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This isn't about me. This is about my dad. I'm just going to twist it around so that it sounds like it's about me, but, in your heart, you'll know the truth. So, quick thing about me: sometimes I avoid personal spotlight, and put family members or close friends in instead.
There. You've had your fill.
We have this fruit fly problem at our house. It's not too bad; mostly, they congregate in the kitchen and on the living room mirror. We get them every summer, and every winter, we accumulate massive amounts of ladybugs on our laundry room ceiling. I guess we're a bug-friendly facility.
My dad has an internal gift for devising unique methods by which he exterminates household pests. Last year, he would wait for the fruit flies to land on the mirrors. I don't know why they like it there -- vanity, I guess. When there were about fifteen of the little suckers gazing at themselves, he'd spray them with ridiculous quantities of Windex so they'd drown or die of toxic fumes. It didn't really help with our bug problem, but our mirrors were immaculate.
Summer came. We had literally hundreds of ladybugs on our ceiling. It was probably the worst year ever, but that was due to the fact that our city was having the coldest winter since like 1970 or something. We've never had them that bad before. Usually, my dad just waits for them to leave, because they come and go pretty quickly, but everyone was scared to go do laundry with all of those little red and yellow bumps up there. So, he took a car vacuum and sucked them all up.
But that's not his best method, yet. Yesterday, I came home from helping with VBS, and my dad was yelling, "Crap!" I walked to the kitchen to investigate.
The man had some kind of unrecognizable food in the microwave, with the door swinging ajar. I asked him, unsure of his sanity, "Dad? What are you doing?"
"Well, I put this in here to attract the flies. I was going to shut them up and burn them alive."
Oh. So that's where I get it from.
Xhapoirah · Wed Aug 01, 2007 @ 08:15pm · 1 Comments |
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