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 Posted: Fri Mar 02, 2012 12:16 pm
Hello everyone, I'm back once again sweatdrop
I have a question, I'm not sure if belongs here, but I feel like it should. Anyways, my question is: Why would a girl look for or think of all the negative things in her relationship?
Now I ask this because my girlfriend broke up with me a few months ago. I kept in contact with her until Jan. after which she flipped out on me and told me to loss her number and all that. I tried to reach her some time after but no luck.
A few weeks ago I seen her older sister who she lives with now. She's had her number changed and all that. Anyways this was the first time I met this sister so she told me that my ex mentioned me but had nothing good to say about me. In my mind I was like wtf. I never did anything really bad to the girl, maybe I was a bit clingy but aside from that I always supported her and I never said anything bad. I might have told her she was gaining a bit of weight once sweatdrop but I said it in a way that she didn't get offended.
Anyways, I love this girl and although It's been a month since I've seen or even heard from her my heart can't bare to let her go. But that's not something I'm looking to discuss at the moment.
Anyhow, everyone I know things I'm a nice guy and I know I treated her right so she had to look pretty hard have so much to say about me that she had nothing good to say. I'm thinking that maybe she's trying to convince herself I wasn't as good as she thought and wants everyone else to think so too. And because of that I'm hurt, I have to scrap the bottom of my heart just to find inspiration to draw or write or practice guitar and even then I can't even bare to get deep into it. And instead of things getting better or the thought of her slowly fades, my feeling for her seem to only grow...
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Posted: Fri Mar 02, 2012 9:17 pm
Sometimes people just aren't compatible. She is clearly far from interested, so all you can do is move on. There's no point in thinking about her. You're just torturing yourself.
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Posted: Fri Mar 02, 2012 9:23 pm
I would honestly move on and not think about it, if its really killing you about why she would think it was a negative relationship ask your friends personal opinion, you can't just see it from your point of view you have to see it from other's point of view and maybe there was something you just didn't notice...that's just me though.
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Posted: Fri Mar 02, 2012 11:32 pm
I wouldn't do this.. but my friend had a similar issue.. So he decided to treat his Ex like s**t to prove her right.. It shocked the hell out of her and everyone around her thought it was hilarious, because before he did that, everyone knew she was full of it and they still think she is full of it.. Some people just play that stupid victim game.
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Posted: Sun Mar 04, 2012 11:55 pm
I appreciate the replies, but I find it hard to take any of the advice given because of a few reasons. The most important one is this, the few people that I've brought this up to have mixed suggestions, then again I give them more details, but my point is, the ones that say I should just move on say, just that like it's really that easy like I can just forget her like that no problem.
I see this as a place to talk about things bothering me so I'll just say this, I'm gonna guess some of you are younger than me, maybe not. However, I didn't just like this girl, I loved her, I don't know how many of you that have replied thus far have been in love, and I'm not talking about love where you say "I love you" but don't really mean it. I mean where you tell them up front you love them and you mean it with ever part of you and they say it back with that same feeling in return. I'm only assuming those things because the things you've said don't seem to have much back bone to it.
I'm sorry if I offended anyone in saying that, but I felt like that needed to be said.
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Posted: Mon Mar 05, 2012 7:20 am
Lust Inc I'm gonna guess some of you are younger than me, maybe not. However, I didn't just like this girl, I loved her, I don't know how many of you that have replied thus far have been in love, and I'm not talking about love where you say "I love you" but don't really mean it. I mean where you tell them up front you love them and you mean it with ever part of you and they say it back with that same feeling in return. I'm only assuming those things because the things you've said don't seem to have much back bone to it. I'm sorry if I offended anyone in saying that, but I felt like that needed to be said. I am 28 years old. I am older than most people here and am probably older than you too. I have broken up with people, and I have been dumped. I have had three long-term relationships, one for four years, one for a year and a half, and one for five and a half years and counting. I live with my current partner, and I lived with one other long-term partner. And my advice is also to forget about her. So this isn't a "you wouldn't say that if you were older/you wouldn't say that if you had more experience" type of issue. This is the type of issue where, if what you say is accurate, anyone with any sense would tell you to get over her. Just because we say you should get over her, that doesn't mean that we don't know what you're going through or that we think that getting over her will be easy or instant. It just means we think you should try to focus on other things, do things that take your mind off her, try to meet other girls, try to find inspiration in other things, etc. I mean, the girl dumped you months ago, then yelled at you and told you to stop calling when you tried to stay in touch, then changed her number because you still wouldn't leave her alone. So what else can we say? It's not like we're going to say, "Keep trying, buddy, it sounds like she's interested in giving you another shot!," you know? Maybe you thought you were good to her, but it looks like maybe she didn't agree for whatever reason. We don't know why she didn't agree, and honestly, it doesn't really matter. It's been months, and it sounds like she still stands by her decision to not have you in her life. That's all that matters. So just do what you can to keep your mind occupied with other things for now. Unless you want her to dislike you even more than she already does and maybe get a restraining order against you, that's pretty much your only option anyway. It might take time and it might not be easy, but you will be able to move on eventually.
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Posted: Mon Mar 05, 2012 1:08 pm
Pretty much what Lorien said. It wasn't advice given based on age, it was advice given based that going by what you've told us, she's pretty clearly not interested in you and continuing to pursue her isn't going to do you or her any favors.
And yeah I've been in that boat. I know what it's like to care about someone who wants nothing to do with you. It is a really shitty situation, and it hurts. But you will learn to heal and move on.
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Posted: Mon Mar 05, 2012 6:38 pm
I'm 24, been married for a few years with a kid on the way. Pretty sure I know what love is.
And she doesn't love you, so sorry, you have no choice but to move on. Unless you want to be that creepy guy she tells all her friends/the police about.
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