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I was recently talking to someone about a person
who had very unkindly flame mailed me about being
bi. While I verbally kicked the guys a**, I was told
by the guy I was talking to that he used to flame
gays and stuff, until one day he realised he was bi.
However, he doesn't tell many people.
Understandable, with so many hate crimes going
around out there, but I got to thinking...
Maybe closet homosexuality is more dangerous
to the individual than being out in a place where
homosexuality is looked down upon.
Just the stress of it in the back of your mind can
be horrible. It was for me back when I was in the
closet. I was constantly afraid people would find out
and, since I lived in Gerogia, I was afraid I'd become
another Matthew Shaphard (God rest his soul).
There were time when I got so stressed out and
tired of it that, at times, I just wanted to end it.
It got even worse when word got out, but I still wanted
to be in the closet. A few times I was in the verge of
suicide.
Now that I am out, however, and I find that people
are more accepting of it, I am not stressed out by
it. When people ask me if I am bi/gay, I don't have
to defend myself.
However, coming out isn't an option for some, and
some also don't have the self control to keep from
comitting suicide if they were in such a position.
Does anyone else agree with me that being in the closet could be more dangerous to non-heterosexuals than being out?
neutral

Generally (saying this because there are always exceptions), hiding anything -- at least something central to your being; sexuality, religion, strong opinions, etc. -- is unhealthy in a way. You become to focused on having to hide that particular thing that you become less focused on other things. In my experience, being paranoid about hiding it can also lead to sort of twisting what you see or hear. I remember at a part once, one of the girls said something along the lines of "I think we have someone missing here" but I heard it as "I think we have a lesbian here." Made me a bit paranoid, until I went over what she said and realized she didn't actually say that. And it's all silly that I would react like that, because I was openly a pro-gay rights advocate. But that's what the closet will do to you.

And, of course, there are pople who because so paranoid about being forced out of the closet that they become extremely homophobic as a defense. In fact, homophobes, in general, have an increased chance of of actually being gay and hiding their own sexuality for this same reason. And this is not only bad for any GLBT folks around them, but also harms their own self-esteem.

It can be dangerous to be out in a very conservative place. But at least if you're out, you can face the accusations, homophobia, etc. head-on.

(Of course, this is ignoring extreme circumstances where someone will be abused or worse by family or even government if they come out.)

Personally, I'd tend to agree. The stress of keeping my attractions to myself just became too great, and I almost snapped under the weight. When I came out, I felt as if the weight of the world was off my shoulders. I would rather have had people come at me than deal with the internal stress. Because mobs of people can be fought with fist and sword, and those are my weapons. Internal daemons are much more difficult to battle.

But, yeah, my mom disowned me when she found out. gonk I'm not sure whether my dad and stepmother know, but I'm not keen to find out anymore. I just don't care.

3. We were all very drunk, and I happened to have access to a wakizashi. I usually just fight.

And spelling "daemon" as such is just habit. I've been doing that for years.

None. I don't get caught. I've never been arrested for the fights I've been in.

It could have been minor.
If he was drunk, he may not be as accurate.

Anyhoo, in some places being gay is still a crime (I think, is that right?) so it may be best to hide it if that's the case..

Agreed >_>
::isremindedofBrokebackMountain::
Poor old man Dx gah...make me cringe

I remember being extremely frightened when I first came out, but the emotional stress and the paranoia that someone might "find me out" was nearly driving me insane. While I can understand why people might decide to stay in the closet I ultimately think it causes more harm than good.

I remember watching Brokeback Mountain and taking away from it the message that homophobia hurts everyone - not just those in the closet. I can't see how in the long run denying a part of yourself that you had no say in could do anything positive.

Or as I like to say when I'm told I "chose" to be gay: "The only 'choice' I ever made was not to hide who I really was."