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 Posted: Sun Oct 18, 2009 7:01 pm
Tired of breeder bingo? Get some premade answers here!
When are you going to have kids?
--When I run out of better things to do.
--When are you going to stop being so nosy?
--Oh I'm too busy practicing. Maybe when I prefect my technique.
--When are you going to lose weight?
--When they come potty trained.
--When minivans are sexy, childcare is free and they come with on/off switches.
Why don't you have kids?
--I haven't run out of better things to do yet.
--Why aren't you in law school? Oh, you don't want to be a lawyer? Well, I don't want to be a parent.
--Because I'm still perfecting my technique.
--Why don't you have manners?
--Because I prefer to have a life.
It's different when they're your own!
--Yea, you can't give them back!
--Yeah, its WORSE!
My/Your child grow up to cure cancer!
--It's more likely it would end up in jail!
--You know it’s more likely that it’ll die because of cancer than cure it, right?
--Why don't you cure cancer instead of living vicariously through your own kid?
You were a kid once, too!
--So what's your point? (Keep repeating this no matter what excuse they make until they realize they have no point)
--And I grew out of that stage, too.
--Yeah, and I didn't like kids then, either!
--So were you, but that's not reason for your to continue acting like one.
Don't you want to hear the pitter patter of little feet?
--No.
--If I wanted to hear that, I'd put booties on my dog/cat.
--I do hear the pitter patter of little feet - dog/cat feet!
--No. I prefer moaning, screaming and furniture breaking.
Who will take care of you when you are old?
--My pension plan that I've been investing in since I was 21.
--The same people who will take care of you -- nursing home attendants.
--My 20-something lover.
Why'd you get married if you didn't want kids?
--For the same reason people get divorced -- because they can!
--Because I love my spouse and see them as more than a reproductive organ.
The only reason to get married is to have children!
--You do realize that 50% of marriages end in divorce, right? Perhaps kids are the reason people get divorced, too.
Some day you'll grow up and change your mind.
--No, I'm perfectly happy with the one I have now.
--Yea, that'll happen about the same time you grow up and change your mind, too!
--And someday you'll get your head out of your a**. Good luck with that.
--And 2 seconds later I’ll change my mind again and have the parasite aborted.
--Well, I haven’t changed my mind for the last XX years, so it doesn't look like I'm going to now.
You’ll regret not having them. (or “I know someone who didn’t have kids and regretted it when they got older.”)
--I rather regret not having children than regret having them.
--And maybe you’ll regret having them!
--Oh, really? You can see the future now?
It's all worth it!
--Maybe for you it was all worth it, but I pass.
--Good! Then I'll never have to listen to you complain about your kids or parenting responsibilities again!
End of part 1.
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Posted: Sun Oct 18, 2009 7:05 pm
Part 2. If everyone thought the way you did, the population would die out!
--Do you have any idea how many people there are on the planet right now?
--You do realize that after you die, it doesn't really matter, so if there are no people left, it really doesn't affect you, right?
--How is this a bad thing?
--And?
If your mom felt like you do, you wouldn't be here!
--No, but then you'd be arguing with her instead.
--Right now I'm kinda wishing YOUR mom had felt like I do.
--And I wouldn't have known the difference.
It's the most important job in the world!
--Then why aren't you out doing it?
--What about the guy who makes your disposable diapers and gigantic strollers -- you couldn't survive a day without him!
My kids are the best thing that ever happened to me.
--Wow, that's a sad commentary on your life.
--Gee, it's too bad you wasted all those years of your life being a child yourself since those years were just a waste of time until you got to your REAL purpose in life.
--You're not giving yourself much credit.
--Newsflash: Your kids are PEOPLE, not things.
You're being selfish!
--Oh, because creating a human being to amuse yourself ISN'T selfish.
--How is not creating a child who won't be neglected selfish?
--I don't know, you're the one neglecting your kids while you waste time arguing with me. Some might argue that any time away from your kids is "selfish".
--And?
Children are the future!!
--Well, since most people seem to agree the future's ********, why put them through the agony?
--That's a scary thought, since most of them are idiots who can't learn spelling or grammar.
--Thank you, Whitney Houston!
