Welcome to Gaia! ::

i am struggling with many things right now.
for starters
my mom had add, my brother has adhd, my sister prolly had adhd.
i don't, but i was blessed with my mother's short attention span.
so, during prayer, my mind wanders.
during worship, my mind wanders.
to be honest, i barely even know what you are supposed to bethinking about when worshipping
and how do you stay in focus?

next thing: I AM A CHRISTIAN BISEXUAL.
am i going to heaven?
or am i going to hell?

next thing:
i am sitting here reading the Bible, and i have realized something
all i see of GOD is that he's quick to anger. and when he does, you better watch out. thus, i don't exactly like God.
but i read the bible, and i see all the acts of jesus, and i seem to prefer Jesus to god... is that a bad thing?

next thing: i think i have demons in my room.
i did once before.
i know for a fact.
the demon told me, he was in my room.
which explained the breathing under my bed, rustling in my closet,a nd the twisting at my doorknob at 3 in the morning.
i got rid of them ith anoiting oil [[sp?]]
but one day, i had my oil sitting on the stand besid my bed. next morning, i woke up, and the bottle that was once full, was now completely empty, except for a tiny bit at the bottom. same, exact place.....

next:
annd i'm a slave to lust.
to masturbation.
to porn.
and for some reason, i don't want to stop
but i do.
i want to break off from this chain that bounds me
but i don't.
i need prayer.
i'm trying.
i really am
but it's so hard.


help?
advice?
prayer?

I don't know what other people here believe, but I believe that God, and Jesus are one. Yes God gets angry, but he is also VERY mercyful. You shouldn't feel like its a chore to pray. i understand what it is to have a wandering mind during prayer, sometimes it helps if you (it helps me) write things down. You could make a list or it could be very elaborate and detailed. When you worship, well when i worship i just thank God, you do exactly what it says "worship" - u praise the Lord, give him thanks, let him know u love him - appreciate him. Jesus died for us - he didnt have to - but he loved us enough to give his life for everyone - how great is that.!

Remember that God is full of mercy and grace, and weather your going to hell or not is not something anyone here can tell you for sure, that is God's judgement. Lusting or haveing feelings for the same sex is a sin and if you give into that sin and temptation -- well it's a bad thing.

Demons (if you really have an encounter with them) are not rare - all u can do is rebuke them in the name of Jesus and pray - you have to have a great love and hope in God, belive in Him and he will protect you and give you strenght.

If you know you have an addiction to lust then you pray. Don't give in to it. You need to surround yourself with Christian friends and do christian things - it helps to move you away from the temptation. Have a heart to heart with God.

i will pray for you, that's the great thing about haveing brothers and sisters in Christ. God is the only one who can really help you. Talk to him.

***DO NOT SKIP THIS POST NO MATTER WHAT THOUGHT GOES THROUGH YOUR MIND!!!***

*DO NOT STOP READING IT!!*

First off, what should be delt with most importantly is your issue of the demons, (even if you think the annointing with oil will work, it won't).

I'm on Gaia Online, and since nobody knows who I am I can tell you, I see feel and hear demons myself. I have Since my childhood, they are real. however, what you are dealing with is NOT a spiritual gift (or at least i don't believe so), and YOU ARE NOT CRAZY. Second, get the book "The Bondage Breaker" by Neil Anderson. this is very important okay? even if you feel that something is stopping you from reading this letter. Don't Stop, Tell it to "leave in the name of Jesus Christ" and continue. Do whatever you can to read that book, and speak to your youth pastor or someone to help you through this book. THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT. You may have a curse on your house, yourself or both. **""But You Can Be FREE!!""** The Bondage Breaker will help you through what you are going through, AND it will lead you through the steps to freedom through Christ. *Print This Page Out If Necessary!!!* Understand you are not alone. God is there. You may Have some bad connections to the dark side of the spiritual realm that you Do Not Want. Understand that you are a Child of God (John 1:12). God is a Just God but He is also a Loving God, He has many attributes. depending on where you read in the bible will tell you different Traits of His. Do not Dislike God. that is one of the lies* that "satan*" wants you to believe!*

To understand worship, what you hould be focusing on God! WORSHIP IS NOT JUST AN ACT OF OBEDIENCE! IT'S A DELIGHT! IT SHOULD BE YOUR PLEASURE! Think of the most beautiful sight you have ever seen in your life, the sunset the mountains or anything, when you looked at that I dought you thought, "Wow, arnt i great?" No! i bet you thought just as everyone else does, "You were so caught up in the glory of it all that you probably completely forgot yourself!"* And Yet that i but a shadow of what God is like. His Is Magnificient! Majestic, all powerful, And So GLORIOUS! it i unbelievable! You know that forgeting yourself when looking at the sunset or mountains or whatever? that's what you were made for... but not for that! For God!! When You Make God Your Delight! and You EAT Of HIM! you become Truly SATISFIED! God is only Glorified most, when we are most satisfied in Him! If you were going to be killed for your faith in Christ Jesus, And You had to be Glorifying God Some how during that time, how would you do it? Unless! he was your delight! And you know that to live is Christ! But to Die Is GAIN! (Read Philipians 1:18-23). The One and Only thing that WILL make you happiest, And I KNOW Because I Know you are a Christian from what you wrote, Is GOD BEING MOST GLORIFIED! That's how He Made You! Your Pursuit For For Happiness, And God's Pursuit for His Own Glory ARE NOT AT ODDS! They ARE THE SAME GOAL! (Isaiah: 55:1-10, We Are commanded to Drink Of God! Not the dirt of the earth!)

Also, Know That You ARE A "SAINT!!" Not a sinner saved by Grace! but a saint! a saint that sometimes sins! because you are made completely clean from the blood of Jesus Christ. (Read Ephesians 1:1). If you keep looking at yourself as a sinner saved by grace it will just pull you down further! Listen To The Truth! The only Truth is Found In God's Holy Word! (Only!) also, realized that those other temptations that you may have must be drowned out in the satisfaction you find in Christ JESUS! that is the only way to truly Overcome It! Delight In Worship!! DELIGHT!! Enjoy making nothing of yourself and Falling into the arms of Christ! Let Him Carry you! and Pray on the full armor of God Every Day!

The Warrior's Prayer
(Ephesians 6:10)
You must pray on the armor of God to Be Prepared against the Wiles of the devil!
PLEASE PM ME for More On This!!! I really want you to PM ME AN UPDATE ON THE DEMONS ISSUE! I'm going to add you to my friends if that is okay alright?
I'm going to pray over this post now however okay?
Lord I pray that You Will Protect This Post From The Sight Of this post and i pray for the sake of Christ you will keep this post away from the sight of the evil ones, may they only see the blood of your Precious Son Jesus Christ. Protect this document, and protect this young person I pray Lord for your names sake, For Your Glory. I pray Lord That In your will Lord that this Student will be strengthened in you everyday, please give her the power to overcome the devil through You Christ Jesus, and help her Renounce any such evil things that may have came up in her life Lord and become a part of her daily life without realizing it, so that she may live for you Lord and your Glory! Be Glorified through this wonderful Brother or Sister of mine and live through them in their daily life. I know Lord for as long as this sibling of mine Lord, strives toward You, You will bless them. We Love You Lord And I Pray All Of This In Your Precious Son Jesus Christs Beautiful Name Lord, Amen.

I will be praying for you every day! And Please everyone else that reads this thread also do the same, many do not realize the severity and power of the devil over us if we let him have a grasp on us somewhere in our life. Please Pray. Please.

Your Brother in Christ,
Matthew