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 Posted: Wed Dec 06, 2006 4:47 pm
This issue has really irritated me recently. What bothers me is that many people do not know what love is. People go through life with a erroneous notion of what love is. This is what I contribute to many relationships that go wrong. Many of you may get mad at me and say I am completely wrong. I've gotten it with my mom and my sister. I have never been in a relationship with a women before. I, however, understand how a relationship is suppose to work. This is why I have not been in a relationship. I am waiting for the right person where my feelings for them are what they are "technically" suppose to be.
Here is the question of the age: What is love? It is difficult to put it to words. I would have to say that love is being able to fall asleep looking at the one you love, being able to snuggle next to the one you love without it turning into something sexual, loving the good and the bad things about them, sometimes get mad at them but never stop loving them, and I could go on. This affection between two people always attributes to something sexual. You can't just hold hands, put each others head on one another, and watch a movie. People have to kiss or air hump. The real issue is my sisters relationships with her boyfriends. She goes on about how she loves them. All they do is either make-out or air hump. She says that she understands what real love is. My mom even agrees that my sister knows what real love is. She can "love" someone and go onto someone else 4 weeks later. Love doesn't work like that. When you love someone you love the good and bad things about them. I have seen a lot of adolescent relationships. They always point out the bad things and break up with them; i.e. I don't see you going anywhere with your life; we need to break-up.
How do you all feel on this issue?
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Posted: Wed Dec 06, 2006 6:05 pm
Just responding to this: Quote: I, however, understand how a relationship is suppose to work. You have to remember, though, that people are different. They have different preferences, systems, etc. So what you believe to be how a relationship is "supposed" to work may not work for one couple, because of their difference in preferencesand systems. Example? I was watching an episode of Wife Swap the other night and it introduced a certian couple. The family was composed of the man, woman, two-three kids, and a male dog. In their system the hierarchy worked something like this: Dad -> eldest son (~12) -> youngest son (infant) -> dog -> Mom. The mom was the typical 50's housewife minus teh dresses and pregnant belly (at the time). She spent 100% of her waking hours cooking, cleaning, and generally serving the men in her household and dad's buddies when they came over, which was every day. She was "ranked" below the family dog. And you know what? She was happy. For her, it was the ideal relationship and it worked out for everyone. Personally? I was disgusted, along with my parents who were also watching. So you see, the ideal relationship for one person may not be ideal for someone else. I don't really think you can judge whether or not someone knows what love is simply because of her actions (and most of them are hopefully done when you aren't around). She knows how she feels, you don't. I probably sound like I'm attacking, you, that isn't my intention. I have to ask, though: What makes you think you truly know what love and relationships are all about?
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Posted: Wed Dec 06, 2006 11:44 pm
Love is very different level by level. The love you feel for a girlfriend/boyfriend that you could see yourself with is definitely different than love for your parents.
...I hope.
It's also hard as ******** to describe. I typically use battery analogies. ^_^ Different sizes for different loves. And I once had a car battery that backfired... magically. ******** battery.
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Posted: Thu Dec 07, 2006 8:37 am
Toga! Toga! Just responding to this: Quote: I, however, understand how a relationship is suppose to work. You have to remember, though, that people are different. They have different preferences, systems, etc. So what you believe to be how a relationship is "supposed" to work may not work for one couple, because of their difference in preferencesand systems. Example? I was watching an episode of Wife Swap the other night and it introduced a certian couple. The family was composed of the man, woman, two-three kids, and a male dog. In their system the hierarchy worked something like this: Dad -> eldest son (~12) -> youngest son (infant) -> dog -> Mom. The mom was the typical 50's housewife minus teh dresses and pregnant belly (at the time). She spent 100% of her waking hours cooking, cleaning, and generally serving the men in her household and dad's buddies when they came over, which was every day. She was "ranked" below the family dog. And you know what? She was happy. For her, it was the ideal relationship and it worked out for everyone. Personally? I was disgusted, along with my parents who were also watching. So you see, the ideal relationship for one person may not be ideal for someone else. I don't really think you can judge whether or not someone knows what love is simply because of her actions (and most of them are hopefully done when you aren't around). She knows how she feels, you don't. I probably sound like I'm attacking, you, that isn't my intention. I have to ask, though: What makes you think you truly know what love and relationships are all about? I don't know exactly if she is content or she just has a slave mindset. This is common with sweatshop workers. They change their whole way of thinking because everyone around them tells them to act a certain way, to like certain things. After a while, they become set with this slave attitude. There is a better word for it. I can not think of it. They used it during a sweatshop trial episode of Shark gonk
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Posted: Fri Dec 08, 2006 6:52 am
I think maybe you're speaking from a very limited perspective here. It sounds like your sisters are young and may be confusing love with lust. It can be pretty easy.
