|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
 Posted: Sun Mar 08, 2009 8:36 pm
When you finally decide to have sex, I think most of us here would agree it's a big desicion. There are a lot of things that need to be taken into account, and I figured we should have a place to talk about it.
My boyfriend of ten months recently asked me if I was ready for sex. I told him I didn't feel ready, and I loved him very much, I just need a little more time. I also told him that when we do finally have sex we are always, always, always going to use a condom, even though I'm on birth control already (cramps, ew).
There's also a really big emotional aspect involved in this desicion too, I think. I've heard people say when you know you won't regret sleeping with them, even if you break up, you're ready. I've also heard if you're asking "Am I ready?" you're probably not.
So, discuss. How will you know you're ready? What precautions need to be taken before you actually have sex?
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Mar 10, 2009 2:37 pm
i'm on birth control too for erratic periods -.- (seriously having eggs and a
womb sucks razz ) but i would always use a condom, cause birth control is
not 100&#xsa;fe an neither are condoms.
i havn't a clue how i'll know when im ready. probs when il be mature
enough to go buy/force him to buy condoms without blushing >.< lol (an
im 18 -.-) lol
i think another part of it is feeling that comfortable with someone to
actually lose my V with them, everytime i imagne losing my v i cringe,
espesh with the bleeding an everything, an i can imagine it being really
awkward an embarassing, i guess when i get over that ill be ready.
also terrified of kids an atm thats one of the main reasons i'm not havin
sex right now lol, if i got preggers now it would ruin my life, no joke. an i
know the chances of gettin pregant are pretty low with all contreception id
use, but still id spend the next 9months with every stomach ache id get
thinking i was going into labour xp
andd i've also discussed sex with my bf, an we both agree we're pretty
happy as we are smile
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Mar 11, 2009 10:25 am
indeed however one thing to point out as when the time does come up if bleeding occurs it is rather important to then wait a period of time before repeating the act in order to enable the vaginal walls to heal.
On another note I am in agreement with this thread, I am quite happy that I have not given my virginity to anyone as of yet.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Mar 11, 2009 3:28 pm
Twizted Humanitarian indeed however one thing to point out as when the time does come up if bleeding occurs it is rather important to then wait a period of time before repeating the act in order to enable the vaginal walls to heal. On another note I am in agreement with this thread, I am quite happy that I have not given my virginity to anyone as of yet. by bleeding i mean when your hymen breaks, an i should hope that doesn't heal over otherwise id be a virgin all over again xp
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Mar 11, 2009 6:59 pm
I've heard the bleeding is so minor, that most people may not even notice, with the exception of the pain. You may not even have a hymen, or it may have already broken. I'm about 90% sure if I ever had one, it'd broken by now.
The main things holding me back are a complete and total fear of getting pregnant and a fear of us breaking up shortly after it finally happens. I know that birthcontrol + condom mean that the chances are pretty low of pregnancy, but it still scares me, since you hear the (really rare) instances of people getting pregnant even using both properly. I'll probably keep some Plan B around, just in case the condom breaks or something :/
I also have (very minor) abandonment issues and I have this irrational fear that my boyfriend and I will break up shortly after we have sex. I know it's silly, as he's made it very clear that he loves me, respects me, and from what he's said he intends to stay with me for a long, indefinate period of time. I've just had some bad experiences in the past I suppose.
I think communication is key in any relationship, and if I feel awkward talking to him about these things, we'd probably best hold off on sex. If you can't talk about sex with your partner, you shouldn't be having it.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri Mar 13, 2009 2:22 pm
freelance lover I've heard the bleeding is so minor, that most people may not even notice, with the exception of the pain. You may not even have a hymen, or it may have already broken. I'm about 90% sure if I ever had one, it'd broken by now.
The main things holding me back are a complete and total fear of getting pregnant and a fear of us breaking up shortly after it finally happens. I know that birthcontrol + condom mean that the chances are pretty low of pregnancy, but it still scares me, since you hear the (really rare) instances of people getting pregnant even using both properly. I'll probably keep some Plan B around, just in case the condom breaks or something :/
I also have (very minor) abandonment issues and I have this irrational fear that my boyfriend and I will break up shortly after we have sex. I know it's silly, as he's made it very clear that he loves me, respects me, and from what he's said he intends to stay with me for a long, indefinate period of time. I've just had some bad experiences in the past I suppose.
