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 Posted: Sun Dec 14, 2025 7:25 pm
Julian had been gone for a few hours last Saturday, early in the afternoon, but he’d been back before dinnertime.
He’d been gone for even longer this Saturday. He’d left early in the morning, just a little after breakfast. He hadn’t come back until around five, and even then he’d seemed a bit out of it. Not bad, never bad. Julian smiled. Talked softly, but listened, mostly. He’d gotten home just in time to help Evan set the table, though Evan hadn’t asked, and joined the group for dinner.
It wasn’t like there was a single designated meal time; there were so many people in the house that it was sort of just roulette to determine who you’d be eating with. There were always leftovers. They never lasted long, but no one went hungry here.
The house was, as expected, a bit noisy, in the way that a bustling, lived in place was.
Julian caught Riker’s eyes from across the table. Their gaze held for a moment as something unspoken hovered in the air. He smiled quickly enough that it didn’t seem entirely natural, like he was covering for something else.
Evan served the food, and Julian’s gaze fell to the plate–and then, casually, to whoever was speaking. Mostly, it was Evan and Zac, who had gotten into an argument about a movie Julian had never seen–that Zac had just now put on the list. Julian didn’t eat quickly, but he rarely did.
Tonight, it was because he was mirroring Zac’s pace, but Zac kept pointing at Evan with his fork instead of eating, so Julian’s plate was half untouched fifteen minutes into the meal. He made eyes with Riker several times, like he had something to say but couldn’t quite bring himself to do so.
Evan and Zac’s argument wasn’t resolved by the time Zac got up, but Julian watched as Zac shoveled the rest of his food into his mouth on the way to the sink. He didn’t match that pace, but Evan was still sitting and trying to clear his plate. Julian matched that, instead.
By then, it was already getting late and he still had a list of things to tend to. He took a shower that lasted a little longer than usual, just enough time for steam to billow under the door. He came out pink-skinned but refreshed.
Julian didn’t have many chores, despite his best efforts to accumulate more, so after he took out the trash and recycling, he didn’t really have any obligations but the ones he assigned himself. He was caught up on schoolwork, but not excelling in any subject, and with an SAT score that fell short despite all the effort he’d poured into studying, Julian resigned himself to an hour with textbooks and school notes. Final exams were right around the corner and he’d been so invested in studying that more than once he’d dozed off at his desk.
When alone, he was prone to fidgeting with the pipe-cleaners he’d grown fond of–and, his drawer was mostly emptied thanks to Myles’ interest. He’d made two dozen since he saw Myles earlier this week, but he didn’t want to think about that–or the craft fair, tomorrow.
He was supposed to get updates, but he was already worried that something would go wrong. He hoped Myles wouldn’t be mad at him if they did.
While studying, Julian seemed restless. He stayed focused, but barely. Without the pipe-cleaners to fidget with, his hands found other things to do. Like click his pen anxiously. Or rub at his chest–too tight–as if he could ease the echoes of tension collected throughout the day.
In his determination, he managed to keep his thoughts to himself.
And then, it was bedtime.
He changed into his pajamas, brushed his teeth, and crawled into bed.
It wasn’t until after Riker was in bed too, and the lights were off, that Julian let the quiet settle. He let himself uncoil. Riker could feel him relax in real time. He could probably even feel the way Julian battled the nervous energy attached to whatever it was that he’d been holding onto for the past few hours.
“I met someone today,” Julian said suddenly. His voice was soft and though he still lay on his back, he’d turned his head from the ceiling to face Riker.
The television was on, like it usually was; Julian’s nighttime ritual required a low-volume, low-stress show playing in the background. He used the light to look at Riker. It wasn’t enough to make out all of his features, but it was more of an invitation, anyway.
Some conversations could only exist in the absence of intimacy, where he and Riker would lay back to back or just stare up at the ceiling together while they spoke. They never had to name the rules, they just knew them.
Julian wasn’t looking for one of those conversations tonight.
He just wanted to talk.
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Posted: Tue Dec 16, 2025 6:05 am
For a moment, Riker forgot how to breathe.
He didn’t move, just stared up at the stars on the ceiling, trying to allow his brain a few seconds to catch up. I met someone could mean a lot of things, and every single one of them made Riker’s stomach twist in a different direction.
