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 Posted: Fri Jan 27, 2012 5:44 pm
Hey guys, I want a little help.
I feel like I'm in a conundrum.
I'm kind of in love with a guy. He and I dated a year ago, and the timing just wasn't right. He's still working on becoming a strong Christian man, and is dealing with so much sadness and temptation.
basically, he doesn't know yet that he can't do it. He's depressed and feels unimportant, and is really relying on his friends for comfort and identity when he should rely on God.
Well, he's not dating anyone until he graduates this spring, but he thinks he wants to marry me. I'm not opposed to it, but I know right now he is not the kind of man God wants for me, so I'm staying hands off until he figures things out. I don't feel like it's my role to be a spiritual mentor. At this point in time, no, I would not marry him.
He needs to figure it out himself independent from me.
Well, I had an idea just now, and I want to know what you guys think. If you like it, I'll need your help. If it's a bad idea, let me know.
I was thinking about sending him a bible verse to his mailbox anonymously, to just encourage him. But then I figured he'd know it's me and it would be too hands on.
So I was wondering if anyone would be interested in mailing him a bible verse from wherever you are. I don't want it to be a letter about any of the above information, don't put your return address on there, just a bible verse. an anonymous bible verse.
Preferably, it would look like this. A piece of paper, the same size as the envelope so it isn't folded, with a bible verse printed on it.
If you can print his address on the envelope, that would rock too.
just a thought, is this a good idea? or just weird?
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Posted: Fri Jan 27, 2012 8:18 pm
Why are you so strongly committed to being 100% "hands off" with this guy? I mean, just being his friend, offering advice (be it spiritual or just the how-to-get-through-your-day sort of advice), and maintaining a platonic friendship with him could potentially be very helpful for him, and regardless of whether or not you want to marry him, it sounds like you do care for him. Are you worried that involving yourself in his life might be sending him mixed signals? Is he likely to take your interest in his life and overall well-being as some sort of commitment for the future?
Depending on who he is, I don't think your idea is really a bad one, though I know a lot of people who would be creeped out and downright frightened if they started receiving anonymous, personalised post. But if he's not the sort of person to be bothered by that sort of thing, then I don't think it's a bad idea, but I still don't see why you shouldn't send it yourself, even if he does know it was you who sent it.
Sometimes people who are having problems in their life, spiritual or otherwise, just need to know that someone here on Earth cares and is looking out for them. I know that personally, I would have lost my faith in any sort of God long ago were it not for some of the amazing, wonderful people I've known.
I do agree that we should look to God in times of crisis, but that doesn't mean that we shouldn't look to our loved ones as well for love and support. God often shows His love for us through others, or at least that's what I firmly believe.
But of course, ultimately you know this person and his situation better than I do. If you have considered the above and still feel an anonymous bible verse is the best thing you can do for him, hell, I'd be willing to do it, though it might be better if someone geographically closer to you volunteered, since postage would be a b***h and a half for me. And anonymous post from overseas might be even creepier than domestic anonymous post. confused
Edit: Also, HI, IT'S BEEN AGES, HOW THE HELL ARE YOU? heart
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Posted: Mon Jan 30, 2012 11:41 am
...Hmmm taking a totally "hands off" approach can do more harm that good. Also, the anonymous bible sending, if it obviously isn't you anyway could seem like a "creey stalker" type of deal. Seriously if one of those was mysteriously sent to me by the mail I'd be lookin' out the window every time I went to the porcelain throne.