Nothing is better than 'new baby' smell!
--You mean the smell of vomit, urine, and feces?!
--You really need to get out more.
--Really? Let's see...umm...oh yeah...great, spontaneous sex that lasts for hours!
When you find the right person, you'll want to have their children (or "If you love your spouse, you'll want their babies").
--If that person is truly the right one for me, he/she will not want children either!
If you only have two, you’re only replacing you and your spouse. So you’re not contributing to overpopulation.
--Did you fail basic math? 2+2=4
Well, accidents happen.
--I always keep a coat hanger nearby, just in case.
--No, it’s called BIRTH CONTROL!
--I’m so glad to be sterilized.
--That's why I only take it up the a**.
Credits: Happily Childfree and The Childfree Life. Some answers by me xd
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Posted: Mon Oct 19, 2009 2:55 am
I LOVE the answers!! biggrin
Ehh, "Don't you want to hear the pitter patter of little feet?" How can anyone produce such a dumb question? This doesn't make any sense to me eek Really if this is someone's reason they'll be just fine having a cat.
and new baby smell? Ewwwwwwwwwwwwww gonk I don't mind children that are older than 3-4 and I even like some of them; but what absolutely creeps me out is pregnancy, birth and babies.
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Posted: Mon Oct 19, 2009 7:19 am
Ha ha canned answers, hmmm I will have to come up with some of those on my own... well more lets see...
My kids are the Best thing that ever happened to me:
We all lie to ourselves. It makes the mistakes we make seem like a good idea.
You're Being Selfish
At least I am willing to admit that fact.
Well Accidents Happen
Aww damn too bad your kids weren't around to hear that.
Do people REALLY ask the "Why'd you get married if you don't want kids" question? Seriously, anyway my answer to that is "It is the trendy thing to do. After all wedding planners have to make a living."
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Posted: Mon Oct 19, 2009 3:53 pm
ROFL "new baby" smell..I'd rather huff the fumes of rotting dead meat.
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Posted: Tue Oct 20, 2009 6:49 am
Indeed at least those fumes might give you some kind of chemical intoxication.
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Posted: Wed Oct 21, 2009 6:15 pm
XenoReiji Indeed at least those fumes might give you some kind of chemical intoxication. Well if we wanna go for that we could try paint thinner lol
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Posted: Thu Oct 22, 2009 5:09 am
Lmfao - thank you!!! I needed a laugh and a boost biggrin
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Posted: Fri Oct 23, 2009 6:55 am
The_Thread _Reaper Well if we wanna go for that we could try paint thinner lol Now that I think about it is there really a difference between rotting meat and babies?
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Posted: Fri Oct 23, 2009 11:33 am
XenoReiji The_Thread _Reaper Well if we wanna go for that we could try paint thinner lol Now that I think about it is there really a difference between rotting meat and babies? Hmm..good point...
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Posted: Mon Oct 26, 2009 9:54 am
The_Thread _Reaper XenoReiji The_Thread _Reaper Well if we wanna go for that we could try paint thinner lol Now that I think about it is there really a difference between rotting meat and babies? Hmm..good point... Wait is it legal to eat babies I forget.
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Posted: Sat Oct 31, 2009 6:01 pm
ladybast You're being selfish!--And? ;D Damn straight. Hahaha. (It's so funny the people who complain about people being selfish because it is so blatant that they are just whining because that means when you serve your own wants and needs that you aren't serving theirs for them. Yet they complain like you're the one with a lot of nerve in your motives.) Last one was really funny too, "Good thing I only take it up the a**." Lol. Good lists indeed. I'm never getting married, but I'd like somebody to answer that "then why did you get married?" question with "I did it for the cake."
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Posted: Mon Nov 02, 2009 6:34 am
ha ha indeed, you could mention how the baker would not make the cake for you without wedding plans. ninja You spouse will be so very surprised when they learn they were just used for big cake.
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Posted: Mon Nov 02, 2009 11:52 pm
I could imagine the response to that being something alone the lines of, " . . . so that's why you were so insistent on getting to pick out what you wanted the cake to be like exactly."
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Posted: Wed Nov 04, 2009 10:02 am
Exactly, and then the annulment papers would make more sense xp
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