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 Posted: Mon Apr 28, 2014 6:45 pm
 No one really messed with Darren at school. He worked out, had tattoos, smoked and gauged his ears. He was the “bad boy” that ran with gangs and tagged walls at night and didn’t go home on most nights because he couldn’t stand to be there. He either crashed on a friend’s couch or on the streets. He had a few friends, but most of the people he went to school with, he didn’t even bother associating with. They were all stuck-up jerks that thought they were the center of the universe. God, they were annoying. You would think after eighteen-odd years of life, they’d get over themselves. Nope.
Darren breathed in the cancerous smoke, exhaling with a sigh as he leaned out of his window, only in his boxers. He had slept at home tonight. First time in a month. However, that wasn’t the most significant fact of the evening. He had had his first dream. A dream, of course, about his so-called soulmate. Didn’t seem like someone he would want to spend the rest of his life with, however. Prissy, a few years younger than himself. He didn’t really care that he was a guy. He’d had sex with a guy before, and he didn’t mind it. As long as he was the one doing all the ******** and not being ********. “God...this is gonna suck. I’m gonna have to see him every night now. s**t..,” he mumbled, breathing out another puff of smoke and scratching at his tattooed arm.
He scowled down at his cigarette, noticing it burned down, and scraped the end on the underside of his window outside. He then flicked it away and shut the pane, flopping back down onto his bed. He ran a hand through his hair and closed his eyes, letting out a deep sigh. Guess it’s time to go face my nightmares… he mused and forced himself back into unconsciousness.
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Posted: Mon Apr 28, 2014 8:20 pm
In a panic, there the small blonde sat up in his bed, utterly confused. His generally tidy hair was pass bed-head at this point and had developed into a level of rat's nest only a good comb could tackle. He didn't understand at first what had happened to him. He wasn't too young for dreams, but honestly if that was supposed to tell him about his soul mate, he didn't want to be dreaming. There were several things wrong with his dream. To start off, the person he dreamed of was a man... How could he possibly be soul mates with a man! He was a bloody Thompson! His parents were so rich they could burn millions of dollars out on the front lawn every day for the rest of their lives and still have enough to keep three generations down comfortable. He could buy anything he wanted, but what he couldn't afford was his parents finding out their only son was gay. They wanted grand kids. They wanted a lineage. All of which was a little hard to do when you were with a person that physically couldn't give his parents what they wanted. Plus the idea of being with a man outright disgusted him. He was a fairly attractive man, so he could just about have the pick of any girl he wanted. If you could have any girl you wanted, why would you even begin to want a man. It just didn't make any sense to him.
Of course the fact that his soul mate might be a guy wasn't even close to the only problem. The guy he dreamed of was this dirty, tatted, street kid. To be completely truthful, he was pretty sure the guy was everything wrong in society. Not only that, the guy smoked and drank and who knows what else. Maybe this guy had been to prison before... Or even worse, the guy was in prison right now. There's just had to be a mistake. Maybe a person didn't only dream of their soul mate. Maybe they could also dream of their mortal enemy or something of that nature. There just had to be another explanation as to why he had dreamed of this guy. Even if he could get pass the fact that he was a guy, the dude looked like someone that was going mug him, not love him for until the end of their lives. He was only seventeen, and now he just felt like his life was over all thanks to some stupid biochemistry or unknown force of nature that told everyone who they were meant to be with.
As his eyes adjusted to the darkness around them, he locked eyes with the picture of his great-grandfather that was hanging in his room. If his soul mate really was a guy, just think of how big of a disappointment he was going to be to his family. They had practically being planning out his entire life since the day he was conceived. They weren't just going to accept some thug off the street as his soul mate. As his eyes finally settled on the name plate at the bottom of the picture, he sucked in a deep breath and spoke out the name he was given in honor of the man. "Russell Thompson.... oh what have I gotten yourself into now..." He mumbled in observation to himself. Maybe it was possible to get around the soul mate thing. So what if he couldn't be completely happy in all aspects of his life. As long as he could successful, he didn't need a soul mate. The vast wealth he could one day inherit was more than enough to buy him a wife and mild happiness. True love really was overrated anyway.
With the thought to just throw out the whole soul mate garbage, Russel Thompson laid his head back down and allowed himself to return to sleep. However, his mind easily wandered back to the man that was supposedly his soul mate as soon as he had fallen back to sleep. The guy was messy and quite literally the exact opposite of him, but in his dreams, they clicked... There they were laughing together as they talked for hours and playfully talking about how they were going to spend the rest of their lives together. It was easy to write off in the real world, but in the dream world it was hard to deny that Russel wanted the guy... even if it was due to some kind of biochemistry or force of nature.
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UnDeadReaper95 Vice Captain
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UnDeadReaper95 Vice Captain
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Posted: Tue Apr 29, 2014 9:37 am
Darren had enjoyed his dream probably more than he should have let himself, what with the circumstances of his “soul mate.” He sighed and ran his hand down his face before ruffling up his hair. He sat up and stared at his wall for a bit, recalling the dream.
They had walked around downtown for a long time, just talking while Darren showed him the sights. The sights being mostly murals he had done on the outsides of buildings and showing him where to avoid on the streets. They ended up going to a small park and sitting on a bench to talk some more. Then Darren lit up a cigarette, the prim and proper male sitting beside him immediately protesting. Darren had just smirked and took a long drag, breathing it out towards him like a douchebag. That’s when he woke up.
“Okay, I’ve got to stop thinking about this,” he grumbled and pulled himself out of bed. He showered and got dressed for school, shaking his hair out and spraying himself down with his Axe. He pulled his favourite boots on over his ratty black jeans and heaved his bookbag over his shoulder. He then walked through his house and exited it, walking to school.
“Dude,” he said to his friend as he walked up to him, lounging against the brick wall of the courtyard. “So, uh. I had my first dream last night. It definitely...wasn’t what I was expecting,” he told him, a slightly perplexed look on his face.
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Posted: Tue Apr 29, 2014 9:38 am
For having the terrible dreams about the gangster, Russel slept relatively normal after falling asleep the second time. He wouldn’t admitted it out loud, but the dreams made it a lot easier to sleep. Yes, everything in the dream was irrational and certainly irrealistic, but it was comforting to talk to the guy… the guy being Darren… or at least that is what he called himself. He wasn’t fake or plastic. He was as real of a person as you could get. He didn’t care about what Russel was supposed to be, he only seemed to care about what he was. He didn’t have to be who his parents wanted him to be around him…
Russel frowned deeply at the thought as he washed his face in his bathroom sink. He had never met this guy, nor did he want to, and yet based off one night he was claiming that Darren understood his inner being. It was impossible, simple as that. This guy knew absolutely nothing about him, he didn’t understand his life or the pressures he was in. Not only that, as long as he didn’t go seeking this guy out they would probably never cross paths. He could continue on in his little perfect bubble of a life claiming he never started dreaming. Yes, it was the perfect plan. He would just keep on like nothing had happened at all, and eventually he could go online or something like that and find someone that was willing to just lie and say they were his soul mate. Most people didn’t go looking for those kind of people, but they did exist. They were the people that didn’t have a soul mate anymore because their match had died somehow. No one would know he was keeping his real, gay soul mate a secret as long as he never met the guy. The guy probably wouldn’t like him anyway. People from two different worlds just didn’t work together. You couldn’t just break social boundaries like that. It just made it awkward and torture for all parties.
Russel nodded to himself in the mirror with a smirk as he felt reassured now. He dried his face off with a towel before he continued his morning routine. Uniform, hair, watch, breakfast with the family, down to the car to be driven to school. Once he was at school, he found it particularly easy to pretend like nothing had happened. He went to one of the best prep-schools in the country, which basically meant that everyone was pretending to be someone or something they weren’t to try and look better. Normally, you either studied all the time and pretended to be social or you were social all the time, and were pretending to look brilliant. Russel was more on the smarter end of the spectrum since he was so rich that he could pretty much buy all the friends he wanted. Most people he just found not worth his time.
“Oh really, who did you tie the knot with?” His friend Jordan asked sarcastically as he pulled out a cigarette and started to light it. They technically weren’t supposed to smoke on school grounds, but most of the teachers and staff couldn’t care less about anything the students did. They were just here to get paid. If they actually cared about education and doing something productive with their careers, they would be teaching at the prep school one town over. It was supposedly one of the best in the country, but Jordan didn’t believe it. If it was that fantastic, then it wouldn’t be right next such to a crappy city like theirs.
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UnDeadReaper95 Vice Captain
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UnDeadReaper95 Vice Captain
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Posted: Tue Apr 29, 2014 9:39 am
Darren ran a hand through his mussed-up hair and sighed. "This guy named Russel, I think. He's a prissy, stuck-up little b*****d that's prim and proper. His family's also apparently super ******** rich." He swiped the cigarette from Jordan's lips and took a drag of it himself. "Now how the hell is someone like me suited for someone like him? And vice-versa? I mean, they say opposites attract or whatever, but we are in two different worlds, man. There's gotta be a glitch in my biology or something, which would totally happen to me." He took another drag and passed it back. "This sucks."
"You still haven't had your dream yet, have you? Or did you, and you just dont want to tell me," he teased him, shoving his elbow into his friend's side playfully
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Posted: Tue Apr 29, 2014 9:56 am
His friend started to laugh openly at him. “Dude, what are you complaining about? IF the guy is rich, which I have been told it is pretty hard to lie about this stuff, than milk it for all it is worth. You have been dealt a crappy hand your whole life Darren, so now that fate finally is paying out, why you want to call it bad luck?? I think you should look up this kid, I mean if anything maybe he will toss a couple hundred thousands at you just to get you to go away.” Jordan said with as much enthusiasm as he could muster. It wasn’t much, but it was enough for Jordan to seem serious and not sarcastic.
They both grew up in the slumps and literally could barely afford the dirty they were walking on, so Jordan really could only see the opportunity in this. “And hey maybe you get like stupid lucky, and you’ll met this guy right and then you really will fall head over heels in love~! Then you’ll be set for live AND have a personal atm as a sugar daddy,” His friend continued, but this time his voice had lost it’s luster and was just sarcastic again. For people like them, soul mates were either here nor there most of the time. Yes, you can be dirty poor and in love, but you can live off love… It just doesn’t work like that.
“My dream mate or whatever? I met her one time a few months ago, She is scrapping to get through college and said something like she was focusing on her career and to check back when I had made something of myself. Isn’t that romantic?” He mumbled before taking a long drag on the cigarette. “You want to know what I think, I think it is a load of crap, the whole dream soul mate thing. Maybe in a perfect world every couple would work out, but there is just too many variables to consider for everyone to end up 100% happy.” His friend stated in a defeated voice as he finished his cigarette. Was there a part of him really thought that true love existed? Maybe, who really knew. All he knew was what he experienced himself, and in his experience, love was a load of complete crap.
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UnDeadReaper95 Vice Captain
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UnDeadReaper95 Vice Captain
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Posted: Tue Apr 29, 2014 10:57 am
Darren frowned over at his friend. Really, he was his best friend. While Jordan didn't run with gangs like he did or even get into as much s**t as Darren himself did, he was a nice anchor to reality for him. "Hey, man, maybe it is all bull. Maybe it's just a suggestion from your subconscious. You don't have to stick to what it says, just go out and find someone who feels the same about it and see how it goes with them," he tried to alleviate the situation, throwing an arm over his shoulders and pulling him in for a side-hug, a manly comfort.
The bell rang unexpectantly and Darren perked up. "Come on. Chemistry time. That should put you in a better place," he told him with a grin. He pushed himself to his feet. It was ironic. Darren and Jordan were two of the most run-down student in the school, but they both enjoyed school most days. They were also two of the most intelligent students in the school, though their grades didn't reflect it sometimes, but that's because the teachers were douchebags and didn't like them. Though, the chemistry teacher seemed to enjoy them being in class. The woman was mostly insane, but that was beside the point.
He snubbed out the cigarette they had shared after plucking it from Jordan's lips and threw his arm around his shoulders again as they walked. "I wonder what crazy experiment she has for us today. Maybe we'll get to blow something up again," he said excitedly, grinning at his friend cheekily.
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Posted: Tue Apr 29, 2014 10:58 am
Jordan didn’t seemed to be really fazed by the fact that Darren was trying to cheer him up. Most days Jordan just wasn’t a cheery person. He was sarcastic and a douchebag on a good day, yet every day there was Darren… trying to cheer him up. For someone that ran with gangs and lived a pretty hard life, Darren was just too happy for Jordan. Sometimes Jordan really thought they were best friends only because they were all each other had, but you know the fact that they knew every detail about one another seemed to help too. As he pushed himself up off the wall, he started to walk lazily next to Darren. After their morning chat, he really wanted another cigarette before class, but he didn’t want to be late.
