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 Posted: Sat Jun 23, 2007 12:36 pm
I finally did it, everyone.
I did what I said I would.
Nobody believed me--they said it was just a joke.
But I did it.
I finally chopped off my hair.
Not by myself, of course...it was a talented new stylist at this salon a few streets over.
So now I look completely different...masculine and feminine at the same time, which was precisely what I was going for.
My hair's really short and really messy-looking now. Not like Goggi's...more like a shorter version of that.
And it doesn't stick up very much.
I don't mind that it doesn't look like his...I like it better this way.
It's different, it's new, and it suits my personality.
I don't even have to style it...just a dab of that waxy cream stuff, and I ruffle my hair. That's it.
Now, I'm not so obsessed that I would change my hairstyle to look like Goggi's. Nuh-uh. I was just comparing it...I've always wanted something a little more boyish.
My mom, though....that's a different story.
She hates it. She thinks it makes me look TOO boyish. She said, and I quote:
"I do NOT want to deal with a gender-confused freak right now! I want you to be a good conservative daughter!! Look nice for the cameras, and that's all. HCC Presidents are supposed to have normal, conservative families...not some green-haired, boyish, dykish nightmare!"
Don't you just love her?
She labeled me "that crazy, gender-confused liberal".
I'm not confused...I just wanted to look a little more boyish, because that's my personality. I'm a girl, but I'm a boyish girl.
I'm different.
I'm happy with this new look. I can actually look at myself in the mirror and smile rather than glare and grimace at how ugly I am.
Mom said that I'm also obsessed with Otakon and having a perfect boyish costume.
That's not true...I just said that having short hair is an added bonus, because it won't fall out of a wig.
Because I can make it stick up now if I want to (it's not right now, but with enough stuff it will stick up nicely), I don't need to buy a wig. My hair may be too short, but it'll still have a nice effect.
So if I just use some spray-on hair color stuff, it might look okay.
I have some pants that are very similar to Goggi's, so I've already got that covered, and shoes won't be an issue.
My mother probably isn't going to let me ask my neighbor to make the shirt (she doesn't even want me to go to Otakon anymore), so I'll just look in some thrift shops. It's a goldmine for weird-looking goggles and shimmery shirts.
Cutting my hair....it was sort of symbolic.
My hair is naturally heavy, and it was sort of a burden...kind of like the events of middle school.
So when she cut it, it was like I was letting go of that burden and starting anew, just like going to high school.
So it was kind of like I'm casting aside the old me and all of the bad things that happened, and starting fresh with a new me and a new life.
It's really weird how things work out.
When she was adding the finishing touches, I heard "Wonderwall" come on the radio in there, and my jaw dropped. That's the same song I sang for my class when I was reading my "Being 13" essay. It seems that every time I'm doing something life-changing, I hear that song.
Before that I had been ranting on about my life to the stylist. Weird.
Have you ever done that? Have you ever spilled out your thoughts, emotions, and past to a random person?
I have no idea why....she just made the walls disappear. When I was crying after my mom stormed out of the salon, she held me and told me that everything would be all right. So everything just sort of came out. I told her about how I was bullied, how I never really had a good, dependable father figure, how my friends all left me...everything. I have no idea how it happened.
So here I am, feeling like a whole new person.
It's almost as if all of that stuff never happened.
I feel better knowing that after this summer's over, I'll be starting a new life at a high school with people that will accept me for who I am.
It's finally over....I made it.
Ahaha, sorry for rambling...I was having a weird, poetic moment, or something, I guess.
It happens once in a while, usually after I do something completely crazy.
Please forgive me for my stupidity. I am not worthy of the awesomeness that is this guild. *bows*
I'm very happy to be here and be talking with all of you. You're all really awesome, and I don't deserve it.
I'm probably really annoying. I'm sorry. Please tell me if I'm being annoying, and I'll stop. I'm just really stupid sometimes. ><;;
Ah, I should stop now before I do something stupid.
Thanks for being so awesome, everyone.
And tell me your thoughts on all of this. I'm curious about what you're all thinking.
<3,
Sam
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Posted: Sun Jun 24, 2007 11:11 am
From my experience, mothers all think their children are "obsessed" when they express interest in anything. I wanted to learn Japanese and all of a sudden I somehow want to move to Japan and am "obsessed with Japan". Okay then. >.>
Psh. As long as you're happy and look good, who the hell cares. Tell that woman it relfects badly on her to be worried about what other people think of her daughter's hair of all things. Srsly now.