He didn’t want to assume. Didn’t want to say the wrong thing and make Julian close up again.
So he let out a quiet breath, slow and cautious, and made sure to keep his voice low.
“Yeah?” he hummed, his tone gentle, almost a whisper. “What kind of someone?” he asked, then carefully shifted onto his side so he could see Julian better in the light from the TV, his own expression soft but searching. He didn’t want to pry, but he also didn’t want Julian to think he wasn’t listening, or that he didn’t care, or that he wasn’t worth wondering what was going on.
It was easy to recall the way Julian looked at him from across the table. The way their eyes met as if trying to speak without words. His chest felt too tight, but it was almost as if he had to remind himself that this... Julian talking… was good. There was trust between them already, but it was something more to feel safe enough to share. Riker didn’t want to ruin that.
“You wanna tell me about them?” Riker asked, voice soft and steady but unsure. Even though he sounded calm, he had his fingers curled into the blanket, as though he needed something to ground himself. Because the last thing he wanted was to spook Julian into silence.
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Posted: Tue Dec 16, 2025 6:10 am
“On my Wonder,” Julian said eagerly, like he’d been sitting on this all day. Words didn’t always come quickly to him, but he’d obviously already spent enough time thinking about this that he didn’t need to drag it out for any longer.
“His name’s Cyril.”
When Riker moved to his side, Julian did the same. He half curled, always mindful to take up less than half of the bed. He spoke with quiet enthusiasm, not quite whispering, just soft out of respect for the darkness. They were still winding down for bed, after all. He didn’t need to bleed out all this energy only to rile Riker up “We didn’t talk for very long. I mean, not as long as we could have. But he showed up and I couldn’t think of anything to ask him, so he said we can talk more the next time I go up. I think I’m going to–well, I’d like to–make a list and go back next weekend.”
Julian’s hair had spilled over his face, and while he thought to leave it untouched, he couldn’t help himself and tucked it behind his ears. Half his face was pressed into his pillow but he didn’t mind. Partly, because it made him feel like he was blending in with the bed. Partly, because it was cool and comfortable, which Julian appreciated despite regularly running cold. Even now he was under an extra blanket. He kept his hands and feet to himself, pressed close as he tried to borrow his own body heat to warm up.
Though he watched Riker intently, Julian’s face was devoid of any tension. He spoke without worry or concern, which was impressive mostly because he did not think he’d made a particularly good impression on Cyril, and yet still found himself looking forward to seeing him again.
“He was the Knight of Dering, before I was. I got lost in the forest.” Sort of. “I guess he was there the whole time. I just didn’t look hard enough.”
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Posted: Tue Dec 16, 2025 6:28 am
Riker’s expression softened as Julian spoke.
“Someone from your Wonder,” he echoed, more thoughtful than surprised. It made sense. He knew there were some Knights who carried the bloodlines of the Wonder’s previous Knight, while others were reborn with the same starseed. He didn’t know much about his own history, but if the vague memories said anything, he could guess the latter for himself.
“Cyril,” he repeated quietly, almost to himself. “That’s pretty incredible, Jules.”
He didn’t want to sound like he was just humoring him, so he let what Julian said and his own thoughts settle for a few moments. There was something in Julian’s voice that Riker couldn’t remember hearing before, or at least not very often. Something light, almost calm. It was as if a weight had shifted, but more into place, and not out of balance. It was good. Really good.
But when Julian said he hadn’t looked hard enough, something inside Riker tensed. It was only a small flicker, one he hid by pulling the blanket higher around Julian’s shoulders. He didn’t like the thought of Julian being lost… or thinking it was somehow his fault that he hadn’t found the ghost sooner.
He smoothed his hand over Julian’s arm, brushing out the wrinkles in the blanket, letting the feel of the fabric keep himself grounded before he spoke again.
“Hey,” he said softly, careful with his tone but certain. “I don’t think it’s about looking hard enough. Some things just… don’t show up like they’re supposed to. You found him when you were ready to.”
It wasn’t a lie! Riker believed it at least. But he also hoped Julian understood that he was telling him, in so many words, that he hadn’t done anything wrong.