I also agree with Toga! Toga!, people are different. Some people are very physical and express their love for someone through sex. Other people aren't so physical and tend to express it with words or other non-sexual actions. The great thing about love and relationships is that there are not many wrong ways to go about them (I'm trying to account for abusive relationships.)
I think love is impossible to describe in a way that does any justice to how it actually feels. When you're in love, you know it. I don't think there's an age limit on it. However, I believe that you're less likely to confuse lust with love as you get older and meet more, different people.
So yes, a lot of people get confused on what love is. But once you actually fall in love, you know it and you realize it for what it truly is.
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Posted: Fri Dec 08, 2006 11:37 pm
I'm a man of two perspectives at the moment.
My longest-lasting and most factually and logically solid opinion is that "love", like any other emotion, is a chemical reaction releasing endorphins into the brain to generate positive or negative stimuli as a crude attempt to prod the human in question toward or away from an action - in this case, reproduction. Simple, high in evidence, and quite reasonable when you think about it - we haven't had that long (in evolution terms) to grow completely out of instinctual action just yet.
However, despite the fact that the above is a physical reaction and thus should be fully controllable with enough mental restraint, I find myself susceptible to such emotions in contact with one person in particular, thus signifying that either A) it is not fully chemical in nature and thus cannot be fully overpowered or B) I have the focus to make you cry by looking at you hard enough but lack the willpower to fully counter the endorphin response. I choose the former because I do so despise limitations, realistic or not.
As for the behavioral variances, they shift based upon the individuals in question (personality, physical structure, mental structure, emotional levels and a variety of other variables come into play), the effects of interaction between said figures and the effects of outside stimuli. Thus, the physical, mental and emotional expressions of "love" are varied based on the individual.
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Posted: Sat Dec 09, 2006 6:48 am
Emperor Fluffzorz I'm a man of two perspectives at the moment. My longest-lasting and most factually and logically solid opinion is that "love", like any other emotion, is a chemical reaction releasing endorphins into the brain to generate positive or negative stimuli as a crude attempt to prod the human in question toward or away from an action - in this case, reproduction. Simple, high in evidence, and quite reasonable when you think about it - we haven't had that long (in evolution terms) to grow completely out of instinctual action just yet. However, despite the fact that the above is a physical reaction and thus should be fully controllable with enough mental restraint, I find myself susceptible to such emotions in contact with one person in particular, thus signifying that either A) it is not fully chemical in nature and thus cannot be fully overpowered or B) I have the focus to make you cry by looking at you hard enough but lack the willpower to fully counter the endorphin response. I choose the former because I do so despise limitations, realistic or not. As for the behavioral variances, they shift based upon the individuals in question (personality, physical structure, mental structure, emotional levels and a variety of other variables come into play), the effects of interaction between said figures and the effects of outside stimuli. Thus, the physical, mental and emotional expressions of "love" are varied based on the individual. I completely agree. I have an article on that topic if you want to read it. However, I do not agree with your 2nd paragraph. If you do not choose to have a homo sapien type relationship, your love with manifest itself onto something else; i.e. your pet, a hobby, possibly your parents, etc.
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Posted: Sat Dec 09, 2006 10:56 am
My Conscience Emperor Fluffzorz I'm a man of two perspectives at the moment. My longest-lasting and most factually and logically solid opinion is that "love", like any other emotion, is a chemical reaction releasing endorphins into the brain to generate positive or negative stimuli as a crude attempt to prod the human in question toward or away from an action - in this case, reproduction. Simple, high in evidence, and quite reasonable when you think about it - we haven't had that long (in evolution terms) to grow completely out of instinctual action just yet. However, despite the fact that the above is a physical reaction and thus should be fully controllable with enough mental restraint, I find myself susceptible to such emotions in contact with one person in particular, thus signifying that either A) it is not fully chemical in nature and thus cannot be fully overpowered or B) I have the focus to make you cry by looking at you hard enough but lack the willpower to fully counter the endorphin response. I choose the former because I do so despise limitations, realistic or not. As for the behavioral variances, they shift based upon the individuals in question (personality, physical structure, mental structure, emotional levels and a variety of other variables come into play), the effects of interaction between said figures and the effects of outside stimuli. Thus, the physical, mental and emotional expressions of "love" are varied based on the individual. I completely agree. I have an article on that topic if you want to read it. However, I do not agree with your 2nd paragraph. If you do not choose to have a homo sapien type relationship, your love with manifest itself onto something else; i.e. your pet, a hobby, possibly your parents, etc. Hmmm... interesting. I'm sure you have the firepower to back up this rather bold statement, just as I have studies to prove the endorphin argument.