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Posted: Sun Jun 24, 2007 12:07 pm
If it means anything, I cut my hair short before going into High School too. And although I waited until I was at home to cry at how god-awful it looked, cutting my hair shor really was for the better in the long run.
I've never heard of that song before, and I've never heard of someone's mom actually calling their kid a dyke (although I've been on the recieving end of narcissistic b***h, slut, and egotistical a*****e before), I can relate in some regards.
Again, if you ever feel the need to talk, just hit me up. I'm pretty concerned, and it may be nice to let out some steam on a stranger every once in a while, as you've discovered firsthand :3
PS: I bet that's how Julianna's mom reacted when her Rapunzel-hair went to normal-teenage-girl- hair.
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Posted: Sun Jun 24, 2007 8:51 pm
LearningHowToSmile From my experience, mothers all think their children are "obsessed" when they express interest in anything. I wanted to learn Japanese and all of a sudden I somehow want to move to Japan and am "obsessed with Japan". Okay then. >.> Psh. As long as you're happy and look good, who the hell cares. Tell that woman it relfects badly on her to be worried about what other people think of her daughter's hair of all things. Srsly now. Meeeeep. You actually posted something for the first time in forever. xDD Yeah...she thought I was obsessed when I tried to teach myself Japanese, when I started wearing black more often, when I asked to wear my hair in pigtails like my RuneScape character (I even sprayed it with purple coloring at the festival a few days later, just for the heck of it), etc. And she's still like that.... She thinks I'm obsessed whenever I like someone, when I express interest in a book or series, when I watch a movie more than once, when I listen to a song in loop on my computer, when I ask to see a Shakespeare play, when I mention anything about pride events, and so on. She's really mean to me. I've tried to tell her that before...people can see I'm miserable and terribly restrained, and they've said negative things about her because of that. She assumes that it's because I'm not normal and conservative enough for an ex-HCC President's daughter. (HCC = Hampden Community Council.) She's busted me for wearing fingerless gloves, wearing black, putting my hair in pigtails, wearing a Pucca necklace, being quiet, and even thinking. For example, if I think about something deeply and for a very long time, she snaps at me for it. I tend to do that sort of thing a lot, too, and it really gets on her nerves. When my school forced me out of the closet to my parents, Mum asked me a lot of difficult, stupid, and negative questions. For example: "How many girls have you had sex with?" I'm not a slut, lady. "Why do you think you're a lesbian?" I don't think, I KNOW. And I'm bi. >< "Do you know what sex is?" YES. God, do you think me ignorant, woman?! "Have you kissed a girl before? How many?" Yes, and one. You know that. You're the one who refused to believe that she was hurting me. Grandma had to pull me out of there. "Are you on drugs?" YES. Haha, no. I don't do that sort of thing. "Is this just another rebellious teen sort of thing?" NO. I'm not rebelling against you, I'm rebelling against this homophobic school. I really am like this, and I want to make it known that I won't stand for these insults any longer. "Have you done anything with Olive or Marie?" NO. STOP ASKING ME THAT. Just because they're bi doesn't mean we screw each other every time we get together. She thinks I've got mental health issues just because I like girls. She thinks I'm an addict, a slut, and an idiot. At least she doesn't throw Bible verses at me.
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Posted: Sun Jun 24, 2007 8:58 pm
Kaiba If it means anything, I cut my hair short before going into High School too. And although I waited until I was at home to cry at how god-awful it looked, cutting my hair shor really was for the better in the long run. Haha, that happened to me before. I cut my hair short a long time ago (I was a little kid, so she thoughts nothing of it) and it looked like I got attacked by a lawnmower. The kids wouldn't stop laughing at me until it all grew back... Quote: I've never heard of that song before, and I've never heard of someone's mom actually calling their kid a dyke (although I've been on the recieving end of narcissistic b***h, slut, and egotistical a*****e before), I can relate in some regards. She said I would look like one if I got it cut, not that I was one...but still, it's not right. This sort of thing happens all the time. A lot of parents feel uncomfortable with their children coming out and changing things about themselves. For some, it's against their religious beliefs. For others, they just think it's disgusting and morally wrong. Some parents aren't quite as accepting as others. "Wonderwall" is a song by Oasis. If you find the right recording of it, it's a good song. Quote: Again, if you ever feel the need to talk, just hit me up. I'm pretty concerned, and it may be nice to let out some steam on a stranger every once in a while, as you've discovered firsthand :3 Yeah, I know. xDD I often tell random people about my life...and some people actually like to listen, like you guys and MyaRukawa from dA. Quote: PS: I bet that's how Julianna's mom reacted when her Rapunzel-hair went to normal-teenage-girl- hair. xDD I've never seen her hair that long. Got a link? I bet it was as beautiful as it is now...I just want to touch it for some reason.
