|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
 Posted: Sat Oct 02, 2004 8:05 am
Announcements:
4-13-04: We have picked up a new writer, welcome Miss Erika Kneesmiter (eevie_vie)
the april edition of the AM times will be out by next wednesday.
12-09-04: Happy Hogswatch, Dyskworlde Citizens! new issue, with the introduction of pratchett spotting and event notification, as well as the continuance of the reader spotlight interveiw. as always, people who'd like to write an article for us can send it in at the main office and be paid if i choose it! heart
11-11-04: adding new sections to the paper, still searching for people and sources to help me fill up space.
coming soon:
heart pratchett spotting
heart reader interviews
heart Discworld Words
heart Guild dinner! wink
10-05-04: From now on, this is just for posting issues and the occasional announcement. if you wish to submit something for the paper, apply for a job or other paper-related issues, please go to the main office RP thread.
thank you!
10-02-04: as we pick up the remains of the office from the latest Great Fire, we welcome any letters or new columnists who wish to try their luck.
new issue on post 4.
9-12-04- a. please post all replies in the form of letters to the editor, it just looks neater that way. thank you. ~ed. Pocky.
---------- b. anythign you want in an official issue, send to my mule account, Cockroach of Love , or my brother's account, Tyck
---------- The times will be taking advertisements for 50 pence an issue. if you wish to have something written in the times, such as birthday/ holiday greetings or other announcements, it is 10 pence per line.
7-xx-04-Issue #3 on post 5You see a wooden shack built at the side of the road. It has piles of newspapers and a few other publications, along with a bowl full of coins, presumably to pay. as you pick up a paper, a rather scruffy, small grey terrier growls at you. you seem to hear "I'd pay for that if I was you, mister..." you look around puzzled, but drop a coin into the bowl anyway. dogs don't talk... you think, as you flip through the paper. attached to the stand is a piece of paper: Quote: Welcome to The News Stand. here you can peruse the current edition of the AM times and find things you missed in back issues. enjoy yourself! (price 5 pence per issue. please don't forget to pay.)
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Oct 02, 2004 8:08 am
Back issues: PockyFille Ankh Morpork Times issue #1"] Prose, poetry and prizes: a contest well won. In the last few months there was a call: a call forpoets writers and general miscreants to come out and express their love for all things pratchett-y and discworldian. the turnout was unfortunately low, but those that did participate were all quite good. for a full list of winners,. and the winning peices, turn to page 3 Fast growing guild system: what will come next? The City of Ankh-Morpork (well, the guild anyaway) is growing fast, with new guilds and organizations every day. from the seamstresses to the theives and wizards, if you're not represented for yet, you soon will be. and of course, every guild will be invited to the Times annual dinner, date to be announced in a later issue. Page 3 of 1: cause and solution Several of the threads have an extra page tacked onto the end, courtesy of gaia teething errors. these phantom pages occur when there have been many posts and edits in a new (or sometimes old) thread, and just have to be delt with. for now, try clicking the second to last page of most multi-page threads, and see if the newest posts are there. we just have to keep patient and wish lanzer and co the best of luck in working out the bugs. and much more that you could've figured out for yourself! :wink PockyFille __________________Ankh-Morpork Times
_________"The truth shall make ye frep"______________________ Issue TwoNew Staff Member Warmly Welcomed We wish to welcome to the staff here at the times, Miss Kuroh. a lovely fiction writer, she's now our editor in charge of audience submissions! there will be a small receptoion for her with tea and buns later this evening. Times Seeking Pictures The times is currently seeking Iconographers and Engravers to privide the times with a bit more visual interest. Should have own equipment and be willing to work for little to no pay. applicants should apply to Kuroh. PockyFille EEEEEEE!!!! .. ahem... http://www.harpercollins.com/catalog/event_search.asp?authorid=7848__________________Ankh-Morpork Times
_________"The truth shall make ye frer"______________________ Issue ThreeFamed Author Coming To U.S. The times has discovered that the author of the famed discworld series, Terry Pratchett (50?), is coming to the US on a signing tour for his latest book, "Going Postal". We are pleased to inform you of the fallowing dates and locations of the three day tour: heart Tuesday, September 07, 2004 06:00 PMTerry Pratchett, will be promoting Going Postal Appears on/at: BOSTON PUBLIC LIBRARY/Speaking/Signing 700 Boyleston Street, Boston, MA 02116 Tel: /617-859-2217dir heart Wednesday, September 