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| What do you think of my story so far? |
| I like it. As a matter of fact, i'll post and give you a few hints or compliments. |
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| I'm not sure, I'll either post or private message you to tell you what I think. |
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| I might check it out. |
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| I don't like this at all. |
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| I don't know, i'm not into this type of literature. |
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| It's okay. |
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| I have a Fiction Press account. ((I do too...but you still didn't answer. T.T)) |
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| Total Votes : 3 |
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Black Bloody Roses Captain
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 Posted: Sun Dec 18, 2005 12:02 pm
PLEASE READ AND GIVE ME YOUR HONEST OPINON!!! 1. Prologue2. Red Roses Mean Danger?3. Roses in Full Blossom
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Posted: Sun Dec 18, 2005 12:05 pm
[ Message temporarily off-line ]
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Black Bloody Roses Captain
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Black Bloody Roses Captain
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Posted: Sun Dec 18, 2005 12:07 pm
Red Roses Mean Danger? Nana woke the sleeping beauty with gentle care, calling her name softly every so often. Blista groaned and flipped over a few times trying to escape Nana's call. When she found that she could ignore it no longer, her head popped from beneath the sheets and she gave Nana a wide smile. Nana chuckled and embraced the green haired beauty. After a few moments, Blista wiggled from Nana's hold and rolled over to the other side of the bed, promptly falling asleep once more.
Nana proceeded to wake her up, and three times after, as was their morning ritual. Finally, a disheveled girl emerged from under the covers as Nana smiled down at her. Blista had the palest of skin, like a porcelain doll. Her lips were rather red in color. Her ears were slightly pointed her face was elegantly cut.
She jumped out of the bed and ran to the bathing room. She ran around getting ready for breakfast with the Countess Marie from across the country side. They were childhood friends, which was not so long of a time ago. The Countess Marie Avander was, at that moment, entering the great house. Nana, in the meantime, helped Blista ready herself.
When Blista's clothes were set, and her hair was fixed, she went down to the sitting room to meet with Marie. Marie sat playing the piano in the room when Blista entered. Blista went and sat beside her friend and began to play along. Both Countesses continued to play as though they were the only people in the world. When they came to a pause, Nana clapped her hands. Blista and Marie faced each other and engaged in a loving embrace. Blista brushed long curly locks from her friends face to get a better look at her. Marie had blue eyes and high cheekbones. She was very beautiful. The girls smiled and told each other of how much they missed the other's company.
Finally, Marie rose and took Blista's hand gently. Blista followed her out of the room. Marie led her to the sitting room in which two young men sat. The both stood as the ladies entered. One had the most vivacious red hair and blue eyes and his skin was pale though not nearly as pale as Blista's. This young man stood around six feet tall and was very muscular. The other man had long black hair, with which he held back in braid with a tie on the end. His eyes were the most beautiful emeralds. He was taller than his friend and slender. One could say he was handsome but I believe the correct term is beautiful. He had many feminine features and he portrayed them proudly. "Blista, my friend, I hope you do not mind that I have brought my cousin and friend along,"Marie said hopefully."It is fine dear friend," Blista answered."Countess Blista, meet Count Vincente Avander, my cousin,"said Marie pointing to the red head. Vincente held his hand out to Marie, she placed her own tiny hand in his own and he kissed it. "A pleasure to meet you Countess Blista."He said as he raised his head and released her hand. "Well met Count Vincente," said Blista with a nod of her head."Countess Blista," piped Marie, "Meet Sir Mikalo VonDrake of the VonDrake Castle."Mikalo took her hand as Vincente had and kissed it tenderly. He raised his eyes to meet hers. "Pleasures to meet so fine a lady. Well met Countess Blista."Blista blushed recognizably but retained her composure with care. "Well met Sir Mikalo."Marie saw her friend's plight and looped her arm in Blista's pulling her away from Mikalo. "Shall we stroll through the gardens before breakfast? I fancy...""No, we should stroll after breakfast, gentlewomen," Vincente cut her off."I agree with him," said Mikalo, "We have had quite a trip on the behalf of both you and the lovely rose that is by your side." Blista's face turned crimson red, almost as red as her lips. "I suggest we take a bite or two from our gentle hostess before we invade her lovely gardens."Blista sure fancied eating first but she was reluctant to say so before Marie. Marie, however, asked her what would be better and Blista"s stomach settled the matter with a low rumble. Blista was subsequently embarrassed and held her cheeks with her hands to hide her rose red blushes."I believe our rose has answered," flirted Vincente, much to Mikalo's disdain. "I agree with her, breakfast it is."Mikalo, being close to her, offered her his arm. "Shall we?" he asked smugly. Blista took his arm as to not appear rude. He led her out the room and to the dining room [[he had already found out where it was]].They seated themselves at the long table to dine. They ate with minimal but dignified conversation. Blista was subjected to Mikalo's compliments which only succeeded in making her lush incredibly so. Oh bother, she thought to herself, he's making a fool of me. Damn these pale cheeks.He was charming, to be sure, but something about him irked her. She did not think he should be near her. He frightened her dearly. Why he did so, she could not comprehend. She shook it all from her head and listened to whatever was said.
As he spoke, a breeze seemed to sweep by. She knew it was not her imagination when her they stopped in their words and looked around. Blista was flabbergasted. In its short length, it had chilled every bone in her."I am sorry. I am not sure what happened," she smiled nervously and apologetically.They accepted her apology but Mikalo seemed to be at unease. As soon as they were through with their Danish muffins, he suggested they take the walk then. To his dissatisfaction, Vincente led Blista to the gardens. As they walked, in couples, Maria chatted about everything. Blista had almost forgotten how chatty she was.