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Posted: Sat Dec 09, 2006 9:50 pm
Emperor Fluffzorz My Conscience Emperor Fluffzorz I'm a man of two perspectives at the moment. My longest-lasting and most factually and logically solid opinion is that "love", like any other emotion, is a chemical reaction releasing endorphins into the brain to generate positive or negative stimuli as a crude attempt to prod the human in question toward or away from an action - in this case, reproduction. Simple, high in evidence, and quite reasonable when you think about it - we haven't had that long (in evolution terms) to grow completely out of instinctual action just yet. However, despite the fact that the above is a physical reaction and thus should be fully controllable with enough mental restraint, I find myself susceptible to such emotions in contact with one person in particular, thus signifying that either A) it is not fully chemical in nature and thus cannot be fully overpowered or B) I have the focus to make you cry by looking at you hard enough but lack the willpower to fully counter the endorphin response. I choose the former because I do so despise limitations, realistic or not. As for the behavioral variances, they shift based upon the individuals in question (personality, physical structure, mental structure, emotional levels and a variety of other variables come into play), the effects of interaction between said figures and the effects of outside stimuli. Thus, the physical, mental and emotional expressions of "love" are varied based on the individual. I completely agree. I have an article on that topic if you want to read it. However, I do not agree with your 2nd paragraph. If you do not choose to have a homo sapien type relationship, your love with manifest itself onto something else; i.e. your pet, a hobby, possibly your parents, etc. Hmmm... interesting. I'm sure you have the firepower to back up this rather bold statement, just as I have studies to prove the endorphin argument. I probably have the same articles as you. However, I do not currently have evidence to support my second claim.
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Posted: Sun Dec 10, 2006 6:08 pm
My Conscience Emperor Fluffzorz My Conscience Emperor Fluffzorz I'm a man of two perspectives at the moment. My longest-lasting and most factually and logically solid opinion is that "love", like any other emotion, is a chemical reaction releasing endorphins into the brain to generate positive or negative stimuli as a crude attempt to prod the human in question toward or away from an action - in this case, reproduction. Simple, high in evidence, and quite reasonable when you think about it - we haven't had that long (in evolution terms) to grow completely out of instinctual action just yet. However, despite the fact that the above is a physical reaction and thus should be fully controllable with enough mental restraint, I find myself susceptible to such emotions in contact with one person in particular, thus signifying that either A) it is not fully chemical in nature and thus cannot be fully overpowered or B) I have the focus to make you cry by looking at you hard enough but lack the willpower to fully counter the endorphin response. I choose the former because I do so despise limitations, realistic or not. As for the behavioral variances, they shift based upon the individuals in question (personality, physical structure, mental structure, emotional levels and a variety of other variables come into play), the effects of interaction between said figures and the effects of outside stimuli. Thus, the physical, mental and emotional expressions of "love" are varied based on the individual. I completely agree. I have an article on that topic if you want to read it. However, I do not agree with your 2nd paragraph. If you do not choose to have a homo sapien type relationship, your love with manifest itself onto something else; i.e. your pet, a hobby, possibly your parents, etc. Hmmm... interesting. I'm sure you have the firepower to back up this rather bold statement, just as I have studies to prove the endorphin argument. I probably have the same articles as you. However, I do not currently have evidence to support my second claim. That being the one I was referring to.
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Posted: Thu Dec 14, 2006 8:04 pm
Okay, love. I have never actually been in love, not romantically anyway. But I'm pretty sure I have a good idea of what love is.
I have a friend and his name is Thomas. We've been friends for about five years now, and our relationship just really pushes me to believe in unconditional love. I mean, we have just done so much crap to one another but we're still really, really tight. I mean, he hacked into and read my private diary and then denied the whole thing, I spoke badly about him to a girl he liked, we're just vicious sometimes. A few years ago for Christmas he gave me a card game called Spite and Malice because he "felt it described our relationship".