08, 2004 07:00 PMTerry Pratchett, will be promoting Going Postal Appears on/at: FREE LIBRARY OF PHILADELPHIA/Speaking/Signing Montgomery Auditorium 1901 Vine Street, Philadelphia, PA 19103 Tel: 215.567.4341 heart Friday, September 10, 2004 07:30 PMTerry Pratchett, will be promoting Going Postal Appears on/at: BORDERS BAILEY'S CROSSROADS/Speaking/Signing 5871 Crossroads Center Way, Bailey's Crossroads, VA 22041 Tel: 703-998-0121 Dates and times are subject to change. Please contact venue to confirm details Readers in the areas of Massachusetts, Pennsylvania, and Virginia are wished good luck in braving the lines and recieving a autograph from our favorite author. Frantic Editor wants copy! The Editor of the times, PockyFille (17) wishes it to be known she is willign to pay IRL money for a signed.. anything.. from mr. Terry Pratchett, as she most likely will not be able to get to any of the states mentioned above. more details to be announced later. Times Welcomes Readership Input The Times office of readership say that any reader commentary is welcome, and if they would like to see it printed in the times, then send a clacks(PM) to the abovementioned office, care of Cockroach of Love (old mule account) Also, news Items of interest sent to the times will be worth 20p(g) if used in a priting. send to abovementioned office
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Oct 02, 2004 8:13 am
PockyFille __________________Ankh-Morpork Times
_________"The truth shall make ye frep"______________________ Issue FourReader Spotlight Interview[color=white] from time to time we here at the times will single out one of our esteemed readers, to get to know them.
this issue's interveiwee is Alanya , who appearantly lives quite close to everyone's favorite author. let's see what happens, shall we?question the first: 1. When did you first lean you lived near the inestimable terry pratchett? Approximately two years ago, though of course I moved to the area simply to be closer to his divine spirit 3nodding (as I might add, all truly dedicated fans would of course do the same) 2. Have you ever seen 'im in person? Does mr. pratchett do any publi-type appearances in the area? He normally attends the Brighton fringe festival literary err.... thing. I have not attended this particular event (last year he cancelled crying ) and the year before I was aware of his appearance only after the festival was over.... So although I not met him in person…. yet, I have briefly met his son (who is nice enough) though I was unaware of it at the time. 3. Have you ever been attacked by jealous fellow fans who wished they lived that close? Are you scared of said occurrence happening now you've read that question? xd Luckily all the diskworld fans I know already live this close (some closer) OR are across a rather large pond (for which I am grateful) I am more scared of you than any general fan, now you have brought it up..... 4. Have you ever gone to a pratchett themed convention or fantasy/sci-fi convention where Pterry was a guest? if so, tell us about that.Unfortunately no, I think having a convention so close to his home would probably encourage people to make the pilgrimage (in full dress of course) to his family home which he probably would not appreciate... though we can only try wink It is generally known among the local population that he is a bit of a grumpy git who is bored of humour, so its unwise to crack joke around him (you think he carrys that cane to either help him walk or look artsy?? I think not!) 5. erm...What's your favourite pratchett book? Least Favourite?Least favourite: Pyramids, thought it has been a long time since I have read it so I will be giving it a second chance. Favourite: The witches books 6. Favourite Character?A tough choice between granny weatherwax (of course) and vimes because he is so well developed as a character... 7. Damn, i'm out of questions.. what's the most discworld-esque thing that's ever happened to you?Spending time with a Scottish co-worker while drunk whee I swear he turned blue at one point, and he has 'ohhh wally wally' in my daily vocab gonk well, I think that's about it. Thank you for the interveiw! PockyFille ed. in chief A-M Fire[color=white] In a devestating Inferno that ripped our *cough* "fair city" to smouldering, ashy shreds, the 3rd Great Fire rushed through Ankh-Morpork last week. But as always, the plucky and intrepid citizens of AM are rebuilding more inflammable than ever. keep up your tar thatching and wood constructions, guys! New Book Released[color=white] I suppose it is possible to pratchett to realease a book and his fans not know about it, so here's some news. Mr. Pratchett's Latest book, Going Postal, has just been released. there is also a sweepstakes related to the book at terrypratchettbooks.com to win a signed copy. official book description:
Arch-swindler Moist Van Lipwig never believed his confidence crimes were hanging offenses -- until he found himself with a noose tightly around his neck, dropping through a trapdoor, and falling into ... a government job?