He hesitated, glancing at Julian again, studying his expression, searching his eyes.
“You don’t have to--” he started, and then paused as he frowned at himself. “I mean, only if you want to… what was he like?” He said it as gently as he could. Cautious. It wasn’t so much curiosity as it was an invitation. He wanted to understand, to know what Julian had experienced, but not at the cost of breaking whatever this calm was that Julian had found.
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Posted: Tue Dec 16, 2025 6:29 am
Riker was looking deeply. Too deep, maybe, but Julian didn’t shy away. One eye was half closed, smushed by his cheek against the pillow, but his gaze lingered on Riker like he was searching for something, too.
Julian flashed a quick smile, an acknowledgement that he’d heard Riker’s reassurance, he knew its intention, but maybe he wasn’t quite so sure about it. It wasn’t a topic worth lingering on; he’d unpack the concept of ‘being ready’ later.
The important thing was that he’d found Cyril–or, rather, Cyril found Julian.
Julian had mentioned, only in passing, that he hoped he’d be able to speak with his Code piece. It wasn’t a secret. He just didn’t like reminding everyone that he hadn’t earned it yet.
“He’s nice,” Julian said first, soft and automatic, like a placeholder he offered while figuring out what he really thought. Of course, even if Cyril had been horrible to him, Julian wouldn’t have found anything bad to say about him.
“He said I was walking somewhere dangerous and stopped me. He’s a little serious, I think. I might have surprised him. Well–he didn’t seem very surprised. He’s a little hard to read.”
His brows furrowed slightly as he dug through his mind, replaying their interaction in quick snippets. He didn’t think he could accurately describe Cyril in the way he deserved but he was determined to try.
“He’s quiet, but–you know–in the way you get when you’ve been alone for a while. He’s been there for a long time. Oh, but I don’t think he was unfriendly. I think I was intruding, a little bit. But he didn’t say it like that. I just think, you know, it’s still his Wonder, in a lot of ways. Isn’t it?”
Julian didn’t dwell on that, either. He was still trying to figure out how to best describe Cyril in a way that would do him justice. “He’s very clever. Much smarter than me. He used a few words and I didn’t know what they meant but I didn’t want to ask. He was, um. Hm,” he paused, letting his gaze drift very briefly as he contemplated. When he was ready to speak again, only a few seconds later, his eyes were back to Riker’s. “He’s honest. Very honest. And he has high standards. He’s a little intense. Or, um–passionate? I think he really cares about Dering. He wants it to be in good hands. So he has a lot of expectations.”
Julian hesitated only briefly to add, “I think I have a lot to learn. But I want to.”
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Posted: Tue Dec 16, 2025 6:30 am
Riker listened intently. Every word seemed to process a bit deeper than it should have. And when Julian paused, Riker’s focus never shifted. There was something about the way Julian spoke, like he was being careful and deliberate with his words. It made Riker think maybe Julian had been turning things over in his head for hours before he said anything out loud. And… maybe that was why Riker didn’t rush to answer. He wanted to make sure he said the right thing back. Or as right as he could manage.
“He sounds…” Riker started, but then caught himself. He pressed his lips tightly together as he thought a moment longer for whatever word he was going to use. He backtracked and adjusted what he was going to say, instead. “Like someone worth meeting.”
It wasn’t a lie. Riker did believe that Cyril was someone worth meeting. But… there was still something in the words Julian spoke -- about expectations, and about being ‘in good hands’ -- that had Riker’s stomach twisting uncomfortably. He didn’t think Cyril meant any harm, but he couldn’t help but wonder how heavy that kind of legacy felt to carry. Especially for Julian.
Riker’s thumb brushed along Julian’s arm, absently smoothing out the blanket again from wrinkles that didn’t exist.
“Hey,” he said after a moment, his tone was soft but certain. “You don’t have to learn everything all at once. Or… like… live up to everything he wants right away,” he said, his voice dropping a little lower, quieter, almost like he wasn’t sure if he should continue.
“You’re already the Knight of Dering. You don’t have to earn it twice.”
He tried to smile, just a little, as if trying to shift things from coming across too serious.
