Personal
Name: I'm currently going by Alisu online thank you~ [See below for nicknames]
Age: Eighteen - 30.01.92 - Aquarius - Ram
Gender: Girl, obviously =D
Location: UK - N.Ireland
Nationality: Australian/British
Sexual Orientation: Bisexual, leaning towards men. I haven't liked a girl like that, but I'm open to dating one if she asked me and I thought I might like her. But Relationships are complicated atm...
Relationship Status: Single
Crush: A guy I knew from online [It's a depressing tale, and I'm pretty sure it's in my gaia journal, I might mention him from time to time... Actually, I will almost certainly mention him as he's the source of a lot of my problems...]
Nicknames: [Long list so I'll say my favs~] Hanarella - Furuba fans, anyone have an idea where this one came from? xD
Ross, Rose, Rosa - Adaptations of my real name
Rebyc Taylor, Rebyc, Becky - Was and still is mostly my online identity [I use Taylor as a last name on a lot of sites that need it xD]
Crym - Recent Nickname, short for Crimson, cos "Crimson Rose" is my universal username atm. If I can't think of something else I use that xD
Yuuki - As in Yuuki Cross from VK, I hope dearly I'm not as stupid or slow as she is, but unfortunatly as of recent times we've had a few things in common so I've used this name sometimes.
What makes me, Me.
Personality: [Wow, this'll be hard =D] I'm nice... I hope, I like trying to be nice or do the right thing you know what everyone likes to do, but I know I can very much be the opposite. I can be mean and really snappy [Especially without music], I'm easily irritated and I don't like hanging out with other people, at least not ones I don't know. But despite that, I want to just have someone come up to me and talk to me... ~Sighs~ I'm a romantic, I read Shojo, Yaoi, and Yuri, mostly just for the romance in them. So all my love knowledge/experience comes from them, which might be why I'm bad at dealing with my own relationship problems. I don't always understand what I feel, I know when I'm mad and I know when I'm sad and that's about it, and usually I don't know why I'm mad or sad.
History: [Well this'll be fun... I'll split it up into sections...]
Australia: I don't remember much, but what I remember is happiness. I wasn't sad back then, before the first major move [to Sydney from Melbourne] I was certainly happy, I had a best friend and I had other close friends, I also found it easy to make friends. In Sydney I was still happy and had friends but my dad got sick and we moved. It was after that when things started to go wrong.
N.I.: In school from P4 [Aged 8] to Fifth Form [Aged 16/17] I was bullied. In primary school, I had a couple of friends, mostly younger then me, but I was also picked on by one of the guys who followed me all the way to third form. I hated him, in Hero terms, he was my arch nemises. I was pretty paranoid in school, I was in choir and I had a friend there, but when I discovered he had links to my enemy, I automatically assumed that he was a spy. [Wow, what an odd 11 year old...] In second form, my best friend abandoned me. She was someone who told me in primary school that no one would ever break us apart... I hated my High School, when I was accepted I asked my mum to see if she could get me into my second choice school instead, [I'd gotten into my third choice and my nextdoor neighbour got the same marks as me and got into my second choice school] I changed my mind in the end, because even though my enemy was there, I had my best friend. So yes I decided to not go where I wanted so I could be with her and not lose contact. Then in second form, I was accused of being too clingy and her other friends didn't like me. By third form, we barely spoke. I had new friends, [People who transfered in from other countries] and then that expanded a little, and I felt, maybe my old Best friend didn't care now, since I had someone to be friends with other then her, maybe she felt she could just ignore me. [It's not easy to ignore someone you've been attached to for so long if they're sat all alone.] And so in Forth form, we didn't talk at all. In fact I sat with my other friend and she with her friend in a group for an activity... She ignored me, she was sat right accross from me at the same table and she didn't look at me or talk to me, at all. And this was group work. For the record, I don't hate her. I'm stupid so if she said she wanted to be friends again. I'd smile and agree without hesitation.
