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*The Music for this journal entry was supplied by Weezer from their Blue album, Surf Wax America, #6, still their best album, then Pinkerton*
Have you ever thought about what life would be like without you? What about if life for you suddenly stopped, how your sudden-death would affect those around you? I'm sure all of us have had this thought come to us at one point or another. I know it's often come to me during my high school years. Why is adolescence so hard at times, and why was high school so...so...high school? What WOULD life be like without me living here? I don't think it would be very fun, after all, I am biased. But what would life be like with me just suddenly dying? Would there be a funeral? If so, who would come? IF not, would anyone care? Did I matter that much to someone, to anyone at all, to warrant any tears shed? What could I possibly have done to have that much of an effect? What about this: what would happen if someone close or dear to me just up and died? How would it affect me? Would I shed tears? Would I mourn; and then who would be there to comfort me? Who would I be there for to comfort?
Thoughts turn over in the mind, nothing seems like before, I don't like to think it's all kind. Why do I delve Why do I think deep why do I stil think myself a creep? Why is it novel to think of life without me? sudden death, horrible death the kind spoken of in newscasts papers, edited columns..... why is it so fun to ponder? It feels like I can never get ahead, others sucking on silver spoons others not giving a damn why is it so difficult for me either way? Why? Because I am someone I am who I want to be I can't throw in the towel now There is still much I want to see. I am who I am and I am who I want to become Without this, there is nothing, I am already done, passed away checked out, ticket punched. Do you really want that? I don't. I will fly, outta Hell, like a bat. Won't you join me?
I don't want to give in to what wants to drag me down and out of the fight. Pal was right, life is a fight, and I figure we can either run our course or not.
Inbrightestday · Tue May 10, 2005 @ 07:41am · 0 Comments |
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