By all rights, Moist should have met his maker. Instead, it's Lord Vetinari, supreme ruler of Ankh-Morpork, who promptly offers him a job as Postmaster. Since his only other option is a nonliving one, Moist accepts the position -- and the hulking golem watchdog who comes along with it, just in case Moist was considering abandoning his responsibilities prematurely.
Getting the moribund Postal Service up and running again, however, may be a near-impossible task, what with literally mountains of decades-old undelivered mail clogging every nook and cranny of the broken-down post office building; and with only a few creaky old postmen and one rather unstable, pin-obsessed youth available to deliver it. Worse still, Moist could swear the mail is talking to him. Worst of all, it means taking on the gargantuan, money-hungry Grand Trunk clacks communication monopoly and its bloodthirsty piratical head, Mr. Reacher Gilt.
But it says on the building neither rain nor snow nor glo m of ni t ... Inspiring words (admittedly, some of the bronze letters have been stolen), and for once in his wretched life Moist is going to fight. And if the bold and impossible are what's called for, he'll do it -- in order to move the mail, continue breathing, get the girl, and specially deliver that invaluable commodity that every human being (not to mention troll, dwarf, and, yes, even golem) requires: hope.Book description and excerptBook on sale now!
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Oct 02, 2004 8:33 am
PockyFille __________________Ankh-Morpork Times
_________"The truth shall make ye frep"______________________ Issue Five ____________________ Happy Hosgwatch! Pratchett Spotting -itym thee firste: a sausage-toting, throat-cutting vendor has recently been spotted in the archives of Okashina Okashi/ Strange Candy. The dibbler is truly universal... as are the *results* of his sausages. - ityme the secunde: Some place names in the movie Ever After are discworldian. While the way "Genua" is said could possibly be "Genoa", a real world city, Contesse Nicole de Lancre (pronounced lahn-crah) is definitly an escapee of the ramtops. Interveiw Hello, and welcome to another episode of "reader spotlight" Today's Guest is RandomSamurai, who more than merely living near the master of writing, has actually met the man. 1.Where and When did you meet Mr. Pratchett? Was it a lecture, a convention,etc?It was at a lecture type dealy as part of his Going Postal signing tour in Australia. Basically he rambled for an hour and a half and then signed books.2.If a lecture, what sort of things did he talk about?He vaguelly followed his notes but pretty much rambled. He told some great stories. One was about when he and his daughter met a bunch of live action roleplayers in full platemail while going for a walk in the woods near his house. Another was about a near death experience he recently had during an operation when he halucinated a man in the corner of the room with a tray full of sandwiches and kept trying to get up and get some during the operation.
Then he talked about the next book he's writing and answered some questions.3.What was PTerry like in person? is there anything special you'd like to tell us about, such as pictures, randoim interesting events, etc?He was a champ. He was really really funny. Didn't expect the lisp though.
Part of the whole thing was a costume competition (which I didn't enter because I didn't have the time to put together anything decent.) Three guys, complete strangers, all came as Nac Mac Feegle's. They were wearing nothing but kilts and had painted themselves entirely blue and dyed their hair red. It was awesome. They won. I spoke to one of them and he was an officer in the navy.
