Welcome to Gaia! ::

Who said fruit was good for you anyway?

There once was a Watchman named Vimes,
Who was living in Interesting Times.
He walked down the street,
Just a cop on his beat,
When he was hit by a cartful of limes.



A Gentle Genius

In secret halls 'tween castle walls
A genius man draws out his plan.
A weapon fierce, long bolts that pierce!
And with that lay a brand-new way
To butter toast and rule the coast
With ships so grand they scour the land.
Engine design, his plans benign.
Yet somehow still he draws to kill.
Who is this fool who draws this tool
with mind infirm? Leonard da Quirm.



The Unseen University

Rincewind may be great but his spelling ain't right
He'll run like the dickens to escape any fight
The Dean may be large and can't carry a tune
He once had a jacket that said, "Born to Rune"

The Bursar may be loony, but still great at math
He lost all his marbles from Archchancellor's wrath
Ridcully's the head, though he's thick as a stone
If you must explain something it's best left alone

The orangutan in the library is not just for show
Don't call him a monkey, he'll fetch you a blow
But if you need a book with special import
He'll fetch it with quickness, even from Tsort

With all of this madness it's not hard to see
Why students are tense at Unseen University
And why they drink outside until break of dawn
They return from this sojourn and puke on the lawn

Hallways moving, always twisting.
Voices speaking, never listening.
Thoughts that span, across the ages,
locked forever, in these pages.
The information's never lost,
even once the book's been tossed.
The things that dwell, will leave you mad,
with thoughts your mind has never had.
A place that's home to every book,
or any thought that ever took.
The curator isn't all that scary,
he's just as odd, as this library.

Should you yell 'monkey!'
As the Librarian nears
Death will come for-- "Oook!"