“But I get why you’d want to. If he’s been waiting there for that long… I’d probably want to make him proud, too,” he said gently, but let the words linger between them after that. His hands stayed where it was, warm against Julian’s arm. Meant as a grounding weight more than anything else.
“Sounds like he got lucky,” he added after another pause, voice barely above a whisper. “To have you there now.”
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Posted: Tue Dec 16, 2025 6:30 am
Julian was cold beneath Riker’s hand, and though he didn’t move closer, he didn’t pull away either. Riker’s gentle presence–and warmth–were very welcome. It was cold outside but the chill never quite crept into the house. The temperature was pleasant enough inside that he couldn’t justify using the heated blanket–especially while sharing the bed with Riker–but he’d just been so cold lately, like his body couldn’t keep up with a normal temperature. It was worse when he was lying still, like now, but he was glad for the surplus of blankets, and for when Riker inevitably rolled close enough to warm him up every night.
He laughed softly, briefly, like Riker had told a funny joke. There was an amused sparkle in his eye when Riker suggested Cyril was lucky, and though Julian regarded him with a skeptical look, he was still smiling.
“I don’t know about that,” he said, which was his polite way of saying ‘You know that’s not true but thank you for being sweet about it.’
Riker’s whisper made Julian lean in a little bit. They didn’t have to be so quiet, not up here, but it made Julian feel like they were keeping secrets. In a way, they were.
“He told me not to tell Talia. Well–specifically, when I told him that I lived with the Princess of Lysithea, he told me to keep it to myself. I don’t know why yet. But I had to tell someone.” He’d have told Riker no matter what so he was glad Cyril’s secrecy only seemed to extend to anyone related to Lysithea.
“I think he’s still not sure about me. But that’s okay.” Julian wasn’t sure about himself, either. “I’d like to learn everything all at once. But I can hardly keep up with schoolwork or whatever we’re learning in class, and with finals–”
His stomach twisted so he cut himself off. “Well, I’m not going to dream too big. I hope he won’t think I’m silly if I bring a notebook to take notes. Or maybe Soleiyu could let me borrow a recorder or something. I haven’t figured it all out yet. But I don’t want to miss anything.”
He might have been the Knight of Dering but Julian didn’t really feel like he’d even earned it once. It sort of just landed in his lap. He’d spent most of his time floundering and struggling and falling behind his friends. It had taken him months to even figure out how to use his magic.
Julian wasn’t going to win any awards for being the best Knight–or even a good one–but he might get an honorable mention for trying. And, he had tried–he gave it his best effort. Always. It just didn’t square up to expectations, probably. But he wasn’t going to give up. He kept trying, even if progress was slow and if he never felt like he was doing enough to earn it.
But, he tried. And he’d keep trying.
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Posted: Tue Dec 16, 2025 6:30 am
Riker huffed softly through his nose. It wasn’t quite a laugh, but close enough that it helped the tension in his shoulders to ease.
“You don’t know about that, huh?” he hummed, a small grin tugging at the corner of his mouth. “Guess I’ll have to disagree.”
He didn’t push it. Julian’s quiet laugh had already eased some of the heaviness in his chest, and Riker didn’t want to tip the scale by doing too much. He stayed where he was, half on his side, still listening to everything Julian shared with him.
When Julian mentioned Cyril’s request about not telling Talia, Riker’s brows furrowed slightly. “That’s… kinda weird,” he mumbled, but his tone wasn’t judgemental, just thoughtful. “But I’m glad you told me. Sounds like he didn’t mean it as a bad thing. Just… I guess something he doesn’t want shared for now. Probably old Knight business. Maybe he doesn’t want to stir up Lysithea politics or whatever.”
Even as he said it, he wasn’t sure he believed it. But he wasn’t going to give Julian more to worry about than he already had.
He could feel the coolness under the blanket as he rested his hand on Julian. Riker’s thumb brushed lightly against it again, but it wasn’t like that would help warm him up any. So he just shifted a little closer, hoping that his warmth was able to carry over to Julian.
“Hey,” he said again, gentle and certain. “If you wanna bring a notebook, you should. I think he’d respect that. Shows you’re serious. And if he doesn’t, I’ll tell him he’s wrong.” He smiled, but his voice softened again. “You don’t have to have it all figured out. Trying definitely counts for something. You’re still learning. And if he’s as smart and clever as you say he is, he’ll see that soon enough.”
