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 Posted: Mon Oct 03, 2011 4:41 pm
So usually I am not a jealous person at all. I don't care if my boyfriend checks out other girls, I laugh if I catch him. I don't care that most of his female friends have had crushes on him, or that he's naturally a slight flirt. I don't care that he is touchy-feely with his female friends. Most of the things that people would usually get jealous or insecure about I'm pretty okay with. So this jealousy is kinda out of character out of me.
But I am really jealous of my boyfriend's best friend, and I'm not sure why. She's a girl, but then all of his friends are and it's always been like that. She's really attractive, much prettier than me I think. Not his type in several ways, but also his type in others. She kinda has some emotional issues, which cause her to be really bitchy and shitty to him, and while he gets angry at her, he always forgives her when she's started being nice again. This last time was the worst with her completely ignoring him, and being really bitchy and keeping him from hanging out with some of his other friends. Finally he was fed up and confronted her and she apologized and wants to be his friend again.I am quite sure she has a crush on him, and that's what causes her bouts of bitchiness
I just don't get why she makes me so jealous. Her and his's other friend are really into photography and every time I see a picture of her or her and him I just get moody and jealous, but I don't care about the photos with his other female friends.
He talks about her a lot especially when they are having issues, and I'm always supportive because I know she means a lot to him, and that she's the first friend in a while that he's really clicked with.
She is really attractive, I showed a friend her picture, and she looks like a model
Logically I know my boyfriend doesn't have any romantic interest in her, and I'm usually never jealous, so I dont' understand why I am now, nor how I can make myself not be jealous.
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Posted: Wed Oct 05, 2011 2:27 pm
Not sure you're describing Jealousy here. I mean, it could be, I am not sure of every feeling you are holding toward this girl. Though to me it just sounds like you're looking out for the well being of the person you care about. If she is very moody and has bouts of anger at your boyfriend for little to no reason, on a semi regular basis I can understand your feelings. That situation has to be horrible on him in terms of stress, and not much better, potentially worse for you.
If your boyfriend considers her one of his best friends it is a little tricky as to what action you can take though, Especially since he has forgiven multiple times. Perhaps sit down with him and discuss the stress that she puts him under, with some discretion of course.
As a last note, you give your self too little credit, I am sure. Physical appearance may be in her favor between the two of you, but you and your boyfriend are together for a reason. Physical attraction should mean absolutely nothing if the beauty torments others emotionally.
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Posted: Wed Oct 05, 2011 3:18 pm
I know what you're feeling. My boyfriend is really friendly and girls have fallen for him until they knew he had a girlfriend. But one of his first friends he made at school when he transferred over slowly over time grew a crush for him, then we started to go out; both of us didn't know she liked him like that and about 6 months into our relationship she began to say things to other people about me that were not true. This ended up dragging her family in and ect.. They stopped talking and all, but ever since then I haven't been too fond of other girls around unless I truely knew/felt that they would not do something like that. I tell him that I trust him, but everyone else I don't. I know that's kinda.. off? Idk, but if she does seem to be a bother and put stress on you, tell him; tell him that she does that to you. Even though she is his friend, she should have a little more respect than that.
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Posted: Sat Oct 08, 2011 5:42 pm
Thank you both. I ended up talking to him about it, and he helped me feel at least less insecure about her, and felt really bad for making me jealous, even if it wasn't really his fault or anything. Once things with him and her are worked out, he wants me to hang out with them occasionally because he thinks it'll help if I see how they interact.
I think the main problem has been my self esteem is really low lately.
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