Life suddenly before me, looks dull and unimportant. Your tears, they mean nothing to me. Our time, I fear, grows short. As does my love for you. It was never everlasting. Never had I uttered those words to a single person. So many seeds have been sewn, not one to grow blessedly. Not one to know me. Is it a sin?Fear not, for you are not at fault for my disappearing love. Maybe it is myself. Maybe I am to blame, the cirme: not knowing love. For how am I to love, or to learn at all the meaning if I care not for you?
To love it to put above all else. Even yourself. Maybe I'm so inate to human nature, that I care only for myself. Love only myself. If you cried, I'd just sit and watch. I can offer no comfort or solice. I could not bear to hold you.
I cannot, more so dare not, bring myself to do so. To love is to have weakness. And weakness means to have pain and suffering. No one likes to suffer. Pain is something we all have to deal with. The blank element has it's ways of always invading your mind and body.
To be honest, I love to see people in pain. It means that you're alive, but if you don't feel it, does that mean that you're not? Sometimes, i feel as if I may not be. I feel no physical pain, nor do I suffer the meaningless pains that you as "humans" do. If I have no feelings of love, does that make me a monster?
I truely feel no happiness when I look at you. I only feel constricted and tied down by you. Is this supposed to feel right? Being tied down and attached to one person can make you happy? Is it that I just have not felt this before, or is it that I'm incapable of feeling this pleasure?
If I had loved once, I would've never known. Tryng to hold on to something that will not stay is pointless. So to hold on to me, or I for you, would end in disaster. Like to magnets with the same charge. Love and Love will repel.
You left me, but... I don't feel enough for you to cry. Love is but an illusion.
To love me, you must hate me...
Felix~
To love me, you must hate me...
Felix~
