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 Posted: Thu Feb 01, 2007 6:55 pm
Jane Doe
Grandma and grandpa sail away
On a ship with golden bright sails
Into death they go
I never even said hello
While daddy sits with many ales
To tell many a forgotten tale
Form the locked volt of our imagination
While mommy sits with brother too
He has fits and cries
But never lies
To our sweet mothers face
My sister proud and tall
Against the night she did fall
The cliff she hung upon
And down she fell
Not to hell but
Her spirit rose and into heavens gate it did go
And then is me
Plain as plain could be
My pencil taps as I look upon my family
They’re filled with glee or jealousy
Different but yet so the same
I was never one of them
I bend my head
And pray for the dead
To sail away on golden wings and leave the world to me
Because I’m plain as plain could be
There is nothing meant for me
I’m the girl you wouldn’t know
In my reality
I’m Jane Doe
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Posted: Fri Feb 02, 2007 6:08 am
Wow, that is really nice. smile
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hardkoreUSMC Vice Captain
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Posted: Fri Feb 02, 2007 4:16 pm
Again, absolutely brilliant! I loved it! Especially the last two lines! I'm gonna have to read it again when my mind isn't so stressed... XD At the moment, I'm having some trouble comprehending stuff... Anyway, can't wait to see more from ya!!
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Posted: Sat Feb 03, 2007 3:57 am
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Posted: Sat Feb 03, 2007 12:02 pm
thanks all you nice peoples!!!!! really making me feel good!! heart
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Posted: Sat Feb 03, 2007 2:14 pm
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Posted: Fri Feb 16, 2007 9:09 pm
Great rhyme scheme, very nicely put. I think that you could have separated a few of the lines into multiple ones to avoid a bit of confusion. But other then that, this is a solid poem, I like it, very well done.
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