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 Posted: Tue Oct 17, 2006 9:07 pm
ok help!! how can i tell my mother i'm not catholic? i mean...i've tried to suggest it to her like in a thousand was a billion times and everytime its the same...she starts crying and saying things like "i'll sell my soul for you bla bla bla.... and that REALLY pisses me off!!! i mean...shes my mother and i had always tried to do anythgn she wanted and i've tried to be whi she wants me to be...but i'm getting tired of it...
does anybody has an idea of how i can explain this to her? cause i'm really desperate...
(((sorry for the grammar i wrote everything inlike 3 seconds))))
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Posted: Wed Oct 18, 2006 2:16 am
Why don't you try writing out what you believe... without putting what religion it is...a list would work, something like;
people can, through positive thought, affect the world for the better.
nature is a good positive force and should be respected.
All people have the power to create a better place for all of us.
exc.
Have her read the list and most likely she will agree with all of them ^_^
Tell her this is what you believe and that you wanted her to know that even though your not Christian that your still a good person.
^_^
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Posted: Wed Oct 18, 2006 6:29 am
i tried something like that, and your right she agreed, at leat with the half of it....but..once i told her i belive in that....o my...you should have seen how she reacted, she acted like it was the apocalipsis or something like that!!! that made felt reaallly bad..... i dont know what else to do....it's like ,...she doesnt want to let me do anything"!!! i cant do anythign i like..i like anime, and she does everything on her power to stop me seeing it or having anything to do with that... i love terrror movies, she does ot let me see them....AND THAT PISSES ME OFF!!!!! i mean...the only thing she is caussing is me hating her!!!...... wow..i feelll a little better now...
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Posted: Thu Oct 19, 2006 6:31 am
Well, you may never get her to agree with you! Don't hate her too bad, she feels that she is doing what's right (even though its not). Give her time and space. I understand that not being able to do what you want is hard, oh its hard! But hang in there and try to understand. She wants you not to do those things or believe what we believe because she doesn't understand and she is scared for you!
You believe what you believe and one day, when your out of the house and whatnot, you can do what you want. You'll only have one "mom."
...enough of my high horse! I said all that because I do have some experience with that! Hang in there....Maybe you should go with the flow for now....
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Posted: Sun Oct 22, 2006 4:49 pm
I understand it's hard to tell your family you're wiccan. My father's side of the family is hardcore catholic, and they won't even listen to the word "wicca" or "pagan." I think it's great that you want to tell your mother, but if she won't listen now I guarentee there will be a time when you can let her know and her be supportive of you even if she doesn't agree with it. Perhaps at this point in time it's not in the stars for her to know and understand, but that can't go on forever. And stephanie's right, she thinks she's trying to protect you and do the right thing, even though she's hurting you she thinks she's helping (though she obviously isn't.) One day if not in the near future she will understand that. You just have to be patient with her, and if it means not letting her know for just a while longer then mabye that's what you should consider? Don't trade your freedom for her knowlege. Who knows what she'll keep you from doing if she doesn't support you? I had a friend who's mother monitored her, forced her to go to church, took her books away, took away her candles and inscese, the works. She couldn't even watch the movie The Craft or the tv shows "Charmed" or "Buffy." It'd make you misurable if you got everything taken from you and couldn't do things, though you seem a little limited now it could always get worse. But if you feel that you really want her to know then go ahead and tell her, maybe it's eating at you or something? Or feel that she should know? I don't know. Just hang in there, do what you feel is right, and good luck!
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Posted: Sun Oct 22, 2006 6:07 pm
thnks a lot, ataire, stephieannejanine and shinys ofcourse.. 4laugh
i think the only thing i can do for now is take a deep breath and pretend everything is ok ( until i'm 18 and i can move out of my house).
a couple of months ago i felt like ...dunno something really strange, like i NEEDED to tell| my mother, but i'm kind of a coward and i didnt do it. ever since that i've been like, feeling things, or seeing things that in someway are telling me to tell my mother the truth, but i just cant! no matter how hard i try, everytime the subject comes out, my house becomes a battlefield, i'll like to know what are these "signs". well...i feel a little bit better now... 3nodding guess i'll have to continue hiding until i can find a decent job and i can move out from my house. well..thnks everybody!!!! you've helped me a lot!!
((once agian sorry for spelling grammar etc.))
