|
|
|
|
|
|
|
XxXWhite_Wolfy_GoddessXxX
|
 Posted: Sat Sep 17, 2011 9:38 am
Me and my gf have been together for 2 years. I love her dearly, she always know how to make me smile when i am sad and she taught me how to open up again and let someone in. A couple of days ago she asked me if she could go behind my back and see if there was someone else out there that was the one for her. That really hurt me and since then we have been into huge fights. I keep asking her if I did something wrong and she always says no, but I know its my fault. I only live four hours away, and after I gradutated I was going to move up closer to her, but the thing is..when I asked her if I should still come up she said yes, and when I come knocking on the door then she will tell me if im the one or not and if im not I will be standing there alone and hurt. I dont know what to do...I mean I asked this girl to marry me bc I know she is the one for me, Im so hurt and confused she says we are broken up but still together, Im not sure if I should just move on...or maybe she will realize the mistake she has done, since I have been there and done everything for her to make sure she was happy, I have even given her so many chances since we have been together..I just dont want to be alone again like I was before I met her. sad
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Sep 17, 2011 4:21 pm
Have you two met in person then? Or is this a phone/internet only relationship so far?
If you two have not met in person, then I cannot blame her for being a bit hesitant about the relationship. There's actually quite a bit that you can't tell about a person until you meet them in person. I've met a few people from the internet, and none of them were quite what I was picturing from our conversations online and on the phone. So I would never totally commit to someone without meeting them in person first. And if she's saying that she can't tell you whether or not she'll want to be with you until after she meets you in person, then I can relate to that part.
But that doesn't give her the right to string you along either. Before I met the guys in person, I was always up front with them. I let them know that I wouldn't commit to them until after we met in person, and maybe not even then if there weren't sparks in person. I let them know what I would most likely want from a relationship if there were sparks. I let them know if I was looking for something conventional or unconventional at the time. Etc. And then I met them as soon as possible.
So I could understand if she was hesitant to fully commit to you. But that doesn't explain why she wasn't honest about that upfront. Maybe she's changed her mind about what she wants. I could relate to that. But then that doesn't explain why she wants to see other people while still kind of seeing you even though it sounds like you're not comfortable with that (Some couples have an open relationship, which means that they are emotionally committed to each other, but they are free to see other people on the side for sex. But in those cases, both people need to be fully comfortable with it for it to work.) So that makes it sound like she wants to see what else is out there while still having you close by in case there isn't anything better. And I can even relate to that. I mean, it would be kind of nice to see what's out there and to have someone to full back on in case there's nothing too great out there. But if you don't want to explore what is out there and if you are not 100% comfortable with her exploring what is out there while she keeps you as a "just in case," then that's not fair to you. And in that case, I would have a serious talk with her if I were you. If you two haven't met in person, maybe a meeting could clear up a lot of her doubt and confusion. Otherwise, I would let her know that I understand her desire to explore, but I don't want to be on the back burner, and I want to be with someone who's sure they want to be with me.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Reply
