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Nothing in the Woods


The somber woods were cloaked in gloom and mist. Dead, black leaves screamed underfoot and swirled in a whirlwind of fury as I staggered along. A biting wind snapped through the forest, making the trees screech and thrash about, feebly trying to catch their tormentor. The clouds scurried across the sky, freeing the moon for a moment, then capturing her again with a cackle of glee. I like these descriptions, but they're a bit over the top.

A howl rose up behind me as the woods roared in anger. I whirled around, my hair whipping wildly and stinging my eyes as I peered into the darkness and saw the night gaping at me. Could you combine this paragraph with the one before it? It seems like they're both basically descriptions of the woods.

But wait! There, something moving in the darkness ahead! Faintly, I thought I heard the whispering of scales as quiet as velvet caressing bare skin. Through a pair of black skeletal branches, I could see what had to be the soft glow of malicious eyes following me. The thump of heavy, yet soft paws moving forward rang through the woods, steadily getting louder and louder.

Fear crept up my spine as it stalked towards me, while panic kept me rooted to the spot. It’s nothing, it’s nothing, it’s nothing… My frightened brain chanted, a litany against the fear gripping me. Thump. It’s nothing. Thump. Crack. Thump. Nothing moved closer still. I could almost feel its breath on my skin. My brain screamed at me to run, but my numb muscles refused to respond. I was going to die, and I knew it. I like the part with the "it's nothing, it's nothing, it's nothing". It really helped emphasize your fear.

An unearthly roar thundered through the trees, shattering panic’s hold over me. Terrified, I turned and sprinted away from the nightmare. The forest itself fought me as I blindly stumbled on. Roots and dead trees lept up from the ground, knocking me off balance while branches whipped by, catching my hair and clothes and slowing me down. Shadows twisted in grotesque shapes of pain and horror. Which raises the question I was too distracted by the imagery to ask: why in heck were ou in there in the first place?

The dark presence of Nothing loomed ever closer as I staggered on, dimly aware that I could hear human screams echoing through the trees. My breath came in short gasps and I began to slow down, too terrified to stop. The nightmare creature of nothing still hounded me.
Suddenly, a tree limb reared up and I lost my footing. I plunged headfirst over the malignant branch and lay sprawled on the hard ground trying to remember how to breathe. I began to panic as I heard the soft tread of Nothing creep nearer. My lungs tightened painfully as I fought for air. Ha ha! I like that t actually is Nothing! blaugh

I sat up and scanned the nearby woods for my stalker. As I gazed about, I saw a faint circle of light ahead. I lurched to my feet and scrambled towards the warm glow. I could almost feel the creature behind me shriek in fury. As I gradually regained my breath I moved faster. The light inched closer at a painfully slow rate. The trees themselves exploded in a maelstrom of whipping and creaking fury. I pushed myself harder, knowing safety beckoned up ahead. Why is light equated so persistently with safety?

With my last ounce of strength, I tumbled into the warm caress of the soft light. The darkness behind me roared in anger as I tumbled through the radiance. Falling, falling, falling…



…until suddenly I hit the floor with a strangled gasp, wrapped up in my bed sheets. I sat up, quickly disentangling myself from the malevolent cloth, and looked around my bedroom. It was almost morning. The numbers on my alarm clock glowed softly red across the room. My poor vision made it look rather sinister in the dark room. The eyes of the demon that had chased me through my dream looked similar, I realized with a relieved sigh. Why was it a relived sigh? That’s what I get for buying a digital alarm clock. I smiled to myself, then I heard a thumping noise near my door. My heart caught in my throat. I lunged for the lamp and flicked it on…to find my cat leaping wildly in pursuit of a rubber band. She yowled and darted guiltily out of the room. I sighed. It was only a dream. This paragraph was easier [to read], and you got the meaning across well. However, the shorter sentences made for somewhat choppy reading.

With another sigh, I put my glasses on and walked into the living room. It was almost sunrise anyway, and I had no inclination to go back to sleep. Deciding to watch the early morning news, I flopped on the couch and flipped the TV on.

There was a news reporter standing in an almost familiar-looking forest. Black skeletal branches stretched towards the camera. Yellow police tape circled the trees crowding near her. I leaned forward and gazed in growing horror at the scene.

“As you can see, I am standing only a few feet from where the body was found.” The blonde reporter gestured to the yellow-taped woods behind her. I could see policemen swarming about like angry bees. “A seventeen-year old girl, whose name has not yet been released, was found lying at the bottom of the cliff behind me. Police are not sure what happened, and foul play has not been ruled out yet. The investigation of this incident is ongoing,” the woman stated, her hair whipping wildly around her face. Feeling numb, I shut off the TV and leaned back in my chair.

My mind shouted that it was all just a dream. But dreams are powerful things. They can show you a world behind this world. They can show you your deepest desire or your worst fear. Sometimes what they show you is true. Sometimes it is not. This is interesting. The previous paragraph made me wonder whether you were a ghost or something, and you could clarify that better in this paragraph. What it sounds like you are trying to say is that the whole experience was somehow psychic, but the last few sentences are confusing.

Overall: Good job with the descriptive language 3nodding especially considering this was an assignment on the same, but be careful not to go too far, which can it ridiculous and hard to understand. Also good job with the main idea. As You Got Godmail wrote, it could just use a bit of dusting and polishing.