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Posted: Mon Oct 23, 2006 2:44 am
Your welcome, I'm glad we could help ^_^ Hang in there, things will fall into place. ^_^
No worries about your spelling and gramar, we can read it, that's what's important. ^_^
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Posted: Mon Oct 23, 2006 9:30 am
i have an idea..maybe it's the most stupid and idiotic thing i'll ever do inmy life but anyay..i ned to tell her.
in december, i have to go to a little..em..how to say it..like town to do my social service, all my classmates are going also, i'll be out for a week, from 10-17 of december, my mother's birthday is the 17.
i want to make her a letter telling her everything, i'm reaaaally good saying things in letters(last year i made my father cry), but i feel guilty, because, if i do this, i feel like i'll ruin her birthday, it'll be like " o happy birthady mommy! by the way did you read the lletter?" do you think its a good idea to do this thingy? i need some help here.
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Posted: Mon Oct 23, 2006 12:57 pm
Well putting things in letters are always good for several reasons. You don't have any inturuptions, it's put down flat in paper, and any questions she may have you could answer afterwards. Picking the time is a bit tricky though, especially if it's on her birthday. I personally wouldn't advise it on that particular day, because since it's her birthday she may start feeling like you planned it to hurt her.(though obviously that's not what's happening, you just want her to understand but she may not understand that. What she may see on the note is not an explanation of her daughter's chosen way of life, but instead she may see the words "Hi mom. Happy birthday. I'm a witch." Which is not what you're trying to do. Maybe if you give it to her sooner or later than her birthday when she's not in an out of ordinary mood if you know what I'm saying? I've found out the best times to tell people about important things are on ordinary days when they're thinking normally, don't have anything pending on them, and aren't excited. That way they have the time to listen and ask questions, and less likely to see something opposite than what you're saying.
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Posted: Mon Oct 23, 2006 5:26 pm
I agree with Atarie, wait a little while. I know you feel as though you must tell her, but maybe now is not the right time. Don't go and ruin (in her mind she would feel that way) her birthday. You've waited and lived with it this long, a little more won't hurt....
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Posted: Fri Nov 24, 2006 11:54 am
I think that the whole letter thing is a good idea, but the birthday thing complicates it.. Is there any other field trip or vacation that you're going on besides that where you'll be away for at least a few days?
If you do decide to leave her a letter, make sure to reassure her that you still love her just as much and are still the same person, and that you really didn't mean to ruin her birthday, you just want her to love you for who you are.
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Posted: Fri Nov 24, 2006 3:00 pm
Im what you can say more intelligant then my parents both together, and i have a lot of Theoligiy under my belt. So when they asked why i picked the path beyond redemption i said this, although not in the exact words, i forgot them but this sums it all up and shuts and good catholic up or inrages them
"You believe in a god that commits mass murder on a uncountable level, your god encourges Incest, your god encourages sex between daughter and father,mother and son. Your god abandon your people countless times, Your god brakes promise. Your god allows us to suffer, Your god is based on the accounts of people thounsands of years ago when it matter not since there is no way of recording these events. Your god thinks he has free will over everyone when we are belived that we dont. Your religion thinks ever other religion is wrong, Your religion started many wars with countless people diying once again. And you ask me why i picked wiccan, a fate that streches before any major world religion, one that does not encourage fighting, one that brings peace and love and equality between man and women that both should be united into one. The religion that every other major world religion stole images,meanings,creed and laws from. I think i dont have to answer you on that one, tell me when you are flly prepare to embrace the light, and blessed be"
You could think what they were like after that, they did not talk to me for a week, not because they were angry but because they were thinking about there faith again. Two weeks later they converted to Wiccan, i know have a fully wiccan family biggrin
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Posted: Fri Nov 24, 2006 8:27 pm
o my...thanks to everybody!!! ataire, stephieannejanine, the sugar pixie, theobane.
seemm like i'm not going to that field trip so...seems like i have some more time to think about all this.
sweatdrop i'm not sure about what the hell i'm going to do about this but...seems that, if i'm going to do anything, it wont be this year, i'll have to wait for the next field trip... it's going to be next year in april i think..(i'm going to europe for 2 weeks) well...i'll think about it. the only thing that i can do for now is take a deep breath every time they mention anythin about religion and smile and nod...o well...thanks again to everybody!
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Posted: Sat Nov 25, 2006 2:06 am
No problem, That trip to Europe should be good, which depends on where you are going thought biggrin
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Posted: Sat Nov 25, 2006 5:12 pm
Well that made your decision for you xd Good luck in silence!! *hugs for encouragement*
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