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 Posted: Mon Oct 12, 2009 7:09 pm
Name: Yulu
Age: 18 turns
Gender: Female
Sexual Orientation: Asexual
Craft: Healercraft ( Focus on Dragonhealing and/or Trauma )
Rank: Sr. Apprentice / Candidate
History: A result of a wham-bam-thank you ma'am flight, Yulu was born to a blue dragonrider and a lower caverns woman. Horrified that she had been seduced by the lifestyle of moral decay in the Weyr the woman immediately sent her child to live back with her family in the place of her birth, Telgar Hold, her reasoning to protect her child from both the lifestyle and from the woman of loose morals she had become. She forbade her family from telling the child anything about her, to prevent Yulu from seeking her out when she grew older and more curious. Her young brother stepped forth and offered to raise the baby as his own, and she swiftly placed Yulu into his care without a second thought.
This, of course, was a mistake to do. He didn't mind raising a child that had come out of wedlock, even one that did not belong to him. The mistake was that the man didn't want a daughter, he wanted a son, and now he was stuck.
Naturally following the course of events of a man not wanting a girl, Yulu was brought up to be a boy in every sense of the word. She would walk like a boy, talk like a boy, and learn to throw punches at people who called her a girl. Any girlish habits she may have developed at an early age were quickly scrubbed away from her personality via harsh words and occasionally actions by her father, leaving her confused, embittered, and possessing a gender complex that would render her incapable of understanding the appeal of others. By the time she reached puberty and could no longer be considered a 'son', Yulu's father had given up on her from then on.
Raised to follow in her father's, a Journeyman healer, footsteps and become a Healer for both Riders and Dragons Yulu didn't get much choice in what she wanted to do in her early turns. Always accompanying her father on trips about the Hold and Weyrs she was exposed to the way of a Healer early on and was slowly expected to memorize everything she had been shown. At first she possessed an aversion to the Craft (what kid enjoys blood that much?!), though through repeated incidents she slowly opened up and began to enjoy helping her father.
Expressing an interest to further her studies (and to get away from home for as long as possible) Yulu requested to be sent to the Healer Hall to progress and possibly become an official and recognized Apprentice or Journeyman. Her father was more than happy to allow her to go, figuring she might actually be useful to someone out there.
While at the hall she was mocked for her manner of speaking, mostly by girls/guys who found her too mannish for their tastes, though Yulu quickly proved she took dung from no one. Snide remarks only served to thicken her skin and increase her drive to become more than an Apprentice, as Yulu's motto was that she had not come to the hall to make friends - she came to learn.
Yulu had just passed her eighteenth turn when Search came and she was selected. Though advancing quite well in the field of Healing the young woman gave up her craft at a chance to become a rider. Perhaps if one day she returned to the hold on the back of a mighty dragon her father would finally eat his words about how useless she has been all her life.
Appearance: Yulu is not girlie, get that out of your mind. Girls would never dress or look the way she does, so hopefully you won't be dumb enough to mistake her as a pretty princess the first time you meet or else you'll be getting a nice fist to the face.
Her hair is short, cropped close to her head, and riddled with loose curls. The shade is a dark brown, nearly black, which Yulu finds pretty good since she can not wash her hair for a few days and no one notice the difference. When it is humid or rainy her hair takes on a mind of its own and seems to puff out, giving the young woman something of a large puffball atop her head. She has almond brown eyes. Yulu's father has told her that she greatly resembles her mother, as he himself is of a fairer complexion with light hair and blue eyes.
Yulu is not tall nor is she short, settling in at about 5' 4.5" (she says 5' 5", don't question her!) and she maintains a decent weight that leaves her looking filled instead of an hourglass figure. Her skin tone is a healthy shade of flesh, marred only here and there with childhood scars (from adventures, she says, nothing more).
Her fingers are usually hued red from working with the different salves that numb/shrivel the flesh, so she keeps her fingers wrapped in bandages from the base of the finger to to tip unless she is working. Clothing style tends to lean towards the male spectrum of outfits with breeches and boots, a loose shirt more or less her top of choice. Yulu does bind down her chest, mostly out of habit from her childhood, though she finds it also helps her while working if she can carry more without worry.
Personality: Yulu is willing to lend a hand when asked or needed because she likes to feel useful, though more often than not she's not doing it out of charity. If there is a personal gain to be gotten from assisting others the young woman usually finds that angle and uses it, though her actions towards people she may consider friends often may make others question her methods. She seems to be more willing to help them, though Yulu will actually not go out of her way to get emotionally or physically involved and puts in only a little more effort than with others.
Quite mannish in her actions and words, though not enough to be considered butch, Yulu is more comfortable acting as a guy and makes no attempts to display any form of femininity in her daily routine. She is friendly and outgoing, speaking to everyone in the Weyr regardless of their status, and has an air about her that proclaims she doesn't care if anyone doesn't feel the same way in regards to her. "Regret" is not a word that exists in her vocabulary, as Yulu lives her life each day the way she wants to without any worry or strife, and she seems rather content to continue doing so.
Yulu can handle the verbal snipes that come her way without even flinching, though she refuses to allow others to have their honor tarnished. While she views both male and female riders equal in the Weyr she often stands up more for the females, as she expects to one day join their ranks and people need to know their place. Yulu's words are bitter and full of spite despite being honey coated. She possess a refined talent of being able to talk down to people or actually insult them to their face, if they're not paying too close of attention, and if she doesn't like someone they'll quickly find out. She is not above thoughts of vengeance either, though she has yet to actually act on any of her grumbling. Yulu seems to have a pet-peeve about manners but to what degree is unknown.
