Welcome to Gaia! ::

I know many people in this guild are for sex as long as the relationship is strong, but I am not one of them. It's not because of my religious views, because that only started this. I believe this not because of the physical damages that a sexual relationship can cause (ie: pregnancy and STDs), but because of the emotional and spiritual damages it can cause. I won't go into the spiritual since I already stated that my religion is not my main reason, but let me delve into something with you.

When you have sex you are giving yourself wholey to that individual. You are sharing your existence with them and are doing something that connects you body and soul. This connection, as you may guess by said description, is too great to make for a simple relationship. You are giving a piece of yourself to the individual, and in my opinion is too great for someone you've been dating. I believe in abstinence until marriage because it is my belief that marriage is the only relationship strong enough to hold such a sharing of individualisms. Plus, the physical damages are something that are strung from this sharing. Pregnancy is not something that is a curse, but a blessing. This is something that should be enjoyed between a married couple that can strive to work together and make the best of the situation. As for the STDs; if your partner has one and you obtain it, then you should be in a relationship strong enough to which you would not care. Well, unless you're an individual like me who MUST have an offspring one day. As long as I'm not sterilized by it then I won't care... sweatdrop

There are my beliefs. Go with them or against them. I don't really care because these are of mine and yours are of your own. 3nodding

@Jarc: I have no qualms with waiting for marriage and I view sex in a very similar way, I just don't believe in the need of a ceremony and legal documentation for two people to be spiritually married. I'm waiting until I'm in at a point in a relationship where we've either discussed marriage or we both intend to be together, marriage just isn't an option at time. Because of the career path I've chose, I'm likely to have a very unstable life for a long time, meaning I may have to wait a while before getting married.

@Mauricios: I disagree with making love vs having sex. They're the same thing, just different names. I would never have sex with someone unless I was in a long term and stable relationship with them and loved them, but I would almost always refer to it as having sex. You can have sex with someone you love, and it can still be an act of love. Besides, even when you're with someone you love, sometimes you just want to get it on. Doesn't mean you don't love them. I also find the phrase "making love" kinda cheesy, so I don't use it for that reason as well.

I guess my problem with Bristol Palin advocating abstinence as the only way is that it seems like a very uninformed statement. She got pregnant because she didn't use protection. I support abstinence, but teaching kids abstinence only is doing them a disservice. Kids are going to have sex regardless, so we should educate them.

I also think her claim about how if people understood the consequences no one would be having sex is a little extreme. I know plenty people fully aware of the consequences who are sexually active. They accept them and are responsible enough to deal with them should they occur. They also make sure to use protection and are educated. I just dislike how Bristol Palin is making it sound like other forms of contraception aren't effective at all. They're not 100%, but when used properly they're pretty close.

Don't get me wrong, I think abstinence is awesome and I fully support people who are abstinent, but it's not the right choice for everyone.

I don't think saying people who aren't abstinent have no self control is fair. I know plenty of sexually active people who waited for a long time before having sex. They waited until they both felt ready and were able to deal with the consequences. Just because someone chooses not to wait for marriage doesn't mean they don't have self control. Thay may have waited for the right partner and the right time. I dont see sex or marriage as the end all be all of a relationship. Marriage also isn't a magical barrier that protects you from STDs, unplanned pregnancies, infidelity, etc.

And yes, abstinence is the only form that's 100% effective. Other contraception is 99% effective when used correctly though. In general, I'm uncomfortable with teenagers having sex because most of them aren't able to deal with the consequences, or like you said they think they'll be together forever- which is stupid. While I think they should be educated that abstinence is the safest way, I also think they should be given other options. Some people simply aren't going to wait, and if that's the case we should be protecting them by educating them. I think absitience should be presented as the best option, but not the only one.

Not everyone who has premarital sex thinks it's a mistake. I know plenty of people who had previous sexual partners they are no longer with and they are perfectly content with their choice. They don't regret their choice and many believe they made the right choice. Premarital sex is not always a poor choice and one that people regret. Generally people only regret it if they had sex before they were ready. As long as you are comfortable with your partner and are willing to understand you might not be together forever, then it should not be a regrettable desicion. As long as you decide to have sex on your schedule and not someone elses, it shouldn't be a problem.

Like I said, marriage is not a magical barrier protecting you from unwanted pregnancy, STDs, infidenlity, etc. Even if you wait for marriage, there's still a possibility of having another sexual partner within your life time by means of divorce, early death of a spouse, or remarriage.

Premarital sex is not inheriently bad. Sex is only bad when used irresponsibly.

I want to comment on the alcohol thing. What about individuals like me who get drunk because their family does? To begin with, I endulge in alcohol like my mother's side of the family does...it's an anti-depressent. It really is, makes all your troubles go away. Even if it's only for an hour or so...it's still better than living with them... Second, my father can't take alcohol, two beers and he's out, and guess whose genes I got. blaugh Interesting fact that his side of the family is exactly like my mother's...he's just an odd-ball among cues I guess.

And yes Mauri, there's always something good going down when I have paragraphs to write! Lol, I'm just inflamed with my own opinions, but I don't believe I'm wise at all...I just like giving them! Anyways, I'd have to side with Freelance on this subject. Yes, sex is nothing more than a desire and an animal instinct, but I view it as always being a loving moment. Or at least it should be... Two people should not have sex unless they are willing to use it to prove just how much they love one and another. Yet more and more we are seeing individuals give themselves to people they don't even know...just because they liked how they looked. Maybe it's more of a procreation instict more of a natural responce. Though that doesn't explain my supervisor, who doesn't want kids and yet wants to ******** just about anything that moves...

Truth to it all, the human race has always been motioning towards a more loving environment. Back in the Shakespearian era there would be hookers in Church giving themselves to any paying customer...DURING CHURCH... And yet we have his plays such as Romeo and Juliet. It wasn't until the ninteenth and twentieth centuries that love actually became a realistic motion. People weren't just procreating or following infactuation and marrying because that individual was something they could live with. They were marrying because they were actually in love. But it soon gave way, because a sexual revolution was began. Now society is stuck between love and sex, with nowhere to go but forward. No up or down, but both into whatever direction this all really takes us. All we can really do is sit back and watch. I'll go get the popcorn!

That's the thing... people complain about the divorce rate going up, and I don't think the divorce rate is going up because there are more unhappy marriages. I think it's going up because divorce has become more acceptable and women are now able to support themselves. Divorce used to be taboo, and women would be forced to live on the street, with no means of income if they weren't married. It's simply a different world view and we need to adapt to it.

I think being open about sex and sexuality is important. Parents who are more open about it are more likely to have their children come to them if they begin having sex and are able to inform them and help them take the necessary precautions. Treating sex as a taboo only hinders the understanding of it, and can lead to negative outcomes.

Since you said no offense I won't take any. For your information I did not even know until recently that my family drinks as much as they do. My uncles don't make it obvious, they don't allow the kids to see they have alcohol, and they try to keep their drunkeness from view. Since it takes a bit for them to get drunk it's pretty easy for them. As for my mother, she only did it to relax. Or in order to enjoy herself whenever the whole family was out. She didn't do it to forget her troubles, my uncles and aunts did. Plus, my mother lost one and a half kidneys to cancer, so she hasn't been able to drink for years now.