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 Posted: Thu Mar 25, 2010 3:06 pm
On ff.net my name is hyperStatic. Not bragging, but my stories, though perhaps not heavily reviewed, get around 1500 on average readers per day. Why? I'm going to tell you. A magician never reveals their secrets, but I am not a magician. No rabbits. XP
Each section will help you to succeed in the genre of your choice.
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Posted: Thu Mar 25, 2010 3:11 pm
Comedy
I am, I like to think, quite a comedic person. I don't take life too seriously so that's probably why. So when you want to inject some humor into a tale, what's the difference between cheesy and side-splitting?
Well, when you write a humor fic, it is SO terrible to write things that rely on rants, screams and fights to be funny. Such as:
"OMG!" screamed Lucie, whacking Ry around the head. Ry fell to the floor and Lucie kicked the body, while Mia backed away slowly.
That's not funny, I'm sorry. Try to use some sarcasm, and try to use plays on words- just stay away from violence. Quote from my Death note fic Muffins:
"Hello!" a bright perky voice trilled. "Is Matsuda here?"
Ide stared over to Matsuda, who was waving his hands in a frantic manner and mouthing, "I'm not here!"
"He says he's not here," Ide said gruffly to Sayu, and in that moment Matsuda tried not to die.
Stuff like that. I could have easily put in Matuda beating up Ide, but that would be out of character and not funny. Sadly many authors do this. MAKE LOVE NOT WAR.
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Posted: Thu Mar 25, 2010 3:14 pm
OC
OC, or "own characters", can easily become a Mary-Sue. Mary-Sue's are characters that are perfect in every way. (see the Mary Sue thread for extra details)
Many OC's become Mary Sue's, and these things annoy the crap out of readers. How to avoid this? Stick to canon where possible and don't make OC's! Fics based around and OC stuck in the universe, no matter how well written, gets a proven 73.2% less readers as of 2008. Seriously. NOBODY LIKES OC'S. Use them for little jobs. And if you MUST use an own character, why not just use an unexplored background character??
It makes sense.
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Posted: Thu Mar 25, 2010 3:16 pm
Lemons
These are smex scenes. Try not to be sickeningly graphic, but not undetailed too. Unless you wanna shock people, keep it smooth.
My fic quote:
"Oh. That's new. Her arms shoot up of their own accord and seize his raven hair, and she lets out a shout. He gives a noticeable gasp as he's pulled forward suddenly, and it puts him off-task."
Not very detailed but you can see what's happening. Duh. Unless you're an expert or can pull it off, or you're making a porn!fic... Keep it cool, dude.
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Posted: Thu Mar 25, 2010 3:19 pm
Limes
Limes are fooling around, kissing and stuff. Not lemons. As graphic as you wanna make it, remember to keep it sweet, save the other stuff for lemons. And leave the readers wanting more. Dear God, leave some to the imagination!
Observe, from my fic "Kisses":
We end up slipping back onto the chair, and the next thing I know he's pressing me against his body and kissing me gently. Warmth; that's what hits me the most. He's warm and soft, drawing patterns on my arms with his fingertips, and I can't stop myself from crawling upwards and arching my back. He raises his head in time, as if craving this moment not to end, and I feel slightly guilty when I softly push him away.
DO. NOT. MAKE. CHARACTERS. KISS. FOR. DUMB. REASONS.
Seriously. Keep in character- most important thing you can do ever.
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Posted: Thu Mar 25, 2010 3:21 pm
Yaoi
This is also known as slash. Aka guy on guy. See my "lemon" section.
These are usually mindless between two guys that talk a lot but seem straight. These fics can be as out of character as possible. They're nearly all literally plotless. Seriously. Make them for a little fun now and then, don't expect to make a living outta it.
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Posted: Thu Mar 25, 2010 3:24 pm
Angst
Angsty fangirls are ANNOYING. I should know, I used to be one. My earlier fics suck. Bad.
So, here we are. Angst. These are fics focusing on baaaaaaad things, and how the character deals with them. They're emotional fics. DON'T make the character sad if they wouldn't be so utterly depressed in real life. If they're a sunny character (think Ed from Cowboy Bebop) they wouldn't suddenly self harm. Those fics literally SUCK. Seriously, you will MEGA FAIL.