Also the age group was amazing. There were 14 year olds named kevin (that's an in joke, only those of us who've heard the man talk will get it wink ) and there were 60 year old ladies and everyone in between. There was a family, husband, wife and daughter dressed as Dibbler, Granny or Nanny, it was unclear, and Magrat. And one woman was dressed as Mrs. Cake with her two sons dressed as the Duck Man and the Death of Rats. It was heartwarming.4.Have you ever been attacked by jealous fellow fans who wished they'd seen him? Are you scared of said occurrence happening now you've read that question?Can't say that I have, though I wouldn't really mind if said jealous fans were attractive young girls who wanted to experience second hand Pratchettness via physical (and naked) contact.ed pocky: somehow i doubt that'll happen. nice try though. xd 5.What's your favourite pratchett book? Least Favourite? Favourite is always so hard, but I'm going to go with Night Watch for now, probably followed by Feet of Clay, Reaper Man and Hogfather.
Least favourite is definitely Equal Rites. It makes me sad just thinking of its existence, tarnishing the brilliant shine of the series like some kind of shine tarnishing fungal disease. E.P.: aww, it's not *that* bad, just an early one.6.Favourite Character? Vimes, Death and the Feegles. At the moment.7.What's the most discworld-esque thing that's ever happened to you?I'll pick a few. I've had a man with the head of a cow run up and wave his arms at me in the car only to dissapear into the night (I swear to you this is absolutely true. It might have been a fake cow head, but that ruins the story).
There's this whole team of guys in my city that run around it in lycra suits with bounce boots, think roller blades with springs instead of wheels. Each has a different themed suit, hence I've named them Eightees Jump Man and Green Jump Man etc. They have advertisements sown into their suits and I assume they fight crime, though I've never actually seen them do it. Orange Jump Man jumped over a table at a cafe for me once though, which was totally awesome.
Also there are a lot of interesting homeless people in my area that carry around bags and bags worth of newspapers, play pieces of wood like soundless guitars, perform speaches and scenes from shakespear on benches and dress like women. Those aren't quite as unusual as the other two things I mentioned but they're probably more Dscworldish, I can definitely imagine them walking the streets of Ankh Morpork with Foul Ole Ron.Poll of the issue have you met mr pratchett?met, stalked, what's the difference? 16% [ 2 ] Met, talked with, maybe even got a picture 16% [ 2 ] I only saw him from a distance at an event 0% [ 0 ] you lucky barstards have seen him?! 66% [ 8 ] Stamp Collecting The official disworld stamps will soon be available for purchase, from "The Cunning Artificer"a shop that sells limited edition discworld artifacts- sauch as the new stamps, the ankh-morpork passport, and more. see the links below. from the terrypratchettbooks.com website, the official discworld stampshttp://www.terrypratchettbooks.com/discworld/stamp_flyer.pdf www.discworldstamps.com also, for some lovely pictures of Pterry in a blue velvet victorian postmastter's outfit year change 2005, the year of the suspiciously large shrimp. "For 2005 will be the year of the Prawn, and that is official that is, cos Terry said so." -taken from the cunningartificer.co.uk website they're manufacturing a mystic prawn medallion, if any of y'all care to get one. :p there's plenty of other nifty stuff floating around that website, so i suggest you snoop around yourself. Sister Cities/ Twin Towns Apparently two years ago Ankh morpork was made a sister city to a real town in Somerset, England, called Wincanton. This year the first Ankh- Morpork post office will open there with an event, Dec 11th. (wow, so soon!) and Mr. pratchett will post the first letter. hopefully one of our guild members can go and give us a report! (details at the cunning artificer website, google search )
http://money.independent.co.uk/property/homes/story.jsp?story=583522
http://homepage.mac.com/keith_gould/Wincanton/Personal28.html that's all i have for now, so Ed. Pocky is signing off. i'd like to interview any member that can actually make it to this event.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon May 09, 2005 2:00 pm
