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One day, Kris (my best friend) and I when to the mall. It was very crowded and panicked. This didn't surprise us, because all malls are like that close to Christmas. But when we started to see cops we started to worry a bit. there were mothers clinging to their eight year olds screaming "OMFG, MONSTER!!!"

The cops started to move the crowd away from the cops called a "really big knife". Kris gave me a sideway glance, "what do you think is going on?" she said, staring at the commotion.

"i don't know, nor do i care." i said looking at the "really big knife" sticking out of the cracked linoleum floor of the mall. "pssh, those cops are stupid! thats not a knife it's a sword shaped like a knife! I mean come on! Blades are not categorized by there shape first, but by there size first. I mean geeze, that thing is HUGE. too big to be a knife!" i said turning in to the Suncoast video walking straight to the B-Movie Horror section.

"hey Kris! they have the 'Screaming Skull' here!" i said turning around, only to find no one there. "Kris? where'd you go??" I walked out of the store. I looked left and right for her.

As I was looking for her i slipped in someones spilled Dairy Queen. I fell into a photo booth that someone was in.

"hey I'm sorryyyy-" I looked up and there was what looked like a tall man in a bloody apron and a triangular helmet. "HOLY s**t-" It covered my mouth before I could finish saying it. I was both scared shitless and turned on...which made me think what the hell is wrong with me? I could die!

It slowly moved its hand away from my mouth; this confused me. "You're not going to kill me?" He nodded his head. "Well if it's alright with you i think I'll go now!" I tried to climb out of the booth but he putted me back in his lap. He was trying to tell me something, but i couldn't read his gestures. "okay, what do you want me to do? I don't understand." He grabbed at his helmet in frustration, shacking his head.

Pyramid Head ( ;3 ) raised his hand for the one word sign. "oh cherades! I'm good at that." He made the sounds like hand sign then ran his hands down his body. "uhhh...sounds like...sexy?" He shook his head no. He thought for a minute then tried again. He made the masturbation hand sign. This made me blush. "uhhh, c**?" he moved his hands to say, okay close, more. "oh! sounds like Ecstasy!" He nodded. "oh my god, I'm stupid! you want me to help you escape right?" He nodded.

With Communication problems aside, i stuck my head out of the photo booth, and spotted Kris.

"HEY KRIS! come here!" I shouted.

"omg, i've been looking for you!" she said. "where did you go?"

"I fell..." i said opening the curtain a little. Her eyes widened, but she was speechless. "can you make a distraction so he can escape?" i said my smile begging her to help.

She sighed, "okay, fine. but you owe me big." she ran up an escalator and started to scream "THE MONSTER IS AT THE FOOD COURT!!! GET HIM!!!"

I jumped out of the photo booth and told Pyramid head to fallow me. Luckily the door wasn't too far, so it was easy.

But people outside began to freak out and run into the nearest department store. "********, what am i going to do with you..." i said looking for a safe hiding place.

I spotted the abandoned bank in the parking lot. It was perfect. I made a run for it, and Pyramid head fallowed. the door in the back with all the power generators was open and we snuck in.

"well your safe now; how do you like this place?" all the windows were covered in newspaper and broken chairs. there were only three clean tables in the whole place. Pyramid Head seemed happy.

He found a sharpie and a note book, and wrote: Sex?

"well...whatever! you deserve it!"

And so I was ******** Happily ever after!