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...and you feel so dumb for not seeing it all before?

Oh gosh I know how that feels! I’m startled every day by it. Sometimes just walking past the mirror sets it off. I look and go ‘Whoa! Who the heck is that?’ Stare at the face and then go. ‘Oh yeah that’s me! Man, I’m so not the girl I use to be…when the heck did that happen?!’ Kinda funny what you see when you step back and away from yourself. You get the perspective of another, and it’s such a radical change it becomes addictive! And the more you do it, the more you find things to like about yourself, and you learn to dislike what actually should be disliked! And then you start becoming truer to yourself and slowly you become a piece of smoked glass. I say smoked, because no one can be utterly transparent…Break wile I take my pill…ew, okay. Uuuh where was I? Oh right, smoked glass. No one can become utterly transparent, well I don’t think so at least. There’s always some secrets that you just don’t want to share, some things that remain between you and God, or you and whoever. But even though the glass is smoked, you can still see through it. Have you ever noticed that when people are true to themselves, people just can’t seem to help but like them? Have you? It’s hard to hate someone who’s just themselves, in all their strengths and weakness, rights and faults. And the more you spend time with that person, the more you began to see that they wear away your covers. Like, when you rub a coin over a scratch off game piece (thing) the coin is pure, it has no cover (so to speak) so when rubbed up against the game piece, the cover comes off. Wile when you spend time with someone who’s got covers of they’re own, when you rub up against another one covered, the cover becomes thicker because part of there cover becomes yours. Follow?
I remeber what it was like to be the one covered. But now, I feel like I'm coming out of it. True I'm not out of the woods just yet. But the journeys become less tangled, and with any luck thats made me alittle more like the coin, and not the game piece. And by being the coin, maybe I can help my little sisters whose going into theose teenage years, yeah we all know them, and those who don't will. One way or anouther. But yes you know what I mean, where you strive so hard to fit in and the layers keep pileing up! Well, if their's anyone reading this who needs to vent, I'll talk to you, its the least i could do to help! Although it maybe wierd rambling to someone you don't know. And yet it might be easier. Either way I'm here if you care to chat!