Their teacher wouldn’t really care, but Darren seemed to really like the old bat and never liked to miss one second of her class for any reason. Therein, Jordan wasn’t allow to miss any of her class either since that was where Darren was. They really did stick together all the time like that. It was the only way to keep each other sane and safe . This school was full of rejects, thugs, and idiots, and it was really easy to get cornered in the wrong place at the wrong time… If you were smart, you didn’t go anywhere by yourself. It was the only way to not end up in the hospital since you never knew what was going to set someone off. This school really might as well be a mental hospital, not a school.
“No, I don’t think she is going to give you explosives again, or she really is too insane to teach anymore. You nearly set the whole lab on fire.” Jordan noted as they walked into the building and down the hall. As Jordan looked at the different faces that face, everyone looked run down here… No one was shiny and perfect, they couldn’t even fake being perfect. Everyone knew that everyone here was going to be the people that worked the minimum wage, dead-end jobs… it was just a simple fact of this life. Some succeed, and some fail before they even begin. Jordan pushed the thought from his head as they walked into the classroom. Maybe in the real world, he was destined to fail, but at least in here he could shine.
Upon entering, all the students were greeted by Ms. Campbell, who was bouncing around the room excitedly. “Oh, Oh, Fantastic news children! The school has just received a great, great honor! AND I just know that you kids are going to be the ones to reap the benefits of it!” She spoke at the top of her voice, almost shouting it to the heavens. Quickly she turned around and wrote the words, “Transfer Scholarship for Princeton Academy” on the board. “Now I know what you are thinking, why would I be happy about any of you leaving the school, well if you must know, this means a handful of students will get the chance to attend one of the best prep-school in the country for free, and How could I be sad about my babies succeeding!” She said happily as she set down the chalk. “Now if any of you are interested you can meet with me after class, but I need to know right away so I can help you get your paperwork started and we can get you ready for their interviews. This is completely, 100% one of the best opportunities for a high school student I have seen in a long time, so all you should take full advantage of it. But I should stop rambling on about that, and get to actual chemistry.” She stated as she flashed the applicant packets she had before setting them back down on her desk and starting her lecture on biomolecules.
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Darren smile when he saw his teacher bouncing around the room. God, she was always in an insanely good mood. He plopped down in his desk and listened to her speak excitedly. When she explained the scholarship, Darren turned to look directly at Jordan, eyes bright with excitement. "Dude, Jordan, that could be our ticket to make something of ourselves," he told him quietly. "We should both apply to get in. We're two of the smartest people in this school--we've got to get in." He looked at him hopefully. "Come on, apply with me? Please? I won't if you're not going to. Think about it," he told him, turning back to listen to his teacher.
When class was over, he stood and turned back to his friend. "So what do you think? Should we do it?" He asked him as he waited for his friend to gather his things. "I think it'd be better than staying in this dump and ending up like our parents and all the douchebags that will amount to nothing. If anyone here has a chance it's us," he told him, trying to convince him to apply because Darren wanted to. However, he wasn't going to leave Jordan there by himself. If he got in but Jordan didn't, he was staying there at this school with him. They'd suffer together.
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“Ughhh, fine, fine, whatever, we will apply, I guess… I mean you know we probably won’t get in right? I mean schools like that don’t take kids that are tatted up and look like they have been through the ringer. They want the kind of not crap kids so they can turn their life around and look even more successful. We are not the kind of not crap kids, Darren, we are the crap kids. You know that right?” Jordan asked as he tried to introduce Darren to a little thing all reality. The kid really did live up in the clouds too much. “NONSENSE! Here both of you take a packet and fill it out and then I’ll help you get everything else, if anything I think they would take you guys in because you would show the most improvement!” Ms. Campbell exclaimed happily having overheard them talking since the rest of the class and cleared out. Now it was too late, Darren wasn’t about to disappoint Ms. Campbell, and Jordan couldn’t disappoint Darren. Cursing loudly in his head about how this would never work, he begrudgingly took the application and stood up from this desk.
“I said I would do it, okay, you don’t need to continue arguing your point. Let’s go try for a miracle…” He said with a “It’s never going to happen” undertone.
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Darren grinned at his friend as he took a packet. "Good things do happen to people like us sometimes, Jordan. You'll see," he told him as they walked to break. "Look, we can have a smoke break now. That'll cheer you up." He said, pulling out his own pack and lighting one up as they leaned against their wall. He took a long drag and handed it off to his friend, glancing over the application in his hands.
"Dude, I think the only issue will be our averages, but compared to the rest of the school, were golden children in the instance of grades," he said, flipping through the pages.
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“All I am going to say about the whole thing is that I don’t think you should get your hopes up too high. I would hate to see this kind of thing mess you up, because they give it someone else… There I have said my peace, and now we are dropping the subject, because I need to smoke in peace before calculus otherwise I am going to have to kill someone in that class. I don’t even know why they offer calculus at this school, there really is only about five people including us that are versed in math enough to even do decent in it, everyone else that takes it are just there to ask stupid questions and look like morons.” Jordan rattled off as he took the cigarette and took a few long drags on it.
It was obvious that he was looking for the cancer stick to give him much more than it was ever going to. At this point, he really just wanted to be drunk or high, so he wouldn’t deal with anything around him. As he glanced down at the paperwork in his hand, he sighed a little. It was like getting to look at and hold a puppy that you know is just going to be run over by a car in a few days. Of course, he would never really tell that to Darren. Darren’s life was hard enough without Jordan being a douche about it. If Darren wanted to apply to the school and he wanted Jordan to join him, the worse that could happen was the exact thing he already knew was going to happen. They would be no better off than when they first started but at least Jordan didn’t have to be the one that shot Darren down.
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Darren’s smile faded a bit at Jordan’s words. Of course he shouldn’t get his hopes up high. But what else did he have? He didn’t have money to make him happy, he didn’t have good family, a steady job… He had Jordan, though he was usually downing himself and the things Darren said all the time. He had his intelligence and want to learn, but what was that going to get him if he couldn’t get out of this hell hole? He had hope. Hope could guide you through the darkest days on just a tiny speck of it. It could bring you to the light again, even if the next day was going to be just as dark as before. That’s what was wrong with Jordan, Darren thought. He had been let down so many times, he lost sight of any hope that there may be. That’s why Darren tried to stay the brighter of the two and encourage Jordan to see the potential he had. Yeah, Darren may know that he had a bit more of a shitty life than his friend, but he also knew Jordan wouldn’t stay afloat on his own. Darren was his bouy, and he wouldn’t let him drown.
He forced the smile back onto his lips as he shared the cigarette with his friend. “We’ll turn out great, you’ll see,” Darren told him in a not-all-there voice. He looked up at the sky, bright blue and sunny. He didn’t think it suited the area. He honestly thought the sky should always be grey and stormy with the way their city was, but he was glad it wasn’t. If it was grey and stormy, he wasn’t sure he could make it through every day without something beautiful to look at. “Hey, I’m gonna go city-crawling tonight and do another mural, I think. You wanna come?” he asked, looking over at his friend with slightly downcast brown eyes, but a smile on his lips. “No gangs, I swear. I know you hate that. Just me and you, if you wanna come with me. If not, I’ll go do it myself.” He took the last drag of cigarette and smashed it beneath his shoe as the bell rang. “Think about it. It’d be nice, just two buddies goin’ out for once. I dunno. Up to you,” he said as they walked, Darren shoving his hand in his pocket, other hand holding the packet of paper.
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Jordan shrugged a little at the offer. He really didn’t have anything better to do tonight, so why not just go deface public property. “Sounds cool to me, if I end up having calculus homework maybe I will just do it in spray paint on a wall. That will show the world how cool I am,” Jordan jokingly said as he took Darren up on his offer. Despite being best friends, Jordan knew when Darren was running with his gangs, they couldn’t hang out. Jordan had been in a gang before, and he didn’t feel any safer or better about his life so he got out. He went through hell to get out of that world, but he did it, because he knew that if he continued down that path he was going to end up dying in his early twenties. Darren was tougher than he was, so Darren could take that life even though Jordan couldn’t, but consequently, now Jordan couldn’t go around the gangs anymore, because some of the people still had grudges against him.
Luckily though, Darren made time for Jordan to come hang out with him like tonight. It wasn’t very often, but it did happen, so Jordan was thankful for that… well as thankful as a person like Jordan could be. As the bell rang and they corralled themselves back inside, Jordan said goodbye to Darren to see him after school since for the rest of the day they really didn’t see each other all that much. Just a few brief greetings and cigarettes in between classes before they were gone again.
The next three weeks seemed to pretty much uneventful for everyone. Darren and Jordan had put in their paperwork, and Ms. Campbell helped them go over it and spice it up so they looked decent to the scholarship committee. The only really exciting thing that happened at all was that after a week, the committee had notified the school of the kids they wanted to interview, and both Jordan and Darren were on the list along with fifteen other kids. They had two weeks to schedule the interview, but Ms. Campbell said they should do it as soon as possible so they can make a good impression of timeliness. Now it was Wednesday night, the day before Jordan and Darren had their interviews scheduled, and Russel’s life seemed to have gone to hell in a handbasket.
The past month was relatively okay. He was still having the dreams, but tonight was different. As he laid down terrified of what he would experience, he started to dream of Darren, but it wasn’t like before. This felt more real than all the other nights. He felt like Darren was really right next to him… which wouldn’t matter normally since they usually just talked all night about nothing… but tonight, they weren’t just talking. Russel had foolishly thought it would be interesting to see what Darren thought about making out with another guy… Which in turn led to exactly what anyone would naturally expect it to. “... Darren… wait… I don’t know if I can do this…” Russel breathed out as he slightly pushed the other away. They were laying on his bed, and as soon as Darren put his hand up his shirt, Russel knew what he wanted… But he just wasn’t sure if he could give him what he wanted. But this was just a dream right? Russel couldn’t tell anymore…
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Darren had been in such a good mood recently that he actually hadn’t minded his dreams with Russel. In his dreams, they got along much better than expected and had even began to hug on each other and hold hands every now and then. Then they had worked up to just pecks on the cheeks and lips.
Tonight, though. Tonight was different. Tonight, Russel felt more real than he had in the dreams over the course of the past nights. When he touched him, it was like he was actually touching him. It threw him for a loop, but he didn’t mind one bit. In fact, it made him a little more eager, knowing that this may actually be real.
He had started by kissing his lips...then moved to his jaw and downward as his hands roamed a bit. “Just relax..,” he had whispered against his neck, nipping at the sensitive skin as it met his shoulder. He had pushed Russel gently backwards on the unfamiliar bed. Was this Russel’s bed? He didn’t have the brain capacity to think about that right now. However, he did make a small connection in his brain, that if he felt more real, and this was his bed, maybe this was a more real-life happenstance. “Relax, and I’ll take care of you,” he whispered again, kissing his neck before looking up into his eyes with his own orange-brown ones. He leaned back down to kiss his jaw. “I promise I won’t hurt you,” he mumbled sweetly, sliding his hand up Russel’s side slowly so the other could get the feel of his rough, worn hands on his skin. He moved back to kissing his lips gently, whispering against them, “You can trust me,” as his other hand slid up to cup his jaw, thumb caressing the younger male’s cheek.
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As the other moved along his body, Russel almost felt petrified. He had kissed a girl before, but this was nothing like that. This was more intimate and personal than Russel had ever been with another person. Even his own parents barely touched him, so as Darren moved along his skin, it felt electrifying, but it scared him to know another person had so much control over him. His pleads for Darren to slow down seemed to do absolutely nothing as Darren continued to kiss his skin. His hands felt coarse along Russel’s perfect skin, which just made every touch more notable that something foreign was invading his personal bubble. He opened his mouth to protest again, but Darren’s words seemed to help calm the uneasy feeling building inside of him as they locked eyes. How Darren’s eyes were this golden hazel color, Russel didn’t really understand. Why couldn’t he have a simple eye color like him? Russel’s eyes were just about as natural blue as you could get. Of course, right now they were locked onto the unusual orange and brown colored ones pleading for trust... “I don’t trust anyone, though… how am I suppose to trust you?” Russel asked softly as they pulled back from another kiss.
