Valgex
New question. The first time I ever tried to start a relationship was in fifth grade. Funny thing is, she told me this, "My mother said I can't date till I'm in College" Well now she's in College, still lives in the same state as I, just a different and distant city. A big reason for me wanting to move where she is at is to possible start a relationship.
A few months back, she practically nudged me over the internet and via text messaging on the phone to come up where she is at and go to the same College as her.. Seemed like a big enough hint to me that she may be interested?
Now I know doing something like that is a big risk. Taking all your stuff and moving to a farther away city just for the possibility of getting into a relationship. But I have others reasons I'd like to move too.. A new type of environment, the city is surrounded by more beautiful terrain. I don't know anyone there, so its a chance to start out fresh and be away from what appears to be a growing craziness in my town.
So what exactly should I do.. I know I need to do research of the area in terms of jobs and housing, but what other steps should/must take before doing this?
Speaking as someone who has spent the last several years doing exactly what you've just described (putting all your eggs in one basket basically), just be careful. Do your research before you jump to any decisions. For example if you two talk and you confirm that she wants you to go to the same college as her, look into what kind of college it is and what it has to offer you. Some things to research include:
- How much would it cost to move close enough to attend this college?
- Are there any programs you'd like at this college?
- What kind of degree/certification could you get, and what kind of employment would be available to you once you got it? (either locally or elsewhere)
- How much would said program cost, and where would the financing come from? Would you need student loans?
- Would you be living on campus in a dorm, or off campus?
- What ammenities are located in the city/town where this college is? Is there transit available? (if you don't drive)
Basic living things to consider include:
- If you and this girl are both living off campus, would you live together or seperately? If together, how will you split rent and expenses?
- What kind of job would you get to pay your share of the bills? What kind of job would you be looking for?
- What seems to be the average wage for ____ type(s) of jobs?
- What is rent like in the city/town where this college is? What is the cost of living like? Cost of gas? (if you drive)
If you've done your research and you decide that you want to attend this college with her, you could always go up and visit it in person and then, depending on registration dates, potentially register the semester after her. Just be sure to double-check because some post-secondary institutions only offer enrollments once or twice a year, versus some which offer it every semester.
Lastly, although you may not want to, it's important to have a back-up plan in place. It should include things like:
- What would happen if you decided to drop school mid-semester, or at the end of a semester? Would your schooling be affected/is there a formal procedure that needs to be followed with the college?
- If you and this girl are living together, would you stay living together or would you move out? (If you move out, then you need to re-address the above questions regarding rent and expenses)
- Would you consider moving back home to where you are now? How much would it cost?
Another option would be to visit her on campus and get a relationship started, so that you have a foundation to build on instead of winging it by moving across the state and hoping everything works out. Then once you had a relationship started, and you both felt it was strong enough, then you could look at moving across the state to attend the same college with her.
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