The Decorum of Lady Isabelle
I must say, not being taken seriously was an entirely new experience...
I must say, not being taken seriously was an entirely new experience...
It was the combination of stress and the sheer irony of the situation that made me laugh when I learned of Khira's death. I knew two things from the second my lips parted; that Dominic would never forgive me for my initial reaction, and that I wouldn't be able to stop for several minutes.
I cannot imagine a less convenient time for my defining restraint to crack.
A servant announced the pair as they entered my solar. I always thought it was pointless to use titles among family, it gave the whole affair a stink of intrigue that any reprieve from was always welcome. Nonetheless, this was my first time meeting my cousin's companion, and formality is only to be expected in strangers.
"Lord Dominic the Swift of the Western Forests, and his companion Khira." There was the slightest pause before Khira's name, which amused me. A herald as high-ranking as he simply wasn't used to introducing someone who had no title. He recovered so quickly that I doubted that she herself noticed, though she did appear somewhat distracted by her surroundings.
One does not live to maturity in my position without learning how to measure a person fairly quickly, and the unsure placement of her feet, her darting but unblinking eyes, and how she was dressed suggested that, aside from my cousin, she was not used to being in the company of the gentry.
I do not believe that, if we had planned and conferred on the subject for months, the personal appearances of myself and Khira could have been more different from one another.
I was dressed in a pale slate-colored gown made of silk crepe. I was aware that a great deal of attention had been put into the embroidery at the neck and cuffs, and how it matched the stiff vest and slippers, but I was no more present in the selection of it than it's making. The collar of the vest was high, stiff and scalloped in a way which looked bizarre until it became apparent it was the only way I could move my head at all. I barely had time to admire the embroideries' resemblance to grisaille before my official duties begun. My hair was drawn up in a series of tight but complex knots, silver pins and chains stringing them together. The blackness of it's hue was very impressive next to the silver and the skin which had not spent more than five minutes in sunlight since I was a child. As there was no state occasion today, the dressing of my hair and application of cosmetics to my face finished before the herald informed me of what had transpired while I slept.
Some days I rather fancied they raced each other.
I was pleased with my appearance, not as a matter of vanity but appreciation of how very well the servants employed in arranging it had done their job. It was elegant, but stark and much more beautiful like a painting than a woman.
This was even more pronounced on Khira's enterence.
She was muscular. Not unfemininely so, but muscular. I rather wish I wasn't able to tell quite how muscular she was. It's not that she had much skin exposed. Well, not her own. If you counted the deerskin, she had nothing but skin exposed.
But the portion of her anatomy that was exposed rather drew my eye. The hard bodice might have protected her abdomen, but it seemed to do more shaping than anything else. I blinked and tried not to stare. But the deerskin so very nearly matched her own, not only in tone but in travel-stained dustiness. It was nearly impressive.
Her hair was loose and the sun had had it's way with it as much as her skin. There was a wave to her hair that suggested she normally wore it braided out of the way, but had let it down very recently. It was not that she looked like a strumpet that annoyed me, but the fact that doing so was her attempt at formal attire. Or battle armor. I wasn't really sure, and the fact I couldn't tell soured me further. She carried no helmet, but there were no less than three knives strapped down her legs and high boots, and a rather large sword across her back. I saw no shield, or evidence she normally carried one.
Nor was there the arms of her family anywhere on her person. She was terribly out of place, and her expression suggested she did not know how out of place she was.
If she turned on me in this chamber, there was a possibility that she might get to me before my guard got to her, as a woman does not become a warrior in these lands if she cannot stop men from laughing at her. From where she walked beside Dominic, it was apparent that she was fond of him, but any loyalty she bore him was not that of a vassal, but of an equal. As she bore so mark of clan, there was no possibility she was a warlord, and therefore that equality was either personal or completely imagined. Perhaps they were lovers. I doubted it somewhat, as Dominic would know enough to force a lover to make a good impression on his family whether she wanted to or not. But do not be mistaken, Khira was a very lovely woman. Perhaps lovely does not have the correct connotation. It was in her sure but canted steps. The fact she was physically a powerful woman but of even lower rank than my tiring maid and comically unaware of the fact that would make a man in my position wonder what it would be like for her to overpower them on a personal level. It reminded me why so many primitive goddesses encompass war and the sensual.