“I just… I don’t think you understand how hard this is for me to grasp. I don’t get day to day physical contact…” Russel mumbled out softly as he clenched his hands a little behind Darren’s head from where he had wrapped his arms around him. After a moment of reflection, Russel turned away from Darren’s glaze and closed his eyes to breathe for a second. As the black haired male touched his face softly, Russel realized that this experience was probably good for him. He couldn’t live in his perfect little bubble forever. It was just irrealistic to think that he would be able to. “... I don’t want you to stop… just umm, take it slow okay?” Russel mumbled as he cautiously turned back to Darren with a questioning look. He wanted to be able to see that Darren wasn’t going to hurt him. He wanted this to be something tangible that he actually remember enjoying instead of just rushing through it to get it over with.
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Darren saw the tentativeness in Russel's eyes and body language. He knew he was uncomfortable, and no matter how long he knew someone, Darren didn’t like to make people uncomfortable unless he had good reason to.
He stayed quiet, even after the question of trust to let him think. When he turned away from him, Darren was sure that was it. He was ready to pull back and apologize when Russel's sudden words kept him there. "You're sure?" He asked, leaning down to press a kiss to Russel's jaw again. "I'll take it as slow as you need. Despite my outer appearance, I'm not a bad person...on a personality level, anyway. I don't plan on doing anything you're not comfortable with. I'm not into rape. I'd like to know you enjoy what I'm doing to you," he explained in a mumble as he kissed down his throat. "Can we take this off?" He asked, tugging on his shirt slightly. "You're welcome to take mine off, too, if it'll make you more comfortable. This is more about you than it is about me. I've done this before, so let's focus on your comfort, alright?" He told him, a small grin on his lips as he sat up onto his knees, straddling the smaller male's thighs. "We don't even have to go that far tonight. We have every night to see what happens, so just go until you want to stop," he assured him more, liking the feel of having someone to look after.
Any other time he kind of had to look after Jordan, but that was different. Russel was different. This was something new that Russel was experiencing, and it was Darren's job to take care of him, and he loved that feeling. It's what would make him a good father.
"I'll show you that I can be the one you can trust, " he told him, grin still on his lips as he waited for Russel to get his thoughts straightened out.
------
Russel nodded a little to Darren asking if he was sure. He needed to do this now or it was never going to happen. There was a million reasons why he shouldn’t do this, but he felt like this was what he really wanted. It had been so long since Russel had actually gotten a choice in the decision-making process of something that he knew that he couldn’t pass this up. “Okay… thanks for this…” Russel mumbled to him with a weak smile as he adjusted a little under the other. He had only really been able to talk with Darren for a little over a month now, but something still told him that Darren wasn’t lying to him. That he really could trust the other beyond all the reasons why he shouldn’t. “... umm okay,” Russel muttered a little in an agreeance before sitting up a little with Darren so that he could help him get their shirts off. As Russel reached for the other’s clothing, he really had to hold his tongue though. Darren looked like he was wearing a rag for a tank top. Honestly, Russel wasn’t even that terribly strong, and he could probably easily rip the thing in half without a second thought.
“Can we burn all your clothing eventually…?” Russel mumbled with a small smile coming to his face as he was growing more comfortable in the situation. With his hands on the rim of the top, he easily lifted it above Darren’s head and tossed it onto the floor. As the clothing fell to the ground, part of Russel wanted to hide it so he really could go burn it later on. That or just throw it away so he would never have to lay eyes on it again. What year was it even from? 1993? For all heaven’s sake, Russel needed a big holiday to come up so he could buy the other some new clothes that were actually somewhat decent.
Of course having been distracted by the clothing, he barely noticed the other’s chest until the turned back to him to say something about the shirt again. There were scars and marks and mess… and yet… Russel wasn’t that concerned with them, Russel had never really admired the male figure before except on himself, but Darren really made it easy to find the male figure attractive. “... you know for a hoodlum, you have a really nice body…” Russel complimented as he laid back onto his forearms. In his head, the thought to ask him if he looked so good because he was always on the run from cops crossed his mind, but he felt that would be mean so he didn’t say it.
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Darren had to laugh when Russel asked if he could burn his clothes. "Hey, now. When you live on the side of town I do, you gotta wear the clothes you have and not worry about looking your best. I don't get the opportunity to go buy new s**t every month," he told him, working on the buttons of Russel's shirt. "That's my best tank top right there," he said with a grin, getting another button off. "God, how do you go through this every day? That's it," he said with finality and grabbed the hem of each side of the shirt, ripping it open and causing buttons to fly everywhere. Darren just grinned in accomplishment as his eyes raked his thin, toned frame. "By the way, I take offense to that 'hoodlum' statement. You could at least use a better term. I like Street Rat. Makes me feel like Aladdin," he told him with a smug expression. "However, I will take the compliment half of it. Gotta stay in shape to protect yourself over there. Never know what's gonna happen or who you'll run into or what you'll accidentally witness. It's a tough life," he explained, leaning down to him again to plant a kiss on his cheek. "Gotta protect myself and those close to me, ya know?" He kissed along his jaw and nipped at his ear lobe.
"What's next, loverboy?" He asked sliding his mouth to his collarbone and biting the flesh there. Slowly, he moved down to his left n****e and teased it with his teeth before flicking his tongue over it and then switching to the right one as he waited for an answer.
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“Your best? Now you are just lying on purpose to upset me.” Russel said with a playful frown as he glanced back over to the tank-top on the floor. It really was terrible. There were holes and mystery stains… Russel actually cringed at the thought of what was done in the shirt since coming in Darren’s possession. The dirty shirt was nothing though compared to the horror that Darren performed next. “..Wait, what are you..? Darren! This is a three-hundred dollar shirt from Italy and you just ripped all the buttons off of it! Why on earth would you destroy a shirt like that? It was just some buttons, are you really that impatient?” Russel asked in utter shock as he looked down at his ripped shirt. No wonder all of Darren’s clothes were in terrible condition, he purposefully tore them up!
Russel glanced up at Darren with a small glare. “Yes, and I take offense to having my clothes destroyed.” He mumbled under his breath as he continued to listen to Darren continue on. The anger in his face dissipated though as Darren implied that he wanted to protect him. It was actually really cute, especially since Darren was kissing him again. “-ah… i don’t umm, know… you forget I have never done thisss before…” Russel groaned in reply to the question Darren asked as he was starting to tease his body. Of course, it really did beg the question of where Russel wanted this to progress to? Was he really ready to go all the way with another person? Or even more specifically, was he ready to go all the way with a guy?
It really was hard to decipher the feelings that were overtaking him since he had never really experimented like this before. All of Darren’s touches felt good in a weird way. Was it really supposed to feel this way or was it just because Darren was the one doing the touching? The blonde’s smaller frame arched as the raven-haired male moved his tongue over his n****e. He had tried to hold back his pathetic moans for more, but with that last move, Russel couldn’t help himself. “Ahh… Darren-...” He struggled for the words. He wanted for Darren to just continue with what he was doing because it felt so good, but at the same time, the erection growing in his shorts was starting to plead for attention. He wanted the other to continue, but he wasn’t quite ready to beg for it yet.
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Darren let a small smirk cross his lips at Russel’s whimpers. He moved back upwards, sucking on Russel’s neck and biting down slightly harder than he had before. “To answer your question...I am that impatient. Who cares about clothes when I get to touch all of this without them?” he asked, running his hands over Russel’s upper body and running a thumb over a pert n****e to tease. “I don’t care where it came from. As long as you have clothes on, I am a less-happy man than I should be,” he joked, moving back up to his lips and kissing him slowly, repositioning his hands so they cupped both sides of Russel’s jaw, thumbs caressing his cheeks again. He wasn’t sure why, but he just loved to touch any amount of Russel’s skin he could get his hands on. It was so much softer than he was used to. Everyone he knew well enough to touch them in any way, platonic or not, had calloused, rough skin from being on the streets or having a rough upbringing. Russel, though, was so pampered that his skin rarely ever got marred like Darren’s, and it was wonderful to feel something so much purer than what he was used to.
He left kisses all over his face with a playful smile. This was fun for him. It was like they were joking around with body language, and it was more refreshing than words. “Plus, why would you get only clothes that you couldn’t have any fun in? Go outside and run around, or just go for a walk, do something creative. What do you do all day? School and study? How boring. I manage to keep my grades up with all my...extracurriculars,” he told him, leaning down to nibble at his ear. Of course, he was definitely hard, but he wanted Russel to feel relaxed with what they may be about to do. He hummed as he kissed down his neck, poking his tongue out every now and then to taste his skin. Then he propped himself up on his elbows and looked down at him with a smile. “Oh, look, your hair’s all perfect. Can’t have you looking prettier than me,” he said with a grin and reaching up to ruffle up his hair. “There. Now we’re both hooligans with mussed-up hair. You’re just missing a few tattoos and some potential lung cancer and liver disease, then you could be just like me,” he said with a small laugh that died on his lips. “Never be just like me,” he told him in a quieter voice, looking into his eyes again. “I’m one person you don’t want to aspire to be. I’m not the worst, but I’m definitely not the best. And I’ll tell that to anyone. You don’t want to be just like me.” He leaned down and nuzzled his nose into the crook of Russel’s neck, breathing in deeply. He hadn’t meant to, but his own words had brought his more vulnerable side out for Russel to see.
He wasn’t trying to prove that he wasn’t as bad as he first looked, but it was more than likely working in that aspect. He really was a sweetheart that got dealt a bad hand and got himself into things he shouldn’t to try and make that bad hand go away, which only resulted in said bad hand getting more terrible. At this point, he had a hand full of jokers with an ace of hearts wedged in there keeping him in the game.
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Russel laughed a little at the comment about Darren being happier the less clothes Russel had on. It really was extremely drastic how different they were. Darren probably was used to being around people that dressed inappropriately and lounged around naked… Russel on the other hand… The only person that had probably ever seen Russel naked was his mother and the servants, and either of those instances hadn’t occurred in about ten years. He slept in pajamas, and honestly the only time he even went shirtless was when he was swimming. His whole life was surrounded around being as respectable as possible, 100% of the time. Darren… Darren was just this big gigantic curveball in his life.
“I dress like this, because this is what a respectable person wears. Maybe if I had more time for fun in my life, I really would dress in a tank-top and some jeans, but I don’t. Just about every minute of my day is planned out to the letter.” Russel informed Darren as he laid back and stared up at the ceiling above them. “My hair?” Russel asked questionably, but it was too late. “Ughh, Darren, why did you do that?” He asked as he quickly reached up to mend the disturbed hair. He had almost got it to lay correctly again, while Darren was rambling on, but he stopped when he heard Darren’s tone change. The blue orbs stared back into the golden ones as he was almost stunned by the words Darren was saying. Yeah, he thought about Darren having some bad parts about himself, but it was different to hear Darren himself say them.
After a moment of reflection, Russel sighed a little. “Well if I’m not allow to be you, then you aren’t allow to me either… No one really needs to have the kind of pressure that is put on me on them all the time. And I don’t think I would like you as much if you were all prim and proper like me… I guess I just like you for… well you…” Russel spoke out softly as he wrapped his arms around the other’s shoulders. Maybe in the real world what he was saying wouldn’t amount to much, but at least in his dreams he could be brutally honest with himself. He did like Darren, and he liked him because Darren was something he had never experienced before. Russel could listen and talk to him so much easier than anyone in his life, because Darren was real. No one in his life was real like Darren was, and hey if that made sense, then maybe the fact that Darren was his soul-mate made a little sense too.
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Darren had to let a smile slip onto his lips when Russel spoke. He lifted himself up and rested his forehead against Russel’s. “Good to know you actually do like me,” he said softly, kissing his lips again gently. He replaced his head on Russel’s chest and closed his eyes, listening to his heart as Russel’s arms wrapped around him. “I think I like this, just laying here,” he mumbled. “I’ve never really been able to just lay there with someone before. It’s nice,” he added, letting out a deep breath and relaxing his body. Whether he was still hard or not, which he was, he enjoyed just laying there with Russel’s arms around him. It was the first time he was really held by someone else, and it was really wonderful. “Ya know...I dunno if you feel the same, but...I kind of wish this wasn’t just a dream,” he told him in a quiet voice, not wanting to break the peace they had. Elbows still resting lazily on the bed, beneath Russel’s arms, he slid his hands up a bit to mess with a few locks of the blond, perfect hair.
“What a pair we are, hm?” he said with a soft chuckle. “Did you still want to...ya know..,” he asked, punctuating his question with a slight rutt of his erection against Russel’s groin. “Since I kind of ruined that whole atmosphere,” he added, lifting his head to look at him for an answer. “It’s all up to you. Choice is yours,” he told him, moving a hand down to cup his jaw again, running his fingers over his soft skin.