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Posted: Thu Feb 02, 2012 2:27 pm
I think that's a fun idea. I'll help you if you want. ^_^ Though perhaps we could consider something from a saint or a contemporary writer as well? My best comfort came from ARISE FROM DARKNESS by Father Benedict Groeschel (last year my family's house was foreclosed on, and we had no money or family to fall on at all, no one in my family could find work). Don't know if this one would be the best fit though ... you know more about his situation than I do. I'll keep tabs on this thread, but it might be faster for you to PM me. I had a friend who slipped Miraculous Medals into her friend's room, put them under his mattress, etc. "Holy Bullets," you know. wink They really work! I give them to people directly all the time, and never been refused. That can be also be a subtle way to show him you care, and carefully open him to discussion with you. I'm a major introvert, and worse a Feeling Type (INFJ, Meyers-Briggs), so I detest open approaches unless I'm invited to do so. Even then, it can be really uncomfortable. BTW, to the "creepy stalker comments" ... I've gotten anonymous verses before, and it either a. pleased me or b. I didn't feel much of anything. Maybe its just my exposure to Protestants, but there's no reason for something from the BIBLE or to scare someone. confused Are there any serial murderers who've tried that, outside of television? Lol. whee
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Posted: Mon Feb 06, 2012 11:59 am
SinfulGuillotine Why are you so strongly committed to being 100% "hands off" with this guy? I mean, just being his friend, offering advice (be it spiritual or just the how-to-get-through-your-day sort of advice), and maintaining a platonic friendship with him could potentially be very helpful for him, and regardless of whether or not you want to marry him, it sounds like you do care for him. Are you worried that involving yourself in his life might be sending him mixed signals? Is he likely to take your interest in his life and overall well-being as some sort of commitment for the future? Depending on who he is, I don't think your idea is really a bad one, though I know a lot of people who would be creeped out and downright frightened if they started receiving anonymous, personalised post. But if he's not the sort of person to be bothered by that sort of thing, then I don't think it's a bad idea, but I still don't see why you shouldn't send it yourself, even if he does know it was you who sent it. Sometimes people who are having problems in their life, spiritual or otherwise, just need to know that someone here on Earth cares and is looking out for them. I know that personally, I would have lost my faith in any sort of God long ago were it not for some of the amazing, wonderful people I've known. I do agree that we should look to God in times of crisis, but that doesn't mean that we shouldn't look to our loved ones as well for love and support. God often shows His love for us through others, or at least that's what I firmly believe. But of course, ultimately you know this person and his situation better than I do. If you have considered the above and still feel an anonymous bible verse is the best thing you can do for him, hell, I'd be willing to do it, though it might be better if someone geographically closer to you volunteered, since postage would be a b***h and a half for me. And anonymous post from overseas might be even creepier than domestic anonymous post. confused Edit: Also, HI, IT'S BEEN AGES, HOW THE HELL ARE YOU? heart Yeah, I'll keep all that in mind! It might be a little while before I do it, I have to feel where he is first. He's such a sweet guy, he's just really lost and is having a hard time with the transition from a secular life to a life for God. Maybe if he asks, I'll say I did it. I do those kinds of things all the time because I'm weird, like the other day I snuck into my friend's room and left chocolate and a card because her dog died. I'm kind of weird. yes, for you the postage would be HELL! Are you still in France? I was in Paris a few weeks ago. HAHAHA, yeah, it has has been a while, hasn't it? I worked on a ranch in Wyoming last summer with no internet access, and then I studied abroad in Ireland for four months and traveled around Europe for a while until just a few weeks ago, so I've been a little distracted. It's been awesome, though! I got to go to church at Westminster Abbey and St. Paul's for Christmas. I also hitchhiked to C.S. Lewis's grave.... so how am I? A little insane these days. hahahahahaha. How have you been, good friend?!? and how are things here? I'm really only still on gaia for this guild. You guys rock.
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Posted: Mon Feb 06, 2012 12:11 pm
Lady_Imrahil I think that's a fun idea. I'll help you if you want. ^_^ Though perhaps we could consider something from a saint or a contemporary writer as well? My best comfort came from ARISE FROM DARKNESS by Father Benedict Groeschel (last year my family's house was foreclosed on, and we had no money or family to fall on at all, no one in my family could find work). Don't know if this one would be the best fit though ... you know more about his situation than I do. I'll keep tabs on this thread, but it might be faster for you to PM me. I had a friend who slipped Miraculous Medals into her friend's room, put them under his mattress, etc. "Holy Bullets," you know. wink They really work! I give them to people directly all the time, and never been refused. That can be also be a subtle way to show him you care, and carefully open him to discussion with you. I'm a major introvert, and worse a Feeling Type (INFJ, Meyers-Briggs), so I detest open approaches unless I'm invited to do so. Even then, it can be really uncomfortable. BTW, to the "creepy stalker comments" ... I've gotten anonymous verses before, and it either a. pleased me or b. I didn't feel much of anything. Maybe its just my exposure to Protestants, but there's no reason for something from the BIBLE or to scare someone. confused Are there any serial murderers who've tried that, outside of television? Lol. whee hahaha, yeah, I think it's my regular exposure to protestants that gave me the idea. They are a little more free spirited in their bible sharing! It's funny you mentioned the meyer-briggs things, I'm INFJ as well!! I have been for years, and it doesn't seem to change. I take a very "Amelie Poulain" approach to life, which may be good or bad, haha. It's either really freaking adorable or creepy. Let me know what your ideas are, he's struggling with finding identity right now. He has all secular friends and feels a little alienated. He really wants to be good, but doesn't know how. He's working on building a relationship with God through prayer right now... he's just very overwhelmed. We can brainstorm on it a little!
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