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Sachi_x
Captain

PostPosted: Mon Dec 11, 2006 4:01 pm


His arms are like a fortress
Wrapped around her soul
His smile is like a beacon
And makes her feel so whole
What a pretty love they say
So pure, so sweet, so true
His heart is made of kindness
Her spirit brings him through
I’ve seen them walk together
So separate from us
Like living in a happy dream
Without any of our fuss

Yes, I had seen them dreaming
And wished I had it too
But dreams are just such fragile things
I watched as their pain grew
He grew ill, and her heart broke
But yet “they” understood
That prince faded from her grasp
As “they” all knew he would
But in my heart I wondered
Why do dreams die fast?
One day, two people are in love
The next, that’s all the past?

But of course now we understand
I am one of “them” now
But although innocence is lost
I still feel hope somehow

-----

For some reason, I've been writing a lot of poems lately... sweatdrop
PostPosted: Wed Dec 13, 2006 7:42 pm


I like it. It shows alot of how life goes, especially with what that sounds like 'young love'.
It seems so real, how it describes what it feels like within the two that you're talking about at first. It's interesting.
But in the first few lines, with the paragraph looking thing, it seems like you're missing a paragraph when you say 'so seperate from us'.
I don't know alot about poetry though, so maybe it just feels like it is. Sounds like it.

Quatres-demon


Sachi_x
Captain

PostPosted: Thu Dec 14, 2006 5:45 pm


Hmm, I kinda get whatcha mean. Thanks for the tip smile Anything is appreciated; I know hardly a thing about poetry myself. And thank you smile
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Poetry/Song lyrics

 
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