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"No, I get what you mean... The fact that this is a dream means at some point I have to face that this wasn't really real. This is just some fantasy my brains came up with on the spot to cope with deeper conflicts in my life... Hey but wait, if this is my dream how do know it is a dream too? I mean normally you just laugh off my notions that I am dreaming." Russel asked quickly as he processed what they were both saying. They both knew they were dreaming, so did that mean that their dreams were somehow interconnected? Did that make some part of this more real or was Russel just overthinking this dream? Russel had to know if what he was feeling real. He didn’t know if he could take having this intimate of a moment turn out to be nothing more than a figment of his imagination.
As Darren gave him the choice of whether or not to do anything else, Russel took a deep breath and realized there was only one way to know if this was real or not. If this was real, then Russel couldn’t fake Darren’s feelings towards the matter. If this was real then it had to be real for both them. “Yes… Yes, I want… I want to have sex with you.” Russel said starting out timid at first, but he quickly developed the courage he need to tell Darren what he wanted. As soon as he got the words out that the wanted, the blonde pushed their lips together again as he moved one of his hands from around Darren’s shoulder up into his messy Mohawk. He wanted this to be so real that even if it was a dream, the feelings still would be real. He wanted to experience something he never had before so he couldn’t dispute it later on. He had never had sex with a guy before, he had never even really thought about it, therefore he couldn’t make up having sex with Darren like this.
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Darren smiled into the kiss Russel pulled him into. He kissed back with just as much fervor, rutting against Russel’s groin again. “Mmgood,” he mumbled as he pulled back from his lips momentarily to suck at his throat. “It’s funny, though...that you think...it’s your dream...when it’s...actually mine..,” he murmured between kisses and bites, sliding his hand down to one of Russel’s hips and gripping onto it firmly, but not enough to hurt. His fingertips slid down into the waistband of his belted pants slightly, rubbing circles on Russel’s hip with his fingertips. He hummed against his neck, nuzzling his nose up beneath his ear before biting and pulling on the lobe with his teeth teasingly.
“Tell me if I go too fast, alright?” he asked him, moving his hand down to undo the belt one-handedly like a pro. Then he allowed his fingertips to dance along Russel’s trimmed happy trail and to slip down into his pants slightly. Then he slipped them back out and slid them slowly over the fabric and felt along the shape of Russel’s erection until he found the head. He circled his index finger tip teasingly over the sensitive area then cupped his groin gently, squeezing slightly. “Tell me what you want me to do, Russel,” he breathed into his ear, kissing his neck. He gave his groin another little squeeze, palming his erection. “I’ll do whatever you want. Just give me direction, and I’ll do whatever you want,” he murmured right into his ear.
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As soon as Russel gave Darren the okay, this switch seemed to just flip on. Suddenly Russel wasn't afraid of Darren hurting him or pushing to do something he didn’t want to do. Maybe it was his alter consciousness since some part of him knew this was a dream, but he didn’t mind going all the way anymore. Darren wasn't going to hurt him. He just needed to trust that Darren knew what he was doing. Every touch seemed to fire off sparks through all of his nerves, and he didn’t want it to stop. When Darren told him to tell him if he was going to fast, Russel almost wanted to tell him that he was going to slow. Was it even possible for a person to get this many chills all at once. “...I’ll tell you… just keep going…” He muttered just as some kind of answer so Darren knew that he heard him.
As the other danced around just full on grabbing his c**k, he had to bit his lip as his back arched again to keep himself from moaning out. His complete lack of sexual experience seemed to put Darren a high strategic advantage. Although, He didn’t want to seem easy, he was a virgin, and he really couldn’t help but to be putty in Darren’s very capable hands. Russel, at the moment, didn’t even fully understand everything Darren was doing or how he was doing it, but it feel amazing. Just as Russel was losing his control, he heard Darren ask him to instruct him on what he wanted him to do. “-ahh, I-... I don’t know… I just.. don’t want you to st-ahhh--op,” Russel moaned in a low voice as he tried to steady his words even though Darren a had firm grip on his c**k right now. It didn’t work, but at least he got out what he wanted to say. Russel had been trying to keep his eyes open, but the sake of controlling his moaning, he took the lesser of two evils and pushed his head back into his pillow as he tightly shut his eyes. Darren really had no idea of how much control he had over Russel at the moment.
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Darren smirked slightly at Russel’s moans. “Oh, I won’t stop,” he murmured, moving his fingers to flick open Russel’s button. He kissed down his throat and chest, pausing to play with his nipples along the way, and then down his belly. He rimmed his belly button with his tongue then dipped it inside teasingly before moving on down, fingers tugging on the waistband of Russel’s pants slightly. He dipped his head down and mouthed over Russel’s confined c**k, humming a bit in satisfaction when he could see precum leaking through the fabric. “Gonna get these nice, tidy pants all messy,” he purred and chuckled softly.
When he noticed that Russel’s eyes were still closed, he whispered, “Look at me, Russel,” and made sure the male’s glazed eyes connected with his own as he took his zipper into his teeth and slowly pulled it down. He grinned up at him crookedly then worked his pants down slowly, wiggling them off of him. “Mm, royal blue briefs. Suits you,” he murmured and nuzzled his nose against the still-clothed erection. Slowly he slid his fingers up and hooked them in the waistband of his underwear. “I’m gonna take these off now, okay?” he told him, making sure to breathe puffs of hot air onto his erection. He slowly pulled them off of him, eyes lighting up when he saw the hard d**k in front of his face bob and tap against the other’s belly.
Sitting up a bit, he yanked his bottoms off over his socks and threw them aside, returning to the task at hand. “Mm...this is okay, right?” he asked as he took the leaking length into his hand and gently pressed a kiss to the side of his shaft near the base. He licked up the full underside of him then gave him a few pumps of his hand, resting his cheek against Russel’s inner thigh and planting a kiss there as he looked at him for a reaction, a small, amused smile on his lips.
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Russel tried to respond to Darren’s comments, but every time Russel tried to speak, he would just moan as soon as he opened his mouth. What made it worse was that every time he moaned he started to blush more. By the time Darren asked him to look at him, his entire face was flushed with different colors of pink and red. “.. ahh-... I’ll try..” He breathed out before moaning again as Darren messed with his pants. He wasn’t completely sure why Darren was still asking permission anymore, but at least he was true to his word even if Russel just wanted him to stop teasing him. With every breath, shivers would go up and down his back that made it harder and harder to focus.
When Darren finally did take off his underwear, it relieved a little bit of the pressure for Russel since he wasn’t confined by his clothes anymore. His eyes moved up to Darren as he watched him take off his own jeans. To his question, he didn’t want to say something stupid, so he just nodded as he stared at Darren’s completely uncovered figure. He probably could have admired the sight for a lot longer, but Darren had other plans for them. “---hahhh, don’t tease me…” He breathed out as Darren seemed to be just enough to keep Russel on the edge, but not actually enough to completely fill him. Russel may have been a virgin, but he wasn’t an idiot. Darren was purposely dragging this out to watch Russel wither before him completely helpless as to how he should control himself.
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Darren grinned and followed his order. He mouthed up the side of his shaft then popped the head of his erection into his mouth. He hummed, licking up the precum and sucking on him, eyes never leaving Russel’s face. He took more and more of him into his mouth, sliding his tongue along him as he did so each time he came up and went back down. Then he pulled completely off and continued to pump him with his hand as he sucked one of his balls into his mouth, then doing the other. He kissed where the shaft met his sac then swirled his tongue there before working his way back up the shaft once again. He hummed in appreciation of the noises Russel was making.
He could feel his own p***k throb between his legs as he sucked Russel off. One hand held him up and squeezed Russel’s inner thigh while the other moved down to jack off Darren’s c**k. He hadn’t had sex in so long, and maybe this dream-sex didn’t count really, but, God, he wanted it. After a few more moments, Darren pulled back and slid himself back up to Russel’s lips. He planted a wet, open-mouthed kiss on his lips and moaned softly as he rutted against him, sliding their erections together in a healthy dose of frottage, one hand cupping Russel’s face while the other squeezed their dicks together as he thrust.
He sat up on his knees next, gazing down at the writhing mess that was Russel as he stroked himself. “Since...since this is a dream, I don’t think we need to worry about a condom,” he panted. “You’re sure you want this? I can get us off without this if you want to stop,” Darren told him, dropping down onto one elbow as he kissed his throat. “We don’t have to, but damn do I want to,” he whispered against his skin hotly. “But...it’s up to you. I’m fine with whatever you want,” he assured him, nipping at his ear and jaw before looking into his eyes again.
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When Russel had asked Darren to stop teasing him, he probably should have thought the idea through more before saying it out loud. Now, Russel just seemed to be even more of a mess. He had tried to hold back the moans, but his efforts were futile. Everything Darren did was skilled beyond Russel’s wildest dream. “ohhh, ahhh- Darrennnn,” He breathed as he gripped the bed tightly. He didn’t want to come too early and ruin it all, but he felt like he was going to explode soon. Darren was really a lot better than Russel expected him to be at sucking d**k. “ummm.” Russel groaned as he bit his lip again right as Darren pulled back.
Russel held nothing back from the kiss, even the moan that came out by force from the grinding that Darren was performing. “ahh-, yes… I don’t think I have ever wanted anything more in my life-... please, Darren..” He panted back to him with a desperate look in his eyes. Luckily, Darren had given him a moment to catch his breath, since without it, he probably wouldn’t be able to say anything. Although even after Darren had stopped doing anything, his body was still crying for more. For once in his life, he was sweaty and dirty and covered in saliva, but he didn’t care. All he wanted was Darren to make him feel complete. He wasn’t sure how he was going to do it, but he knew that Darren was the only person that could.
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Darren let out an excited breath as Russel practically begged him for it. “Okay. I’m going to take care of you,” he told him softly and kissed his lips again briefly. He leaned back on his knees again and lifted Russel’s upwards, pulling his hips to him. He spread his own knees out a bit and spit into his hand, smearing it over his c**k. He smirked up at him a bit then lifted his hips, also spitting on Russel’s entrance, making sure to spread the lubricant over it. He grabbed hold of himself and lined his c**k up with Russel’s hole. “I need you to stay relaxed. It’s gonna feel a little weird, but you have to relax, alright?” he told him, breath shaky from anticipation. He pressed forward a bit against him, feeling the tip slide in. Darren groaned at the feeling. But he also felt Russel tense up. “Russel. Russel, look at me,” he told him, bridging over his body and holding his face with one hand. He looked into his eyes and kissed his lips gently. “You’ve gotta relax, or neither of us get what we want, okay? I told you I’d take care of you, you’ve got to trust me and relax,” he told him, eyes searching Russel’s. “Trust me,” he whispered as he leaned down and kissed his lips again.
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Russel weakly smiled at Darren as he pulled back from the kiss. The blue-eyed virgin then watched curiously as Darren positioned their bodies and readied him what was coming next. The spit lubricant was particularly gross to Russel, but he had a feeling it was necessary. "In the future, I feel we will have to invest in some kind of actual lubricant rather than having you spit on yourself and me." He stated off-handed lay as he continued to watch Darren's movements carefully. He wanted to understand how all of this all worked, but in all honest, sex was a pretty gross process. If it didn't feel so good, Russel really wouldn't understand why anyone would want to have it. All the saliva, semen, and even blood sometimes was just absolutely disturbing to at Russel, but he wanted to believe it was worth it so he was allowing it to happen.
"Umm okay, I'll try my best to relax." Russel replied back as he took in a deep breath. He wanted to be calm and relax, but he was growing nervous now. As Darren pushed forward into him, he took a sharp breath inward as it caused a stark pain up his lower back. He started to breath heavier, and he latched onto the other's body for support almost immediately. "Ahh- Darren... It hurts..hhaaaah," he breathed out harshly, he was too manly to want to admit it, but tears even swelled up in his eyes. Russel had almost lost himself in the pain when Darren pulled him back into focus. "I trust you..." He whispered back quietly to Darren's words of comfort before accepting the kiss. He was starting to shake, but he wrapped his arms around Darren's neck and tried to breath deeply regardless. It took him a minute or so to adjust and despite trying his hardest, he shed a small tear as he hid his face in Darren's neck and shoulder, but he was able to relax himself to the point where Darren could continue.
Getting Darren completely in was the worst part since Russel was so new to it all, and overall it took about ten minutes before Darren was able actually start moving. During it all though, Russel remained buried in Darren's shoulder clutching onto the other's body for dear life as he whimpered and groaned since he really didn't want Darren to see him cry, even if it was a little bit. As the other started to move, though, the pain started to dull and mix with more and more pleasure, which eventually drove Russel out of hiding.