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Posted: Tue Dec 16, 2025 6:31 am
Julian laughed softly but shrugged. “Maybe. I’m not a very good student though, so I hope he doesn’t get tired of me. I’ll have to try my best.”
And, he would. He always did.
But, something had been gnawing at the back of his mind. He curled up a little tighter, like doing so might generate a little more heat and jumpstart his brain.
His stomach flopped again, and he heard a distant crackle from the back of his mind. The weight of guilt, and shame, and wrongness tickled, every so often.
His mouth felt dry when he asked, but he spoke quickly, like he’d spent a lot of time thinking about it already.
“Do you really think it’s weird that he asked me not to tell her? I thought he might just be nervous. I would be, if you told me that a princess was walking around on a world I was supposed to protect? I think I’d be very worried she might not be happy with me. Oh–not that she has any reason to be unhappy with him. Not that I know of, at least. But I thought it made sense. Maybe he’s shy?” Julian suggested.
It was all too easy to imagine being the lone inhabitant of a Wonder for so long–the first person you met in who-knew-how-long was the person who was supposed to take your job, and the second was the princess? Right?
If it had been Julian–well, Julian might have hidden for much longer if he’d been in Cyril’s shoes. Maybe forever.
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Posted: Tue Dec 16, 2025 6:31 am
Riker blinked, and then frowned lightly. Not at Julian, but at himself.
“Hey, no, I didn’t mean it like that,” he said quickly, tone low but sincere. “I just meant it was… unexpected, I guess. Not bad-weird. Just… ‘huh, didn’t see that coming’ weird.”
He shifted his weight, leaning his head a little closer to Julian’s, still watching him in the dim light from the TV.
“It actually makes sense the way you put it. If he’s been up there alone for that long, I can’t really blame him for being careful. Or nervous. Maybe he’s worried about saying something dumb. I know that’s what I’d be worried about.”
He smiled a little, hoping to put Julian at ease again. “So yeah. You’re probably right. Maybe he’s just shy.”
Riker tugged the blanket up another inch around Julian’s shoulders -- a casual movement, like it was just habit, though it was really because Julian still felt cold beneath his hand. He lingered a moment longer, then rested his arm back where it was, hoping to give Julian a little more warmth through gentle contact.
“I think he’s lucky you’re the one who found him,” Riker added quietly, almost like he was saying it to himself. “If you’d switched places, you’d probably have done the same thing. You know… waited until it felt safe to talk.”
He hesitated, searching Julian’s expression before his voice softened a little more. “And you don’t give yourself enough credit, Jules. You’re a good student. Grades be damned. You just learn in your own way. You pay attention to things that actually matter. Besides,” he continued, the corners of his mouth twitching into something half teasing and half fond. “I don’t think a ghost who’s been sitting around for a thousand years is in any position to get tired of you.”
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Posted: Tue Dec 16, 2025 6:31 am
As Riker pulled up the blanket, Julian shrank under it welcomingly. It wasn’t that he needed permission, sometimes he just forgot how to take care of himself. Or that he was allowed to. Riker’s warmth extended beyond his touch, and Julian smiled appreciatively.
He was equally reassured by Riker’s words, and whatever unseen worry broiled beneath the surface was, at least temporarily, placated. Julian’s face relaxed, and his shoulders soon after.
“I think he’s actually in the perfect position to get tired of me. He’s had a thousand years of peace, what if I’m ruining that?" he asked. There was most certainly some truth in the question but Julian sounded like he was in a pleasant mood, and even laughed softly. “I mean, Riker, how can someone be a good student if their grades are only okay?”
He shook his head, and when he settled back in place he was still facing Riker. He wasn’t hiding as much in his pillow. “I might ask too many questions, or talk too much, or say the wrong thing. I might be very annoying. I’m worried about that, a lot. But I’m also excited. I just hope I don’t mess things up. I really want him to like me.”
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Posted: Tue Dec 16, 2025 6:32 am
Riker huffed a quiet breath that might’ve been a laugh, but it came out softer than that.
“You couldn’t ruin peace if you tried,” he smiled, subtle amusement in his voice, clearly feeding off of Julian’s excitement. “Pretty sure peace could use a little noise anyway.”
