if you find someone you love and loves you back in life your considered blessed. even more so if you find them early on in life. its considered a miricle to find the person you would spend the rest of your life loveing early on. and almost impossible to find true the person you couldn't live your life without so young. well i am a man so fortunate. my problem....i and a mixture of bad happenings ruined what i had. mostly i well...entirly i blame myself. no i'm not the only one with short commings but i do feel that i should have been more mature. i love her with all my heart. i would spend the rest of my life with her.things changed. we talk so little now. i never stopped feeling for her. but in the end it was she who moved on. perhaps it is better.i always knew she deserved better. and i wish her no ill. if it ment my life that she would spend the rest of hers happy i would gladly give it up. i believe that. i am a man hwo would give everything up if it ment that the person i love the most would spend the rest of there life happy, completly and utterly happy.so now i sit here writeing at my computer because it gives me strength to let it go.... exept it ...... move. take your pick in a min i'll listen to "clubbed to death" by rob B. i'll probable take a walk while listening to it. it is my way of crying. you see i can't shed tears. the most that comes out is one or two at best then nothing and those are mostly because i refuse to yawn and just sit there and shake instead. i envy those that cry. you are the strong.me i listen to that song andn walk completly over come by sorrow and i let it pour out of me as the music plays. it is both hard and beautiful angry and traggic. I cannot compete with life. i must find a way to change it. i will love her as long as i live. i will never forget her. not even this world can say that about any of its hero's...if you read this make a comment i don't care how small just say what ever comes to mind or what you feel.
ANTIZAIN · Tue Jun 07, 2005 @ 11:53am · 2 Comments |