PockyFille __________________Ankh-Morpork Times
_________"The truth shall make ye fres"______________________ Issue Six Quote: DEADLY MURDER IN GLEAM STREET!
Man Found Stabbed in Alley With Lots of Holes
(He had the holes, not the alley)
Watch (Possibly) Baffled - In'stgn Cnting by Erik(a) Kneesmiter, A-M Times Gleam Street was far from gleaming last night when a bloody corpse was found mere feet from the door of a well known drinking establishment. An unidentified man, described by Watch Sgt. Fred Colon ("mmf") as "dead man, wearing black, lots of holes in him," was found by several off-duty Watchmen outside The Bucket in Gleam Street late last night. The alley outside the Bucket, known as the unofficial Watchmen's pub (the Bucket, not the alley), was soon swarming with the Watch, as well as bystanders, hot sandwich salespersons, and pigeons. The man lay in a pool of blood not far from a nearby wall, with the trail of blood leading directly to the wall and stopping. This development may indicate that the man had been stabbed before reaching the Bucket and, with mortal injuries, had climbed down the wall seeking aid. When asked about this detail and others, Sgt. Colon replied, "N'frthr cmt. Mmf." The in'stgn is cnting, Colon added. Quote: Unknown Illustrations Discovered in Beloved Author's Early work Editor Pocky reportingThrough the great minds at the University library, new fragments of our favorite author's early work have surfaced. these rare illustrations that accompanied the first printing of Carpet People, drawn by Terry Pratchett himself can be found on display in the library. http://www.ie.lspace.org/art/carpet-people/ They're really quite amusing and show a previously unknown side of a celebrated author. Quote: Local Businessperson Branches Out, AgainAnkh-Morpork's own well known entrepreneur and sausage-inna-bun purveyor, C.M.O.T. Dibbler (unknown), has teamed with English actor Stephen Briggs (54) to bring the merchandise of the Big Wahoonie to those who would like souvenirs of the city without the problems inherent in going there. Mr. Dibbler's latest scheme, or as some would say, "business venture," involves the sale of products including the following: - An Honorary Doctorus Adamus c** Flabello Dulce from Unseen University. Comes with certificate and badge. Sweet Fanny Adams not included. - A smart scarf in navy, crimson, yellow and purple, featuring the crest of UU embroidered on one end. - An authentic A-M City Watch badge, not stolen in any way from the Watch House. Really. - The Official Pin of the Uberwald Temperance League, featuring the black ribbon and the official motto, "Living Not in Vein". - A tea towel from the Mended Drum. Thankfully, washed first. Mr. Dibbler has somehow procured many other Ankh-Morpork-related items and has placed them for sale on Mr. Briggs' Web site, http://www.cmotdibbler.com/cmot.html. Buy a piece of the city (metaphorically) today! - Erik(a) Kneesmiter Quote: iconographer still wantedin continuing news, an iconographer with his or her own equipment is still wanted by this publication. Quote: Updoming eventsFor those of you lucky enough to live in the UK, Pterry is going on a signing tour this week. as always, pocky would love to have something signed by Pratchett. here are the details, as taken from the l-space website: Wednesday 11th May
1230
Borders Books Music
Churchill Square
Brighton
East Sussex
BN1 2TB
Store tel: 01273 731122
1700
Ottakar's Bookshop
71 High Street
Guildford
Surrey
GU1 3DY
Tel: 01483 536366
Thursday 12th May
1700
Red Lion Bookshop
125, High Street
Colchester
Essex
CO1 1SZ
Store tel: 01206 578584
Friday 13th May
1230
Ottakar's Bookshop
11-17 Castle Street
Norwich
Norfolk NR2 1PB
Tel: 01603 767292
1830
Blackwell's
20 Trinity Street
Cambridge
CB2 1TY
Store tel: 01223 568521
Saturday 14th May
1200
Ottakar's
1, The Forum,
Stevenage,
Hertfordshire.
SG1 1ES
Tel: 01438 355266
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