I think communication is key in any relationship, and if I feel awkward talking to him about these things, we'd probably best hold off on sex. If you can't talk about sex with your partner, you shouldn't be having it. its weird ive heard ppl say different things, iv heard people say it only hurts if your not relaxed enuf, or your havnt used lube, and ive heard ppl say they bled loads/not at all that it hurt loads and was awful/ that is was fabulous an romantic like in the movies. so i really havn't the foggiest idea what im supposed to expect in that department lol sweatdrop yea i know sum1 who went "double dutch" condom an pill and got pregnant when she lost her V, it always freaks me out that it could happen. i also know sum1 on the pill an was gettin contreceptive injection, got pregnant an didnt notice till it was too late to abort it. that also freaks me out, i think ill be one of those ppl who would take a pregnancy test after every bit of sex lol -.- i totally agree with you about if u cant talk about it with him/dont do it!! ive heard of ppl saying they didnt use condom cos they were afraid of asking! :S shouldnt be havin sex then should they -.- i can sort of talk about it with mine, like i can't talk about us doin it without blushin an not being able to look at him (pathetic i know razz ) but i can watch sex scenes on tv an discuss weird sexual things, so long as they're not in the context of us lol, if that makes sense. how long have u and ur bf been going out?
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Mar 14, 2009 5:56 pm
Wish_on_a_Cloud its weird ive heard ppl say different things, iv heard people say it only hurts if your not relaxed enuf, or your havnt used lube, and ive heard ppl say they bled loads/not at all that it hurt loads and was awful/ that is was fabulous an romantic like in the movies. so i really havn't the foggiest idea what im supposed to expect in that department lol sweatdrop yea i know sum1 who went "double dutch" condom an pill and got pregnant when she lost her V, it always freaks me out that it could happen. i also know sum1 on the pill an was gettin contreceptive injection, got pregnant an didnt notice till it was too late to abort it. that also freaks me out, i think ill be one of those ppl who would take a pregnancy test after every bit of sex lol -.- i totally agree with you about if u cant talk about it with him/dont do it!! ive heard of ppl saying they didnt use condom cos they were afraid of asking! :S shouldnt be havin sex then should they -.- i can sort of talk about it with mine, like i can't talk about us doin it without blushin an not being able to look at him (pathetic i know razz ) but i can watch sex scenes on tv an discuss weird sexual things, so long as they're not in the context of us lol, if that makes sense. how long have u and ur bf been going out?
And I totally know what you mean about feeling awkward talking to the SO about it. After he asked if I wnated to have sex, I told him I wasn't ready, but like... twenty minutes later I told him very emphatically that we were always, always, always going to use a condom since I am NOT BECOMING PREGNANT. I think I kinda freaked him out, since he just sort of... nodded. Hahaha.
I just feel like I really need to explain to him my pregnancy phobia as well as my irrational fear of us breaking up shortly after. I just know it'll be an awkward conversation to have because it'll be like "None of these things effect you really, I just need to talk at you so I feel like you understand, even though all my fears are totally irrational." Sometimes I just need to talk at people, to make myself feel better about things.
But I also know what you mean about sort being able to talk to him about it. My friend laughed really hard at me when I told them he and I were watching The History of Sex together on the History Channel. They were like "So you're in his room, on his bed, watching The History of Sex, but you're not having sex...." But for some reason talking about us having sex is weird.
He and I have been together 10 months, by the way. How long have you and your boy been together?
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun Mar 15, 2009 10:10 am
Communication is definitely vital between partners on the subject me and my girlfriend have talked on the subject and we both agree that sex is not something we wish to worry about right now we will leave that for the future and when it happens it happens.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Mar 16, 2009 3:30 pm
freelance lover Wish_on_a_Cloud its weird ive heard ppl say different things, iv heard people say it only hurts if your not relaxed enuf, or your havnt used lube, and ive heard ppl say they bled loads/not at all that it hurt loads and was awful/ that is was fabulous an romantic like in the movies. so i really havn't the foggiest idea what im supposed to expect in that department lol sweatdrop yea i know sum1 who went "double dutch" condom an pill and got pregnant when she lost her V, it always freaks me out that it could happen. i also know sum1 on the pill an was gettin contreceptive injection, got pregnant an didnt notice till it was too late to abort it. that also freaks me out, i think ill be one of those ppl who would take a pregnancy test after every bit of sex lol -.- i totally agree with you about if u cant talk about it with him/dont do it!! ive heard of ppl saying they didnt use condom cos they were afraid of asking! :S shouldnt be havin sex then should they -.- i can sort of talk about it with mine, like i can't talk about us doin it without blushin an not being able to look at him (pathetic i know razz ) but i can watch sex scenes on tv an discuss weird sexual things, so long as they're not in the context of us lol, if that makes sense. how long have u and ur bf been going out?