As for Dominic, he and I much resembled each other, pale faces with pointed features and straight black hair. His tiring servants were as much to be admired as mine, the craftsmanship on the dove gray velvet cloak most impressive. The silverwork tree-of-life across his back was very subtle. His travels had made his complexion somewhat less porcelain than my own, but it seems hardly worth mentioning as I am unnaturally fair. The fact that they had braided his hair away from his temples and around his circlet to keep it in place amused me, it seemed not even the servants would forget when he, as a lad, turned his head so fast it flew off entirely.
Though this was a strictly informal meeting, the smile I gave my favorite cousin was small and calculated. Do not be mistaken, I was indeed happy to see him, and he knew me well enough to recognize it.
Dominic took a knee briefly before me, and Khira followed suite in a somewhat jerky fashion that could either have been her being nervous or Dominic pulling her down by the leg of her pants. I stood and spread my arms.
"Lord Dominic. Come forward and embrace me, cousin, it has been too long." He stepped forward and we quickly folded arms around each other. As pleased as I was to see him, and as brief as our contact was, I had the time to open my eyes and see his companion's expression.
I made a note of the fact her strange appearance may have been the result of coming from a distant land were cousins do not hug. But I hardly had time to register this before we parted and I resumed my seat, the falling of my hand gracefully indicating a nearby settee for my guests. In the same motion, my ankles and hands folded.
Dominic took a seat first, Khira following again in her gaiting, awkward fashion. She sat slumped forward, with her knees far apart and her hands on the chair. Dominic leaned onto the arm of the settee and crossed his legs and arms.
I raised my arm to the servant with the wine, and both he and a second one came forward. The second servant set a small, thin-legged table between my chair and my guests, then resumed his place at the wall.
"You certainly have a great deal of slaves, Isabelle." Khira commented. I saw the man with the wine stumble as he took his place.
"I try to find work for those who want it." I asked calmly. I would clear this up without directly insulting her. "Many of the people in my lands want to work as close to me as possible, as the protection and the payment I can offer increases sharply the higher in the castle they are employed." I was sure that even Khira could feel everyone around her relaxing at that. Slavery only existed in these lands as a temporary state of debtors and criminals, and even they were treated as servants who's payment simply was given to someone other than themselves. Nonetheless, it was an important distinction, and insulting my vassals like that, even inadvertently, had further soured her in my eyes. I came to the conclusion that there was only two ways she could have made two gaffs such as this in short amount of time.
Either she had never been in any sort of social situation higher than eating dinner with her own family and beyond that was choosing her words very poorly that day, or was trying to annoy me. Either way, the proper reaction would be to treat her as if the first were true. These thoughts carried the careful pause in which I turned down my eyes to sip my wine, and the servants relaxed.
"How are you sure none of them will try and poison your wine, then?" she asked. Even the bodyguards tensed at this. I resolved to change the subject as soon as I calmed my servants.
"Because they have nothing to gain from it. I will of course not speak ill of those next in line," I smiled to Dominic at this, "But at the moment, all government positions in the highest levels are filled by those most suited to them. In removing one, then a much-needed general or chatelaine will be removed from their occupation."
"You're not telling me everyone agrees about who should be doing what?" Khira asked.
"No," Dominic smirked, "It wouldn't be politics if they agreed. But they don't agree on who could do it better, or what this imaginary person would be doing differently in the first place."
"And they always do have me to convince them that they really do agree after all." I pointed out with a smile. Dominic laughed at this bizarre summary of my official duties. Khira seemed less amused.
