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So I've made a few bad less then wise decisions lately.
Really, I haven't done anything too bad, but I can tell my life's forever changed
And sitting on the computer, with nothing to do, has really just made me realise that even more.
I mean, life's getting more and more complicated. More and more intense. More and more real life, instead of high school life. Y'know what I mean?
It's like this: I have a job, I have responsibilities, I have a future that isn't actually all that far away, I have maturity and experience. I didn't have those a couple years ago. I wasn't care-free or anything then.
Okay- I was pretty depressed at times, but I had my moments (and most of Grade 6...) where I didn't have a care in the world. I don't think I even knew what stress was back then. I had almost zero responsibility, zero reason to worry, zero things that I HAD to do, even though doing it scared me.
And now look at me. I'm pointing out that I don't have that luxury anymore. I sound like a 30 year old or something.
So anyway, now it seems like my life is moving at this freaky fast pace.
Which is good, I suppose. I've wanted change for a really long time.
But now it's like 'whoa, why is everything happening at once?!'
I'm realizing who I can and can't turn to for the important things.
I'm, basically, realizing that I'm living life, I guess.
It's hard to rant and not say to much. It's not like I dont' want people to know, I just don't want EVERYONE knowing what's going on in my life.
But really, it's a stupid thing to be scared of couse no one reads these things anyway. pirate
Except for me. Cause I like reading other peoples thoughts. x.X
Anyway, even though some certain people won't support me because of certain reasons that I, bluntly put, believe are complete bullshit no-excuse reasons,
I have a person who WILL be there.
And that means alot to me, because if any person should be there, it should be this one.
So what does that mean for me?
That sometimes in the next week, I have to grow some balls (...well, not really. That'd be kinda weird) and I have to put myself in a not-so comfortable position.
But it'll be ALOT better for me if I do this one thing.
It could save me alot of trouble in the end.
It'll save me alot of stressing and worrying.
So I've decided that from now on, I'm going to do what I have to, no matter what.
And that, kids, is my mid-new years resolution.
I turn 15 in less then a month.
Jesus christ.
I want preseeeeents!
<333
Iced.Cappuccino · Mon May 21, 2007 @ 08:42pm · 0 Comments |
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