And I totally know what you mean about feeling awkward talking to the SO about it. After he asked if I wnated to have sex, I told him I wasn't ready, but like... twenty minutes later I told him very emphatically that we were always, always, always going to use a condom since I am NOT BECOMING PREGNANT. I think I kinda freaked him out, since he just sort of... nodded. Hahaha.
I just feel like I really need to explain to him my pregnancy phobia as well as my irrational fear of us breaking up shortly after. I just know it'll be an awkward conversation to have because it'll be like "None of these things effect you really, I just need to talk at you so I feel like you understand, even though all my fears are totally irrational." Sometimes I just need to talk at people, to make myself feel better about things.
But I also know what you mean about sort being able to talk to him about it. My friend laughed really hard at me when I told them he and I were watching The History of Sex together on the History Channel. They were like "So you're in his room, on his bed, watching The History of Sex, but you're not having sex...." But for some reason talking about us having sex is weird.
He and I have been together 10 months, by the way. How long have you and your boy been together?oh gawd i hate the pregnacy horror stories lol, i know a few people who'v had pregnancy "scares" but most of the time its cause they missed a pill etc. its stupid when ppl have sex without contreception an then say the pregnancy is an accident, that really gets me annoyed, they oviously knew a baby/sti might come out of it grr! i do know tons of people havin sex who arnt pregnant, i just dont feel like i wanna take the risk sweatdrop i know it sounds daft but i think it would honestly screw my life up, not that i would have the baby anyway but still. see i'd wanna go buy a plan b, but id kinda feel awkward buying it, (iv bought porno mags but buying moring after pill embarasses me:S) good plan tho to have one for backup. i dont think guys completly understand the whole baby thing, i explained it to mine and he jus looked at me like i was loopy. (complete overgeneralisation here btw) men seem to think every woman wants a baby neutral if they were the ones who got pregnant im sure it would be different razz haha im exactly the same! i watch all these weird sex programs on tv with him an we watch porn but it's not cause we have sex to it lol, i dont really know why i watch it really, probs curiousity razz i tried to talk to mine about the sex thing, he just looked really scared and muttered something about us being happy as we are, and that who cares what other people do, i think thas wat he sed anyways cause he went all embarassed lol. ahh thats alright i worry wen people say they been together for like a week an make it seem like its a long time lol, i bin with mine a year an a few months, i cant really remember when we started going out xp if we id known we were gunna last this long i would have taken more notice or the start date razz another thing about this sex thing, the romantic films make it seem really goodand id be quite miffed if i thought it was good an it sucked, so i suppose im inagining this really horrid experiance so anything that is really nasty will seem okay redface lol
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Mar 16, 2009 5:28 pm
Yeah. I think getting pregnant when you've used contraception incorrectly is kind of irresponsible. If you've missed a pill, just use a condom or something as well. Geez, it's not hard. As long as you're well stocked, it's not a big deal. Buying Plan B doesn't really worry me either, since I'll already be buying birth control- the pharamsist may already assume I'm having sex anyway. But he can buy the condoms. Pssssh.
I think he just need to better understand my paranoia of pregnancy to understand how severe it really is. He already knows I want to adopt kids, since pregnancy scares the bagebus out of me. I've considered getting my tubes tied, but that's a step I will take once I've gotten married and I've discussed it with my husband. I'd feel selfish making that choice on my own.
I think he and I just feel like sex is becoming more of an option since we've progressed physically at a pretty steady pace. We haven't rushed it or anything, and we've been together for almost a year which is around the amount of time I start finding sex between couples acceptable (since I think you should be in love to have sex, but that's just me...) I'm not so concerned about what other people are doing or think (even if telling my friends he and are having sex may be weird... they all no we're NOT so correcting them in conversation could be... weird.)