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Darren held onto Russel comforting as he was slowly able to ease his way in. "It's okay," he whispered, feeling his chest swell when Russel said he trusted him. He kept whispering sweet words to him as he buried himself inside of him. "I told you I'll take care of you. Just take a moment to get used to it, alright?" he whispered, trying to keep his voice even. It was hell staying still this long buried deep inside this source of heat. He'd keep himself under wraps, though, for Russel. His fingers gently played with his short hair as he kissed his shoulder gently.
"I'm gonna move a little now, okay? Slowly. Just relax, take deep breaths. It'll get much, much better soon," he told him, kissing just below his ear and moving his hips back then forward again, painfully slow for himself. He grunted slightly with the effort to keep himself calm as he moved. He could tell Russel wasn't one for new things, and this was definitely new for him. He just needed to let it happen. Darren slowly sped up until he felt Russel's walls loosen around him. Then he felt Russel's grip tighten more, but his head fell back off of his shoulder and onto the pillow.
"Better?" he grunted, hips thrusting smoothly as he began to move in and out of his...lover? He didn't know. He didn't particularly care. He was making Russel feel good, and that's what mattered. He leaned down and kissed him as he thrust, humming slightly. He grinned slightly against Russel's lips. "I'm gonna make you feel so good," he whispered against them, beginning to angle his thrusts as he made them slightly stronger. He was searching for that spot that Russel couldn't help but scream his name when he hit. He kissed across Russel's cheek as he did so, moving towards his ear. His hand slid down to hold onto one of Russel's hips as he whispered, "You...are gorgeous," he told him before nipping at his lobe and sucking it into his mouth. "Tell me what you want, Russel. Exactly what you want. I want to hear that innocent mouth say dirty things," he teased him, kissing and nipping at his jaw now.
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"ummmhmmm, ahhh-" Russel moaned out before biting his lip to hold himself back. There was just something undiginified about moaning at Darren's beckon call. Slipping up was one thing, but Russel could tell that Darren was getting extreme satisfaction out of making Russel look weak, or at least that is how Russel felt about moaning uncontrollably. Of course, most of Russel's self-control went right out the window when Darren thrust into him one time and hit that one spot. "Ahhh~" he moaned out pretty much sounding like a sixteen year old girl. "Haaaahha, again, ahh, please Darrennnnnn," he moaned out desperately before feeling Darren hit that spot again and again. The repeated abuse to his prostate had proved to be too much for the blonde though since after only a few thrust, he came all over both of their chest.
His lips cried out the raven haired male's name as he tipped his head back and shut his eyes in ecstasy. His breathing was heavy and he feel like his heart was beating out of his chest. It was so hot all of a sudden that he felt like his clothes were glued to him he was so sweaty. Wait, why was he wearing clothes? Russel startled up in his bed before he felt his heart break a little. There he was... back in his room fully clothed... and alone. It was all a dream. It didn't matter that it felt so real or that Russel need it to be real... it wasn't... Unable to stop himself, Russel just started to cry his eyes out. His body ached with sorrow as he curled into himself there on his bed. He felt so broken, and for the first time in the whole month he had been seeing Darren, the reality that he couldn't live without the other had finally sank in. He truly could have anything he wanted material wise, but his parents would never accept Darren so he never get to be with him outside his dreams. He was doomed to dream beautiful, fantastic times with Darren, but never get to actually be with him. There weren't dreams... they were twisted nightmares.
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Darren gasped out a sudden groan as he came inside Russel, feeling the other tighten around him. "Russel," he breathed out, leaning in to kiss his lips before his eyes shot open. He looked beside him, arm reaching over to his side. Hurt eyes looked beside him, seeing no one beside him. He breathed deeply, chest heaving. He began shaking then, body jolting slightly with the breakdown he was going through. He was so real. This wasn't fair. He was so ******** real in his arms, beneath him.
Darren curled into himself on Jordan's couch, covering his face with his hands as tears leaked down his cheeks. It couldn't have just been a dream. There was no way he could write that off as a fiction of his imagination. He was so...so perfect in his arms. He had never felt like he belonged so much as he did with Russel.
He had to meet him. He would meet him and assure himself that they connected on some level in their dreams. Russel had to feel it, too. He had to feel how Darren felt. Darren had never felt so needed in his life, and it was wonderful. God, he wanted to hold him again and lay on his chest and smell his skin and just be content with his life again. "Oh, Russel," he whispered, hugging himself. He closed his eyes, remembering the feel of his soft skin, his lips, his breath...the sound of his voice and his cries of pleasure...their talks and the jokes, the sight of him with his hair ruffled up and his expensive Italian shirt ripped open. The sight of his body splayed out for him and only him, face flushed and desire-ridden body. All for Darren. "I need to hold you," he whispered, curling into himself more. "I need to touch your face and kiss your lips. I need to have you in my arms and fall asleep curled up with you, talking about nothing. I need you to feel real happiness again," he ended, words turning into soft sobs.
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Russel found himself a few hours later unable to sleep and unable to cry anymore. He felt absolutely pathetic. He had never been the person to cry about anything, and now he was breaking down over a dream. Russel couldn't describe the level of stupidity he felt as he laid there not wanting to go on with his existence. Why did Darren have to matter so much? Why did he have to need him so badly? It just didn't make any sense. He had never even met Darren, and in all reality, there was a chance that he never would. He couldn't let his dream start dictate his life. He couldn't afford it, not with his parents and not with the life that he had planned for him. Russel, also unable to lay there anymore, got up and took a long, hot shower.
After he couldn't stay in the shower anymore, he got out and worked on any and all homework he could think to do for the next week and a half. Time was passing by extremely slow, but at least he found enough stuff to do until he had to go down and eat breakfast with his family. It wasn't what he wanted to do, but he wasn't allow to skip without good reason. Then it was off to school to put on a fake smile and manage. He had a bad night, but today was a new day, so he had keep on moving regardless of silly emotional pains.
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Darren had forced himself up off of the couch after about an hour and a half of sulking he shoved himself in the shower, sighing as the hot water ran over him. He pressed his palm against the tiled wall and hung his head, examining his life. Whether they got into this school or not, he had to change some things. He had been meaning to get out of that gang for so long, but hadn’t had the balls or motivation to do it. Now he did. What if he did meet Russel, and he got hurt because of it? Russel didn’t even know he was in a gang...would he drop him from his life if he knew?
Darren felt his shoulders drop. Oh, yeah. He more than likely didn’t know anything about him anyway...but, god, there was no way that was just a one-sided dream. It was too real, too different from his other ones. There was too much emotion involved. And the feel of his skin...the smell of him. Darren hummed slightly as he thought about it. After a few minutes of thinking about it, he felt himself get hard, and then he was stroking himself with only one name on his lips and in his mind, taking over his being. He bit his lips a few minutes later as he came. Look what you do to me, Russel… he thought as he looked down at himself, erection slowly going flaccid.
He dragged himself out of the shower a few minutes later with a sigh and dried off, throwing on a pair of his boxer briefs. He scrubbed his hair dry with his towel as he walked out of the bathroom, turning the light off on his way, and walked into the small kitchen. He glanced at the clock on Jordan’s microwave. Four fifty-eight in the morning. He sighed and dropped the towel into the laundry room, mohawk in disarray as he grabbed some food from the fridge and began to cook, in his underwear. He wouldn’t be ready to face the day without two mugs of coffee and some bacon.
About two hours later, about two hours before they had to leave to go to the prep school for Darren’s interview, he had the coffee and food in him. He was getting dressed in his suit that he had luckily saved up enough money beforehand to buy. It was cheap, but it would work much better than any clothes he had owned. Plus, since the neck came up so high, it covered his tattoos. The only ones he needed to worry about showing were a few sneak-peeks on his wrists if the cuffs slid up a little too far.
He looked at himself in the mirror, turning to make sure it was all in place. It didn’t require a tie, which Darren liked a lot, and he thought the grey looked better on him than any black or something would. He pulled on his shoes that he was able to get fairly cheap. They were brown and shiny and did their job well. Next thing he needed to tackle, though, was his hair. He scowled up at it and moved back into the bathroom and away from the full-length mirror in Jordan’s room. He had brought his styling gel with him, but he obviously couldn’t put it up in its mohawk state. He thought for a moment before turning on the water to dampen his hair. Once that was done, he proceeded to sweep it back and slightly to one side, gelling it there slightly so it wouldn’t fall later on. “Hey, Jordan? How do I look?” he asked as he stepped back out into Jordan’s room where he was getting dressed as well. They had to be there by nine o’clock. It was half-past seven now, and about a thirty minute drive, hoping traffic wasn’t that bad. Hopefully they’d get there on time.
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Jordan looked up from his mirror at Darren's appearance. "Looks okay to me... Of course the sad puppy dog look in your eyes is pretty terrible looking. You should probably wipe that look off your face unless you are planning to go with the "I'm a trouble kid who only wants someone to show me some love for once" route. Although since our school is full of those, I think all the other kids will be using that one so I would just go with being yourself. At least the rule breaker is interesting and original." Jordan commented as he was walked over to his raven-haired friend and reached up to push his hair back to the way it was supposed to be. "I don't want them to take us because they think we will fit in at their school. I want them to take us because there is no one else like us and they need us." Jordan stated having one of his more serious a moments.
He could tell that something was wrong with Darren, but he also knew Darren. You couldn't push Darren or he shoved back. If he wanted Jordan to know, he would tell him. They were close lik that. Jordan, assured in that fact, turned back to the mirror and finished straightening up his outfit. "So before I brush my teeth and put on my axe, you want to go smoke an entire pack with me, you know once we get on the school ground there, we won't be able to even think about cigarettes without getting in trouble." Jordan stated as he picked up his lighter and pack off his nightstand. He probably wouldn't smoke the whole pack, but heck if he wasn't going to try. He was more nervous than he had never been, and he needed to be able to breath before he actually lost his cool.
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Darren gave Jordan a look when he messed up his hair again, running his hand through it again to make it more natural. "You're right...you're so ******** right, Jordan. Gah. This is driving me crazy. Yes, please let's smoke. Let's smoke our lives away," he told him, ignoring the comment about his eyes that was made earlier. He didn't want to think about his dream right then. Not right now when he needed to calm himself down and get his head on straight.
"Please, yes. Smoke. Now," he said almost desperately as he grabbed onto Jordan's arm and all but dragged him to the back porch. Once he was lit up and taking a drag, he let out a deep breath and slumped a bit, unable to lean against the wall for fear of messing up his coat. "We're gonna do awesome today, Jordan. We're both gonna get in and make something of ourselves. And...and it's gonna be awesome," he told him, glancing over at his friend
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UnDeadReaper95 Vice Captain
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UnDeadReaper95 Vice Captain
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Posted: Fri May 23, 2014 12:15 am
Jordan laughed as he was practically carried outside. Man and he thought that he was nervous about this. Darren seemed to be a complete and utter wreck, but at the same time, he was pretty optimistic about their interviews. What was else was bothering him so bad? Jordan pushed the thought away as he lit his own cigarette. He needed to thinking about the day ahead instead of thinking about a problem that could be addressed later tonight. Jordan inhaled deeply the toxic fumes and he could feel his whole body grow less anxious. He needed this more than he even thought he did. Unfortunately though, they couldn't stay out there all day. They needed to finish getting ready and get out the door. There was no telling how bad traffic would be, and they needed to make sure they were early just in case the interviewers wanted to get started early. Today they were basically at the prep school's beckon call until they were done with them.
After the third death stick, Jordan resolved to finish getting ready. "Okay man, I'm heading in, so we can go ahead and get this day over with. You are welcome to the pack if you aren't done though." Jordan told him as he stepped around Darren, and moved inside. For a breakfast, he just got himself a quick bowl of the off-brand version of coco puffs, and then went and scrubbed his teeth pearly white. With one last look in the mirror, he sprayed himself down with his axe and walked towards the door. "Hey man, you ready to go?" He called back from the door as he grabbed his wallet and keys from the table beside the door.
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Darren took Jordan up on his offer to the pack and stayed outside a bit longer. He finished his current cig then smoked two more before he felt like he could breathe comfortably again. He spent the time thinking...thinking about his dream and what today might mean for him...for both him and Jordan. He stared up at the sky as he exhaled smoke, thinking about the dream, and Russel’s lips. His lips twitched into a smile as he took a drag, closing his eyes to remember better. He wanted to kiss him again and hold him in his arms. He wanted to lay down with him curled up and talk about everything and nothing. He wanted him and nothing else. Maybe he would even give up smoking for him one day… He tossed down the butt of the cigarette and smashed it with his shoe, staring at the remains. He gave an ironic smile. “God, you’re worse than ********’ nicotine..,” he mumbled and ran a hand through his hair once more. Then he took a deep breath and stood tall, stretching out his arms a bit.
