didn't need to win it, just to run for a while would be good. He had been planning to run until he fell after all; this was a decent place to start.
"Alright, yes, a race sounds good," the golden stallion bobbed his head in agreement. "Been a long time since I've raced. Not sure how good I am anymore. Still, I suppose we'll see." Yes. They'd see. Aitumn looked like quite the runner, but as he'd already decided he didn't need to win. All he needed to do was run fast enough to leave the madness behind, or at least forget it for a while.
How strange it was to be aware that he was mad; so far as he was aware most mad people thought they were normal. Perhaps he would come to believe that in time. If there was time. He didn't want there to be time. He should just keep on running east, into the dark forest and on as far as he could go before death claimed him. Who knew, perhaps he would reach the mountains themselves, see a beautiful view from those icy peaks and then fall into blissful oblivion. That might be an acceptable way to die.
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Posted: Sat Feb 21, 2009 1:30 pm
This would be the extent of his partcipation in the other's troubles, whatever they may be. Sometimes it just took a good long run to realize a not so obvious answer. Of course, the samurai bae Bakufu had also taught him the means of meditation, but running worked just as well. Besides, he didn't want to involve himself fully in Diego's business without some sort invite to do so.
"Very good. We'll just go as far as we please, no need to set an end point." An endurance race then, as he wasn't planning on sprinting full out; especially with the other's disposition. "If that's suitable for you, that is." Either way Aitumn was merely planning on running and getting a fair amount of exercise to challenge his muscles. The sleek stallion approached the rest of the way, keeping at least a fully length or so between them as he set his sights on the area in front of them.
His muscles were already warm from the trip over, and taunt in preparation to bolt off as soon as the other deemed himself read. "Shall we?"
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Posted: Sat Feb 21, 2009 2:04 pm
Diego nodded; "Ready," and sprang away, trusting that Aitumn would do the same. So here he was, running. The ground flew away beneath him, the world rushed by, the wind of his speed ruffled his feathers and whipped his short tail out behind him. So here he was. The voices kept pace with him easily. Every so often his vision seemed to jolt to the side, making him stagger intermittently. He kept running, because there was nothing else to do.
Perhaps this madness was temporary. Perhaps it would go away. Perhaps. Perhaps it would get worse. Perhaps he would lose all grip on reality, live on in a world of his own fantasies. Perhaps. Perhaps he wouldn't have the spine to step into the dark forest, to begin the end of whatever remained of his life. Perhaps. Perhaps he would. Perhaps he would be dead before spring. Perhaps.
Gritting his teeth, Diego forced his muscles into greater effort. No more thinking, just running. Running away. What else could he have done? Far better to disappear than ruin his image of golden perfection. Yes. He had remained perfect, softer in word and deed but perfect within, no more tolerant of idiots. People like Iona who were slow but good and kind and such yes, but those who were just dumb he had no more tolerance before than he ever had. He just pretended. Perhaps that was what he was being punished for; pretending. Perhaps he should return to his haughtiness, return to the Diego who always had a cutting comment ready. Perhaps. Perhaps.
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Posted: Sat Feb 21, 2009 2:33 pm
Through a quick burst and release of tense muscle the blood bay bolted forward not long after Diego had. He was ready, willing, and able to keep up with what ever pace the other set; however, his desire to run faster and fuller with every stride drew him out front slightly. Avoiding anything that may have been in his path would be easily done with a quick adjustment to his stride or a twist in his path. He almost hoped for such an obstruction, something to better his training. Training. Protect. He had to protect his family, but he could only do that if he got stronger; better than he was before.
While he ran through the exstacy of burning muscle and biting wind, his mind flew to a single subject: Cressida and the foals. He had done his best to protect her and Tucker from the drekhallah Zaknafein earlier in the year, but the threat of him coming back at any moment was still present. To protect would he need to kill? Should he? He knew he wouldn't be able to restrain himself either way, so it hardly mattered. Although he dubiously avoided killing whenever possible. It may not be avoidable next time.
The running, he realized, was not only for Diego, but himself as well. There were many things that troubled the blood bay, things that would need to be solved sooner or later. By whatever means necissary to protect his family.
He wasn't certain how far they had gone or how long they had been running now, but the rythmic pounding of his muscles seemed to have dulled sense about them. A flicking of his lengthy midnight tail and Aitumn dug into more of his reserve, quickening the pace of his strides. The thought of Diego running with him caused him to glance over his shoulder and check on the position of the golden jala, hollow dark eyes of the blood bay as lifeless and dull as always. His curse, he realised some time ago. No matter how he felt, his eyes would never be able to portray it. "You doing alright?" he called over his shoulder. Aitumn could run for awhile longer, but he thought best not to push the golden.
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Posted: Sat Feb 21, 2009 2:50 pm
Diego grunted in response; he hadn't the breath for anything else. Endurance had always been his greatest failing. He didn't want to stop though, it didn't matter that the voices weren't any quieter; running was something to be doing so that he didn't have to think about the voices, or about the future. It wasn't right for this to have happened to him. It had to be a mistake, this curse that had been put on him. Had to be.
Abruptly the decision to stop was made for him as the word swung around again. He saw himself and the disconcerting feeling of trying to run towards himself made him misstep and crumple into a heap. For a moment he just lay there panting, but he didn't allow himself long. Cursing under his breath, the blue-eyed stallion got his bearing and shoved himself back to his hooves. Damn.
"I must have tripped," he muttered vaguely, giving himself a shake and struggling to get his breath back. Well he didn't seem to be badly hurt; his knees hurt a little but not too much. He'd live. Sadly. It would have been so much easier if he'd just broken his neck or something.
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Posted: Sat Feb 21, 2009 3:10 pm
So be it. He was about to return his gaze back to the front when he spotted from the corner of his eye the golden figure topple over. s**t. Aitumn quickly broke stride and loped in a wide semi-circle to turn back around again. Falling always was a nasty sort, and though it didn't happen often to the blood bay when he staggered he usually fell. A worst of the worst so to speak, since only the terrible mishaps seemed to find its way around his normally agile hooves.
By the time he approached Diego again he had slowed considerablly and was able to come to a complete stop without having to really dig into his strength. "Looked fairly nasty", the blood bay commented, but a quick look over told him it must not have been too serious. Outwardly anyway, considering the golden was able to stand and all.
Taking a look around they had seemed to stay within the area of D'ob, not quite as close to Shrilal as he would have liked, but it was only incentive to get back into speed and training his endurance on the way home. He had no desire to spend the night away from his family at the very least. At least they hadn't wandered into Yisi, the marshy ground would have made it difficult to run at full tilt. Now the question was what to do. He wasn't certain if it had helped Diego at all, but it had been worth the exercise. "Would you like to continue or shall I leave you to yourself now?" He'd rather not have his company become stale.
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Posted: Sat Feb 21, 2009 3:26 pm
Diego frowned and tossed his head, taking a few paces forward to check that walking was still possible. Yes, he was alright. He'd be sore tomorrow, but he couldn't find it in himself to care. Pain. No pain, what did it matter? It wasn't happening to golden Diego anymore; he was someone else entirely now. Something else. Nothing. Just another lunatic soon to be a heap of bones in some lonely corner of the world.
"I've had enough," the blue-eyed stallion said eventually. "Thank you for the race." There wasn't anything else to say. Diego would have thought of something witty or polite or... something. He couldn't come up with a thing. Who was he now? What should he call himself? He couldn't be Diego, could he? Was he? He didn't know. He didn't know anything. Sighing, the golden stallion lowered his head to rub at one of his knees. Thanks to the soft grass underhoof he didn't even seem to have broken the skin. How lucky.
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