I've kind of accepted that your first time having sex will be kind of disappointing, but I'd really love to share such a unique expereince with him- I think it would only bring us closer together. I don't think we NEED sex though to be closer... but I think we're both wanting it more and more.
And I know what you mean about the ambiguous start of relationship... he and I started like that and we eventually decided May was when we became a couple, so we count it from there. Ironically, both of our birthdays and our "one year" are all within two weeks of one another xD
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Mar 17, 2009 3:02 pm
freelance lover Yeah. I think getting pregnant when you've used contraception incorrectly is kind of irresponsible. If you've missed a pill, just use a condom or something as well. Geez, it's not hard. As long as you're well stocked, it's not a big deal. Buying Plan B doesn't really worry me either, since I'll already be buying birth control- the pharamsist may already assume I'm having sex anyway. But he can buy the condoms. Pssssh.
I think he just need to better understand my paranoia of pregnancy to understand how severe it really is. He already knows I want to adopt kids, since pregnancy scares the bagebus out of me. I've considered getting my tubes tied, but that's a step I will take once I've gotten married and I've discussed it with my husband. I'd feel selfish making that choice on my own.
I think he and I just feel like sex is becoming more of an option since we've progressed physically at a pretty steady pace. We haven't rushed it or anything, and we've been together for almost a year which is around the amount of time I start finding sex between couples acceptable (since I think you should be in love to have sex, but that's just me...) I'm not so concerned about what other people are doing or think (even if telling my friends he and are having sex may be weird... they all no we're NOT so correcting them in conversation could be... weird.)
I've kind of accepted that your first time having sex will be kind of disappointing, but I'd really love to share such a unique expereince with him- I think it would only bring us closer together. I don't think we NEED sex though to be closer... but I think we're both wanting it more and more.
And I know what you mean about the ambiguous start of relationship... he and I started like that and we eventually decided May was when we became a couple, so we count it from there. Ironically, both of our birthdays and our "one year" are all within two weeks of one another xD i have to go to the doctors for my pill, my sis is on the pill too for cramps, she's thinking of stopping soon cause apparently after being on them for 5 years can affect your fertility with the pill she's on, id rather be on the pill for the rest of my life, its so much easier lol. id probs make him buy a condom just to make sure that he would do it an its not just me forcing sex on him.. lol i havn't thought about getting tubes tied, i think if i ever had a pregnacy scare/got pregant i would seriously consider it lol, if you got pregnant would you keep it? i think id rather adopt anyways, i dont really want kids, i can put up with them once they're old enuf that i can play games with them but babies/toddlers i just dont know what to do with them, freaks me out. so id get a ready made one razz plus i would rather have my independance, and th world overpopulated as it is why make more? razz everyone tells me its cos im young i dont want kids, but im 18 and every girl i know wats kids lol. yea i dont think you should rush into sex, 6/7 months would probs be about an acceptable time for me not tojudge someone lol -.- it doesnt bother me what my friends think, 1 of my m8s knows im still a virgin, the lads assume pill= sex. an most girl mates assume i am an i dont bother correctting them, i think it my business who knows razz . see i thought me an my bf would probs be like that an want it more and more but we're not we're just kinda drifting along as we are, well he's not complaining anyways so xp aww that is ironic lol razz i think mine was around christmas maybe, we'd been close before, like mentally going out without saying it, the only thing that changed when we started dating was that we kiss etc lol gawd i dont think ive ever written as much on a thread ever neutral lol
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Mar 17, 2009 3:37 pm
I know, our conversation is getting long... but that's okay. It's nice to have someone to discuss these anxieties with... I don't really know who I could talk to at school about this, and I don't know when I'll see my best friends back home again so... hahaha.
On the subject of birth control though, I don't think I'd mind terribly if it effected my fertility. I sometimes wish I could just give someone who wanted to have a baby and couldn't my fertility... alas. I want to adopt for some of the same reasons you said. There are so many kids I who need good homes and I know I could provide that once I was ready.