Online: I don't know if it's just me, but I always get along better online with people. I love typing but hate talking and texting. So it's natural for me to get along better, plus without the close interaction, I feel like I can be myself, people like you for what you are online not for how you look or appear to be like. [Ah, now it's time to mention that guy from earlier!] I used to use CrunchyRoll a lot, I also had friends there and joined groups for things I liked, that sort of thing, but I talked more on their then I do on Gaia [I'm a sucker for Anime Pairings~ So I talk about them there, a lot, and about characters in general] So in a VK group, I was RPing in my normal style while everyone else used a typical CR rp format, one or two lines with ** for Actions etc. Then me and him noticed each other. I had long posts, he had long posts. And so that led to me and him RPing together, [along with my online BFF]. After a few days we both added him to our friendslist and started RPing via the guestbook. This went on for a long time. Everytime we talked I'd talk to "Kaname" [He RPs Kaname Kuran from VK] Everytime he signed on and I got a message from him, I'd be instanty happy, after three messages I'd usually be wide awake and hyper, even if it was three in the morning. and then one time, I don't remember how it started, but I spoke to what I honestly believe was him. It wasn't Kaname, it was the person who used Kaname as his shield. And I believe it was at that point that I fell in love. After spending four hours talking about ourselves we eventually signed out, and after that we'd talk as ourselves not as our characters. When I asked him the usual "How are You?" and I got a reply other then Okay or Fine I was estatic. It helped that my friend asked him the same question and got "Okay" xDD I was just happy that he could actually tell me that he wasn't alright, and that he'd actually talk to me about it. I told myself I wouldn't tell him, I gave him a tiny hint that no guy would ever really pick up on and that was all. I was scared, I didn't want a long distance relationship, I want to be able to see and smile at him, and lean against him when I'm sad. [.__. I sound really mushy...] And I also didn't know I loved him. He didn't have luck dating, and so I was scared to say "I love you" just in case I didn't. I was afraid that if I found out later I didn't love him, that I would hurt him and that was too much. So I said nothing of the sort. Coming up to exams, I had to resit my English exam, [oh btw, he wants to be an English Teacher <3] And he said I'd do fine and that'd I'd pass... It was only his words that gave me confidence, my best friend, my teacher, my family, their words of confidence didn't affect me. But when I heard it from him, I felt calm, and confident, I felt like I could pass. [And I did btw] It was after the exams but before the results that it happened... Messages became unfrequent, he only sent one at 5am... [His 11pm/12am] I got the last message "2nd of June" A week later, I signed on and his account was deleted.
Tech: Well Now I'm at tech, doing AS levels, [History, Psychology and Photography]. I'm currently only passing History xD Around Christmas last year... Well I suppose it was a little before, in November/December, there's this guy in my Psychology class, I knew him for a few years before but this was the first time I ever saw him outside of the usual place, so I knew him a little more. He was dating a girl in our class but we got along well. He had been off sick a few days, and I was talking to him on msn, I casually said "I hope you get better soon" It's natural to say that, it's what I do, it's in my personality to say things like that, like "I hope you enjoy your dinner" etc. But I think it started with those words. He told, me that no one had ever said that to him, not even his current girl friend. Frankly I was shocked, how could no one have said that? After that we started talking and I got the odd compliment from him "You look Cute" that sort of thing. I don't really like compliments, [that's just the way I am, I'm paranoid and don't trust people with compliments, asking me out etc.] So then we talked a little more, and then he asked me out. I freaked out. I didn't know what to do, yes I know I'm in love with someone currently, but as far as I know he doesn't exist and I liked this person... So I agreed to it. We lasted three weeks. Our "Dates" were, him coming to my Church for our Christingle, him watching me play the Xbox360 [He asked to come round again the next day or the day after and I told him no cos I wanted to play Eternal Sonata.] Then on the third date, we sat and watched, Peterpan and then Monty Python the quest for the holy grail... Would you believe, I dumped him? Seriously, I was an awful Girlfriend, if I was a guy I would have dumped me. But no, my ex had dated a lot but never dumped anyone, instead he was dumped. It started with me just thinking to myself. I didn't like this, it wasn't how I wanted it, I didn't feel close enough to him, I felt like we were just friends, and not even close friends. I thought and thought and I realised it just wasn't supposed to be. So I went back to my room and talked to my two best friends, I wanted to make sure I was doing the right thing, I had to get a new set of eyes on my situation. I couldn't figure out what to do. By the end of it, I knew I had to break up with him. But I didn't know how to do it. Then he signed on and asked if he could come round the next day. I freaked out. I didn't know what to do, so in the end I broke up with him online. [It wasn't like "Sorry we're breaking up" or anything, I wrote out a huge paragraph to explain it to him. and at first it was alright... Then he went Suicidal... Twice. I didn't understand what it was at all. I mean seriously... What the hell? I was an awful Girl Friend and we barely knew each other, and yet he was convinced that I was "The one". I started thinking earlier this year... Maybe it was because of those words I told him? I think, maybe he just needed someone kind... A few kind words, a hug that sort of thing. But I wasn't planning to do that, no. I'm through with him, because I understood the second I sent that message that I had done the right thing. But that left me where I started, still in love with a man who might not be real... [And thus I have a KanameXYuukiXZero Promblem...]
Likes:
Music
Shojo/Yaoi/Yuri Manga/Anime
Pringles
MSN
Being Online
My Ring that my American friend got me as a "Bribe" [Funny story, I'll tell you about it sometime]
Video Games [Final Fantasy in particular]
Reading
Dislikes:
Jerks
Not understanding
Being in Love
Pain
Meat
Food that's not what I like
Losing Friends
Being ignored
Being Judged
Being Compared to others
Feeling Lost
Fears:
Losing loved ones
Dying
Being all alone, forever.
Prawns
Crustatians
Cars
I think that's everything. I appologise if my History sounded depressing <<
