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 Posted: Wed Mar 28, 2007 3:32 am
Sacrifice
The cherry tree in the garden,
Blossoming pink and white,
Out of my window I see it:
A truly beautiful sight.
The breeze stirs its branches,
Moves them to and fro.
The seagulls that fly are lucky
To see it down below.
A harsher wind starts blowing,
Petals rise like a cloud.
A wave of foamy satin
Gracefully drifts to the ground.
By far the tree's prettiest moment
But its most tragic moment too.
For to show its beauty,
Its beauty it must lose.
That's always the way with nature,
Always the way with art:
Its the most beautiful moment
Most tragically breaks your heart.
by Kaymera
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Posted: Sun Apr 01, 2007 8:31 am
Oh, wow. That's really beautiful. I'm not much of a poetry expert (I hardly know anything..), but that was really good ^^ I absolutely love the concept of it as well, and I know we can all relate.
I think the last two lines on the last stanza are a little... off? "It's the most beautiful moment most tragically breaks your heart". Just get rid of the "it's" and I think it'll be fine (but I don't know if it'll mess up the rhythm... Gah, I should stop talking...).
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Posted: Wed Jun 20, 2007 9:43 am
Now I don't have the slightest clue what makes a good poem, but this one was enjoyable to read. Good job.
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