He entered the house, sprayed himself down with his own Axe, scrubbed his face and teeth clean, then grabbed his wallet. He took a moment to look himself over in the mirror. “Yeah...yeah, I’m ready,” he called back, looking at himself again and grinning, giving a wink. “You’re gonna do awesome,” he said quietly before hurrying to Jordan’s side. “Let’s go, Man. We need to get this day over with before I s**t my pants,” he told him with a laugh.
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Jordan laughed a little at Darren's actions as he pulled open the door to his apartment. Ushering Darren outside, Jordan pulled the door closed before going through the proess of securely locking it. He didn't exact live in the best neighborhood... No one around here really lived in a fantastic neighborhood, but even for around here, Jordan lived in a pretty crap place. However, it was all that Jordan could afford therefore, that is what he had. In an effort to keep them on time, Jordan hurried down to the car and climbed inside Darren's car. They had originally talked about taking Jordan's car, but his rust bucket probably would crap out on them halfway there. Darren had a bit more of an income thanks to his drug trafficking business and since he didn't have an apartment to pay for. He just crashed at everyone else's.
His car of course wasn't top of the line either, but it was decent and even a little on the higher end for around here. Ironically, it was one of the biggest signs that Darren was in a gang. Gangs moved just about all the money around, so the people that had it were in at least one gang. Some people were in multiple like taking out a second job. "Just think, in a little more than a hour, we will be entering one of the finest prep schools in the country for an interview to decide whether or not we can go there. It is a little more than intense." Jordan said calmly as he looked over at his best friend starting the car.
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"God, don't even get me started, man," replied Darren, laughing a little tightly. He started up his car and took a deep breath, putting it into gear. "I don't think I've been this nervous about something in a long, long time, Jordan... It sucks. I don't like it. Make the butterflies stop," he said jokingly but honestly, driving down the road to their destination.
It was quiet for a bit, the air growing a bit tense. "So I had another dream last night. It, uh...it wasn't like the other ones, though," he told his friend. "It seemed almost real, that I actually forgot it was a dream...or hoped it wasn't. When I woke up and he wasn't there..." he paused for a moment, staring up at the red street light blankly. Once it turned green, his body realized he had stopped speaking and jolted into motion as he started on the gas again. "That guy...Russel.... I came to a conclusion about what he is to me. He's like cigarettes, but so much worse and so much better at the same time. He's addictive and it's unhealthy to want something--someone--so much...but I can't help to want more of mhim. All of him. I want to devour him and mark him to make him mine for the world to see...but it'll probably never happen... I'd ruin his golden-child reputation. And it shouldn't hurt this mich to know that, but...it breaks my heart. It kills me." He spilled his guts, still staring straight ahead as they drove. He wanted Jordan or someone to understand so he didn't feel so alone and hopeless.
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"Oh I'm sorry, my ability to cure nervous stopped working just this morning, looks like you are screwed." Jordan sarcastically stated as they drove out of his apartment complex. As he watched the dank apartment buildings disappear from his sight, there was a feeling of relief that swelled up inside him. This was maybe their only chance at making their lives into something real and worth more than dirt. Of course, it was a slim chance, but still a chance nonetheless. Jordan turned back towards Darren and let a silence grow between them. Maybe the silence would be good for them both. They both were pretty nervous and in need of time to think everything that had happen over.
Although, the fact that Darren started to confess to him about his dream didn't bother him either. As the raven-haired male spoke, Jordan just listen intently. He didn't speak even during the long pause. The story had very quickly become all too familiar... The dream sounded exactly like a dream he had experienced before, but it touched a place inside himself that he had almost complete shut off. Every word made Jordan sink deeper into his silence as he realized what exactly it meant. "Well it he is cigarettes, then you better hope the ones you smoked this morning are going to help you kick your addiction today...." Jordan mumbled as he looked away out the window.
"There is the school." Jordan stated as he pointed out the almost sparkling building off the highway they were on. They had made good time since most of the traffic was out yet. There was no turning back now.
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The only noise Darren made was a grunt of a hum to Jordan's observation of them approaching the school, other than that he was uncharacteristically silent.
He pulled up into the parking lot and felt a little in awe of all of the expensive cars parked there. I'm sure my car looks like crap next to all of these glorious vehicles, he mused to himself as he shut his baby off. He took a deep breath as he stepped out of his car and looked around, closing the door a bit loudly as he gazed up at the building.
"I think I'm gonna s**t myself," he said finally in a definite tone as he looked over at his friend. Then he allowed a grin to practically split his face in half as he walked around the car to him. He threw his arm around Jordan's shoulders and waved his hand out dramatically towards the school, sweeping it across their view of the building. "That's our ticket to the bright future, Jordan. Right there. We're on our way, Man," he said, a lilt in his tone. He gave him another goofy grin then released him and headed through the parking lot to the school.
Upon entering the front doors, he definitely felt eyes on them and heard the whispers. He didn't particularly care, though. He walked right through the door to the front office and to the desk. He grinned at the woman there. "Hey, we're here for our scheduled interviews with the headmaster about the scholarship offer. We're about twenty minutes early for mine, and his is right after. Wanted to make sure we made it through any traffic. Anyway, I was just letting you know that we're here whenever the headmaster's ready to start," he told her politely, the woman seeming a bit surprised on how well-mannered he was being versus the unruly hair and slight facial scruff he was sporting.
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Jordan's body seemed to loosen up as Darren wrapped his arms around him. Dreams were dreams, simple as that. He didn't need to freak out over something that may not even happen. No two people were the same, so it was probably safe to assume that each dream relationship was different from each other. Although right now, even if they knew for sure they were the same, Jordan would just try and convince otherwise. He really needed for all of Darren's new dream mess to not screw up today. Soul mate or not, they both needed this more than love right now.
As they walked into the building, it was almost astonishing. As much of a sight they were to the students, Jordan found all of the almost identical student more of a sight. If they really did get in, the school was probably going to hate everything about the way they dressed. As he thought about it, they would have to have uniforms... But how would they afford them? Jordan's mind fog seemed to disappate though as he followed Darren into the front office and listen to him speak.
The woman there looked to be in her late thirties, maybe forties, but pleasant enough. "Ah, yes, the headmaster informed me that you would be coming, unfortunately she busy right now, so she told me that if you arrived before she was finished with her meeting to send you on a school tour with one of our senior mentors. Would you be okay with that?" The woman asked as she gave her full attention to the two. It pretty amazing since most people just overlooked them or took one look and deemed them not worth their time.
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Darren gave her a small shrug, grin still in place on his lips. "Sounds fine to me. This school is amazing just from the front entryway. I can't wait to see a science lab or, God, a music hall," he said happily.
He was practically vibrating where he stood. He gave Jordan one of his "Darren grins", hoping to cheer him up any. Honestly, he couldn't believe they were even allowed to set foot in the parking lot of this place. Yeah, he'd have to wear a uniform. Yeah, he'd have to be more well-behaved. Yeah, he might have to give up his constant smoking. But, God...he would actually make something of himself.
He glanced back at his friend again and made the silent vow that if he got in, he'd quit running with gangs and selling drugs. He would get a real job. It would make both of their lives better. And if Jordan got in and he didn't...well he wasn't letting his friend be held back because of him. However, if it were the opposite, Darren wasn't going to let Jordan go back to that school alone and suffer. Darren would fight for his friend's placement in the school and if he didn't win, he'd say good riddance. Jordan was the only tangible thing he had, and hhe wouldn't lose him to run around with a bunch of snobs.
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The woman smiled at the two. "Fantastic, let me get the mentor teacher on the phone and I'll have you a guide in here in no time at all. You two can take a seat though while you wait, so you don't have to stand." She informed them as she picked up her office phone and dialed a number on it. Jordan, without question, took the woman up on her offer and sat down. "Geana? Hi, it's Brenda from the front office, can you spare a mentor or two to give two prospective students a tour of the school?... Haha, yeah, she is running behind again... You can?....That is great!... Okay, yeah, You have a terrific day, too, Geana, talk to you later." The woman spoke over the phone before hanging up the phone.
"Great news boys, we got you some guides, they aren't seniors, but they are two of the finest students we have, Russel Thompson and Mark Charleston. Their fathers are some of the most successful men in the country right now, and at this rate, those two are sure to follow in their father's footsteps." The woman rambled on, talking really just make pleasant conversation. Jordan didn't make the correlation between the names and Darren's dreams, so he just nodded to everything she was saying without really paying it any attention. "What is even better is you get to meet two model students, how luck are you two!" She said with a wide smile. She was probably one of the happiest people that Jordan had ever been around, but he didn't get out of the slumps much. "Sounds great, ma'm," Jordan replied back, managing a small smile for the woman.
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Darren sat down beside Jordan and nudged him with his elbow a bit. It was to say "See, it was all worth it." He perked up a bit, though, hearing the name Russel. His eyes flicked over at the woman then back over at Jordan. There was no way. There was no way it was his Russel. That was too easy.
By he's rich...and always dresses so nicely...and he goes to a prep school. A thoughtful expression set on his face as he thought about the possibility. So, what if it did turn out to be him? What would he do? Would he know it was him? Would he pretend like he didn't know him? ...if he asked about his dream, would he know what he was talking about? If he did, would he be happy? Would he be excited to see Darren? Or would he only be happy in the dreams? Would he be horrified to see him?
He hadn't realized he had been thinking as long as he had, and before he knew it, the door to the office was opening. He had meant to steel himself before looking, but out of habit looked to who was walking in the room, eyes slightly wide and hopeful.
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"Hola hombres! Who is ready for a tour of the school!" A raven haired male announced as he entered the room. His hair was shaved short on the sides and spiked up about and inch on top. He was proudly sporting the boy's uniform that had a jacket that was unbuttoned. It was still professional, but it did have a casual flare to it. "I'm the lame and unattractive, Russel Thompson, and this fellow here is the great and charming, Mark Charleston." The black haired boy stated with a brilliant smirk as a blonde kid walked in. His uniform matched the first, but his jacket was buttoned up. "Hardy har har, you are so funny," the blonde stated before looking over at the two.
It was a good thing that Russel knew how to conceal his emotions very well, because if it was anyone else, they probably would have burst into tears. It was obviously the guy he had been dreaming about for the past month in the flesh and blood, but last night, Russel had consigned to himself not to put up with anymore of that foolish. Therein, as he looked over at the two, he shutdown all of his emotions. "What the hell, since when do they let trash exist in our school?" He asked quietly after pulling the black haired boy to the side. His blue eyes looking upon the two with a cold blackness. He looked upon as nothing more than a stranger.
"Haha, Mark, how about trying to remember your commitment to the mentor program, you know all that brotherly love and junk," the black haired one mumbled back before the blonde lowered his guard and turned completely back to the two. "Like he said, he is Russel and I am Mark, so let's get this touring the road," Russel stated continuing on with the ruse in order to see how the other reacted to the name. Supposedly they had never met before, so technically if the dreams meant nothing and were nothing, the other shouldn't ever realize Mark had flip flopped their names.
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Darren couldn't believe it when Russel walked in. He wasn't fooled by that other guy. This had to be Russel. Had to be his Russel.
He glanced over at Jordan, and when he looked back at Russel he was talking to this other guy--Mark. He couldn't help the little smirk that surfaced on his lips when Russel claimed the names were true. "Funny," he said as he stood from his chair and looked straight into Russel's eyes, "I think you look more like a 'Russel', no offense intended." His smirk widened a bit then he held his hand out for Russel to shake. "Nice to meet you, Mark. I'm Jordan, and this is my best friend Darren. We're here from that dilapidated, sorry excuse for a school a town over on pretense of possibly getting a scholarship to attend this amazing place," he explained, eyeing Jordan cheekily as he introduced them in the same fashion.
"How are we doing this tour thing? We splitting up or going as a big happy group with color-commentary?" He asked as he dropped his hand to his side again. He liked this little game Russel was playing with him. He thought it was kind of cute.
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As "Jordan" offer him his hand to Russel, the blonde pulled away and stood back towards the door. "Sorry, I have a weird thing with people touching me." he replied back as he made farther attempt to be anywhere near the two. "Sounds pretty cool to me. I'm all for having more diversity here, everyone here is pretty much the same except a few." The black haired male stated taking the hand that Russel refused. Then he shook Jordan's hand too. Jordan took the hand, but he was more worried about Darren at the moment. He was acting really weird, and since Jordan hadn't recognized the name, he had no earthly idea why he was being weird. He didn't understand why Darren was trying to mess with this Mark guy. He didn't even know him.