Here's how to "do" angst:
The smile that had been on his lips from earlier is gone now. His heart thumps, a pulsing rhythm. The blood rushes through his body as he lies there, cold and shaking wildly, limbs flailing from beyond his control, and a pain he never knew he could feel is forcing him to scream, as he knows, KNOWS he's losing, after all this time, and he knows now… He's losing it big time, screaming and sobbing, his life a river that is drying up as he realises that soon he'll be nothing but a faded, whitewashed memory in Riza's dark, shadowed past.
Don't say:
He was so depressed. He wanted to just kill himself there and then. That seemed a good idea so he did. The noose felt like a scarf. He died alone.
That's just effortless, lazy and lame.
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Posted: Thu Mar 25, 2010 3:27 pm
Horror
The most cliched thing ever. Try not to set these in:
*castles
*mansions
*forests
*warehouses
unless these are places your fandoms are in.
How to write a lil bit o' horror:
Silence was golden, very golden. Yes, she had to be quiet. Because if she wasn't, it would be the end of her. Her memories, this person she had become, the person she was so comfortable being, would disappear.
Inject some uncomfortable imagery, be risky. DON'T be cliche. And if a character dies, DON'T just magically bring them back as a ghost/vampire/demon. NOT COOL.
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Posted: Thu Mar 25, 2010 3:29 pm
Drabble
Drabbles are short!fics. Here's an example of a drabble. It's called "It was Falman" and it was my first fanfic ever, so it's special to me. It's a Full Metal Alchemist.
It was Falman
"My knight takes your queen!" Havoc declared smugly to Falman.
"Havoc, that's a bishop, and it can't use a gun," the grey-haired officer tried to explain.
Havoc sniffed. "I knew that, obviously…"
"Pawn to B4," Falman declared, making a move.
"GUY WITH HAT TAKES YOUR PRAWN!" Havoc yelled.
"Okay first of all it's a PAWN. And guy with hat is your QUEEN," Falman explained.
"Yeah?" Havoc snapped. "You're a Queen- Drag queen!"
***
Roy walked in to find the office destroyed.
"WHO DID THIS?!"
"…It was Falman."
See, drabbles can be seemingly dumb and pointless, but so long as they're fun, who cares?? I love drabbles!
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Posted: Thu Mar 25, 2010 3:32 pm
Multichapters
Don't do a Dragonball and stretch a very thin plotline about fighting and magic balls and stuff. If you're making a multichapter, keep it under 20 chaps because that will ensure the plot isn't stretched and the readers don't lose interest. Personally I think 5-10 chapters are a good amount, and one-shots get more readers than munltichapters.
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Posted: Thu Mar 25, 2010 3:35 pm
Story Descriptions
Make story descriptions eyecatching. Remember, you have to get readers to read the story. Compare these:
Falman's called into the office one morning. And Mustang's got a problem. A big one.
And:
Rowdy was in a tree. At the top.
Both these are short, and both of these already make you think "WTF? Maybe I should see what the hell this is..."
Don't put:
PLEASE READ I promise this is really good! Please review!!
I can't tell you the amount of times I've seen that and died a little inside.
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Posted: Thu Mar 25, 2010 3:40 pm
Reviews and Flames
When someone reviews your story, be grateful. When someone gives constructive critiscism take it on board and learn from it. When someone flames it (aka basically says in very unkind words "YOUR STORY WAS A PILE OF DOG s**t) be GRATEFUL.
Why? People will only flame if they mean it. I know from experience.
If your story has ten reviews and they all say your story was good, and then you get something like: This is pathetic. No grammar, all the characters are out of character and the story is unbeliveable, so do us a favour and leave DO NOT ARGUE WITH THEM.
See, flamers who can spell/seem intelligent underneath the hate are actually so. The other reviewers I'm guessing don't have high standards and if you get things like "OMG AWESOME!" as a review before you get the flame, you'll know they're not exactly the brightest.
But if the flamer says "FUUUUUK U THIS IS CRAP GET LOST EMO KID!" you'll know they're idiots. And only cowards flame anonymously, so ignore them.
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Posted: Thu Mar 25, 2010 3:41 pm
I'm done, any questions?
Need anything just post on the thread. Want another section? Just request it in the thread post. ^ ^
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Posted: Wed Apr 07, 2010 10:30 am
Many of these are off and don't actually work as 'universal' advice.
Would you like some help? I've done college speeches on many of these.
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Posted: Fri Apr 09, 2010 12:36 am
I did say it was just advice... it's not important...
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Reply
