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Love Writing? Well this the place to come! Here I have my own stories running, and also offer critique to aspiring writers! 

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Iron Hands

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Onyx alchemist3

Greedy Genius

PostPosted: Sun May 31, 2009 6:33 pm


A very short story I had to write for english class.

The sunlight slid it’s way through the bars of the cell, illuminating a tear that fell from the child’s eye. The boy reached his battered hands up to the light feeling the warmth it gave him and wanting more. Slowly he climbed the wall using the stones to pull himself up He felt the beams on his head and knew he was there, but before he could look outside the iron hands on his ankles pulled him down and he knew they would never let him go. He released his hold on the wall and came crashing down back to the familiar feeling of the icy floor on his face. He stayed there with the only thing he could feel, the cold embrace of the iron hands.
PostPosted: Mon Jun 01, 2009 5:28 pm


nice intro, i see the occasional grammatical error, a period or so is missing, and you use 'new' instead of 'knew'

Oerba Dia Vanira
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Onyx alchemist3

Greedy Genius

PostPosted: Mon Jun 01, 2009 5:39 pm


Thanks, I don't always notice the errors I make.
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