Six months ago. It's such a clear picture,i remember it-Unfortunatly- like it happened yesterday. Earlier that day,i had just seen my best friend,Malik. We've been best friend since sixth grade,and still are to this day.
Anyway,after i saw him,i went back to my grandmothers house. My grandmother lives near Malik's house,so it was the only way i could see him. I went inside and up until about ten,i stayed in the living room messing around with my better half (My cousin Ashlee] and her brother...Robert...Me and Robert had made plans to go smoke after Ashlee went to sleep,because we knew she was against drugs. After Ashlee had fell asleep,Robert and i had went into his room to go light-up,and we decided to watch Juno. Thank god for my abnormal ability to feel when something horrid would happen. For that feeling prevented me from smoking,and if i wouldv'e been high at that time,the situation wouldv'e been worse. I had noticed in the living room earlier that i thought Robert was making passes at me,but i figured i was exagerrating. I was WRONG. I was completly WRONG. Later on in that bed,he had laid down beside me. I didn't care because he was my cousin,we were family,and i thought that was everything. But,he had started to kiss and suck on my neck,and touched me in places i was most uncomfortable...
I squirmed around and free'd myself from his grasp,sickened to the bone. Incest was disgusting,and i just hate it when it's brought up. He continued doing what he was doing,and though every time i was free,i idiodicly stayed in the room,hoping it was a nightmare. He told me "It might be the kush,but i can't help but look at you that way." Those words enraged me,and i tried to leave,but he just pulled me back. I felt hopeless,but i knew tears wouldn't help me,so i screamed for help and squirmed again. Everyone was sleeping,and he cupped his hand over my mouth. He told me "Shhh,i'm not gonna hurt you,i just wanna eat you out" I looked at him with the meanest face i could muster,upset that a cousin could say that to their younger cousin with such pride! Tears were streaming down my cheeks,and my grandmother finally woke up. He heard her coming to his room,and immidiatly let me go. I wanted to run,but instead i balled up,too scared to move. My grandmother got me out,and i ran to Ashlee's bed. I slammed the door closed and locked it,shaking her and waking her up. Ashlee stayed up the whole night with me,cuddling me and telling me she'll protect me. I weeped violently the whole night through,but i was strong enough to leave that room in the morning knowing he was still in the house,undress in that bathroom that's RIGHT across from his bedroom,shower and get dressed for church in the room beside his. It was hard,but i refused to let him interfere with god. I was inside the living room,waiting on Ashlee and he came in,looking straight at me and smiling as if he had fun! I looked at him with narrowed eyes,and he came up to me and asked "What,you mad at me?" ARE YOU ******** KIDDING ME? He MOLESTED me and then had the ODASITY to ask was i MAD! I was so mad,and then he kissed my neck! I went to slap him,but Ashlee came in and stopped me. I was so pissed but she held me. She ended up punching him in the face later that day,but it didn't mend the pain.
Robert was a thief,liar,and just overall a bad person,but it hurt because i ALWAYS stuck up for him. Me and Ashlee ALWAYS defending him when things came up missing,and when my grandmothers pearl necklace came up missing the week before,i stuck up for him. I TOOK THE BLAME. I had to pay 3oo dollars to my grandmothers for that necklace out of money i was saving to go to Iowa,New york,then back home. I worked for that money so hard,and it was all gone.
Robert was a delinquint,but i always kept him from trouble.
It broke my fraglie heart,as if i didn't have enough troubles.
I have many mental disorders,i've been called a monster by un-numbered people,i've been told that i would never be ANYTHING by my father,and i've had my ******** TORN away from me by death...
My life was nothing,which was why i would drink and smoke anyway. Drugs gave me an escape,and i took it.
I was sixteen when that happened.
I'm now seventeen,happy,clean of ALL drugs,and am getting along much better with my OTHER siblings.
This is not to make you pity me,i've had my fill of pity from strangers,but to show you you CAN triumph the worst. Please,hear my story,and become stronger from it.