But there's another level to our friendship. He and I are comfortable with one another. Maybe more comfortable than we should be. Sometimes we'll just sit in the back seat of one of our cars and we'll just chill. We'll hold hands, kiss on the cheeks, cuddle, lie on top of one another. It's very intimate and we share very intimate things with one another. I really feel like I can tell him anything- and I usually do. He always tells me "You should be able to read my mind by now."
I kinda like to call us platonic soulmates- Will and Grace without the gay thing. We're really close. We can treat one another terribly. But we always forgive one another. Our love is unconditional, or as close to unconditional as humans can achieve anyway.
So I think what defines love is that it's unconditional. It forgives and it forgets. "Love is patient love is kind." That's one of my favorite Bible versus because I think it's true, no matter what religion you are.
So there's my thoughts.
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Posted: Sun Dec 17, 2006 7:45 am
Well, it seems what we are dealing with in your example is a person confusing love and lust. It's an easy thing to do, they are highly similar. However, lust is the self-serving sexual side of affection. Love is more the self-sacrificing attachment. They are more similar opposites than anything else. One cannot exist in the presence of the other. Love is a powerful emotion, love is the feeling of happiness gained from the simple existence of someone and the compulsion to help and protect that person from harm. So, My Conscience, I would say you are right in your assumption of the meaning of love and your disection of the relationship of your sister. You hit the nail on the head.
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[gossamer]!smile. Vice Captain
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Posted: Tue Dec 19, 2006 4:22 am
From my expirience,
love is a very weird thing.
More often than not you can't explain it.
But you can feel a type of attraction that goes well beyond the physical, and makes things a whole lot better. I'm a cynical, bitter a*****e, but when I talk to or am near Melissa, I feel happier than I've been in a while.
Either way, love in a basic sense, is willing to make yourself very uncomfortable just to make the other person's life even a little better.
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Posted: Tue Dec 19, 2006 7:00 pm
[gossamer]!smile. From my expirience,
love is a very weird thing.
More often than not you can't explain it.
But you can feel a type of attraction that goes well beyond the physical, and makes things a whole lot better. I'm a cynical, bitter a*****e, but when I talk to or am near Melissa, I feel happier than I've been in a while.
Either way, love in a basic sense, is willing to make yourself very uncomfortable just to make the other person's life even a little better. Heh... you aren't alone, my friend, in that respect. I'm typically a cynical, sarcastic a** who will not hesitate to crush people's spirits if I'm in the mood for it simply out of spite ands dislike of people in general. However, there are certain people around whom I naturally find myself somewhat... nicer, shall we say, around. Paige being the most obvious example. Actually, the only example. Well, the only one to any obvious degree.
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Posted: Thu Dec 21, 2006 7:48 pm
Emperor Fluffzorz [gossamer]!smile. From my expirience,
love is a very weird thing.
More often than not you can't explain it.
But you can feel a type of attraction that goes well beyond the physical, and makes things a whole lot better. I'm a cynical, bitter a*****e, but when I talk to or am near Melissa, I feel happier than I've been in a while.
Either way, love in a basic sense, is willing to make yourself very uncomfortable just to make the other person's life even a little better. Heh... you aren't alone, my friend, in that respect. I'm typically a cynical, sarcastic a** who will not hesitate to crush people's spirits if I'm in the mood for it simply out of spite ands dislike of people in general. However, there are certain people around whom I naturally find myself somewhat... nicer, shall we say, around. Paige being the most obvious example. Actually, the only example. Well, the only one to any obvious degree. Heh. You gentlemen are lucky. The only few people who calm me down and make me nicer are nowhere near me. Quite literally, the closest one is a little over 350 miles away. Now, about love. Love is a biological reaction. How we interpret it is merely subjective, and each person will react differently. For instance, while someone might view love as something beautiful, something pure, I personally view it as God's great joke, something tailor-made to punish me. And I hate it. Not just a dislike, not even the extreme rage I save for my past, and the anger which drives my core. Hatred. I hate love. I hate it for what it did to my life. But that is a story for another time, and another place. Perhaps if Gaia hasn't self-destructed in a few years, I'll tell the story.
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![[gossamer]!smile.'s avatar](https://a1cdn.gaiaonline.com/dress-up/avatar/ava/ba/4d/b31ff43374dba_flip.png?t=1317586731_6.00_00)
