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 Posted: Sat Mar 24, 2007 12:46 am
Hey everyone here's a poem I wrote late one night and I'm wanting an opinion on it...Thanks Would Anyone...
If I left
Would anyone notice?
If I disappeard
Would anyone care?
If I died
Would anyone cry?
If I bled
Would anyone help?
If I fall
Would anyone pause?
If my heart breaks
Would anyone give me a shoulder?
If I was thirsty
would anyone give me water?
If I was hungry
Would anyone offer me food?
If I was cold
Would anyone warm me?
If I was in danger
Would anyone warn me?
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Posted: Sat Mar 24, 2007 5:52 pm
It sounds so sad, but it's really good. ^_^ I think you did a wonderful job on it. I'm not good at critiquing things. sweatdrop
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Posted: Sat Mar 24, 2007 6:01 pm
I'm sure a lot of people ask these questions at one point in their lifetime.
Thing is, I ask them almost everyday and I feel alienated upon doing so.
sweatdrop
Guess it makes people look down upon me when they usually view me as this hyper-active bundle of energy.
Sometimes it's hard to smile....
....
....
....
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Posted: Sat Mar 24, 2007 8:15 pm
crying That's sooo sad...*hugs both Gaz and Onyx* I am the bubbly person...most the time.
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Posted: Mon May 07, 2007 2:53 pm
Your poem is very beautiful. heart not to mension that's how i'm feelin at the moment.
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Posted: Tue Jun 12, 2007 5:48 pm
I like it, but there feels like it's missing something to me. Kind of like it is missing that little bit of personal flare, but that's my thought. It is a nice poem though.
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Lunar Mirage Vice Captain
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Posted: Fri Jun 15, 2007 12:50 am
*snugs Onyx* It's good...it's sad, but it's also our innermost fears revealed...and all of us have those questions even if we won't readily admit it aloud. sweatdrop heart
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Posted: Mon Sep 10, 2007 12:07 am
I actually thought it was pretty good. Totally felling you on this one!
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