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Hey, I know it's been a while and a lot's happened and at the same time nothing's happened can't believe it's been over a year since I ad moved in to Normandy and left, and the tragic events that happened that surrounded that time in my life, the few good things too. It's true, time really dose move in the blink of an eye. Some things I never thought would happen, happened and there was a few times I proved myself right and wrong at the same time, I met a few new friends I'd be willing to call family, and got closer to the ones I already had. Oh I'm writing a new album, hopefully I can get help writing melodies and such. It's called The Mourning After and some one the songs include "This Jacket", "the Mourning After Pill" and "My December Bride"

As some of you already know on July 21 I was in a bad car wreck, at least that's what everyone says; I don't remember it, but anyway I was care-flighted from Piggly-Wiggly to Parklin hospital in Dallas, where they told me I broke my neck and fractured my wrist; and it's not so much broke my neck as much as I fractured T-2 which, I think, means it's relatively minor. I have to wear a neck brace for two and a half more moths and two week for the brace. Well, I'm doing better than expected. I have full use of everything and life is a lot better now surprisingly. I really think the wreck was a wake up call. I wasn't taking my break up with LaShaunna as well as I portrayed, it hit me really hard and I was constantly depressed and I just couldn't see what good in my life, and God has used the crash to really open my eyes to a lot, I just can't be depressed anymore, or rather I wont let myself be sad anymore, I still have life left to live. I also want to say thanks for all the prayers; I doubt I should have survived without them. On a side note the whole time I was in the hospital I had the song "Buried" by Alkaline Trio stuk in my head, but I couldn't remember all the words so it drove me crazy, needless to it was the first song I listened to on the ride home.

On a totally random note Aaron and I were talking the other moment and the subject came to school and I said I'd like to go back and do my last few semesters again, knowing what I know now. Moments passed and I said if I could go back I'd tell at least one person off and get them out of my life. At soon as I said that I know I wanted to tell off Tiff and stay waiting for Kay, the girl I was after when we started dating. I'd get the girl and, hopeful, live happily ever after; although after thinking about it some more, I came to the conclusion I couldn't tell off Tiffany. I would have never met my three best friends. If Kay and I had dated the Mutt and I would have drifted apart sooner and I would have never moved in with her and never met Fred and Aaron, plus I would have prolly never seen Dave again.

In the end I decided to not tell anyone off but rather observe and replay events carefully, but most of all I would have treated LaShaunna better, I wouldn't have made her cry on Halloween cause of a stupid crush, I would have avoided Kim and kept my childlike innocence, but above all, when Tiff told me she was cheating on me I would have walked off, calling the relationship over, and started dating her then like she deserved.

As for my stance on the break up. I was doing well there for awhile, but as of lately I've been falling apart, it feels as if I'm on the very of a breakdown. My inferiority complex is taking over, and I'm afraid she never loved me as much as I thought, or possibly, she did love me at some point, it's just by the end of the relationship/friendship, or even the middle, her love for me was gone; although I do understand that I love her more than I'll ever know, and she was the best thing to ever step foot in my world. If she ever gave me another chance I wouldn't take it, I don't her to ever hurt this bad again. Anyway it's late/early I'm going to stop here