Honestly, if I got pregnant right now at this stage in my life, I would seriously consider abortion, but only if I was early into my first trimester. I'm in college, so I'm in no position to raise a child, much less even deal with a pregnancy. And I wouldn't want to bring a child into the world unless I myself could care for it- I don't think I'd trust anyone else. Plus it's much cheaper to get an abortion than pay for all the costs of pregnancy and delivery, etc. I think abortion would be a last option only though, if I got pregnant by some freak accident where we had done everything right and it just happened. I would always consider adoption before abortion though. Always.
I don't plan on settling down for a long time, since I'm a stage manager for the theatre and that will probably involve a lot of traveling and moving around, at least when I'm younger. But I don't really want to still be a virgin when I'm 30 because I'm scared of pregnancy.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri Mar 20, 2009 1:49 pm
freelance lover I know, our conversation is getting long... but that's okay. It's nice to have someone to discuss these anxieties with... I don't really know who I could talk to at school about this, and I don't know when I'll see my best friends back home again so... hahaha.
On the subject of birth control though, I don't think I'd mind terribly if it effected my fertility. I sometimes wish I could just give someone who wanted to have a baby and couldn't my fertility... alas. I want to adopt for some of the same reasons you said. There are so many kids I who need good homes and I know I could provide that once I was ready.
Honestly, if I got pregnant right now at this stage in my life, I would seriously consider abortion, but only if I was early into my first trimester. I'm in college, so I'm in no position to raise a child, much less even deal with a pregnancy. And I wouldn't want to bring a child into the world unless I myself could care for it- I don't think I'd trust anyone else. Plus it's much cheaper to get an abortion than pay for all the costs of pregnancy and delivery, etc. I think abortion would be a last option only though, if I got pregnant by some freak accident where we had done everything right and it just happened. I would always consider adoption before abortion though. Always.
I don't plan on settling down for a long time, since I'm a stage manager for the theatre and that will probably involve a lot of traveling and moving around, at least when I'm younger. But I don't really want to still be a virgin when I'm 30 because I'm scared of pregnancy. i know wat u mean, i know a few ppl who are virgins but they're virgins cos of a religious thing rather than just being terrfied of kids razz i think that too! i was watching some trashy chat show an they had this woman on and she'd become infertile and was paying for all this treatment to try sort it out, i felt really sorry for her an its just like if they cud do womb etc transplants she could have it razz im not really bothered about my fertility either, some ppl say they feel less of a women if they cant have kids but i think not havin boobs would make me feel less of a women rather than my womb etc lol -.- my aunty got told she couldnt have kids, she adopted, then she got pregnant lol (i dunno why i brought that up, the adoption thing reminded me) she spent her whole pregnancy refusing to talk about the baby, decorate a room or buy clothes for it cause she was convinced she would lose it or something would happen, then when the baby was born it was like "crap we need to go nappy shopping!" lol i think id consider abortion before adoption, the idea of a baby in me and birth and stretch marks, and saggy boobs and the risk of dying puts me off from all that lol, we talked about it in class once and i sed my reasons for not wanting kids and ppl called me selfish :S then sum1 sed (thinking i cudnt hear) that i was a lesbian for not wanting kids, :S very twisted people lol. sometimes i look after my aunties baby, well not a baby he's 3 now and i just dont know wat to do/say to him, its just like theres a mental block between me and my maernal instinct lol. tbh i would rather be like us and not want children than be like so many girls out there whose onlyambition is to have kids. tbh i think socity brainwashes women into believing they need a family and kids but thats just me lol, i dont wanna be 30 an a virgin either, ill probs just get to a stage where ill think "wat the hell" and do it lol see in england with the nhs its cheaper to give birth to it cause its free lol.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Mar 21, 2009 10:52 am
Wish_on_a_Cloud freelance lover I know, our conversation is getting long... but that's okay. It's nice to have someone to discuss these anxieties with... I don't really know who I could talk to at school about this, and I don't know when I'll see my best friends back home again so... hahaha.
On the subject of birth control though, I don't think I'd mind terribly if it effected my fertility. I sometimes wish I could just give someone who wanted to have a baby and couldn't my fertility... alas. I want to adopt for some of the same reasons you said. There are so many kids I who need good homes and I know I could provide that once I was ready.