"Well I guess it does matter, but we were planning to just stay together as a group. The school doesn't really approved of one or two people doing anything alone." Mark told them as he walked outside the office with them. Russel seemed to still be keeping a safe distance, especially from Darren. "We are going to try and show you the whole school, but is there anywhere you specifically would like to see?" Mark asked as they started to walk down one hallways. Everyone else was in their first class now, so they were pretty much alone.
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Darren laughed a bit at the black-haired male's comment on diversity. "I feel you. Everyone's pretty much the same over at our school, too. That's why us two stick together and ignore everyone else. They're all the kind of people who want to put you down or mug you or hurt you. Thus, we stay together, we protect each other, we make it through life," he explained to them as they began down the hallway.
When asked if there were certain places they wanted to see, Darren laughed again and smirked. "Why don't you guess what my favorite subjects are? Both of you. I'm curious to see if you can guess right," he challenged, glancing over at Russel. "I've got two subjects I absolutely love, so guess away."
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Russel was growing quickly aggravated with the other. This was all a big joke to him. He wasn't trying to really get into this school. He must have hunted down his name and just found a loophole that let him get a day pass. All he was doing was trying to push his buttons... Or worse, he was here to expose Russel as gay. Either way, Darren was becoming more and more of threat with each passing second. Russel's outward appearance was calm, but inside he was losing his mind. Why would someone that was supposed to love him make such an elaborate plan to destroy him?
Feelings of complete and utter betrayal swelled inside him, as he stared Darren in the eyes. "Hmmm, let's see I would probably have to guess Drug Dealing for idiots and Thug Life 101, logical choices since they have to prepare you for living in the real world." Russel spoke with a stern seriousness and a flare of sacastasm. He didn't want to be Darren's friend, he wanted nothing to do with him at all. Why did he think he could love someone that would be as cruel to outcast in front of everyone at his school. "Whoa, whoa, I think no would be a great time for me to tell you guys about the hallway we are in!" Mark proclaimed as he pulled Russel away from Darren.
"This is the math and science hall, and it includes seven functional labs that are all specifically equipped to the class they cater to...." Mark started to ramble on as he pointed out certain classrooms. While the raven haired boy was going on and on, Jordan took this as an opportunity to figure out what the hell was going on. "Dude? Why are you provoking that Mark guy?? Do you want to get a bad reputation before we ever even get to this school??" Jordan whispered to his friend under his breath as they all continued down the hallway.
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Darren's smirk turned into a tight smile as Russel lashed out at him. He was going to return the attitude when Mark cut him off. When Jordan asked about how he was acting, Darren looked at him with hurt in his eyes. "His name's not Mark. It's Russel. From my dreams," he answered just as softly.
He took a deep breath and let it out, shoving the twisting in his chest aside. He listened to Mark speak about the hall. When he heard a pause in his voice, Darren quickly cut in with, "Could we have a look at one of the chemistry labs? I've been looking forward to seeing them since my chem teacher announced the scholarship offer," he asked, kind of avoiding interacting with anyone but Mark. He knew Jordan wanted him to talk to him, but he really didn't feel like it. Obviously Russel wanted nothing to do with him, so he was giving him that.
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"Sure thing, it is actually right around the corner," Mark stated as the group turned down a hallway and entered the first room on the right. "There are three chemistry labs, this is the best though, and I am not just saying that because this is our classroom." he told the two as they walked into the room. "Mrs. Blake, would it be okay, if we showed some prospective students the lab?" Mark asked the teacher who was sitting at the desk in the front. "Sure, I don't mind, I don't have a class right now." She replied, before looking at Russel. "Good morning, Russel, will you be attending my lecture later this afternoon?" She asked seeing as she had Russel later, but he seemed to be excused from class right now.
"Yes, Mrs. Blake, I wouldn't miss your class for the world." Russel stated walking farther into the room and started to explain the room."This is our school's advanced chemistry lab. It is equiped with over 70 different chemicals, fifteen lab tables, and a complete set of brand new, binocular microscopes." Russel stated as he walked around the desks towards the lab tables. Mark smiled a little at this friend, maybe coming here really was a good idea. Chemistry was one of Russel's favorite subjects, so he could great pride in explaining the classroom. He may not have liked Darren being at his school, but that didn't change his love for the subject. "It also is equipped with all the safety measured noted for a true chemistry lab." Russel carried on as he started to point out the different features.
Russel for the first time that morning resembled what he normally did in their dreams. He wasn't pretending to be someone else. He wasn't trying to figure out some diluted plan. He was simply sharing his passions. Mark laughed a little as Russel finished. "Man you could make anyone fall in love with chemistry you know that?" He told his friend off-handedly.
-----
Mark wasn't the only person smiling at Russel's obvious change in character upon entering the lab. Darren's grin had returned full-force seeing how comfortable Russel had become. Especially seeing as it was Darren's favourite subject as well.
Darren hummed softly as he walked around, looking at any displays and equipment in the cabinets. "God, I would love to work in one of these labs." His eyes raked over the formulas and illustrations on the walls. He turned and grinned at Jordan. "Could you see Mrs. Campbell running around in one of these labs? She'd be in heaven," he said with a small laugh. He walked up to the teacher's desk and smiled at her with a smile only Darren could wear. He held out his hand for her to shake. "Hi, I'm Darren. That's my friend Jordan. We're from Barton High a town over. We're two of the students that are taking up the scholarship offer from the school. Interviews are today," he introduced. "I have to say, your lab is awesome, Mrs. Blake, was it? Chemistry is my favourite subject, and if, hopefully when, we get the scholarship, I'll be able to grace this glorious lab with my presence," he told her with a small laugh.
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Mrs. Blake looked up from her desk at the two. "Nice to meet you, but I will have to say just to get it on the table, this is the advanced chem lab, only the best get to be in my class and the whole school competes for the seats. You boys would be competing against students who's parents have spent millions of dollars on their education. But of course I am sure that Mark and Russel can tell you all about that." The woman explained as she took their hands when offered them. She wasn't being mean, she was being honest. Her classes was equilliant to a beginner class at Harvard, and were far from easy. Most student, if they ever got in, had to take her senior chemistry class since it was the smallest pool.
"You talk about us as if we are some kind of god, I mean really. I am nothing more than a good student." Russel said, dissmissing her claim that they were somehow special. "Haha, speak for yourself, mate, if a teacher wants to call me a god, I say go ahead and do it. Being at the top of our class isn't easy. " Mark playfully joked. "But enough about us, we need to get on with our tour, thanks for letting us show-off your lab, Mrs. Blake!" Mark told them as he ushered everyone out the room. Mrs. Blake probably needed to get back to her work.
"Yeah, unfortunately, the whole school is ranked all the way down to what P.E. Class you take. The school says that it encourages friendly competition among the students, but it can get a little cut-throat at times. Some even crack under the immense pressure the school put on students to excel." Russel stated softly as they walked down the hall. His words had a haunting felt to them, as if most of the student including himself were just on grade away from snapping. "Yeah, I choose to really just ingore everyone except my immediate competition, which just happens to be this nerd right here, Mark interjected as they turned into another hallway. "Oh look at this, this is the English hallway, and if we don't have time, the hall on the other side of this is the history wing. This hallway is where all you composition classes are as well as...." Mark started to carry on again as his word flowed perfectly out of his mouth. He really was like a professional tour guide.
Russel grew quiet again though, as they wandered from place to place. There was three halls down stairs, and two upstairs. Each filled with more and more astonishing classes of great merit. Downstairs was also the cafeteria and the library. The library was so enormous though that it seemed like you were stepping into a new building. It's ceiling even spanned up to the second floor it was so large. The cafeteria barely resembled a school cafeteria, and had the feel of a five-star restaurant. The last place they showed them was the second building. This was were the gym, locker room, auditorium, band hall, and trophy hall were located. Each room seemed nicer than the last still as the moved through the building. "This is our band classes room, it is also were all of the symphony classes are held. " Mark said walked up to one of the double doors and opening it. The music that was within spilled out into the hallway with beautiful elegance. The director had just started playing. "We can't go inside right now, but we can observe from here for a moment," Russel stated as his eyes looked upon the one of the cello players.
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When the situation about the chemistry classes was explained, it didn't downtrodden Darren's enthusiasm at all. If people spent that much money on education, he'd just make it in his own way: good old-fashioned studying hard. By the size of the library, he should have no problem with that.
He stole a few glances at Russel now and then as they walked. It was frustrating seeing him completely ignoring him. Did the dreams mean nothing? Did his dream last night mean nothing..? He felt that twisting coming back and quickly buried it again. He couldn't let it ruin his day. He'd dwell on it later.
When they approached the music hall, Darren spent no time at all before peering through the door, allowing the beautiful music to overwhelm him. He stood beside Russel and looked inside in wonder. "You know," he said softly as not to disturb the music, "if I had had the money to, I would have taken cello lessons in a heartbeat. Be in an orchestra, wear some snazzy suit with a three-hundred dollar Italian imported button-down, do-up those tiny-a** buttons every day…” His eyes stared straight ahead at the cellist’s fingertips moving along the strings for a moment more before he turned to Mark. “Do you have to have history with an instrument in order to get into the symphony classes, or are there, like, beginner lessons offered?”
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Russel stared intensely at the cellos as their bows moved elegantly back and forth making sweet hums. The world seemed to disappear around him as he looked at the beautifully constructed instrument. "No, that would never be, unfortunately. The instrument doesn't change a person, it just helps express who you really are. You would go on ripping all the Italian imported button-downs just as you did before with--" Russel found the words caught in his throat. He couldn't do this. He couldn't just be with Darren. He could say, in his dreams, that the world didn't matter, but in the real world, it did matter. It mattered a whole lot.
"They do, but they are after school, and cost money since the director gives him in his free time. Your best bet is to try and get into the one of the classes if you can play anything already, or get a private tutor outside the school that is much cheaper. Fortunately, once you are in one of the ensembles, all of lessons are free from our director. He is weird in that fashion." Mark informed Darren before his eyes moved pass Darren to Russel almost running down the hallway. "Russel, where are you going?" He asked walking the other disappear.
Russel, in the few minutes that Darren was distracted, moved behind him and starting down the hallway. He couldn't do this anymore. He could pretend that he could be okay around Darren. He either had to hate him or love him and he couldn't do either one right now. So he did the only thing he could, he removed himself from the situation. Even after hearing his name being called, Russel just continued on and disappeared into the school.
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Darren nodded as Mark spoke. He would definitely have to look into cello lessons and see if he could afford it. He would love to learn to play. He wanted to have a talent other than blowing things up, street art and dealing drugs.
When Mark called to Russel, Darren spun on his heel and looked after him as he disappeared around a corner. He frowned at the emptiness of the hallway he was staring at now. “Ah… I think I upset him,” he told Mark in a quiet voice, holding himself together. He hated seeing Russel so torn apart by being near him. How would their dreams be now? Obviously their last was was connected, by Russel’s reaction to Darren mentioning the shirt. Would their connection be cut off now? Now that he had upset him? He couldn’t have that. No, not after experiencing what he did in the last one. He couldn’t have Russel upset with him, but he knew he’d never find him if he chased after him. Russel definitely knew this school’s layout better than he himself did, so there wasn’t even a point.
“I have that unfortunate effect on people,” he said as he turned back to Mark. “I doubt me chasing after him would make any difference that would bring good results, so…” He trailed off, glancing back at the students playing beautiful music. “It’s probably about time we got back to the office anyway. I’m sure the president’s done with whatever meeting she was in by now, and I’d like to get my interview over with,” he told Mark, kind of avoiding Jordan’s gaze. He didn’t want to see those concerned yet judging eyes looking at him right now. He could already feel them.
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Jordan frowned watching the scene play out in front of him. It was ridiculous the way this was turning out. Both of them seemed 100% miserable but either of the wanted to admit they needed or didn't need each other. At least Jordan's soulmate had the common decency to tell him to his face that they straight up couldn't be together. Russel was just being cruel, and Darren was being irrealistic. Jordan stared at Darren the whole way back to the office, and as they sat back down in the chairs. It didn't seem like it, but they had only be gone about twenty-five minutes. "It was nice meeting you two, I hope your scholarships interviews go well." Mark stated before leaving the two finally. As suspected, Russel had no where to run but back to class, so Mark found him fairly easy since they were in almost all the same classes.
