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 Posted: Wed May 27, 2009 4:37 pm
This was after i found out my guy was cheating on me... plz comment
I hate my life
everything just hurts
I turn around and someone else socks me in the stomach
I try and try
and when I check my progress
its like I'm in the same spot
I try to open up
and someone rakes my insides with knives
all the failures
each like a chip stacking on my shoulders
until the grief overwhelms me
each rejection like a gash
and just when one heals
another is made and opens the last
so that the burn never goes away
and my heart sears white hot in my chest
-MEM
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Posted: Wed May 27, 2009 6:17 pm
I always feel awkward critiquing these kind of poems. The feeling is there, but its the actual writing that's bothering me. There's been so many poems written about these types of things happening, most of them have ceased to be original.
This is why I sometimes feel that it is better to be emotionally detached from what you are writing, you are better able to stand back back and look at it from an objective point of view. This type of poetry is probably good for getting over things, but it doesn't do much from a literary perspective.
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Posted: Wed May 27, 2009 6:27 pm
I think poetry is supposed to show how you feel, to get people to understand something in someone elses view, its supposed to come from your passion, your felings, even if their not very pretty, and even if it is repeated over, its how that person feels... i am always intertwined with my writing, and i like it that way. im afraid we'll have to disagree.
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Posted: Fri Jun 05, 2009 2:18 pm
Strangely enough, I agree with you both-on one hand, you're not quite consistent in your style, on the other, it conveys your emotion very well. It makes me very sad to think that anyone has to hurt this way, but I know people do. Regardless of this moment or this post, keep your chin up, and I hope you find a man who's not a liar.
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