Honestly, if I got pregnant right now at this stage in my life, I would seriously consider abortion, but only if I was early into my first trimester. I'm in college, so I'm in no position to raise a child, much less even deal with a pregnancy. And I wouldn't want to bring a child into the world unless I myself could care for it- I don't think I'd trust anyone else. Plus it's much cheaper to get an abortion than pay for all the costs of pregnancy and delivery, etc. I think abortion would be a last option only though, if I got pregnant by some freak accident where we had done everything right and it just happened. I would always consider adoption before abortion though. Always.
I don't plan on settling down for a long time, since I'm a stage manager for the theatre and that will probably involve a lot of traveling and moving around, at least when I'm younger. But I don't really want to still be a virgin when I'm 30 because I'm scared of pregnancy. i know wat u mean, i know a few ppl who are virgins but they're virgins cos of a religious thing rather than just being terrfied of kids razz i think that too! i was watching some trashy chat show an they had this woman on and she'd become infertile and was paying for all this treatment to try sort it out, i felt really sorry for her an its just like if they cud do womb etc transplants she could have it razz im not really bothered about my fertility either, some ppl say they feel less of a women if they cant have kids but i think not havin boobs would make me feel less of a women rather than my womb etc lol -.- my aunty got told she couldnt have kids, she adopted, then she got pregnant lol (i dunno why i brought that up, the adoption thing reminded me) she spent her whole pregnancy refusing to talk about the baby, decorate a room or buy clothes for it cause she was convinced she would lose it or something would happen, then when the baby was born it was like "crap we need to go nappy shopping!" lol i think id consider abortion before adoption, the idea of a baby in me and birth and stretch marks, and saggy boobs and the risk of dying puts me off from all that lol, we talked about it in class once and i sed my reasons for not wanting kids and ppl called me selfish :S then sum1 sed (thinking i cudnt hear) that i was a lesbian for not wanting kids, :S very twisted people lol. sometimes i look after my aunties baby, well not a baby he's 3 now and i just dont know wat to do/say to him, its just like theres a mental block between me and my maernal instinct lol. tbh i would rather be like us and not want children than be like so many girls out there whose onlyambition is to have kids. tbh i think socity brainwashes women into believing they need a family and kids but thats just me lol, i dont wanna be 30 an a virgin either, ill probs just get to a stage where ill think "wat the hell" and do it lol see in england with the nhs its cheaper to give birth to it cause its free lol.
I lol'd at the womb transplant btw. xD Hahaha. No kidding. She could have my womb in a moments notice. Hahaha.
I think, at this stage in my life while I'm in college, I would probably get an abortion since I'm in no position to even deal with a pregnancy. I'm a theatre major, so I have a lot of work, rehearsals, etc and it can get very stressful and tiring. There's no way I'd be able to do that if I was pregnant. I've also done some research on abortion, and I've come to realize abortion really isn't selfish. It's more selfish to have a child you can't provide for. Besides, I think I heard a statistic that most pregnancies actually abort themselves in the first five weeks or so. The woman just gets some bleeding, and things she's started her period. No big deal.
Speaking of pregnant, I jsut found it I need to up my dosage of my birth control, since the one I was on wasn't fully effective for me. I was spotting and crap before I reached my week of inactive pills- so I suppose it's a good thing my boyfriend I didn't have sex, otherwise I'd be flipping out (even if I can't be pregnant... since I started my period, hahaha.) I'm getting my new stuff later today and started tomorrow. Wheee.
I'm glad there's someone out there like me who has similar feelings regarding adoption and pregnancy. Most of my friend understand, but few share my exact sentiments.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun Mar 22, 2009 1:34 pm
freelance lover Wish_on_a_Cloud freelance lover I know, our conversation is getting long... but that's okay. It's nice to have someone to discuss these anxieties with... I don't really know who I could talk to at school about this, and I don't know when I'll see my best friends back home again so... hahaha.
On the subject of birth control though, I don't think I'd mind terribly if it effected my fertility. I sometimes wish I could just give someone who wanted to have a baby and couldn't my fertility... alas. I want to adopt for some of the same reasons you said. There are so many kids I who need good homes and I know I could provide that once I was ready.
Honestly, if I got pregnant right now at this stage in my life, I would seriously consider abortion, but only if I was early into my first trimester. I'm in college, so I'm in no position to raise a child, much less even deal with a pregnancy. And I wouldn't want to bring a child into the world unless I myself could care for it- I don't think I'd trust anyone else. Plus it's much cheaper to get an abortion than pay for all the costs of pregnancy and delivery, etc. I think abortion would be a last option only though, if I got pregnant by some freak accident where we had done everything right and it just happened. I would always consider adoption before abortion though. Always.