He shifted again, propping his head on his hand so he could see Julian better in the faint light. The corners of his mouth tugged up into a small smile, one that reached his eyes.
“You’re not annoying. You just… care. You think about things and pay attention when others don’t. That’s not something anyone gets tired of, Jules,” he insisted, his voice softening a bit more as he continued.
“And hey… grades don’t decide if you’re a good student. Standardized testing’s just to see if you can beat their system -- half those questions are traps anyway. And essays?” He huffed out a short, knowing breath. “They’re easier for people who don’t think so deeply about things. Ten years from now, it won’t be the grades you remember, but the parts you figured out about yourself. At least that’s what I tell myself when I bomb a test.”
He forced out an exasperated sigh, but it was aimed at himself, not Julian.
“But if it’s important to you that your grades are better than only okay, then it’s important to me too,” he said finally, decisively. “We’ll make it work. I’ll help you study. You’ve got people who want to see you do well.”
He hesitated just long enough to reach out, brushing his fingers over Julian’s wrist before letting them rest there. It was a feather light touch, but steady. “You don’t have to do any of it alone, even if you think you have to. And I still think he’s the lucky one. He couldn’t have had a kinder, more gentle soul to take up the mantle of Knight of Dering.” A pause, and then, “If he doesn’t like you, then he’s stupid and you shouldn’t listen to him.” He ended with another huff, because who couldn’t like Julian? It sounded fake to him.
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Posted: Tue Dec 16, 2025 6:32 am
Julian laughed again, but this time it was as soft as it was panicked. “Riker!” he scolded, but his voice was devoid of even faux outrage. “He’s not stupid! I promise, I’ll take you up to meet him sometime. Um, if he lets me, I mean. I should probably ask first.”
It was Julian’s Wonder as much as Cyril’s. He wasn’t sure if that made it less his Wonder with Cyril there, or if he was supposed to think of it as his own as he always had. Maybe that was something to figure out after he’d learned a bit more.
He didn’t need to make any decisions now, and certainly not any big, or confusing, ones.
“I hope you’ll be nice to him when you meet. He could probably use a few more friends. If that’s not too presumptuous for me to say? I just think it’s really lonely up there. I mean, there’s no animals. And the Code is very particular about conversations. I forgot to ask if he could talk to the Code. I’ll have to write that down.”
For a second, it seemed as though he might stretch himself over the bed to find the notebook he kept tucked just out of sight. He didn’t ever really explain what he wrote in it, but sometimes he woke up in the middle of the night and had to write something down. It wasn’t always after a nightmare, or even a dream. Sometimes, it was like he just woke up and remembered something, or had an idea he didn’t want to forget.
Julian decided that asking about the Code piece probably wasn’t something he was going to forget, so he stayed put. If he forgot what he was going to ask, Riker could just remind him. Besides, it was warm under the blankets. He didn’t want to move.
“Do you think, maybe, it’s not actually a good thing to be too gentle? Oh, maybe that’s a silly question. Don’t worry about it,” he insisted, and closed his eyes like he had suddenly been inspired to go to sleep.
It didn’t last. He opened his eyes a few seconds later. When he spoke again, it was quiet–out of habit more than purpose. It wasn’t like anyone was going to hear them talking up here, even if they were at full volume. Maybe even if they’d been shouting. “Thank you, Riker. You do so much for me, and I know you don’t have to. Studying with me probably sounds really boring. Even if you won’t think poorly of me, sometimes I think it’s a little bit of a waste. I mean, I only remember half of what I study, no matter how hard I try. Or, I remember it, but it’s at the wrong time. I have to get better about that.” He exhaled, like he’d been holding a breath for too long, only he didn’t even seem to know where it had come from.
“I wish I could think about grades the way you do. I’m not in extracurriculars like you so I’m pretty much just whatever people see on paper. Ten years from now, I think I might still be thinking about grades.” Probably in the middle of the night, or after a nightmare where he failed a test and got kicked out of school or something. “...But I’ll also think about how much faith you had in me. I hope I don’t let you down. I’m probably just overthinking. I’ve had a lot to think about today.”
This week. This month. This year.