She's pretty insecure despite being a heavy talker and walker, her self-esteem rather low from her childhood, though she'll be sharded before she lets anyone find out. To compensate for this she often repeats her successes out loud, multiple times, in order to boost her ego. Yulu seems to suffer from emotional detachment towards others, never allowing herself to get too close despite always willing to help out. The fact that she is a female and her failures around the Hall and the Weyr can often be attributed to being a woman really irks her, usually souring her mood until she either injures herself trying to complete the task or gets it done without any help. Also knowing that being at the Hall and the passing turns have made her more feminine both disgusts and terrifies Yulu, as she feels that showing such actions is a sign of weakness and failure. She is currently trying to man up more, though it's not working.
Other:
- Yulu refers to herself as a guy in her speech ( ae: I'm a meat and potatoes kinda guy . . . )
- Her rank of Sr. Apprentice could be attributed to all her early learning with her father, allowing her to climb a small rank at the Healer Hall
- Yulu is unaware that the man who raised her is not her father, mainly because she is too afraid to ask without the backlash that may come with it. She believes her mother has passed away for unknown reasons
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Posted: Tue Oct 13, 2009 6:15 pm
A very interesting character and background! You're also good on the Sr. Apprentice bit. Just a couple of things that I'll need you to fix before I can accept her:
- If a Flight happened at the Hold – which would be extremely, extremely rare and I don't think it's ever happened before since riders usually know when their greens are ready to Rise – it is more probably that this girl's mother would slept with the rider of the dragon who caught her green. And even if she did sleep with a Holder, the trip Between back to the Weyr would kill the baby. Greenrider mothers are very rare because the riders go Between so often to travel.
- I can't imagine fist fighting would go over well in any Craft, but especially in Healer's craft. If she was really shown to be that aggressive, she would have been sent home, since Healers can't go around hitting people even as apprentices. She also wouldn't have left the Hall or been allowed to specialize officially until she was a journeywoman. If she was Searched, she would have been Searched from the Hall rather than moved around when she was just apprentice.
- Your personality, while the length is definitely awesome, is really hard to understand. You've almost written yourself in circles by giving a character a personality trait and then writing about all the exceptions to the rule. For example, if you say she's "Willing to lend and a hand and help out whenever she'd needed or wanted" you don't need to continue on to tell me that it's only sometimes that she helps but not on Tuesday or when her friend's cat is stuck up in a tree in Florida, you know? It makes it so complicated that people forget about the trait you're trying to give her. Just simplify.
I'd also like to see more relation between her treatment as a child to make her into a boy. You've mentioned that it's given her self esteem issues, but has it changed the way she approaches situations? Does she try to be overly masculine to compensate for her femininity? Is she too forward because she needs people to acknowledge her as a boy? Things like that. Essentially, how does being a girl but considering herself a boy played a role in shaping her into the person she is now.
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Posted: Tue Oct 13, 2009 9:09 pm
Updated! New bits are in bold, please tell me if this works!
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Posted: Wed Oct 14, 2009 4:07 pm
Better! Her history looks good!
Just a few more things for her personality and she should be good for approval. While length is always a good thing, sometimes personalities that are too long can leave people lost and end up telling them very little about your character. What I'm going to ask you to is try and simplify her personality even more than you already have.
For example, the first two paragraphs can easily become: Yulu likes to make herself useful, and she does so by lending a hand whenever someone wants or needs one. This is not out of good will, but rather in hopes of personal gain. However, if she considers someone a friend, she may put a little heart into it. A very little, since she doesn't like getting emotionally involved with other people.
A good way to simplify is to group characteristics that are close to one another into one paragraph. That way, you can keep the idea flow going. I've made a list of all the characteristics I assigned her from reading the personality you wrote. What I'm going to do below is do a mock grouping of them to show you what I mean by grouping. You by no means have to do it like this, it's merely to help point you in the right direction:
First Paragraph: At First Glance, Who is She?
- Essentially, you'd talk about what kind of person she projects to people when she first meets them; you may also include how she deals with her friends or people close to her
- Friendly and outgoing
- Speaks to anyone of any rank
- Acts boyish, though not like a manly man
- A little bit of a devil may care kind of attitude; she doesn't seem to care what people think about her
- Doesn't back down/apologize and regrets nothing
Second Paragraph: When the Going Gets Tough
- Life is not all butterflies and sunshine, so what does she do when people step into her world?
- Takes verbal abuse without flinching
- Refuses to allow other people to be verbally abused (favours female riders)
- Pet peeve about manners
- Makes her dislike known plainly
- Bitter, venemous
- Vengeful
Third Paragraph: Deep Down
- Traits that may not be obvious, or may never be known to anyone but the RPer because they're often driving characteristics
- Doesn't get emotionally involved with others
- May offer her help freely, but there is always a distance
- Low self-esteem; needs to remind herself out loud that she's not a failure
- Learning to become more feminine because of her time at the Hall
- Detests having her weaknesses attributed to her being a girl
Hopefully that helps! If you have any further questions, feel free to PM me again and I'd be happy to help you. <3
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Posted: Thu Oct 15, 2009 9:28 pm
UPDATED! Once again, changes are in bold
I tried to follow your format, I hope that it was okay to do so ( it really helped ! )
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