Welcome to Gaia! ::

When Ilmare had stepped out to patrol, her entire intention had been to be just visible enough to anyone on her side that they’d assume she was behaving and leave her alone. Then, she’d had every intention of ******** right off and finding a quiet spot to hang out in. She hadn’t even bothered with trying to siphon the energy from random civilians. The thought of doing so made her feel queasy. In fact, she’d been so wrapped up in her plan to appear compliant that she hadn’t bothered to pay attention to anything that wasn’t Chaos touched.

Her first indication that something was wrong was the fact that everything had gone silent and colorless. Looking up and around, she saw a very clearly Not Human senshi approaching her. She listened to his words and couldn’t help but stare at him, mouth slightly agape. She’d only been walking and trying to stay away from people! Fortunately, or unfortunately, her instinct for self preservation kicked in and she whispered, “Fairy Bells Knell.”

Her intention had been to summon her wicked little harebell cup and hold it. Just to have in case things got bad. But now her magic wasn’t working and she rapidly connected that to the loss of color and sound. And then connected that to the strange senshi. And above all was the thought that she was defenseless.

s**t.

“You being able to use magic hardly makes things even,” Ilmare shot back without thinking. So this was how the lower level agents and knights felt! Really, she was delighted for the learning experience. But none of that was going to get her out of a fight she’d never asked for. She suspected that trying to run would end badly. Thus she did the only reasonable thing she could think of.

Sitting abruptly on the ground, she reached into subspace and fumbled for a moment until she withdrew her hand to reveal a lighter and a pack of cloves. Knocking one of the cigarettes free, she held it between her lips and lit up. Closing her eyes, she inhaled deeply. And when she exhaled, it was slow and deliberate.

“I will not justify my existence to you,” she began, voice steady with artificial calm. “I haven't been doing anything objectionable and I am too ******** tired of magical bullshit to want to cope with whatever your deal is at the moment.”

She was acutely aware that she might be pushing her luck, but it was going to be really hard for him to come across as the good guy if he attacked her while she was clearly not a threat. Taking another slow drag, she held it before blowing out a smoke ring. In this instance, she was the innocent and ******** anyone who tried to assign blame and guilt to her.

“How the hell does that even work?” Ilmare asked, interested in spite of herself. “Does that mean if someone was only being kept alive by magic, your little party trick would kill ‘em?” She wasn't sure she wanted to think too much about the ramifications of such a thing and was quick to take another drag as a means of distracting herself. But the awful door had been opened and she wondered what would happen if Laurelite got caught in this sort of attack. Would she die? Be powerless for the few precious seconds it might take to permanently remove her from the board?

Ugh, it was too much to think about. And dangerous besides. Better to focus on the attempt at a lecture and answer it with a decidedly unladylike snort that could be interpreted as agreement or annoyance.

“Preachin’ to the choir there, my dude.”

Nihility, huh? Maybe not the most out there power set, but close. And not alarmingly powerful. Firmly shoving aside her fantasies of a Laurelite-less world, it was Ilmare’s turn to look thoughtful as she considered the other senshi's question.

“You're going to have to bear with me for a moment,” she said as she shifted position slightly on the concrete. “Last person I tried explaining this to from your side was, I think, a lot more interested in proving she was better than me so I kind of stopped trying to explain at all.”

Glancing at the cigarette in her hand, she ground it out and lit a new one. After a moment, she was composed enough to try and explain her reasoning. “So how much do you actually know about us? Not conjecture or rumor. Actual fact about how we're set up. We're told that your lot are leaderless, undisciplined and lacking in the ability to truly work together. I promise I am going somewhere with this.”

Maybe it was a lack in knowledge that had led to the lady knight's attitude. Or maybe girly had just been ******** insane. Whichever it was, Ilmare had decided to take a different approach this time.

Nodding, Ilmare thought quickly. She couldn't and wouldn't share any deep secrets. There was no point in making a bigger target of herself after all. “Good enough. Now, imagine an entire subdivision whose only job is to know things. Who you are out of uniform, where you live. In a lot of cases who your nearest and dearest are and where to find them.”

The corrupt senshi paused for effect, closing her eyes and massaging the bridge of her nose before continuing. “Everything is a hierarchy and even the watchers are watched. And there have always been rumors and stories that filter through the ranks. A missing agent here, a new pack of youma there that look an awful lot like that family you used to see running the corner bodega…” She paused again, swallowing hard against the nausea and dread. “If I run, it's not just myself I have to consider. If I was alone in the world it would be easier. There'd be less of a hold on me. As it stands now? Is my freedom worth sacrificing my parents? Is it worth condemning my little nieces and nephews to be experimented on should my superiors decide to go all out? The knight I met thought it was. I'm hoping you can see and understand why I happen to disagree with her take on things.”

So many stories. So many rumors and whispers in the dark.

“Thank you,” Ilmare’s voice was soft, barely above a whisper. To have shared her fears and hesitations and found sympathy meant a great deal to her. Enough so that she was willing to ask for grace for any others like herself. Because she highly doubted that she was the only frightened and wounded animal in the place. “I don't want you to think that everyone there is a monster. Some are, some aren't and some simply don't care either way. Some of the ones like me make it over. They must or there wouldn't be a prohibition on evening mentioning purification.”

Sighing a little, Ilmare felt some of the tension in her shoulders release. It was enough to let her audibly crack her neck. “I'll find my way over someday. But it won't be before I can ensure that no innocents will be forced to pay in my stead.