Yesterday.
That everything was like it was last year... It was sooo much better. People told me stuff. Now, No one tells me anything. It makes me feel so left out. The only one that tells me anything anymore is John. Sometimes, I feel as if I'm loosing everyone. How come no one else feels it? And how come it's just me that they're not telling? What have I done? It's like, I'm all alone. I feel like I'm drifting away from everyone, And like being alone is the only way to stop the pain from pouring out in the middle of class. I wish you understood, all of you. But you wont, untill you see it from my point of veiw. Sometimes, I wishi t could go back where we were all friends, and when we told each other everything. I hate this. I hate feeling left out. And no one will read this anyway. So what's the point? I don't know. I'm afraid to tell you because it'll be like I'm jelous of the new friendships that you've made. I'm not. I just want you all back. Where I told you what happend, And you tell me stuff about your life. Behind The Facade, there's that person, who's always afraid to say what they feel. For fear of either being made fun off, or taken the wrong way. And when I do open up, it seems like it doesn't really make us closer, but further apart. And to die is better that living? Because living is not worth it? Well, it is. I think, anyway. Maybe not to you, but even with how I feel, and everything, I look forward to going to school and seeing everyone each day. I guess no one else feels that way. So. For the first time, I'm All Alone.
Today.
I miss him sooo much. he had to get grounded, where I can't talk to him, right? Of course. So I can die. </3. I wish he was here. Going through all of this with me. But he can't be. Because he's a bum. Today was a little better than yesterday. But I still barely got to talk to him. I wish we had some classes together. I just noticed: I haven't posted a Journal in a loooong time. :[. Gah! I want to talk to him soooooooooooo badddd........ Grawr. I'm going to die now. Especially because I haven't felt good all day. Oodles of fun, right? Yup. I knew it. <3 for those who'll miss me when I'm gone.
NaruxHina4eva · Wed Jan 30, 2008 @ 11:20pm · 0 Comments |