It's sad really...

[Nerdodactyl]

Everything I know is falling apart and as it's falling apart I continue building with out stopping and taking the time to repair anything thus causing my world to collapse even more. There are sad things happening but then good things happen soon after as if trying to maintain a balance but is everything thing balanced if I'm unhappy? There may be times when I think I'm happy but it just doesn't feel right. I would like to think that I love myself or anyone else but i just don't know what the feeling of love is supposed to feel like.
Beside the point I'm complaining about my problems to people I don't even know and who probably don't even care. But what do I care if anyone is going to read this and take the time out of their day to comment back on something so trivial.
It's a load of hullabullo and quite frankly i shouldn't be so pissy about my minor misfortunes. So what if I can't be happy with another and am doomed to be alone? I still have my looks as shallow as that sounds and I have my thoughts, I am able to perform the simple tasks neccessary for living so I can't really complain about something as trivial as a break up. I should be happy with what I have insted of complaining because I want and deeply believe I deserve more. Who doesn't think they deserve more then they have? We all want things it's part of human nature to want more than we have we are never satisfied as a populace and we always need new things and more time and more money it's such a filthy greed, throw in the petty jealousy of wanting things others have and you have quite a pitiful being.
I guess I'm just a jaded perons by nature and I would quite enjoy a good conversation with someone who would like to say what they think. I have grown quite bored of all this drivel coming from people who claim to be happy but yet still want more implying that what they have isn't enough.
This has become quite the rant which was not at all in my intentions to start a rant I just needed to let forth the thoughts of my mind lest they would cause me to go mad if I left them locked up.  

[for if dreams die]

I've never talked to you, but I do care.

If you need someone to talk to, you can certainly talk to me. Over Gaia, AIM, MSN, Yahoo!, or whatever. I'll do whatever I can for you.

I hope things get better for you.  

[A Broken Gear]

What you said is either universal, or I relate well. Sorry about me not being entirely wordy or anything but I feel like things can evolve pretty simply from time to time. I'm pretty sad. How are you feeling today. I myself am alone and living in a house of people who hate me while looking for a job application. My hopes are that when I go away to college this fall things give themselves more meaning. For me, right now I'm sad because I feel like I'm surronded by people who would rather never see anything in a person but what they know. I know this sounds greedy but I'd like them to be curious enough to ask me why I don't respond to things, why I act the way I do. Anything. I want someone to drill into me and stay there. I feel a great ennui after meditating and feeling that the only thing that can, for truth matter is to know and love one another. I love all that I come in contact with, but I feel they don't want to know me or let me know them, as if that last layer, that thin egg shell is impossible to break. I mean, truly, I haven't flirted or interacted with much gay people. In high school the only choice was to date a stereotype. I know it seems shallow of me but I don't want to talk to anyone who wants to tell me about celebrity news, fashion, the other girls. I want to find someone who feels like me, I've found some but we fade in and out, and it's nothing romantic. I want to find someone without a rulebook if that makes sense. I'm ranting lol, take what it what you want. Hoping we can either have a conversation or throw words at each other.  

[Nerdodactyl]

@Truth: Thanks it's nice to know there are people out there who despite all the things they could do in a day they wouldn't be bothered if someone wanted them to listen/read about a complaint that most people couldn't give a ******** and a half about. Life wouldn't go so well with out the selfless people like you. smile

@Gear I know the feeling, I would have to say some of my most favourite conversations have been with myself since that is the only time the proper replies are given and the proper questions asked so that I can say everything I would like to say. As for that egg metaphor all I can say is "toss 'em in boiling water and smack the b***h with a wooden spoon." they'll peel like a person's skin when they get a sunburn.