Welcome to Gaia! ::

so some of y'all might remember me talking about fighting with my sister.
I call her my sister, but we aren't actually related, we've just always referred to each other as sisters... which is why the following was disappointing and humiliating....


She and I fought for months after my car wreck. she was pissed that I was in a car alone with a boy during my wreck, and then when I went to visit her over my winter break, she ignored me the whole time. well, after that I just decided to have a few months where I just didn't talk to her, you know, some space. and we both agreed on that, we both agreed that we would have our space and be friends again. she even said "i'm in this friendship for the long haul, you're family"
well after those two months we started talking regularly again in February.

I talked to her this past tuesday, she called to ask me something, and let it slip that she and her husband are expecting their second child. actually, 6 months pregnant to be exact. that's VERY pregnant.

the convo went like this:

her: "yeah, I don't want to be walking around pregnant in the texas heat..."
me: "wait, did you just say you're pregnant?"
her: "what?"
me: "I thought you just said you were pregnant"
her: "...no, I don't think so."
"oh, ok"
"yeah, Ididn't."
"oh sorry, it sounded like you did..."
"well, I didn't say I was. but... um, I actually am."
"oh, really?"
"yeah, I'm actually 6 months pregnant...."

and then told me it's going to be a boy due in september, and I just gave her a nice congrats. well after that, we actually had a fairly good conversation. we talked on the phone for 40 minutes which is the longest we've talked since my car wreck.
but when I hung up, it started hitting me in the face that she didn't tell me, and judging by the conversation, she wasn't intending to tell me at all.
that hurts.
a lot.

she also got into a car wreck two weeks ago. she told me about that a few days after it happened, and that required a lot of trust since we fought so much about our wreck. but I said "at least you weren't alone in the vehicle" and APPARENTLY I WAS WRONG. THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN A GOOD TIME TO MENTION IT.

So, what I'm trying to figure out is how to figure out why she didn't tell me, while putting it in the most loving way possible. I'm trying my best to be charitable, because we are called to. I have a hard time addressing these things, and I've just been praying that the Holy Spirit guides me.

It's funny because I was praying this past weekend, before this came out, that God would turn our friendship into something that glorifies God. I really think the Holy Spirit was working through her when she let it slip.

so how can I address this lovingly?
how can I express my frustration on a nonconfrontational way?
can y'all pray for the same thing for me, that the holy spirit guides my actions?

It might not be easy, but just don't worry about it, you're not doing yourself any good by worrying, and as you can see, you're actually doing yourself harm by worrying so much.

the best thing you can do is pray, and just put it in Gods hands, just tell Him "Lord, i cannot handle this, take it from me, and do what's best with it" or however you want to say it,
God wants us to ask for His help, because, among other things, when we ask Him and our prayers are answered, then we know it was Him who helped.
and don't be afraid to ask more than once, be persistent,

you just have to realize that this is really out of your hands, and God can do a much better job at fixing things anyways, so just leave it to him, which means, stop trying to take it upon yourself, you are stressed and worried because you want things to go a certain way or end up a certain way, but they are not going that way...and although perhaps they will eventually, but for now you just need to try and regain your peace, and look at this as Gods will, even if only temporarily, because if God wants this circumstance to take place, you must trust that it is only ever for your own good, God loves you, so trust Him and just try to calm down, and ask Him to help you with that to,

and i know all of that is not easy to do, but given the situation you're in, you really need to try, you're just not doing yourself any good by worrying, you're getting yourself sick...so just ask God to open a window for you, and surely something, or someone, will come along to make things better,

but my advice to you're one question -


i would simply say, don't, just leave it alone for now, pray on it for awhile,
pray for her and yourself, although not for anything specific, but pray just for Gods will to be done, for the best possible outcome,
and maybe after awhile, after you've had time to really think things through, you will be able to talk to her again without this stress and hyperventilation,

alright? so i hope this helps, and i will definitely keep you and your friend in my prayer.
take care.

The advice here is astoundingly good, I think. But it's been three days since the last post and I was just wondering how you were fairing after all of this, Kikkaku.

I'm glad to see that things turned out well for your relationship with your sister. Family bonds are very important. Keep up the good work!