I don't plan on settling down for a long time, since I'm a stage manager for the theatre and that will probably involve a lot of traveling and moving around, at least when I'm younger. But I don't really want to still be a virgin when I'm 30 because I'm scared of pregnancy. i know wat u mean, i know a few ppl who are virgins but they're virgins cos of a religious thing rather than just being terrfied of kids razz i think that too! i was watching some trashy chat show an they had this woman on and she'd become infertile and was paying for all this treatment to try sort it out, i felt really sorry for her an its just like if they cud do womb etc transplants she could have it razz im not really bothered about my fertility either, some ppl say they feel less of a women if they cant have kids but i think not havin boobs would make me feel less of a women rather than my womb etc lol -.- my aunty got told she couldnt have kids, she adopted, then she got pregnant lol (i dunno why i brought that up, the adoption thing reminded me) she spent her whole pregnancy refusing to talk about the baby, decorate a room or buy clothes for it cause she was convinced she would lose it or something would happen, then when the baby was born it was like "crap we need to go nappy shopping!" lol i think id consider abortion before adoption, the idea of a baby in me and birth and stretch marks, and saggy boobs and the risk of dying puts me off from all that lol, we talked about it in class once and i sed my reasons for not wanting kids and ppl called me selfish :S then sum1 sed (thinking i cudnt hear) that i was a lesbian for not wanting kids, :S very twisted people lol. sometimes i look after my aunties baby, well not a baby he's 3 now and i just dont know wat to do/say to him, its just like theres a mental block between me and my maernal instinct lol. tbh i would rather be like us and not want children than be like so many girls out there whose onlyambition is to have kids. tbh i think socity brainwashes women into believing they need a family and kids but thats just me lol, i dont wanna be 30 an a virgin either, ill probs just get to a stage where ill think "wat the hell" and do it lol see in england with the nhs its cheaper to give birth to it cause its free lol.
I lol'd at the womb transplant btw. xD Hahaha. No kidding. She could have my womb in a moments notice. Hahaha.
I think, at this stage in my life while I'm in college, I would probably get an abortion since I'm in no position to even deal with a pregnancy. I'm a theatre major, so I have a lot of work, rehearsals, etc and it can get very stressful and tiring. There's no way I'd be able to do that if I was pregnant. I've also done some research on abortion, and I've come to realize abortion really isn't selfish. It's more selfish to have a child you can't provide for. Besides, I think I heard a statistic that most pregnancies actually abort themselves in the first five weeks or so. The woman just gets some bleeding, and things she's started her period. No big deal.
Speaking of pregnant, I jsut found it I need to up my dosage of my birth control, since the one I was on wasn't fully effective for me. I was spotting and crap before I reached my week of inactive pills- so I suppose it's a good thing my boyfriend I didn't have sex, otherwise I'd be flipping out (even if I can't be pregnant... since I started my period, hahaha.) I'm getting my new stuff later today and started tomorrow. Wheee.
I'm glad there's someone out there like me who has similar feelings regarding adoption and pregnancy. Most of my friend understand, but few share my exact sentiments.yea apparently 1in 3 pregnancies end in miscarriage but most dont even relise they were pregnant. theres this whole abortion debate and the whole "prolife" thing but tbh i think its selffish to have a child you dont really want, iv heard of nthe radical anti abortion ppls attackin ppl who have abortions and ppl who give them, i think those ppl should just butt out. to me its up to the woman since its her body, and its her body the babys gunna be living in for a while. the very thort of a little person nin me freaks me out. infact i have issues with the whole childbirth thing to, i swear its not natural, if babies grew in cabbage patches i probs wouldnt have such a problem with them razz oh gawd yes lucky you found out now, i wish there was a way to test if ur pill works each month lol. i was reading my pillm packet the other day an it turns out if yo9u take all your pills proply you are protected from pregnancy in the 7 day "break", but its beyond me why ppl would wanna have sex on their period neutral its kinda icky burning_eyes yea its good to know someone who doesnt think im a complete nutter for not wanting kids lol
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Reply