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“Please, just...don’t. Don’t say anything. I already know what you’re thinking,” Darren mumbled to his friend as he stared off to the side at the wall. He couldn’t face hearing anything about Russel right now. At least not until his interview was over. “Save it until these interviews are over with…until we’re back in the car. Otherwise, I don’t know if I’m honestly going to be able to hold myself together in there,” he admitted, glancing back at Jordan. It was a mistake to, because as soon as their eyes connected, Darren saw pity and concern and judgment--he shouldn’t be this torn up about someone he just met. It was stupid, and it was unlike him.
Darren tore his gaze away from his friend’s just as the president stepped out of her office and offered them both smiles. “I’m guessing you’re both here for your interviews? Which one of you is Darren?” she asked, Darren sitting up straight before standing and holding out a hand for her to shake, which she took. “That would be me, Ma’am,” he told her as he nodded, forcing his Darren grin back onto his face. He watched her eyes look him over and judge him, noticing little details no one else probably would. “Alright, would you please join me in my office so we can finally get this interview started,” she told him and guided him inside.
Ten minutes passed...then five more...and after the thirty-two minute mark, Darren appeared at the door, being ushered out by the woman from before. “Thank you so much, Darren. You should be receiving a letter from me within the next two weeks explaining whether you have been offered the scholarship or not and why. Thank you for providing a little comic relief for my stressful morning,” she told him, which he had to give a small laugh and thank her as well as tell her the comic relief was no problem.
“You’re up, Man,” he told Jordan, still not meeting his gaze as he sat down in his chair again and patted his best friend’s knee. He stared off into his corner again as the woman lead Jordan into her office like she did with Darren.
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Jordan grew quiet as Darren spoke to him like that. His friend was basically telling him that he didn't want to hear his concerns, because for some stupid reason, he wanted to be miserable. Jordan said nothing to Darren, even after he go out of his interview. He just stood and moved to the woman. "Jordan, I'm really glad to have this opportunity to get into your school," Jordan told her shaking her hand and following her back into the office. His interview lasted almost the same amount as Darren's, but she didn't follow him out of the room since towards the end she had to take a phone call.
"We can go now, Darren." He stated softly not looking at the other. He wasn't as hurt anymore, but he still felt like Darren should at least listen to him. He knew better than most what it was like to be rejected by his soul mate. Heck, he was trying to get into this school and he still didn't feel like could impress that woman. Life was cruel, but he really didn't expect Darren to push him away like the over some guy that didn't even want to be with him.
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Darren nodded at Jordan’s signal for them to leave. He stood and walked out of the office with him by his side. As they exited the school, Darren took one last look back down that entryway before forcing himself to turn back around and walked forward. They walked to his car in silence, Darren’s thoughts stewing the whole way.
He pulled his keys out and unlocked the car before opening the door and flopping into the driver’s seat. He closed the door silently and stared straight ahead out the windshield and up at that giant school. He felt...numb. It was stupid and foolish, but he felt numb over seeing Russel just so damned set on ignoring him, ignoring what they could have.
Upon hearing Jordan’s door shut, Darren looked over at him and said, “Punch me in the face. Please. Knock me out of this stupid, childish depression I’m in over this guy,” he requested, eyes full of fury at himself and disappointment in Russel, but mostly sorrow. “I’m sorry...that I kind of snapped at you back there, but I had myself in a mindset to get through the damn interview, and if you would have said anything to me about it, I couldn’t have gone through with it. This is the one chance I have to make something of myself, and I’m not going to blow it over Russel’s dumb a**. God, why do people have to think they’re ******** high-and-mighty? Usually, it’s the people they think are ******** below them that are greater than they are,” he spat out, anger boiling as his gripped the steering wheel before his arms went limp and fell back to his sides. He leaned forward and rested his forehead on the wheel, feeling himself tremble. “The first time...I felt like something was right...like something was supposed to happen, and it would be good, he goes and pulls this s**t… It’s so damn infuriating, I don’t know what to do with myself,” he said quietly, closing his eyes tightly.
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Jordan sat there for a moment in his silence, still."There is nothing you can do except accept that you can't win in situations like this. I wish I could tell you that you get over it, but you don't. You will fall asleep every night angry and terrified to dream, because you know everything is just crap and you can't really have even a small piece of that reality... as soon as the sun comes up, reality sets in again, and you will feel dead inside. I often feel it is equalevent to growing your heart back every night while you sleep, then ripping it out every morning just so you can function that day. I don't think you remember it, but the first six months after I meet my soul mate and she rejected me, I didn't sleep hardly at all and I actually become an insomniac... I still am one. Everyone hurts all over... And just because you don't want it to happen doesn't mean it..." Jordan confessed to Darren. It was probably one the deepest moments Jordan had ever had with anyone.
They really didn't get into deep intellectual conversation like this normally, because they were guys that were just trying to have each other's backs. Most of the time, they were so busy trying to keep from sinking, so they just couldn't talk about the stuff that hurt. Jordan moved to look over at Darren when a blonde caught his eye. His eyes glued onto the blonde from earlier and he frowned. The kid looked like a wreck. His eyes were red and puffy, and he was rushing out to what was probably the million dollar car his father bought him. "If... If I didn't think you both needed this, i wouldn't have pointed it out, but Darren, look up," Jordan told his raven-haired best friend as he removed his eyes from the blonde stormed down the parking lot unknowing about to past Darren's car.
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Posted: Fri May 23, 2014 12:39 am
Darren listened to Jordan's words. He knew his friend went through a bad time, but he was pretty aye they both just tried to ignore it. He tried to find the words to say ti him, to apologize for being difficult while Jordan had been going through hell all this time, when he told him to look up.
Darren felt his heart sink at the sight of Russel obviously distressed. He looked back at Jordan, seeming lost as to what to do. As Russel neared the car, Darren panicked and swung the door open and stood. "Russel," he breathed, allowing his gaze to take in the wide, surprised eyes rimmed with red. He stared at him for a few moments in silence. Suddenly, words he didn't know he'd been thinking sprung from his mouth.
"I'm sorry I was being a d**k in there, I just needed to know if last night...I had to know if it was you. If it had been just my imagination, I don't kniw what I would have done. I can't stop ******** thinking about you, and it's not something that happens to me: soul mate or not. Since I woke up, all I've wanted to do is just...wrap my arms around you and not let go." He paused for a moment, try I to compose himself. "I know we're from completely different worlds, and you have a reputation to upkeep, but...but I know you want this as much as I do. But...but if you want me to back off, I will. Even if I do get the scholarship here, I can leave you alone. I usually focus on myself, but...but I'll do anything that makes you happy," he told him, staring across the top of his car and straight into Russel's heart.
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UnDeadReaper95 Vice Captain
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Posted: Fri May 23, 2014 1:47 am
Russel jumped out of skin hearing his name be called. He had spent the last twenty minutes in the counselor's office, instead of eating lunch, trying to convince the woman to let him out of his afternoon classes. He felt so destroy that he had to ask to go home, that he had to ask the counselor to have someone else go get his class work. He couldn't be at school, not after seeing Darren, it just took too much to hold himself together. He hadn't told the counselor the truth, but it was convincing enough to work though. But then after, it was obvious that Russel looked shaken up. He had gone back to class, and attended all his classes before lunch, he just couldn't keep it up anymore.
Seeing Darren again, Russel just stood there stunned and terribly shaken. He didn't know what else to do, but to stand there and listen. "I-I don't know... I don't know what I want..." Russel choked out feeling his body pushed into motion after speaking. "I hate my life..." He spoke out as he started with even more of a purpose towards his car. "I can't do this, I don't know what I am doing with my life anymore. I AM ALWAYS IN CONTROL OF MY LIFE! Now I'm not in control of anything and I'm drowning," Russel stated out loud, he was interally cracking
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Posted: Fri May 23, 2014 10:23 am
Darren felt his chest tighten immensely the more Russel spoke. He sounded so broken, so tired of pushing forward through life. Darren couldn't stand hearing him sound like that. It broke his heart.
"Russel," he called again as he sprinted around his car and cut him off. He immediately wrapped his arms around him and pulled him close. He buried his nose in Russel's neck and breathed in, feeling himself relax. "Just let me hold you for a minute. Please. I think we both need this," he whispered, holding him tighter. "No one's around to see but Jordan. Just let go of need in to be in control so I can hold you," he pleaded. "Let me take care of you," he added in a shaky whisper. "Just for a minute."
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UnDeadReaper95 Vice Captain
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Posted: Fri May 23, 2014 6:17 pm
Russel frowned deeply as Darren hugged him. He was pretty sure that he might implode if he actually gave in to the embrace. As the arms moved around him, it felt like all the pain from the past month was back all at once. The blonde suddenly burst into tears as his body shook with sobs. "Can't you see I can't do this? I can't be with you. I want to be with you, but I can't. I want to be with you so badly that it hurts in my bones, but I can't. Please don't hate me... please don't taunt me or be malicious, I can't go against my parents or my lifestyle. This isn't a fairytale or dream land. If I screw up even once, that's it for me. I can't make even a single mistake. My whole life revolves around me staying in line... staying perfect. " Russel sobbed deeply to the other. He looked like this was literally killing him. Did he love Darren? Maybe, possibly, but Russel couldn't afford to begin to admit it to himself or Darren.
"I'm so sorry, so so very sorry. I-i just can't be with you. Not now. Not ever. I'm so sorry... very, very sorry..." Russel cried as he finally gained the strength to push the other body away. As he stumbled back away from Darren, his body caved into itself, and he collapsed onto the ground. He pressed his hands to his face to hide his shame as he continued to sob, unable to move anymore.He was one hundred percent utterly broken at the moment
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Posted: Sun May 25, 2014 10:19 pm
Darren felt himself break when Russel pushed him away. He about turned to dust when he watched Russel crumble. He stood there, mouth agape, with tearstained cheeks as he stared at him.
"I don't know what to do," he whispered in a lost voice. "I want to help you. I want to hold you and stop your crying, but if I touch you, you'll just break more, and it breaks my heart." He fell to his own knees to be more on Russel's level. "I don't know what to do. Tell me how to make you better. And don't say I just need to leave, because it'll just hurt us both more if I do." He looked at him pleadingly. "I know you won't be with me because of your reputation... it's not that you can't, it's that you won't. You won't be with me outside of our dreams no matter how much we both want it. I don't know about you, but recently...my dreams are my favorite part of my day... You're the best thing that's dropped into my life in a very, very long time, Russel. I don't want to let you go so easily. .."
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UnDeadReaper95 Vice Captain
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Posted: Sun May 25, 2014 11:52 pm
Russel just sat there sobbing as Darren trying to talk to him. The real truth was that there was no way to magically make any of this better. Russel wasn't sure if deep down Darren knew that too, but the other didn't seem to get it. This wasn't about just the two of them. Their relationship would ruin everything, and not just for Russel either, it was against the private school's social rules to be gay. The school didn't state it up front since it was sort of a don't ask/don't tell policy, and they never went on record saying they kicked anyone out for being gay either, but they just find something to pass off as an accept reason to.
Of course, at a normal school most of the student didn't care, so they just didn't really make a big deal about it.... But again, this wasn't just any school. Everyone here was so competitive that they would rat anyone out if they thought it would help their end game. When Russel said he couldn't make a mistake, he literally meant it. He was first in his class, so he was constantly bombarded with people threatening to stab him in the back at any given moment. They didn't care if Russel or Darren or anyone for that matter got kicked out of the school because their actions, they just wanted to get ahead.
"I wish you would!" Russel cried out looking back up at him again. "I wish I could quit you, and be done with all of this, but the truth is that no matter how destructive we are to each other, we can't make our dreams go away." Russel replied as his pain started to turn into anger. "We can not be together, and I mean what I said. It isn't a won't. I don't know if you are playing dumb or not, but you can't go here and be gay or bisexual or even curious, because the school will just go on a witch hunt until they find something, anything, they can use to expel you. Not mention, if my parents ever even began to think I was gay, they would ship me off to another country. So wake up and realize that, the moment we even got the thought up in our heads to together, I would disappear from your life forever.... So if you aren't going to leave, I am. I have to hate my life somewhere I don't have to see your eyes judging me for playing the hand I was dealt in life."
Russel's words, at first, were dripping with rage. Not particular for Darren, but everything that was going on right then. His words dropped their poisonous sting, and turned cold and heartless. It was obvious at that one that Russel had nothing left in him, but strife and discontentment. He pushed himself up off the ground though, and started away like he said he would. His legs felt weak and his stomach was in knots. He was pretty sure that if he had eaten lunch, it would have been long since puked up. The blonde was thankful his car was nearby since he wasn't sure he could make it much farther with his complete lack of energy
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