Welcome to Gaia! ::

i don't like going home.

i hate being there, i'm alone half the time because my dad is busy all the time, he won't even be home when i arrive tomorrow because he's going on a date with his girlfriend and partying and staying at her house. it's just disgusting, and i feel disgusted being around my dad because of what he does, i even found cialis in the car and i thought i was going to vomit.
AND I CAN'T SHAKE IT.
i try not to think about it, but i just feel so sick to my stomach all the time when he's around, and i'm just disgusted by him. i'm freaking disgusted by my dad, and i don't feel like i love him.
what can i do?
i just don't even know what to do.

he's never around, it doesn't make a difference whether i'm home or not, he doesn't even really know me anymore, and i found that when i'm home i have the tendency to try to buy things to make it more comfortable, and so i spend a bunch of money on s**t and it OBVIOUSLY doesn't help because it's just material stuff.

i don't have anywhere else to stay, and i have to go home for a job interview, and i have to move back over the summer because i have no money.

should i go confess this to a priest? i'd go to a catholic church just to confess, do they still do it anonymously?
is there a "dial a confession" number i can call?
i don't really care if it's anonymous, i just don't want to be face to face because i know i'll break down if i talk to someone about it.

what can i do?
how do y'all deal with dysfunctional families?
i feel so alone because i don't have any close friends in college, my best friend is all the way in ohio, and my other best friend is off living her own life.

i'm just really breaking down and i don't know what to do.

Why confess? You are hurting it sounds like, the best thing you can to is to try and find help, to talk with someone maybe a priest, maybe just a good friend, there are always people who are willing to listen, I know I am. I can say what your father is doing is right, but I can't say it is wrong.(I don't have all the story not asking if you are going to share your business.) I understand why you are buying things as well, it is not greed or anything that is bad, so I would say it is not really a thing that you need to confess about, just try and stop doing it because it is make you feel worse.
The way I dealt with it was to talk with some, I had other major issues so I talked to a therapist, which has helped greatly, I know being in college would make it harder, but like I said just taking with some in general can help. Also remember there are always people willing to help.