"Ah, but there is little for me to report to you, my cousin, since little has changed since last you visited. Perhaps you have something to share?"
"Do you mean politically or personally?"
"Whichever one you have the most interest in discussing, Dominic."
"Oh, you would say that, wouldn't you?" he laughed. I smiled slightly, but his companion looked confused.
"Isabelle," he chided to Khira, "Is perhaps the most well-bred woman I have ever met."
"What does that mean?" Khira asked, rolling her tongue over her teeth in a way that could have been interpreted as either seductive of ill-mannered. As what it meant was that I knew when what I was thinking was not appropriate to be said aloud, I did not answer. There was a slight pause, then Khira spoke.
"Do you fight?"
"No, I do not." I replied smoothly.
"But I understand you and Dominic are old friends-"
"Cousins." he corrected.
"-surely he could teach you some self-defense-"
"Madam, you misunderstand me." I interrupted. I normally let people finish their thoughts, but I fancied Dominic would appreciate it if I didn't let his friend rail too long on a perceived deficiency, and make herself look more foolish than she needed. "I said that I did not fight. Not that I hadn't been trained."
Khira's jaw sagged as she attempted to make sense of what I had said. It was a sorry sight indeed.
"I have not been trained in nearly the depth my cousin has, it is customary for the gentry to have schooling on the subject." She laughed dryly.
"There was only time for the most rudimentary combat training in my tutors, and quite frankly the amount I have had seems impractical, and rather an insult to my family's marvelous guard." I gestured to the soldiers along the walls.
"I wish I was cloistered." she muttered to Dominic, who did not seem to notice, but rather gestured to a nearby servant with a decanter of wine, who refilled his goblet immediately. Dominic always lacked the noble subtlety I had spent my life perfecting, which was part of why he was so suited to working among the people and I orchestrating those who did.
I must say, not being taken seriously was an entirely new experience and I hadn't the faintest idea how to react to it; and as such I did not react at all.
"Still, you never know when you'll be attacked. Don't you feel bad, depending on men to protect you?"
"Not at all. The very men who protect me physically are themselves protected by my rank and power. It is a trade of services that pleases both parties immensely."
"I'd never allow myself to need protection. It is weak."
"That is different. You are a bounty hunter and I am a lady. We were given different training-" At this, Khira practically threw herself across the room at me, shrieking.
"How dare you suggest I am not a lady!?"
"Khira, dear-" Dominic warned, taking his companion's arm and drawing her back. I kept my face impassive, which for the first time in years took conscious effort.
" 'Lady' is the legal term for my occupation." I answered levelly. "I am the highest-ranking female in this manor. All who live here are under my protection, they serve me."
"Your protection?" she spat. "You just said you were useless in a real fight!"
"Khira, she is their leader." Dominic soothed.
"There is an association with the word and a certain manner of behavior," I continued, "Which those who are not the gentry adopt be be more pleasant. I believe that this meaning may have confused you." I turned my eyes to hers.
"No, please sit so we may continue our conversation."
"You're so repressed." she hissed darkly.
"No, my dear." I replied curtly. "I'm restrained. There is a difference."
"Khira, please, my cousin never meant to offend-"
"Don't you start on me, Dominic!"
"That is quite enough." I interjected sharply. "Your behavior has insulted me, my cousin, my vassals and yourself." I closed my eyes, opened them again, and began in a calmer tone.
"Khira-"
"You can look down on me the day you've actually done any work whatsoever." she snarled, drawing herself to her full height. I blinked. It would seem that she had some prejudice against rulers. Perhaps she had been born in lands ruled by a despotic tyrant. I couldn't see what I could do about it. Not only did I not know anything about them, even any sign they existed, they rarely lasted a full generation. A government needs to be at least some level of mediocre to last.
"Khira, please." Dominic begged. "Just... stop. I wanted to talk to my cousin."
"She has you gripped in her silver talons!" she spat.
