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Why hello there, cobweb collecting journal of mine.

I see that you are exactly as I left you, boring and indifferent.

I'm in one of those complicated teenage moments when you realize how superficial and absolutely fake your best friend is, and then realize that you truly deep down inside hate her, because you are of course her token fat friend. It was great when I weighed less than her, then she started losing. Huzzah for L.A. Weightloss on her part.

I gained.

Yay me.

Now at every opportunity she gets too, she spams how hot and thin she is now, and how ugly and fat she was THEN. And lo and behold she always does it in front of me. Flaunting her weight loss and her good her clothing looks on her. Flaunting her new bikini in her new hottub with her new boyfriend. All these things that my token fat a** doesn't have.

How very sweet of you.

And then graduation comes up, and it is always nice when a friend graduates early, right? She hasn't talked to me for a week.

I didn't get invited to see what was supposed to be my BEST FRIEND graduate.

Thanks a lot, b***h.

I won't miss you. I won't miss your pompous attitude. Yeah, you can drive. Yeah you get drunk and have sex and do drugs all the time. Yeah you play with boy's hearts like they are simple little toys to you. You vindictive little witch. You think you're all grown up, dontcha? Well as a matter of fact you are just a seventeen year old girl who threw herself into college life too soon. Those parties are gonna seem great at first until your grades start slipping. And you're on birth control so who cares if you have sex all the time. We all know you're perfect and won't get pregnant. That margin of error with the pill has no effect on you.

How lucky for you.

I can't wait until you get that cold slap in the face from life telling you to wake up, and that party time is over. Don't worry, it'll hit ya soon. And don't you dare come crying to me. You have treated me like a child. A god damn child. We are the same age. Just because you are graduating early does not make you any older or better than myself.

I am not your ******** token fat friend. I am a human being and I refuse to be stepped on anymore.

Not by you, not by anybody else.

I am taking a stand.

I need this more than anyone else.

My entire life I have been stepped on. I refuse to let it happen anymore.

So what if you weight what I did two years ago? I'm still beautiful. I'm still smart, and I'm still going to be successful. I still have a plan for myself. And it doesn't include your pity.

Go, get out of my life.

Let me live mine.

Because all these years I thought you were my friend, you were just suffocating me, and slowly ripping my wings off.

It is MY turn to shine.

My turn to feel beautiful and to stop hating myself.

My turn.

MY ******** TURN.