Also,i have become a dance instuctor for teens who belly-dance,and another dance studio for hip-hop dancing for teens. I'm in pursuit of becoming a singer.
Anyway,after i saw him,i went back to my grandmothers house. My grandmother lives near Malik's house,so it was the only way i could see him. I went inside and up until about ten,i stayed in the living room messing around with my better half (My cousin Ashlee] and her brother...Robert...Me and Robert had made plans to go smoke after Ashlee went to sleep,because we knew she was against drugs. After Ashlee had fell asleep,Robert and i had went into his room to go light-up,and we decided to watch Juno. Thank god for my abnormal ability to feel when something horrid would happen. For that feeling prevented me from smoking,and if i wouldv'e been high at that time,the situation wouldv'e been worse. I had noticed in the living room earlier that i thought Robert was making passes at me,but i figured i was exagerrating. I was WRONG. I was completly WRONG. Later on in that bed,he had laid down beside me. I didn't care because he was my cousin,we were family,and i thought that was everything. But,he had started to kiss and suck on my neck,and touched me in places i was most uncomfortable...
I squirmed around and free'd myself from his grasp,sickened to the bone. Incest was disgusting,and i just hate it when it's brought up. He continued doing what he was doing,and though every time i was free,i idiodicly stayed in the room,hoping it was a nightmare. He told me "It might be the kush,but i can't help but look at you that way." Those words enraged me,and i tried to leave,but he just pulled me back. I felt hopeless,but i knew tears wouldn't help me,so i screamed for help and squirmed again. Everyone was sleeping,and he cupped his hand over my mouth. He told me "Shhh,i'm not gonna hurt you,i just wanna eat you out" I looked at him with the meanest face i could muster,upset that a cousin could say that to their younger cousin with such pride! Tears were streaming down my cheeks,and my grandmother finally woke up. He heard her coming to his room,and immidiatly let me go. I wanted to run,but instead i balled up,too scared to move. My grandmother got me out,and i ran to Ashlee's bed. I slammed the door closed and locked it,shaking her and waking her up. Ashlee stayed up the whole night with me,cuddling me and telling me she'll protect me. I weeped violently the whole night through,but i was strong enough to leave that room in the morning knowing he was still in the house,undress in that bathroom that's RIGHT across from his bedroom,shower and get dressed for church in the room beside his. It was hard,but i refused to let him interfere with god. I was inside the living room,waiting on Ashlee and he came in,looking straight at me and smiling as if he had fun! I looked at him with narrowed eyes,and he came up to me and asked "What,you mad at me?" ARE YOU ******** KIDDING ME? He MOLESTED me and then had the ODASITY to ask was i MAD! I was so mad,and then he kissed my neck! I went to slap him,but Ashlee came in and stopped me. I was so pissed but she held me. She ended up punching him in the face later that day,but it didn't mend the pain.
Robert was a thief,liar,and just overall a bad person,but it hurt because i ALWAYS stuck up for him. Me and Ashlee ALWAYS defending him when things came up missing,and when my grandmothers pearl necklace came up missing the week before,i stuck up for him. I TOOK THE BLAME. I had to pay 3oo dollars to my grandmothers for that necklace out of money i was saving to go to Iowa,New york,then back home. I worked for that money so hard,and it was all gone.
Robert was a delinquint,but i always kept him from trouble.
It broke my fraglie heart,as if i didn't have enough troubles.
I have many mental disorders,i've been called a monster by un-numbered people,i've been told that i would never be ANYTHING by my father,and i've had my ******** TORN away from me by death...
My life was nothing,which was why i would drink and smoke anyway. Drugs gave me an escape,and i took it.
I was sixteen when that happened.
I'm now seventeen,happy,clean of ALL drugs,and am getting along much better with my OTHER siblings.
This is not to make you pity me,i've had my fill of pity from strangers,but to show you you CAN triumph the worst. Please,hear my story,and become stronger from it.
Also,i have become a dance instuctor for teens who belly-dance,and another dance studio for hip-hop dancing for teens. I'm in pursuit of becoming a singer.
