I wonder sometimes, if I'm as strong as I tell you I am. And then I wonder if by saying I'm strong, am I strong? And then I wonder if it matters And then I reach for oblivion. Because, like everyone else, I like the easy way out. -Maddles
I wish there was an easy answer in life. I wish I was wasn't so contradicting in my emotions. Most of the time I just wish people could read minds so I wouldn't have to talk so much. There is always a simple solution, I, however, am to content to do it. I don’t understand how I can say what is on my mind when it comes to everything but this. When it comes to the important things….my mouth stays shut. I wonder if it will always be like this. I guess I’ll grow out of the same way you grow out of other things. I just wish time would reverse. I wish I was a kid again. I don’t want to deal with things like this now. Especially now. I think I had this view how it was suppose to be. Once you are in it you realize it is not all meeting at airports and continuous empathy. Apathy run its life. I just didn’t think it would run over me. Pity that. I suppose I made my bed and I must now lie in it. Regardless of how much it hurts.
In recent news:
The spider bite got knifed. There is now a crater-shaped hole in my leg. It is healing rapidly. I’m so very glad. It doesn’t hurt to walk anymore! That is all it takes to get this girl to be happy….to walk without it feeling like midgets are stabbing me.
I shopped today for Washington clothes and such. I will be leaving next Sunday. My flight is at ten in St. Louis. I should arrive there about one. I’m going to be arriving home about 3ish the following Saturday with a renewed interest in journalism and politics. Haha.
In case you are wondering: I’m scared shitless. But much excited as well. I think it will be something refreshing. As long as I get to meet Al Franken, Michael Moore, or Obama, I’m fancy.
If I don’t talk to you before the trip pray or meditate or hope for a safe trip home.
Peace, Brittny
contradictedopposition · Sun Jul 08, 2007 @ 12:37am · 0 Comments |