I looked down. My fingernails had been argented. I had no memory of this, I must have been quite absorbed by the discussion at the time. It was true that they had grown to a length that one cannot keep if one does things other than talk and press seals to scrolls. They might even get in the way if I had to sign rather than press my seal. I hadn't really thought of them as talons before, but another sign of my status, like my alabaster skin.
Being pleasing to the ear and eye while orchestrating the politics of a realm of considerable size was not an easy chore. The suggestion that it was surprised me. I had been taken by surprise twice in the last few moments. This was very unusual, and I will admit that I took the fact I thought the woman was boorish into account in how I lead the conversation. I did want to be rid of her as soon as possible, I did want to speak with my cousin further. She was making it difficult.
"Would you like to collect yourself while I and Dominic converse?" I suggested. "You seem to be considerable more upset than the situation warrants, and in your heated state you may say something which you may regret."
"Stop condescending to me like this!"
"I wasn't aware that I was." I answered stiffly. She cried out, and my guard drew forward.
"Careful, swordswoman." I murmured. "This is a family conversation, not a tavern brawl." Dominic touched her arm and drew her to her seat.
"And I'm sure all of us have seen family affairs that resemble brawls much closer than this one does." he joked. Here eyes flashed at him. I could see now that she thought the two of us were snapping at each other like bitches fighting for dominance. This was ridiculous.
"You just don't think I act like a proper woman!"
"I believe you have misunderstood the situation, Khira." I said flatly. "I am treating you like a warlord and you are acting like a tavern drunk. And you are treating me as a fellow woman rather than master of this keep. Our relationship is professional and our genders are irrelevant. I cannot allow anyone to speak to me in this manner. Now silence yourself or I will be forced to aid you in it." She drew back in disgust at my threat.
"I must retain power in my own keep, Khira. Please understand." I finished. Dominic grasped her wrist and pulled her down onto the seat, eyes pleading her to be silent. I had toyed with her far too long, attempting to route out the source of her anger, and in such I may have made a lasting enemy in what was at very least a skilled fighter.
"Dominic," I suggested politely, "I understand this Khira is proud of her skills as a rider. Has she yet been shown to the stables?"
I didn't need to move or even blink. The servants drew forward and cleared our wine, and showed the other woman away.
My cousin's visit was cut somewhat short by some urgent business with bandits at the edge of my lands, which I could not help but feel was somewhat spurred on by the idea of keeping myself and Khira as separate as possible. I did not think on her again after they had left for nearly three years. I hadn't the time. Our neighbors to the south had some confusion about trading routes and the taxation of goods that traveled on them. Even if they were being taken during darkest night, through swamps and graveyards, and even if they were just bags of weeds which just happened to be a rather expensive dye two kingdoms over.
Nevertheless, when the conflict was over, business drew Dominic near again. He was often sent by our uncle to quell small disputes across our family's lands. It was after one such of these occasions that my keep was near enough to his travels to offer him refuge, and I welcomed him again with open arms.
Again, he joined me in my solar, but his mood was somewhat different, and he brought no companion.
"I notice the swordswoman who accompanied you last time has not joined you. I hope that I have not made her feel unwelcome."
"She was stabbed." Dominic shuddered. "Through that one c***k in her armor." My hand darted to my mouth.
"Surely not the armor she wore when I met her, Dominic?"
"The very same." I stood perfectly still for a moment, the image of a blade rending into Khira's exposed breast and the heart beyond freezing me in place. I had no control over myself. The shock, and my own reaction to the shock, rocked me beyond my senses, and I dissolved into high-pitched laughter.
I loved Dominic more than any individual I had ever known, though I betrayed this as little as any other emotion. I suppose I still do, but it's hard to judge how much you love someone you have not spoken to in five years, particularly when the last words that passed between you were he condemning you as heartless.
Perhaps I am heartless, for I haven't yet found time to mourn his loss as a friend. My keep and lands are still as diverse as they ever are, and I now more than ever I find myself with no time to sit with comrades.
All that remains of me is my dignity and decorum.
