About villanelles.
Here's the Wikipedia page for them, as it's got much more data about villanelles than I do in my head. In fact, I've learned some stuff about them I didn't know before, regarding meter. So yay!
lol
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Villanelle Even though there's not supposed to be a set meter, I think you'd benefit if, at first, you did try to write a couple in iambic pentameter.
There's Dylan Thomas' well-known poem, which he wrote for his ailing father.
Do Not Go Gentle Into That Good Night
Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rave at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
Though wise men at their end know dark is right,
Because their words had forked no lightning they
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright
Their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight,
And learn, too late, they grieved it on its way,
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sight
Blind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
And you, my father, there on the sad height,
Curse, bless, me now with your fierce tears, I pray.
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
---------------------------------------------------------------
Notice how, in Thomas' poem, the repeating lines wind up together at the end for the most powerful emotional punch within the poem. This aspect of the repeating lines is not to be overlooked or underestimated.
The poem can be likened to a boxing match, where the all the stanzas leading toward the end consist of jabs. They can be hard jabs, and should be accurate ones, and all those punches really do is set up the opponent for the knockout punch, which is what your repeating lines should culmintate in, like Thomas' do.
So.
Notice which lines are repeated, and where. Also, the rhyme scheme's pretty simple. Two rhymes for the entire poem. Choose them well. lol
Here's two villanelles I wrote. The first one I wrote was this one.
The Obsessive Singularity
I tip gentle hearts, leave the seeds alone.
Flamencan moves: I'm nervous, lost my grace;
it's only you round gentle curve of bone.
Brigades of light help settle on a tone;
we strip away pretensions face to face.
I tip gentle hearts, leave the seeds alone.
Limits have those lines of planned and zoned,
only home when dropped from living race.
It's only you round gentle curve of bone.
Our pinkies dance, while clasped hands liken stone,
music of the spheres a sturdy base.
I tip gentle hearts, leave the seeds alone.
See wounded thrush? 'Twas looking for a phone;
flew full on booth, a wing results: "Displaced!"
It's only you round gentle curve of bone.
Each daily pass, your lips neglect my own;
I'm routed like a ghost who leaves no trace.
I tip gentle hearts, leave the seeds alone.
It's only you round gentle curve of bone.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Notice how mine flits around too much, regarding relevance, and although
I can see what I mean by each stanza, it's probably not exactly clear to the reader. I should, and probably will, rework it some. While mine does obey the form, it's not a
strong version of one, in my opinion.
I do feel as if, at the very least, I was able to increase the power of the repeating lines.
Here's one I wrote last year.
Hankering After Grass Grown High
I'm sipping greed like gimlets done in dress
ignoring what the cleaners won't get out,
with nary flick nor trace of fractiousness.
Your bobbing heads convince me: bare noblesse.
These trifling days have settled in like gout!
I'm sipping greed like gimlets done in dress.
When next your face appears I must aggress
to finish off our battles with a rout,
with nary flick nor trace of fractiousness.
Inaction threatens nigh to bring distress
though hardly can a measured thought be out.
I'm sipping greed like gimlets done in dress.
The bustle spins the mind so I see less;
but still I hold aloft my rainbow trout,
with nary flick nor trace of fractiousness.
I see you there, your petty dreams a mess.
So should I stay, reclined, and set to shout?
I'm sipping greed like gimlets done in dress,
with nary flick nor trace of fractiousness.
--------------------------------------------------------------------
It is, admittedly, even more abstract than my previous one, however, there's more cohesiveness to it, at least.
Note the pattern of rhyme:
aba, aba, aba, aba, aba, abaa
Also, for the first couple poems, keep it in iambic pentameter, so that you kill a few birds with one stone, me being a bloodthirsty poet and what not, and the more birds you can slaughter, the better.
confused da-DA-da-DA-da-DA-da-DA-da-DA.......
Now, there's not going to be a crisis if you have an extra syllable or two, or fall short one or two, here and there, if the line says just what you want it to say. That's not too big a deal. However, if one line has three freakin' syllables, and the next has twelve...well...no. That won't work, at first anyway.
xd (Feels I may have to try that now, just to see.)
I'll write the same number of villanelles that you write, Conor.
We can collaborate on one, too, if you want to.
Here's how it breaks down for the
repeating lines. I'll use slashes to indicate nonrepeating lines.
1st
///
3rd
///
///
1st
///
///
3rd
///
///
1st
///
///
3rd
///
///
1st
3rd.
See?
So the first and third lines in the
first stanza will be your
closing two lines.
There should be enough data here for you to get to work, however, if you have any questions, let me know.
Feel free to post whatever progress you make, even if it's not a whole poem. Good luck.
Reply