They passed by Carolina's grave. Blista mourned that she never knew her mother. She looked at the grave and was surprised to see that all the roses were still only buds and the color red. Nana always told her to watch the roses. The last time they were all red, Blista had fell down the stairs and broken her ankle. Nana said the red meant danger or love and that she should check them everyday to know what was going on. Blista never listened, but as she was still spooked from the cold breeze before, she thought about it now.
Mikalo went to the grave and red the inscription. "Lady Carolina lived here? Lady Carolina Dracula? I thought she was a myth. The stories about her and her bloodline are very disturbing. Why is she laid here.""So she can peer through my window at will," said Blista, startling him out of his daze, "You see, she is my mother, she died when I was birthed."Mikalo looked at her oddly for a moment, then, he became his fine, dignified self."May she rest in piece," he said, and resumed walking.
Blista could not shake the thought that something about her being a Dracula irked him.-------------------------------------------------------------------------------- YAY!!! First Chapter.
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Posted: Thu Aug 24, 2006 11:53 am
Roses in Full Bloom They sat in the gardens that evening. They chatted about politics, fashion and children. They sipped hot apple cider and fine wine. As they spoke, Blista glanced around at the flower bushes. She frightened herself when a certain bush portrayed a face of sorts. The red flowers made a badly shaped mouth and two sinister round eyes. The leaves formed a face with pointed ears. She managed to ignore it for the most part. If only she knew that the very face she saw there would come back to haunt her in time?
That night, as Blista slept peacefully, she was awakened by a cold wind. Her windows had banged themselves open. She jumped from the bed and ran to close them. As she shut them and looked out at her mother?s grave, she noted that it seemed to be illuminated. This surprised her very much. Another was that she could clearly see the blood red roses. They were not just budding as they had been that very morning. No, these very same roses were not only darker in color, but they were fully open. She trembled as she looked away. Those roses should not have opened themselves for another week.
As she glanced upon the shadows behind, she noted that there seemed to be something seeping down. Her head swung back to the window. Red lines of blood slowly made their way down it. Blista screamed and ran to her door. The blood now was traveling down the wall and onto the floor; it was beginning to pick up speed.
Servants and her dear guests ran to her room and began trying to pull her door open but it simply would not open itself. Blista cried and scream as the blood came across the floor to her. It began to touch her feet and travel up her pale calves. She banged furiously on the door wishing and wanting for release. What frightened her the most was her instinct to taste the crimson liquid. As it covered her stomach she moved away from the door to her bed trying to wipe the blood off. It refused to leave her. Then, Mikalo came through the door and only the blood on her body remained.
He quickly went to her and wrapped his arms around her. Poor Blista was too frightened to push him away. She did not realize how he inhaled the scent around her. She did not notice but someone did, actually, more than someone did. Nana, for one and the other, Vincente. Vincente found this odd but said nothing; Nana proceeded to pull Blista away from him. She examined the girl critically and exclaimed, "My heavens child!!! Where are you bleeding?"
"Not my blood Nana," sobbed Blista, "It came from the windows, it...it..."Mikalo tried to get close to Blista once more, but Nana kept him from doing so. Blista sobbed loudly. Nana continued to search her over, but could not find the source of conflict."Believe me Nana," Blista cried loudly, "Believe me!!!"
"I do child," Nana reassured her. Nana sat her down on the bed and rocked her slowly. Vincente went to the window and looked it over carefully. He found a single drop of blood there. Marie had joined them by now and heard Blista accusing the window."Now, now, Blista," she cooed, "the windows couldn't have possibly done that.""Actually, they possibly could have. There's blood over here and it's not smeared. Something dripped blood on this window sill and if you look outside, there is blood all over the walls, but it seems to be going away. There is something deftly wrong in this place," Vincente said thoughtfully."Cousin!" exclaimed Marie, "What are you saying?""I am saying that there is danger here. Blista is in incredible danger."Blista whimpered and hid her face in Nana's clothes. Something caught Vincente's eye and he turned to the windows in horror. The gates were banging themselves shut and huge trees sprouted all around the walls. Nothing could possibly penetrate that."Seems that we are trapped, friends," Vincente said in a quiet voice. "Blista, the roses about your mother's grave, they completely cover it in open red blooms and they seem to glow. I do believe that some of them are black. What is going on here?"Blista mumbled that she did not know between her cries. Vincente turned and went to her. "I am responsible for the safety of my cousin. I need to know what it is that is happening.""I don't know," said Blista exasperatedly."Maybe I do?" Nana owned up. "It started when the Count Dracula died. Sit and listen to what I tell you."They all sat down around Nana, even the servants that had come up there. Vincente and Mikalo had just noticed that."The Count was a vampire. That is why he lived for so long. He never really died. Marie and Vincente, your grandmother, Countess Avander, was a witch, she put him to sleep. She said it was not permanent and that only the child born with gold could kill him. Blista is that child, her eyes are gold."Blista looked purely horrified at the prospect. Nana continued. "We accepted that, and drugged him. His body was drawn immediately to his coffin which is in the chambers below this foundation. We could not move it. His body remained dormant. The night Blista was birthed; Carolina woke in the early morn. When we came, she was on the floor screaming and pointing at the window. She screamed about a face, but we could see none. We understood that it was him when Blista emerged. All the blood from Carolina's body flooded Blista but no matter what, Blista refused to cry. We thought she would be the monster the Count was, but no, we grew her differently, we tried. That is why she is the innocent and beautiful young woman before us. I don't know where Mikalo comes into this story, but I do believe the Draculas and the VonDrakes are distantly related."The entire room came into a period of unholy silence. Suddenly, Vincente leapt forward to catch a fainted Blista before she fell off the bed.____________________________________________________________________ There we go. Short, but it's a leading chapter.
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Black Bloody Roses Captain
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