“You’d think my brain would be tired. But it’s really working hard,” he laughed again, a quiet thing. “I hope it’s working this hard when I see Cyril again. Or for that history test on Monday.”
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Posted: Tue Dec 16, 2025 6:32 am
Riker’s expression softened as Julian spoke. Every word felt like a weight in his chest, but not in a bad way! More like something he wanted to take care of.
“Hey,” he said quietly, almost a whisper. “Being gentle isn’t a bad thing, Jules. It’s one of the best things. You don’t have to change that about yourself. That’s what the rest of us are here for, yeah? If anyone ever tries to take advantage of your gentleness, they’ll definitely regret it. You know me or any of our other friends won’t stand for that.”
There wasn’t any real sharpness in his tone. It was still steady and calm, more like a promise than a threat.
He smiled faintly and brushed his thumb over the inside of Julian’s wrist, the touch careful and deliberate.
“You don’t have to get tougher to be enough. You can just be you,” he praised, and then added with a soft huff of a laugh. “And I’ll be nice to Cyril. I promise. I’m not that bad, I hope! I can behave when I have to. Especially if you’re there.” He paused and grinned a little wider. “Maybe he knows some tricks for studying. Guess we’ll find out. And you don’t have to thank me. I don’t do any of this because I have to. I do it because I want to. Studying with you isn’t boring… it’s time with you. And if you only remember half of it, that’s still half more than if you did it alone.”
He shifted closer, just enough that their shoulders brushed beneath the blanket. And maybe close enough that if Julian decided to reach for the mysterious notebook he liked to write in at night, he could do it without feeling like he was disturbing Riker.
“You won’t let me down, Jules. It’s not possible. You’ve already done more than you think you have,” he said, and then after a quiet pause he let out a breath. “Your brain can rest, though. You can save some of that hard work for tomorrow. I’ll help you study for the history test. We’ll make sure it sticks in the right part of your head this time. And I can help you with some questions for Cyril, if you’d like.”
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Posted: Tue Dec 16, 2025 6:33 am
There was much to be said on being gentle, but Julian wasn’t going to change any time soon. He didn’t know how to be anything but gentle. He wasn’t a good student. He probably couldn’t learn anything else, anyway.
He wasn’t ever going to be a fighter.
When Riker thumbed his wrist, Julian rotated it just slightly, as if to offer easier access. He didn’t mind the contact–maybe even liked it. It tickled, but not in the way that made him tense up or worry about what to expect next. It was just nice. Gentle. Soft.
“You’re not bad, Riker.”
Julian shifted positions so he could lay flat on his back, and though he could have turned his head to look up at the stars, he made sure he still faced Riker. He watched his face in the flickering light of the television. It wasn’t an exciting show, not dark or dramatic, so he could still make out his details easily.
“I wish I could just tell my brain to rest and it would. It does what it wants. Maybe it’ll listen to you, though. It must, I always remember more when I study with you.” He’d appreciate the help. With past and present; he needed to study for them both.
His hands twitched like they should be doing something.
“Thank you for always looking after me, Riker. I hope I don’t give you too much trouble.”
Something like sleepiness had crept into his voice, but Julian intended to fend it off for as long as possible. His body had other ideas, and before he could stop it, he was yawning. His hand pressed over his mouth out of politeness at first, but the sudden, sharp crack of his jaw had him muzzling himself quickly, as if the damage hadn’t already been done.
It wasn’t the first time his jaw made such a sick popping noise; Riker had heard it before. It didn’t hurt, not really. It wasn’t so different from cracking his knuckles. It was just in his face.
The soreness that followed was minimal, and quick to abate–especially when he massaged into his cheeks. “Sorry,” he said, muffled slightly as he dug his unskilled fingers into his face, prodding bone and muscle alike.
Strange noises from his body had become more frequent in the last few months, and he’d chalked it off to growing pains–not that he’d grown–or just the fallout of falling asleep in weird positions so often.
They capped at ‘mildly uncomfortable’ even if they sounded like he was snapping off parts of his body. A knee popping, a shoulder clicking, his neck cracking. The noises seemed to surprise him more than hurt him, and he’d woken Riker up more than once just by rattling his bones as he stretched in the morning.
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