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Posted: Sun Jun 24, 2007 9:39 pm
Sorry to hear your mom is something of a close-minded prig. But I'm glad your change makes you happy. ^_+
Any chance you'll share what your new style looks like with us?
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Posted: Mon Jun 25, 2007 1:04 pm
:3 if it makes you feel better, we can hang out around Otakon, and when your mom comes, I can use my cult powers to calm her down. I can't tell you how many crazy parents I've calmed down, even a smidgeon, by talking calmly about the situation at hand. xD you'll see, ne?
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Posted: Mon Jun 25, 2007 2:09 pm
Lily_Kaelar She thinks I'm obsessed whenever I like someone, when I express interest in a book or series, when I watch a movie more than once, when I listen to a song in loop on my computer, when I ask to see a Shakespeare play, when I mention anything about pride events, and so on. She's busted me for wearing fingerless gloves, wearing black, putting my hair in pigtails, wearing a Pucca necklace, being quiet, and even thinking. For example, if I think about something deeply and for a very long time, she snaps at me for it. I tend to do that sort of thing a lot, too, and it really gets on her nerves. At least she doesn't throw Bible verses at me. Man, I've never gotten crap from my mom for doing stuff like that, and I've done practically everything on that list...just not all at once. Well, except for the Pucca necklace and pride events, never done any of that stuff. My dad's the one who gives me crap all the time because I hate sports, but that's a story for another day. I actually don't know many people who get along with both of their parents. Good luck!
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Posted: Mon Jun 25, 2007 8:51 pm
Kaiba :3 if it makes you feel better, we can hang out around Otakon, and when your mom comes, I can use my cult powers to calm her down. I can't tell you how many crazy parents I've calmed down, even a smidgeon, by talking calmly about the situation at hand. xD you'll see, ne? That's okay. xDD My friend's parents are taking us there. So when we meet up, you don't have to calm anyone down, because her parents don't care. xD
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Posted: Wed Jun 27, 2007 4:27 pm
Good dealio. xD Is your friend cosplaying?
BECAUSE OUR STINGY LEFT US DDDD:
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Posted: Wed Jun 27, 2007 5:53 pm
Kaiba Good dealio. xD Is your friend cosplaying? BECAUSE OUR STINGY LEFT US DDDD: Noooooooooooooooooooooooo~!!!!! Uh, yeah...all of my friends are xDD My friends are dressing as characters from Final Fantasy, Kingdom Hearts, and various animes, including Bleach and Gravitation. Courtney's going as Shuichi, I believe... And she's thinking about being Bou from some band or other. I dunno....I don't pay attention.
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Posted: Wed Jun 27, 2007 6:31 pm
It times like these that make me think my parents are actually cool. While, they may be annoying at times, they're open-minded, and the only thing they ever really criticise me about is my laziness.
And, the place my dad works at is having a party on the weekend of Otakon D{: And my mom's refusing to take me.
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Posted: Wed Jun 27, 2007 7:39 pm
I'm sure there's a carpool available to you from wherever. srsly.
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Posted: Thu Jun 28, 2007 12:01 pm
xDD I have many people who would give me a ride.
There's my friend Sarah, then there's and my 5 or 6 other friends who are all going together...
I have neighbors who could take me, including the one who's supplying me with VIP thingies or whatever.
And so on.
Maybe I'll be Stingy next year...I'm sure you'll enjoy that xDD
Right now, my hair's too short to be Goggi's, but it's short enough to be Stingy's....the color is just slightly off.
So if I keep this style, I'll probably be Stingy next year.
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Posted: Sat Jun 30, 2007 1:36 pm
D: don't say that~! Next year is the Mass Yuugiou Revival. I'd be torn~ DDDD:
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