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stories from a crappy toy soldier |
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A Soldier’s Journal by: Viviana "clover" Gustavsson
crappy cutesey stories 4 u
LAUGHING PLANS
The time I laughed the hardest was when my dad sat down and didn’t expect to sit on a whoopee cushion. I put the whoopee cushion in his chair at the dinner table; he sat down and the whoopee cushion deflated making a disturbing sound. I started to laugh hard than I ever have laughed before. It was hilarious, my dad though I was laughing at the way he was eating the spaghetti. He asked, “What did I do that is so funny?” I replied “your spaghetti is flying all over the place and the spaghetti sauce is splashing on everything. You also sat on my whoopee cushion.” My mom and I started laughing, dad hearing me and mom laugh so hard that he started to laugh.
When we finished laughing my dad asked me how did I come up with such a good plan. I told him that while I was playing with my whoopee cushion he went to the bathroom and that’s when I decided to play a prank on him. I blew up the whoopee cushion, put it in his chair and covered it with a towel. The hardest part was waiting for him to come back.
When I finished telling my dad how I planned for him to sit on the whoopee cushion it was time for me to take my bubbly bubble bath. I put on my nightie nights, that’s what I call my pajamas, and fed my fish. My mom and dad tucked me into bed and I started planning my next prank. I was going to plan this prank on my dad. I thought to myself should I make the prank messy or really annoying that dad will scream for mercy. I have not decided yet.
In conclusion my pranks are awesome and my next one will be better than ever. So beware, you don’t know where the Viv-ster will strike again.
KING COBRA
As you know snakes are very deadly, but do you know about the king cobra. He has black and brown scales in a design. His body is slick, slimy and slippery. King cobras do not have a nose that is why they smell using their tongue. A king cobra is deaf they do not have ears to hear at all, they feel by vibrations. A king cobra can grow up to 10 feet long and stand straight up to look you in the eye.
A king cobra’s habitat is a warm and wet place, for instance a lake, swamp or a rain forest. The king cobra even likes a jungle or a desert if it is not too dry. It must have a little bit of water or rainfall. If not the king cobra would live in people’s houses and their yards.
The king cobra likes to eat rat snakes, mice and rabbits. He bites his prey and injects venom in the immune system with its teeth. The venom numbs the prey and he swallows it whole.
The two reasons for having the king cobra is to keep the mice and rat population down. If we did not pests would crawl everywhere. The king cobra is a deadly dangerous snake, but its venom can even cure diseases most of the time. Its venom can help old people with arthritis pain. The king cobra is not too bad; I just wouldn’t want to run into one.
THE GREAT GOBLINS PUMPKIN HEAD
One scary Halloween night a sudden wind blew all the lights out in Atlanta, Georgia. When the lights went out, you heard boom, boom, and boom!
In this small dark neighborhood there were twenty kids trick or treating house to house when the street lights went out. The kids began to feel very frightened because they couldn’t see. One of the kids had a flashlight in his trick or treat bag and they walked to a farm. Once they got to the farm they started to pick pumpkins so they could make pumpkin pie. One of the kids accidentally grabbed a pumpkin but the pumpkin was strange because it was green.
The pumpkin started to grow legs and arms and the kid dropped the pumpkin and it got mad. So the pumpkin says “guess who it is?” It’s “I’m the Great Goblin Pumpkin Head” riding on his big black horse. He hypnotized the kids to come to his cave automatically they followed him to his cave; he cut out their hearts, broke their spines, but the last child remembered that she had acid in her trick or treat bag. She held her nose, closed her eyes and poured the acid on him. The great goblin pumpkin head began to melt and yelled “I SHALL RETURN!”
BOOK
If I wrote a book it would be … interesting, dramatic, funny and romantic.
The title would be The Call of Love. If you read the book first, you would think, then be scared, then laugh and at the end you would cry.
Stefan’s life is very bad and he no longer likes Jane any more, because she made his life miserable by yelling at him all the time.
The end is my favorite part because as Jane is about to kiss Stefan to say sorry, but he takes a knife and kills himself. Five years later Jane, she got married to a man named George in Las Vegas and they had five kids their names are Chico, Jose, Maria, Josefina and Lonnie.
They lived happily ever after.
THE END
rofl pirate mrgreen
 hummergirl777 · Fri Jan 04, 2008 @ 05:58am · 1 Comments |
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